The dragon of desire that Zane unleashed earlier today grows even larger. It takes over my body, swallowing me up whole, and I allow myself to drown in it, giving in to it without a second of resistance. This is the best I might have ever felt in my life. I don’t ever want this moment to end, I want to live it for the rest of my life. I tumble happily into the deep pit of pleasure, caving completely as he makes my body feel better than it ever has done before. I didn’t even know I could feel this way, I wasn’t sure it was possible.

  I prize my eyes open to watch Zane as he slams into me over and over again. The sounds that fly out of our mouths are guttural and animalistic, we’re like crazy freaks. He’s absolutely stunning and at this moment he’s mine. He belongs to me. I know that tomorrow he won’t, but that’s okay, this is all I want….

  “Fuck!” I bolt upright in bed, sweat slicking over my body. My pulse is racing, my body fanatical, every cell inside of me exploding with pleasure. That was too much, Zane is too much… but he isn’t even here.

  He isn’t here… that was a dream. None of that really happened…

  I try to come to terms with that as I twisted onto my side to watch the sleeping man beside me. He isn’t the man I want next to me. I don’t ever want to wake up with him, but until this divorce is done, I’m stuck with Jeremy.

  He lets out a loud snore, irritating me further. He only snores when he’s been drinking, and since there is bright red lipstick all over his shirt I guess he’s been with his latest woman. This must be a different one though because the smell isn’t Chanel number five. Poor her, whoever this one is.

  I’m also annoyed because the satisfaction was like nothing else and it wasn’t even real. My body does feel like it’s in the middle of a post orgasmic glow, but that’s just the dream flowing through me. I never had Zane’s hands on me, he never made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, he’s still just my lawyer.

  I know I can’t go to sleep now, so I slide my legs over the side and pad across the room to get a drink from the kitchen. I’m not even tired anymore, I’m all wired and alert from the dream. Even as I pour myself a glass of water, I can still sense Zane’s hands all over me, as if he really did touch me.

  How is this possible? How can that dream be more real than anything that’s ever actually happened with Jeremy? This is nuts, I’m going insane. If I’m not careful I will lose my mind before I get divorced.

  “Stop thinking about him,” I hiss quietly to myself. “He’s a lawyer, nothing more. I need him to save me. Not to… seduce me or whatever… however good it would feel.”

  I just know it would feel incredible, and that makes it even harder to push that thought away.

  6

  Zane

  “…yes, so that’s why I feel so strongly about it,” Megan says with a tone of finality. “And I believe others should too. It’s an incredibly important topic that isn’t discussed enough. It needs a platform.”

  I narrow my eyes at her, unable to believe what I’m hearing. “You’re talking about… makeup techniques.”

  “Are you suggesting that contouring isn’t important?” She cocks a brow. “You clearly have no idea.”

  I don’t even know how to answer that, I don’t think I’ve ever been out with someone who focuses on something so alien to me. Through my work, I deal with people who have actual problems, nothing related to how they look, so I don’t know how I’m supposed to turn this into something positive. Even for the sake of a double date.

  I would absolutely love to talk to Dan about something, to make this a more well-rounded conversation, but he has his tongue down his date’s throat. This is how they’ve been from the start, we might as well not even be here. It’s embarrassing. They are like horny teenagers who I can’t even bear to be in the same room as me, but I can’t escape because despite the obvious lack of connection between us, she seems to want to talk.

  “So, what’s important to you?” Megan folds her arms and glares at me. “Because men who aren’t passionate about anything are really unattractive. Like, seriously, because I don’t know what I’d talk to you about.”

  “Well, I don’t think that’s something we’re going to have to worry about, is it?”

  I try to make a joke out of it, to ease the atmosphere just a little bit, but this just winds Megan up.

  “Why not? What are you trying to say?” Her cheeks stain red. “That’s a bit presumptuous, don’t you think?”

  “I just thought…” Shit, I’m lost for words. “Well, there doesn’t seem to be much here, does there?”

  Megan looks shocked. This is so freaking weird, I don’t know what to think. “Really?”

  “I… I don’t know, do you think there is? I can’t see it going anywhere, there isn’t that… thing…”

  “You’re going to judge by one date? You have to have at least three or you can’t tell.”

  Hmm, I really don’t know if I agree with that. To me, it seems to be an instant thing. I don’t always know if I’m going to like someone but there has to be somewhat of a connection. There isn’t one here.

  “I don’t know.” I bolt upright, needing an escape. “I’m going to order some more drinks, okay?”

  Megan pouts out her plump fake lips to me, furrowing her thick eyebrows. She’s had so much work done, which is very normal in Vegas, but not for me. I don’t know how Dan thought this would go well. He must be blind to what I really like. Maybe he didn’t think about me at all. This is more likely all about him.

  “Yeah, I’ll have some wine if you’re getting something. Maybe get a bottle for us all.”

  I rush, needing to breathe away from this nightmare situation. I race to the bar, just to hear a loud booming voice echoing from the other side of the room. A voice I knew well but has now become that of a stranger….Jeremy Bishop.

  “I will get you all a drink, girls, you don’t need to worry.” He sounds happy and friendly, nothing like the man I know him. “Of course, I can afford it, you do know who I am, don’t you?”

  His obnoxious arrogant tone gets the girls around him giggling wildly. It’s the typical scene to witness in a bar. Normally I wouldn’t even bat an eyelid, but today I know that he has a scared wife at home. Someone more beautiful than he deserves. It makes me very angry to know the truth.

  Turn away, I convince myself. Don’t look at him. Don’t get involved now. Pretend he isn’t even here.

  “I think you have to be the most beautiful women that I’ve ever seen in my life.”

  Just ignore it. All you can do is help Nova. You don’t need to get into it right now. Leave him the hell alone.

  “Come here and give me a kiss.”

  My fist squeezes tightly, all I want to do is smack him, but thankfully before I can do anything stupid which will put me in a position where I can’t help Nova, I take out my cell phone instead. I need evidence to get her away from him and smacking him won’t do that. Getting a picture of him kissing someone else is better.

  I must be discreet, it isn’t the easiest, but I sneak a picture with his mouth on someone else’s. Another, much younger, woman. I don’t imagine she’s over the age of nineteen. Same age as Nova was when he married her. I suppose this could easily be explained away as just a friendly thing, but it will be combined with so much more.

  I head back to the table, my head absolutely buzzing with new ideas now for Nova…

  “Where are the drinks?” Megan demands as soon as she spots me. “I need a refill.”

  I completely forgot what I was doing in the heat of the moment. “Oh, I’m sorry, I have to go.”

  “You can’t leave. That’s so rude! This is a date.”

  “I know, I’m sorry but it’s work. I have to get back to it.” I drop a note on the table to cover the cost of some of the drinks. “Tell Dan I will see him later, okay? This is very important.”

  I can hear Megan calling after me as I go, but I don’t turn back. I need to get the hell away from her before she winds me up even further. She’s never going to be for me so why waste time? Anyway, I need to get the fuck away from Jeremy before I lose my control.

  I rush home with my brain spinning. All I can think about is the beautiful blonde woman with sheer terror in those sparkling pale green eyes of hers, as she cowers away at home. He’s kissing other women and she’s afraid, it isn’t right. I know that I’m helping her, but I need things to move quicker.

  I need to speak to the only person who has a chance of understanding this. As soon as I crash through my front door, I pry open my laptop and hit the video call icon. I need to see Mom as I speak to her.

  “Hello, son.” She looks tired. I think I might have woken her up, but she always answers my call. “You okay?”

  “Oh, sorry, Mom. It’s only about eight AM there, isn’t it?”

  “It’s okay. I wasn’t asleep. I was just getting up for some breakfast. You look harassed.” She runs her fingers through her hair, trying to calm her bed head down a bit. “You want to talk to me about it?”

  “Yeah, I do if you don’t mind. I want to talk a bit about a case I’m working on.”

  “The charity one?” I nod agreeably. “Okay, but don’t say too much.”

  “I know, I can’t, but I can speak in vague terms, can’t I? So, there’s this woman who I’ve been working with who is incredibly vulnerable. She grew up in care and doesn’t have any biological family, which is how she ended up getting sucked into this marriage. Someone who seemed like a nice guy on the surface.”

  “Yes, that’s the sort of women those monsters’ pry on. The women they should avoid.”

  “Right, exactly. And I guess it’s the typical story that he turned on the charm at first, then turned into an asshole. Nasty to her, emotionally abusive, yelling all the time, frightening her…”

  “Physically abusive?” Mom demands, needing the full picture.

  “A bit. Nothing like you suffered, but I guess it could end up heading down that route.”

  “It always starts small and ends up in a nightmare. Every story that I’ve heard follows that pattern.”

  “Right, and he cheats on her a lot too. She told me that, and I also saw him kissing another woman at a bar tonight. I snapped a picture of him kissing for evidence…”

  “You know this husband?”

  “I don’t know him, but I am aware of him from the business scene.”

  “Isn’t that a bit…?” She screws up her nose. “Unethical? That doesn’t feel… right to me.”

  “I have to help her, Mom. You don’t understand. She needs help and only I can give it.”

  “Why you? There are plenty of good lawyers in the city. It doesn’t have to be you at all.”

  “Yes, but they don’t all work in the charity sector as well. I need it to be me,”

  Mom glares at me for a few moments, which is a little unnerving. I can’t drag my eyes away from her little slightly pixelated face. I can almost feel her gaze burning right into my core. Mom knows me far too well…

  “You like her,” she finally announces decisively. “Which is a very dangerous territory.”

  “Like her?” Now it’s my turn to look confused. “What do you mean?”

  “You like her. You’re attracted to her. That’s why you want to help so badly.”

  “I want to help because she needs it. Not for any other reason…”

  “Just be aware that she’s very vulnerable right now. She might seek out comfort, but it isn’t up to you to give it. You’re her lawyer and nothing more. Don’t overstep any boundaries. Look after yourself as well.”

  I roll my eyes. “Mom, I’m not going to. I never will. I work with women all the time.”

  “I don’t know… with this one, you seem different. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “You can’t even see my eyes through the screen. You’re going crazy, Mom.”

  Honestly, why do I ever think that it’s a good idea to talk to her? If she’s not badgering me about getting a girlfriend, she’s telling me to stay away from someone that I have no intention of being with.

  “I can see you well enough, don’t forget I know you, Zane.”

  “Right, well I shall remain professional, okay? You don’t have anything to worry about. I promise you.”

  “I’m just concerned about the lawyer business that you worked so hard to build up. You practically came from nothing. It isn’t worth throwing anything away for. Even feelings, okay?”

  “I know, Mom. I’m not going to wreck what I have. I understand. I don’t intend to screw anything up.”

  She hasn’t really given me any advice. She just warned me away from something that was never going to happen. Still, it feels like I have a weight off my chest, just listening to her speak.

  We chat for some more time, steering away from the tricky topic of work until it’s natural for us to end the conversation. As I hang up and close the laptop, I slide my eyes closed and sigh loudly. Mom’s words bring up a very unwelcome, yet somehow what I desperately need to see, image to mind. Nova leaning in for a kiss. Coming towards me with that gorgeous bee-stung mouth of hers that’s all natural and should really be found on a movie star. Her blonde hair whips around me and her stunning eyes close as she slides her hand onto my cheek.

  This is wrong, I know it is, even just in my mind, but as imaginary Nova kisses me, my heart damn near explodes. Maybe because it’s so wrong that it feels good, or perhaps it’s because I do feel that connection with Nova, that unexplained spark that could ignite into something incredible. If we both let it…

  7

  Nova

  This is the calm before the storm, I think as I press my hands to my hips. I can feel it brewing.

  It’s just a normal Tuesday afternoon, nothing special has happened, nothing different. I haven’t even had any communication with Zane since our appointment last week… but I can sense it. The terrified anticipation. Jeremy will be home from work soon and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a bad day. It’s just a gut feeling though…

  Ring, ring…

  My cell phone blasting out makes me jump, almost right out my skin. I’m a jittery mess and he’s not even here yet which is a bit of a nightmare. The hurricane circling above my head won’t go anywhere.

  “H… hello?” I answer with a shaky hand. I didn’t even take a moment to look at who it is.

  “Nova? Is everything okay? You sound really freaked out. Has something happened?”

  “Oh, Clara, it’s you.” I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m just about to head to the airport.”

  “Airport?” I rub my forehead hard. “Sorry, have I missed something?”

  “Me and Kem are away for two weeks for our anniversary, don’t you remember?”

  “Oh, of course. You’re going to New York, aren’t you?” Relief floods me as I remember what’s going on here. “Sorry, I’ve been quite spaced out recently with everything what is going on.”

  “Yeah, well that’s why I’m calling you. I don’t want to go if you won’t be okay.”

  “You are going,” I insist. “You’ve had this trip booked for months and months.”

  “I know, but I didn’t know you were going to take this bold step then, did you?”

  “You’re only going to be away for two weeks. Nothing dramatic will happen then.”

  “I know, but I don’t like the sound of you all freaked out. I don’t want to leave.”

  “You have to leave, I promise you that I’ll be fine.”

  She remains silent for a moment and I can tell that she’s genuinely not wanting to do this, which is mental. There’s being a good friend to someone then there’s putting your whole life on hold for someone else.

  “You have to go,” I insist. “Seriously, I want you to have a good time. You deserve this.”

  “I’m only a plane ride away, so if you need me, give me a call.”

  I can’t see any scenario in which I will do that to ruin her time away, but I’m sure she can’t relax until I agree, so I do. “I will ring you at the first sign of needing you, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. You have a nice time, okay?”

  “I will, but only if I know that you’ll keep in touch with me.”

  “Of course. Anything dramatic happens and I’ll let you know.” The door slams open, it’s time to stop this nice moment and hang up before Jeremy gives her something to worry about. “Right, well I’ll speak soon.”

  “Okay, love you, Nova, bye! I’ll see you when I get back...”

  I hang up quickly and stand to attention, almost like I’m in the army waiting for the Sargent to appear to give me a bollocking for something that I haven’t even done wrong. I stiffen my spine even more as he saunters into the kitchen with that nasty looking sneer playing on his mouth. It looks like my gut is right.

  “Oh, fucking hell, there you are.” He stares at me like I’m dirt. “Never anywhere else, are you?”

  “You… you don’t want me to be anywhere else… I thought you wanted me to be at home all the time.”

  “Oh sure. I want you here getting under my fucking feet all the time, just what every man wants.”

  “I’m sorry, I can go…” I want to go, I don’t want to be here with him.

  “Yeah, fuck off. Get the hell out of here. Go and see your stupid slaggy mate.”

  I really hate the way he talks about Clara, but I know it isn’t about her. He just doesn’t like her because I refuse to let her go no matter what. She will always be my friend and it doesn’t matter how much he wants to isolate me. I won’t tell Jeremy that she’s going away for two weeks. He will get a deep thrill out of that.

  “Okay, yeah, I’ll go.” I push past him and race up the stairs two at a time. My heart races, my ragged breaths fly out of my mouth, my head spins desperately as I want to end this mess.

  “What the fuck do you think you’re doing, Nova, you twat?” he yells up the stairs.

  “I’m just…” I wipe a stray tear away. “Just gathering up my stuff to go.”