“Poppy wasn’t the only one summoned,” Casteel stated. “Kieran’s presence and mine were also requested.”

  Valyn stilled. “All three of you—the King, the Queen, and the Advisor to the Crown?”

  “Actually,” Attes began, “that is not what was said.”

  The blade ceased spinning, and Casteel’s gaze shot to Attes. “I was there.”

  “Then you know what was said. Penellaphe was requested.”

  “Poppy,” I corrected, this time with a sigh.

  “And?” Kieran stated.

  “And your presence and his was tacked on,” Attes said. “The words were that he’d love it if you joined her. That is not a direct invitation.”

  “Not to sound repetitive, but…” Casteel paused. “And?”

  “It means none of the rules the Fate’s presence should guarantee applies to you or him,” Attes shared. “As you two were not summoned. She was.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath.

  “And?” Casteel repeated with a tight-lipped smile.

  “Is that the only word you can speak now?” Attes snapped.

  “I have a whole vocabulary of words I could be using, but they’d be wasted,” Casteel replied. “Whether or not these protections—ones you’re not even sure will extend to Poppy—cover us doesn’t matter.”

  “We’re going,” Kieran finished.

  Tension crept into every muscle as my fingers twisted together. None of the protections… Gods, was that not confirmation of what I’d known the moment Kolis said he’d love for them to attend?

  “Casteel,” his father started.

  “I don’t want to hear it.” Casteel started flipping the blade again.

  “I know you don’t.” His father wasn’t swayed. My eyes met Attes’s. “But in no situation should the three highest-ranking members be present for such a meeting.”

  “The three of us were present for the battle at the Bone Temple,” Casteel pointed out.

  “That’s different,” Valyn said, his voice steady.

  “Is it?” Kieran asked. “Because it makes no sense.”

  A muscle ticked in Valyn’s temple.

  “Besides.” Casteel shifted, slouching slightly. “The kingdom would not be without guidance. Vonetta is here.”

  Vonetta’s stare darted between the three of us. She looked like she was about to speak but thought twice about it.

  Valyn took a deep breath. “I strongly advise that you not do this.”

  “You can advise all you want.” His thick lashes lifted as he pierced his father with a look that held a warning. “It won’t change anything.”

  “No.”

  The table fell silent again.

  Then Casteel’s neck turned. “What?”

  “I said no.” I spoke louder. “If you two accompany me, you will not leave.”

  The dagger halted between two fingers.

  That wasn’t the only reason they couldn’t go, but it was the main reason. I knew I had to get close to Kolis. That meant going along with his…desires to an extent, despite what Seraphena had said. And that would never happen with either of them there.

  Kieran leaned forward. “Poppy—”

  “There is no other reason for why he would’ve phrased the summons like he did.”

  “Pretty sure I just made it clear that whether the protection extends to us or not doesn’t matter,” Casteel replied, his tone flat.

  “I know, but…” I looked at Attes. “What happens if I make a move against Kolis to defend either of them?”

  “You will be…put in a time-out,” he answered.

  “Time-out?” Emil repeated under his breath.

  I inhaled through my nose. “Which means, he can harm the two of you, and if I intervene, I will be punished—and I will intervene.”

  “He won’t get a chance to harm us,” Casteel stated.

  I stared at him. “I don’t think you’ve been listening—”

  “I’ve been listening,” he interrupted. “If these rules don’t protect us, they also don’t apply to us.”

  My gaze flicked to Attes.

  He nodded. “He would be correct.”

  “That still doesn’t change things,” I said, untangling my fingers. “I don’t know Kolis well, but I know enough. He’ll goad you—both of you.”

  “He will,” Attes confirmed.

  “And he’ll say things that…” Pressing my lips together, I rose, unable to stay seated. “He’ll say things that you will react to.”

  Casteel’s gaze followed me as I moved behind the chair. “You think I don’t know that?”

  “I think you do—both of you.” I glanced at Kieran, who’d gone quiet. “But I also think it’s completely different once you hear him.”

  “When did you hear him?” Vonetta asked.

  “Before you…woke up for real?” Delano questioned, earning a confused look from her.

  “No.” I exhaled roughly. “It’s a long story. I’ll have to tell you all later. But trust me, he will say stuff to provoke a response.”

  “How about instead of asking them to trust you,” Casteel said, his voice low, “you trust us to keep our cool?”

  “I do trust you, but—”

  “There should be no but following that statement,” he cut in.

  I gripped the back of the chair. “You don’t understand, Cas.”

  “I don’t understand,” Malik chimed. “Yeah, again. But why wouldn’t you want them there? Why would you argue to go alone?”

  “She won’t be alone,” Attes said. “I will go with her.”

  A muscle flexed in Casteel’s jaw.

  “And that would be allowed?” Malik asked.

  “It was not requested that she go alone.”

  Malik’s gaze moved between us. “This still doesn’t sound wise to me.”

  “I’m not going there just to listen to whatever nonsense Kolis has to say.” I turned and stepped off the dais. “I’m going to kill him.”

  Naill twisted in his chair to face me. “Wouldn’t that be in direct violation of the rules?”

  “That’s the point.” One of them. “The Fate will put me in…a time-out.” The edges of the tunic snapped at my knees as I began to pace. “I’ll survive that, right?”

  Attes didn’t turn around. “You’re a true Primal of Life and Death. I don’t even know if a Fate can kill you. At least, not one.”

  Oh.

  I hadn’t even considered that.

  “But you’ll likely end up in stasis…for a time,” he finished.

  The sharp rise of eather came from where I had been seated, both icy and hot.

  “I don’t see the point in this conversation,” Casteel stated.

  “What would you do the moment the Fate moves to put me in stasis?” I demanded to the back of his head. “Would you allow it?”

  Casteel didn’t respond.

  I looked at Kieran. “You?”

  He stared at me with an almost desperate look in his eyes. “Poppy—”

  “Neither of you would allow it,” I interrupted. “I don’t know if they can kill either of you, but I do know you would attack them. And I cannot—I refuse—to allow that.”

  “You refuse?” Casteel’s voice was soft.

  “Yes. I refuse.” I made another pass between the pillars. “The last thing I need to worry about is what is going to happen to you while I’m there to kill the true Primal of Death.”

  “And what if there is no Fate?” Casteel shot back. “What if this is just a trap?”

  My stomach dove. “That’s…possible. But he won’t kill me.”

  “How can you say that?” Vonetta asked.

  “Because I can. I know.” I kept moving as the eather thrummed in my chest. “I’ll have to—”

  “Explain it later?” Delano finished, his brows raised.

  “Yes. Later. After I deal with the asshole,” I said.

  Emil frowned as he leaned forward. “You guys did the Joining, right?”

  I inhaled deeply, really wishing that hadn’t been brought up with Casteel’s father present. “Yes,” I clipped, refusing to look in Valyn’s direction.

  “Then even if Kolis attacks one of them—”

  “Death by Kolis’s hand or by his will severs any bond,” I stated, and for the third time, the table went silent. “They will have no protection.”

  “That doesn’t matter,” Casteel stated.

  “It does.” I stopped behind him. “The point is, I will survive—”

  “The point is you think we won’t be able to control ourselves,” Casteel bit out. “Or is it just me you think won’t be able to, even if it jeopardizes you?”

  My brows snapped together. “That’s not what I’m saying.”

  “That’s exactly what you’re saying—what you’ve been saying,” Casteel fired back. “You don’t trust that I will do the right thing.”

  Air hitched in my lungs. “And I don’t understand now, just like I didn’t understand before, why you would say that.”

  Casteel didn’t respond.

  “Can you explain it?” I asked, my heart thumping.

  “I’m sure Kieran can.”

  “What?” My gaze shot to Kieran. He shook his head, his eyes closing. “What are you talking about?”

  Nothing but silence ensued as everyone began shifting uncomfortably in their seats.

  “Casteel,” I said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you have to understand—”

  “As I said,” he interrupted. “I understand perfectly.”

  “What do you understand?” I demanded, my patience wearing thin as unease and anxiety bloomed. “And how about you actually turn around and look at me when you explain it?”

  “I understand,” he stated. With a charge of eather, the bloodstone dagger vanished in a ripple of shadowy essence streaked with crimson.

  “Gods,” muttered Vonetta.

  “I understand,” he repeated, rising to face me, “that you do not believe I’m capable of doing what is needed, no matter what that might be—no matter how hard or difficult it could be.”

  My confusion continued to rise as I looked at him. “I’m really not following.”

  “Let me ask you something, Poppy.” Casteel walked onto the step. “If you felt like you couldn’t control your power, if you felt yourself becoming unstable, would you come to me?”

  “I think this meeting should be adjourned,” I thought I heard Kieran suggest, but my heart was pounding too loud to be sure as I stared at Casteel.

  He came down the last step. “Would you trust that I could keep you level? That I would be able to stop you from losing control?”

  My chest stuttered. “Yes,” I whispered.

  Casteel inhaled sharply. “That’s a lie, Poppy.”

  “No, it’s not—”

  “If it was true, you never would’ve,” he cut in, slicing his hand through the air, “asked Kieran to be the one to put you in the ground.”

  CHAPTER 53

  POPPY

  Horror exploded in my chest as I stared up at him, frozen to where I stood.

  Casteel held my gaze, the lines and angles of his face impossibly harsh as things…everything started to click together.

  His doubt when I’d said I knew I could come to him.

  His comments about me trusting him.

  How Kieran and he interacted—or didn’t. The distance between them. The tension.

  Oh, gods.

  He’d learned what I’d made Kieran promise.

  “Everyone needs to leave.” Chair legs screeched over the stone as Kieran stood. “Everyone out. Now.”

  I didn’t know if everyone listened or how fast they left. It was only when Kieran appeared behind Casteel that I found my ability to speak.

  “How…how did you find out about that?”

  “It was when you were under Kolis’s influence,” Kieran answered. “In a moment when you had control, you summoned me.”

  “Oh, my gods.” I stepped back, wiping my damp palms down the sides of my tunic.

  Casteel remained silent, his lips pressed together.

  “And asked me to fulfill my promise,” Kieran finished.

  “I don’t remember.” I took several more steps back, my gaze moving between them. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

  “It wasn’t my—”

  “Not you,” I stopped Kieran. “Cas, why didn’t you talk to me?”

  Eather flashed in Casteel’s eyes. “Why did you think I couldn’t handle it? How could you—?” His voice thickened and filled with pain. “How could you ask him to do that?”

  My heart cracked at the sound of his voice. “You weren’t there. You were being held captive.”

  “It’s more than that. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t be having this conversation,” he said. “You wouldn’t be asking me to stay back because you don’t think I can handle myself.”

  “That has nothing to do with it. You know you wouldn’t just stand by as Kolis says some of the most disgusting things you can im—”

  “What things?” His eyes narrowed on me. “What did he say to you through that fucking Revenant?”

  “It doesn’t matter—”

  “See! Right there. You’re showing exactly how much you trust me.”

  “It has nothing to do with you! I don’t want to think about what he said, let alone repeat it.”

  Casteel went quiet.

  Drawing in a too-short breath, I stepped toward him. “What I asked Kieran to do had nothing to do with me not trusting or believing in you. It had everything to do with me not wanting to put you in a situation I knew would destroy you.”

  “And you thought it wouldn’t destroy Kieran?” he fired back.

  I looked at Kieran. He had sat on the edge of one of the armchairs between the balcony doors and the table. “No,” I whispered. “I made a choice. And I…chose you.”

  “Sounds like you chose the exact opposite.”

  “Fucking gods,” Kieran muttered, staring at his hands. “You’re being a fucking idiot right now.”

  Casteel barked out a harsh laugh.

  “It’s not funny.” Kieran looked up. “I told you that you needed to talk to her. If I’d known it would turn out this way, I would’ve kept my mouth shut.”

  “Something you’re clearly good at,” Casteel retorted.

  Kieran rolled his eyes.

  My heart cracked as I stared at them. I’d never heard them speak to each other like this. And I’d done that—to them. To us.

  “Cas.” I reached for him, my hands trembling. “I’m—”

  “Don’t.” Casteel moved back, his jaw clenched.

  My heart didn’t just crack then. It nearly broke as I lowered my hands. I felt the burn of tears crawling up my throat and folded my arms across my waist.

  Casteel blinked several times and looked away. “I thought you knew,” he said, his voice rough. Raw. “That I would do everything to keep you safe, even from yourself.”

  “I do know that,” I swore. “But if I lost control, you wouldn’t have had time to stop me. You have to remember this was before the Joining. Before what we’ve become.”

  “And now?” His gaze returned to me. “What’s your excuse for now? For thinking I can’t handle myself with Kolis or the Fates?”

  “Because I know you would do anything to keep me safe. You would not be able to—”

  “Stop myself?”

  “Am I wrong?” I asked.

  “You’re not,” Kieran stated. “And that’s his problem.”

  “Shut up,” Casteel growled.

  I looked between them. Was it? Possibly, but it wasn’t only that. I had messed up. I never should’ve asked Kieran—no, I’d needed to make sure someone knew when to step in. What I should’ve done was tell Casteel. I had ample time. And I never should’ve made Kieran keep it a secret from Cas. It didn’t matter that I thought I was protecting their relationship. Intentions meant so very little when things went wrong. It was something I knew.

  But he also had to know his limits.

  “It wasn’t easy for me to ask that of Kieran,” I told him, swallowing. “He didn’t want to agree. He wasn’t happy about it. And I shouldn’t have asked him not to tell you. I should’ve told you.” My chest ached. “I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry. I never meant—” I squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head as I turned away. I reopened my eyes to see that the sky had darkened beyond the balcony doors. “I never meant for you to feel this way. For me to make you feel this way. I was wrong.” I whirled back around. “And I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that.”

  That muscle in his jaw was throbbing again as he looked away.

  “But you’re also wrong.”

  His gaze shot back to me.

  “You need to recognize that you have limits for what you can and can’t do—limits that I love you even more for,” I said. “You need to stop…”

  “Stop what?”

  Part of me wanted to apologize again. Do and say whatever was needed for things to return to normal—if things could. And, gods, that thought didn’t just terrify me. It threatened to break me. But I needed to say this because this wasn’t only on me.

  It wasn’t on him or Kieran.

  It just was.

  “I know I’ve hurt you, and I hate,”—my throat scratched with the force of that word—“that. I know I fucked up.”

  “Poppy.” Kieran turned his head toward me.

  “No. It’s true,” I said, meeting Casteel’s eyes. “And you need to stop lying to yourself.”

  His lips parted.

  “You cannot go with me tomorrow. This doesn’t change that.” I pressed my hands together. “Nor does it mean I don’t trust you. All it means is that I will not risk you—either of you.”

  He turned sideways and stared at the wall for what felt like a small eternity. “You agree with this?”

  “No,” Kieran answered. “But she’s right. Our presence will be a distraction, and neither of us will allow the Fates to harm her.”

  Casteel’s jaw rolled as he shook his head. “That’s bullshit.”

  “Cas,” Kieran said. “It’s what she meant about lying to yourself.”

  His hands twitched at his sides as he turned back toward me. “You are risking yourself and demanding that I accept it.”

  Blinking back tears, I said, “He won’t kill me.”