“Yeah, I don’t want to be on my own anymore.”

  I slide the car around, barely even noticing if I have space or not, and grab onto Clara’s arm. “We need to be strong, for Nova. We need to get in there to see her.”

  “Yeah.” She pants a couple of times. “Let’s do it.”

  I squeeze her hand and give her a reassuring smile. She doesn’t return it, but I can see the determination cross her expression. “I think I’m ready. Let’s go.”

  I push the car door open, immediately hearing more bangs, but I know that these are in my head, so I don’t let them trouble me. I do keep jumping, but I keep strong for Clara’s sake. I drag her with me and we run inside the building.

  The lights are so bright I can barely keep my eyes open. It’s a false, bright white light that glares. I guess I’ve been sitting in the dark all day long, so this is odd.

  “We made it,” Clara gushes to me. “We’re here, inside.”

  “Fuck, now we need to go and find Nova.”

  I didn’t even realize how much I’ve pushed my fear about Nova down until I see the reception desk and I realize I’m not far away from finding out the truth. Now, it consumes me. It swallows me up and nearly spits me right back again.

  I’m cold, in pain with it, yet somehow, my blood runs burning hot.

  “We need to go and find out what room she’s in.”

  “I’ll go and ask.” Clara bounds over to the desk, much keener than me.

  I rock back and forth awkwardly on my heels, trying to calm my thoughts down. I can’t get too panicky or I won’t be able to handle this. I might be getting the worst news, and need to be able to hold it together if I do.

  I will have to get the cops over and then tell them everything. I’ll need all my wits about me then. To get Nova the justice…

  “She’s in room twenty-eight.” Clara grabs my hand. “Down the hall.”

  “Did they say anything about her condition?”

  “We’ll find out in a moment, come on, let’s go.”

  Her impatience is confusing. I’m too frightened to see her… I probably wouldn’t if it wasn’t for Clara, so it’s good that she’s here.

  “Twenty-eight.” The numbers on the door look huge and daunting. “Here she is.”

  Without any more hesitation, Clara pushes the door open. I peer in, not sure what I’m going to see. It isn’t great. Nova is attached to many machines. Too many for words. I don’t like seeing all those wires fastened to her.

  She’s breathing, I try to reassure myself. Her heart is beating. Focus on the positives.

  Now all I need to do is get her to wake up. Then everything will be okay.

  “It looks like surface wounds, doesn’t it? She doesn’t look too hurt.” Clara grabs Nova’s hand. “Oh, and she’s very warm. Feel her.”

  I take a tentative step forward and touch her softly, my pulse kicking up a notch as I do. She is warm, that’s good, and I can’t see too much blood which is a plus.

  “Wake up, Nova,” I mutter quietly. “Wake up, please.”

  “I have a feeling that you’ll be saying that a lot.” Clara glances towards the door. “I might go and find a doctor, see if I can work out what’s going on.”

  She’s much more confident in this place, no longer screaming and curled over, prepared to walk about on her own. She might be acting a little manic, but that’s to be expected. I just hope that isn’t a mistake.

  “Okay, I’ll wait here, but please don’t be late.”

  Once she goes I stare at Nova with a heaviness in my heart. Seeing her like this is horrible. Knowing that she’s had such a hard life so far and that she doesn’t deserve any of it kills me.

  “Wake up, Nova. Then we can fight him. Together.”

  21

  Nova

  It’s white and too bright. It’s very painful, burning my retinas. I want to wake up like everyone keeps telling me to, but how the hell can I do that when my eyes can’t hack it?

  Come on, I try to convince myself. Power through it, there is so much to fight for.

  I think I might be able to hear voices. There is something muffled going on in my ears. I just can’t work out what any of the sounds are. They’re comforting though, that much is for sure. I like the sounds, they don’t scare me like Jeremy always has done.

  I try again, I pry my eyes apart, but they snap close again. I don’t give up. I keep blinking and blinking, water streaming down my cheeks until eventually, I can keep them open for a couple of seconds.

  “Nova… are you awake?”

  It sounds like Zane, possibly. I just hope it isn’t the Zane that I’ve been dreaming about. Much as he’s wonderful, I’ve been in my mind for far too long, I’m ready for reality.

  “Nugh,” I gurgle back, unable to get any more words out. “Urgh.”

  My throat hurts, it aches with a deep dryness that I can’t dampen. There isn’t enough saliva in my mouth. Thankfully, whoever I’m with seems to sense that and some water is dripped between my lips, bringing all of me back to life.

  “Oh, Nova, thank goodness you’re okay.” It is Zane. I can see him now. He looks even more beautiful than he did in my mind. “You have no idea how worried me and Clara have been.”

  “Clara?” He doesn’t even know Clara, I never got a chance to introduce them, so I don’t understand how he’s with her now. Unless she ended up in the hospital as well.

  “She’s okay. She’s gone to call her husband because he’s finished his night shift now and she doesn’t want him to worry where she is.”

  “All night?”

  “Yeah, you’ve been here all night. But the doctor said you got lucky. I guess whoever took the shot at you wasn’t that good because they didn’t end up doing much damage at all. I thought that Jeremy had hired the best of the best but since we’re still alive…” His words trail off and he sighs. “Sorry, I’m babbling, I know I am. I’m just so excited to speak to you again.”

  I wish I could speak more to him but I’m still half in shock, half too hoarse. I can only speak a little bit and I guess I want to know what’s going on. “What’s happened?”

  “Well, you were shot, I guess you know that.” I nod, remembering that much. “And he came for me too, but he didn’t get me. Clara came and told me you were here, so we came to find you.” I can sense him skating over a few details, but right now I’m only about to process the basics. “The police have been here. We’ve done our statements. I guess they will want one from you too. From what I can work out, some people have been arrested but I don’t know if any of them is Jeremy. You don’t need to worry though, we have protection on the door.”

  “Protection?”

  “Police officers with guns. So, there’s no chance of anyone getting to you.”

  “Will he be arrested?”

  “Jeremy?” Zane nods and smiles. “As soon as they find him, he will be. That will make everything so much easier. He won’t be able to come after you anymore and the divorce will be ridiculously easy to put through. You will be able to get what you want from it.”

  I still don’t want anything, even after all of this. I just want the marriage to be done and to be free from Jeremy. I honestly just want my life back. I don’t even feel like I’m ‘owed’ anything, it isn’t like that for me. I want to survive on my own, even if it’s really hard.

  “And you can start your life fresh, whatever you want to do, you can achieve anything.”

  My mind wanders off for a moment, I wonder what I will do with myself. The next thing I want to do will be a career, not just a job. I’m not quite sure what that will be but I’m really looking forward to discovering more about myself in the process.

  “Oh, Nova, you have no idea how happy it makes me see you awake. I honestly thought that I’d lost you.”

  He kisses on the top of my forehead, ever so gently, then slides his lips down my cheek. Just before he reaches my mouth I whisper something so quietly to him, it’s a miracle he actually hears it. After everything that’s happened, life is too short for me not to say my feelings. Even if it’s too soon, even if I shouldn’t because I might scare him away, even if I risk not hearing it back… I just want him to know because it feels like the right thing to do.

  “I love you.”

  His eyes open wide, I almost see panic there, but then it’s quickly replaced with joy. I think I just shocked him. His hand cups my cheek and he looks deeply into my eyes. Staring at me with such happiness I melt into a puddle between his fingertips.

  “I love you too, Nova, so, so much.”

  Then his lips are on mine and we’re kissing, and it’s the best sensation in the whole damn world. Knowing that neither of us should be here, that we have been in so much danger, makes this so much more wonderful. The kiss is soft, romantic, yet passionate too. His desperation bursts through and I’m sure that mine does too.

  I wish I wasn’t in a hospital bed, so I could just make him my own already.

  “I could just kiss you all day long,” he groans happily at me. “But I think we’re setting your heart monitor alight.”

  We burst into laughter, listening to the rapid bleeping of the machine. He really is driving me wild. Just like always. At this moment, it doesn’t even matter if everything is messed up, we’re sneaking a moment of sheer joy in all of it. It shouldn’t be ours, but it is.

  “I saw you, you know. When I was out. It was strange. I kind of knew it was a dream because you kept telling me to wake up, but it felt so real.”

  “I was sitting beside you telling you to wake up, maybe that’s why.”

  My heart warms, then freezes over once more. “I hope that isn’t the case because I saw Jeremy too. And my parents. Basically, everyone was making me want to wake up, so I can take Jeremy down. I need to make sure he can’t hurt anyone else.”

  Zane’s face breaks into a smile. “Well, I will be there to help you with that.”

  His hand clings to mine and his skin sends electricity right through me. Just as it always has done. This man has always made me feel this way, this is what love is supposed to be like. If only I’d met Zane before Jeremy…

  I guess I might not have been mature enough for it then. But it still would’ve been better.

  “I’m back!” The door flies open and Clara’s red face appears. “Oh my God, Nova. You’re awake. I was so worried that you wouldn’t wake up ever…”

  She shoves Zane out the way and grabs onto me, her eyes flashing with all kinds of emotion. A small giggle bursts past my lips, I can’t help it, her face is just so full of feelings.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” I reassure her.

  “No, it wasn’t you, it was that horrible man you married. I can’t believe you didn’t wake me up the moment he turned up at the door. I’m gutted, I couldn’t help you.”

  “I didn’t want my mistakes to affect anyone else. They affected Zane enough…”

  “You don’t need to worry about me,” Zane jumped in. “I will get all the papers to print a retracement, now that the truth will come out. Sure, mud might stick in some cases, but I know that I haven’t done anything wrong. I will ride high and win this.”

  “I still feel bad though.” I dart my eyes nervously between Zane and Clara. “For the effect, this has had on both of you.”

  We all smile at one another, united in this shared experience. It isn’t a great one, but as I’ve learned from my past, negative experiences can lead to something wonderful. We all just need to get through this and we’ll come out the other side.

  “So, when the hell am I going to get out of here?” I ask with a smile. “I’m sick of it already.”

  “I can go and get a doctor?” Zane replies.

  I nod. “Thank you. That would be good, so I know what’s going on.”

  Also, it’ll give me a moment with Clara by myself and I think we might need a chat. I need to be more open-minded to what she has to say now because her words are wiser than mine.

  “I’m so sorry, Clara. I didn’t mean to bring any of this to you.”

  “It isn’t your fault! I don’t know how I can make you feel that this isn’t your fault. It never has been. I know you chose to marry Jeremy, but you didn’t know what you were walking into when you did. You also didn’t ask for any of this to happen! This is all on him. And, in case you’ve forgotten, you’re the one who’s come out of it the worst.”

  She points to the hospital bed and I can’t help but agree. “At least I’m alive though. That was a massive shock. I really thought when that bullet was flying at me that I was dead. I assumed that he had finally won. It was awful.”

  “Thank God his shooter was shitty.”

  “Yeah, it could have been so different.”

  We pause for a moment, looking at one another and pondering how different things could have been. Clara could right now be sobbing over a corpse, wishing that her best friend was still alive.

  “So, you and Zane?” She breaks the silence and cocks an eyebrow at me.

  “Yeah… me and Zane. Another stupid choice, don’t you think?”

  “Actually, no I don’t think. He really cares about you.”

  Her words make my heart skip a beat, but I try not to get too lost. “But I’ve destroyed him.”

  “Zane is strong. You haven’t destroyed him.”

  I chew down coyly on my bottom lip before confessing the next bit. “He just told me that he loves me.”

  “Did he really?” Her eyes pop wide in shock.

  “Yes… and I said it back.”

  “Wow, that’s… that’s mad.”

  “Bad mad?”

  “No.” She shakes her head fervently. “Good mad. You need some happiness.”

  She pulls me in for a hug and I rest against her. This hospital room has turned out to be a seriously amazing place for me, I don’t want to leave it. I like it here. Zane has told me that he loves me, I said it back, Clara has said that she is happy for me…

  If I could just stay here, everything would be perfect.

  “Do you think I’m going to get out of here today?”

  “I don’t know,” Clara answers honestly. “But what are you going to do if you do?”

  “Start the fight to take Jeremy down.”

  “I know that, but where are you going to go? Are you coming back to mine or with…”?

  She looks towards the door and I know what she’s saying. She wants to know if I’m going to go back with Zane. I honestly don’t know so I don’t have anything to say to that.,

  “I’ll figure it out soon enough.”

  I hope.

  22

  Zane

  I hold onto Nova’s arm, keeping her steady as she finally gets out of her hospital bed. I know that after almost a week she’s more than keen to go, which I totally understand. I’m happy for her to leave as well, but I’m also glad that they kept her in for long enough to really be sure that she’s okay. Also, for Jeremy to finally be off the streets.

  “He’s definitely locked up, isn’t he?” she asks me anxiously. “I don’t want to run into him.”

  “Trust me, he’s gone. There’s no chance of you ever seeing him again.”

  “Good.” She breathes deep, clearly trying to calm herself down. “Okay, yeah good.”

  I hold onto her shoulders and stare intensely into her eyes. “Trust me, you will be fine.”

  “I’m trying not to be nervous, but I can’t help it. I think I’ll be looking over my shoulders for a while.”

  “Well, I’ll always be the one behind you, so it’ll be my face you see.”

  “I like the sound of that.” She smiles as I rub my fingers through her hair. “I like it a lot.”

  “So, does that mean you’ll come back to stay with me?”

  My heart pounds, I wanted to ask that in a much better way, but it just sort of popped out. I can see her eyes widen in surprise, but it doesn’t look like a bad shock. Her lips curl up into a smile after a while and she nods.

  “I would love to come and stay with you for a while.”

  “I do mean move in with me… my house has been empty without you around.”

  “Don’t you think that’s a bit soon?” Her hands tighten around my waist, her body language giving away what she wants even if she hasn’t quite said it aloud.

  “I don’t. We’re in love, aren’t we? Why shouldn’t we live together?”

  She giggles nervously. “I’m just concerned because I’m not yet divorced...”

  “But you will be soon.”

  “And I ruined your life.”

  “No, you didn’t. Jeremy tried to ruin my life, and he hasn’t succeeded. The newspapers have already printed their apologies, the news is all about the bad things that he’s done at the moment, which is how I’m getting my business back on track.”

  “Is it working?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrug honestly. “But I’m having a go. I’m a tough cookie anyway. I can withstand anything.”

  I think about Dan’s warnings and how he’s now taken them back now. He’s seen how much I’m willing to withstand for Nova, and how happy she makes me. It took a long time for him to admit that I know what I’m doing, but he’s there now. That will only get better when he finally sees me and Nova together. That time will come when she’s ready.

  As for my mother… well, she’s still unsure all the way in France, but that’s okay. I’ll convince her too. She’s more concerned that me and Nova won’t last because she might only be looking for someone to help her recover from her ex. But I know that isn’t the truth and as time goes by, she will see it too.

  Maybe we will even go to visit her sometime.

  “Okay.” She eventually nods determinedly. “I will move in with you.”

  “Good, because I’ve got you some more new clothes…”

  “I haven’t paid you back for the first lot yet!”

  “This is a gift, so I don’t want you to pay me back. It’s absolutely fine.”

  She sighs and nods. “Well, I’ll take the clothes, but I will try and pay you back.”