“Technically, since you are the Queen, you should not be endangering yourself,” Kieran replied. “But this is…different,” he said, speaking the last word with a heavy emphasis only Casteel and I understood.

  I stiffened. “It’s not.”

  “It is,” Casteel said quietly. His chest rose as he took a breath.

  I took a deep breath, but it didn’t help with the irritation. I placed my drink on the table before I did something reckless and childish, like throw it at one of them. “Actually, you’re both right. It is different.”

  “Glad you’re using common sense,” Casteel remarked.

  “And because it’s different,” I said, “it has to be me.”

  His finger stopped tapping. “Forget what I said about common sense.”

  “Already did,” I retorted.

  “Clearly.”

  I looked away before I knocked him out of his chair.

  Tawny raised her brows. “Your eyes are almost glowing,” she noted, head cocking as she studied me. “It’s pretty…and freaky.”

  “It’s—” I jerked forward. “My eyes!”

  “Your eyes?” Tawny repeated, glancing toward Kieran and Casteel like they knew why I’d shouted that. “Is there something wrong with them?”

  “What do they look like to you?” I leaned in close to Tawny and then stood, bending toward Delano, who grinned at me. “What colors are they?”

  “Uh, colors? They’re green and…” Curls fell back as Tawny straightened her head. “Silver.”

  “Streaks of silver,” Delano added.

  “That’s all you see?” I asked. Both of them nodded. I twisted toward Casteel and Kieran. “And you guys?”

  Kieran frowned. “I see what I did before.”

  “Same,” Casteel told me.

  “Is there a reason you’re asking?” Delano asked.

  Confusion rose. Why would they not see what Casteel and Kieran—? The answer suddenly came to me. “Uh, no…” I smiled. “I was just curious if you could still see the streaks of eather.”

  That is not why you asked, Casteel’s voice reached me.

  They can’t see the colors, I responded as Kieran watched Cas and me. Pausing, I brought him into the conversation. Only the Arae—the Ancients—the true Primal of Life, and the true Primal of Death can. And Deminyen Primals. The others don’t have enough essence in them to see them.

  Casteel smiled. Well, aren’t we special?

  I rolled the eyes we’d been talking about. “Anyway, back to what we were discussing. I should—”

  “Poppy,” Naill said, drawing my gaze to him. “No one here is going to agree to you going to Pensdurth alone.”

  “I second that,” Tawny tossed out, causing me to stare at her. She frowned. “Don’t look at me like I’m a traitor. I’m not going to agree to you shadowhopping—”

  “Shadowstepping,” Reaver corrected.

  “Whatever.” Tawny flung a hand up, silencing Reaver. The draken’s brows flew up, and he looked positively affronted by her gesture. “I’m not going to agree with you going to an area where a murderous Primal of Death might be hanging out,” she continued. “It’s reckless and dangerous, and for me to say something is reckless, you know it has to be.”

  “It is dangerous,” Delano commented. I was surprised that he hadn’t disappeared under the table by now. “We don’t know what’s happening there.”

  “And you are the very last person who should be anywhere near Pensdurth,” Casteel stated.

  “I’d likely be the safest going anywhere near there,” I argued. “Neither of you”—I gave both Cas and Kieran a pointed look—“can go. For a multitude of reasons.”

  Casteel clenched his jaw so hard I thought he might break a molar. Kieran just crossed his arms.

  “She’s right,” Reaver stated.

  My breath hitched as I looked at him.

  “Out of everyone in this chamber or realm, she would be the safest.” He finished off the last of my fish. “Relatively speaking.”

  “Because she’s a badass Primal god now?” Tawny asked.

  Before I could say anything, I felt Casteel lean forward. “You did know,” he said to the draken, and the temperature in the chamber dropped.

  My heart started pounding as Reaver’s eyes met mine. “I always knew,” he said. “Not everything, but the basics.”

  I looked away, having no idea what to say to that. Or what to think. How to feel.

  Across from us, Emil frowned. “Why do I feel like I’m missing a very important part of this conversation?”

  “Agreed,” Malik muttered, his gaze flicking between us.

  “Son of a bitch,” Casteel snarled.

  I turned to him. His flesh…had begun to thin.

  “Oh, shit.” Emil straightened. “Is he about to shift? I don’t want my day to end almost being eaten.”

  “Well, now I have even more questions,” Tawny murmured once more from around the rim of her glass.

  I had no idea how I could quickly explain it, but I wasn’t worried about him shifting into a cave cat. As tiny bumps erupted on my skin, I was more worried about him going full Primal.

  “Did it, at any point, occur to you to tell us?” Casteel demanded, tendrils of shadowy eather piercing the whites of his eyes. “That having that piece of information might’ve been helpful?”

  “He has a point,” I whispered, reaching under the table to place my hand on Casteel’s leg.

  “I couldn’t.” Reaver took a drink.

  “Bullshit,” Kieran snapped.

  “It’s not bullshit.” He set his glass down. “I was sworn to keep my mouth shut.”

  “By who?” I demanded.

  “Nyktos.”

  My mouth dropped open.

  “How?” Kieran leaned forward. “You were still asleep when he was awake.”

  “That wasn’t the only time he was awake,” Reaver said. And he was right. Nyktos had said he’d been awake on and off. “And he was already awake when we were awakened. I spoke with him before I left Iliseeum. And you don’t disobey Nyktos.”

  “Why?” I asked, unable to understand why they wouldn’t want me to know as soon as possible. “Why would he demand that of you?”

  “He wanted Seraphena to be with you when…” Reaver trailed off.

  He didn’t need to finish. I knew what went unsaid. Nyktos wanted Seraphena to be with me when I learned about Sotoria. That…

  I looked at Casteel, seeing his glare still fixed on Reaver. Cas?

  Jaw ticking, his gaze shifted to me.

  That makes a difference. I squeezed his knee as I opened the notam to Kieran, telling him the same. It does.

  Neither looked like they agreed, and I understood their anger. I did. Could having that information have assisted them when I was under Kolis’s influence? Maybe. Maybe not. But Reaver shouldn’t have been the one to explain any of that anyway. I would’ve had questions he likely couldn’t have answered. And—

  “Is someone going to tell the rest of us what you are all talking about?” Malik answered.

  The three of us said nothing, and an awkward silence descended as my attention shifted to Malik. My senses opened, and all I picked up from him was confusion and curiosity. If he’d known about the whole Sotoria thing, he would understand what wasn’t being said. Did that mean Millicent didn’t know?

  “Okay, then.” Malik cleared his throat. “So, I will go then.”

  “Back to this again?” Casteel snapped. The essence was calmer, but the chamber remained chilly.

  “Well, you still haven’t said why,” Malik replied.

  Casteel’s lips flattened. “I think you want to go to see if Millicent is there.”

  I coughed, spraying a fine mist of wine onto my plate.

  “You okay?” Casteel turned, placing his hand on my back.

  “Yes,” I wheezed, taking the linen cloth Tawny handed me. “You think Millicent is there?” I asked Casteel.

  A muscle tightened in his jaw. “I don’t.”

  The but went unsaid.

  Dabbing at my chin, I turned to Malik. “Do you think she’s there?”

  The muscle that ticked on his face was in his temple. “I don’t know where she is. She could be anywhere.”

  “But is there a reason she would go there?” As soon as I asked the question, the answer came to me. It wasn’t the vadentia. It was my common sense Casteel had believed wasn’t present.

  Kolis could call upon the Ascended and the Revenants—summon them. It would be like a compulsion. They were his creations. “Have there been any reports of the Ascended attempting to escape? Like trying to do so without the ability to stop?”

  “Some have tried, especially those with dwindling stockpiles,” Naill answered with a curl of his lip. “But not like they seemed unable to stop themselves.”

  That brought me a little relief, even though it didn’t mean he hadn’t summoned the Revenants. If he had, would it even apply to Millicent since she wasn’t exactly a Revenant? I didn’t know. But I knew Malik worried it would. One look at him, and I felt it coating his skin. If she’d gone there, it had to be because she had no choice. I couldn’t believe the same person who stood by the Ascended as they met the sun would willingly join up with Kolis.

  But I now understood Casteel’s refusal to send Malik. He knew Malik would stay if Millicent was there, and it would likely end in his death.

  Casteel was trying to protect his brother.

  “We need to give Thad and the others until the morning,” Kieran said, eyeing the bottle of wine Emil had a death grip on. “Let’s table the discussion regarding Pensdurth until then.”

  There were murmurs of agreement, and then our Shadow Council pretty much scattered from the Solar. Tawny was the last to stand. Casteel had tracked Malik’s movements and still stared at the doors.

  “You should talk to him,” Kieran suggested as he stood. “Make sure he doesn’t do anything idiotic.”

  Casteel gripped the arm of his chair. “And you think he’ll listen to me?”

  Kieran sighed. “Good point.”

  “Perhaps you should both speak with him,” I suggested. “To make sure he doesn’t do anything.”

  “Good idea.” Tawny plopped back down. “Then Poppy and I can have some alone time.”

  Casteel’s gaze swept over us. “Why do I feel like that would be a bad idea?”

  “You probably think everything is a bad idea,” she retorted, reaching for the wine with a tilt of her head. “You probably only enjoy bad ideas.”

  “Go,” I urged before Casteel could respond to that. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He hesitated.

  “She’s not.” Tawny topped off my glass and then hers. “I will attach myself to her like a tree bear.”

  “That won’t be necessary,” I told her.

  “We shall see.”

  Casteel exhaled, briefly glancing at Kieran and then me. Poppy…

  I’m not going to run off to Pensdurth, I assured him.

  Promise me.

  The hand resting in my lap curled into a fist. I promise.

  And I wouldn’t break that promise. At least not tonight. But if we heard nothing by tomorrow? I would go.

  He hesitated for a handful of seconds and then bent forward to cup my cheek, his lips brushing over mine. “Behave.”

  Tawny snorted.

  Pushing back from his chair, he stood. “Let’s go talk to my brother.”

  Kieran walked around the table and stopped at my side. He stood there silently for a moment as Casteel stepped off the platform.

  I peeked up at him.

  He waited.

  I sighed. “I’m not going anywhere. I swear.”

  “You’d better not,” he said, squeezing the back of my neck.

  Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. Kieran nodded at Tawny and joined Casteel.

  The moment the door closed behind them, Tawny looked at me. “I half-expected Kieran to kiss you before he left.”

  “I’m not even going to respond to that,” I muttered, picking up my glass.

  Tawny giggled. “I thought the Da’Neer brothers were about to engage in fisticuffs.”

  “Fisticuffs?”

  Her head bobbed. “Are your suppers always that entertaining?”

  My thoughts flashed to the one in New Haven when Casteel had announced his intention to marry me. “They can be even more…entertaining.”

  Her eyes widened. “Do tell?”

  “Sometimes, people start their suppers with their hearts in their chest.” I took a drink of the sweet wine. “And end them missing said heart and dead.”

  “Oh.” Tawny looked away. “Wow.”

  I smiled.

  “So.” Tawny drew out the word. “You going to tell me what Nyktos forbade Reaver from telling you?”

  My grip tightened on the glass.

  “If not, I’m going to be offended, and you know how I get when I’m offended,” she added. “It will probably end with one or both of us not behaving. Then Casteel will never leave you alone with me.” She turned in her chair, flashing the widest eyes possible. “Do you want to be responsible for that?”

  I shot her a bland look.

  “And do you want to stress me out?” she tacked on.

  “How am I stressing you out?”

  “Because I know something is stressing you out. Except for the whole Ascended business, you were weirdly quiet and, I don’t know, still throughout dinner. And you’re never still.”

  I frowned.

  “I have a feeling that whatever made you quiet has to do with what wasn’t said. How do I know? Because after Reaver said he always knew, you went quiet and still again.”

  Inhaling a deep, slow breath, I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I…” A hoarse laugh parted my lips. “It’s going to sound impossible.”

  “Good thing I believe in the impossible,” she replied. “I mean, look at me. How can I not?”

  I did look at her. I knew I should take this time to tell her what I’d done to her—why she believed in the impossible. But when I spoke, it wasn’t about that. “Do you know the legend of Sotoria?”

  CHAPTER 44

  POPPY

  What was I doing?

  No answer came to me as I stood with my eyes closed, the unseasonably cool breeze tugging at some strands of hair that had escaped my braid.

  I’d asked myself that a hundred times since Casteel left to see if any word had come from his father or the others at Pensdurth and to speak with his brother more regarding our new plans surrounding the Ascended. He’d asked if I wanted to go with him.

  I politely declined and came here.

  Though I didn’t know why. As Queen, I should be checking with him. Guilt churned.

  Casteel had hesitated when I said no, and I knew he wanted to ask if I was okay. As Tawny would say, I’d been quiet and still this morning.

  But she took over that role last night when I told her about Sotoria. She was shocked and disturbed, even though she tried not to show it. Who wouldn’t be?

  I hadn’t thought to ask Casteel about Malik, and if he had convinced him not to go to Pensdurth, and as a wife—his partner—I should have. That added to the roiling my stomach was doing. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I did. The very last thing I wanted was for Malik to run off and get himself killed. And I was worried he had a reason to: That Kolis had summoned the Revenants, and Millicent had gone, unable to resist his influence. My chest squeezed so tight it felt like no air could get in.

  I didn’t know why I hadn’t shared any of that with Casteel as he’d rooted through the bowl of sugary fruit, picking out the unbruised strawberries and putting them on my plate. It had been on my mind but so had everything else.

  Maybe the everything else was why I was here.

  Opening my eyes to the overcast skies, I breathed out, heavily and slowly, and lowered my head.

  I couldn’t believe I’d come here.

  The meadow was really just an outcropping of the Elysium Peaks, roughly positioned at a height just above the spires of the Shadow and Sun Temples and in the shadow of the mountains’ continuous rise.

  Pink and violet wildflowers dotted the grass all the way to where clusters of tall elms crowded the base of the Peaks. The blanket of pretty, delicate-looking flowers ended only a handful of feet from the edge Sotoria had fallen from.

  Where had the poppies gone?

  Or had they never grown here, and what I’d seen in stasis had been a figment of my imagination?

  Tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear, I turned slowly. It was so quiet up here. The sounds were the wind and the birds singing to one another.

  I pressed my lips together, turned to the Cliff’s edge, and began walking. The meadow was surprisingly peaceful. It didn’t feel like it should be, but it was. I tried to imagine Sotoria making her way up here to pick flowers. It must have taken the better part of a day to do so.

  I soon heard water splashing off the stone, and then the grass and wildflowers gave way to packed, rocky soil. My steps slowed and then stopped. Taking a deep breath, I looked down. Pale-gray rocks jutted out, forming small, narrow ledges between the sheer drops. Halfway down and beneath one of those ledges, white-tipped water spilled down the rocks, misting the air as it fell before vanishing into a lake as dark as a night sky. My gaze shifted to the banks of the lake, where the elms grew so thickly and abundantly, there wasn’t a single hint of the ground below. I followed the swath of trees to where Wayfair’s towers were visible.

  I didn’t feel anything.

  Just like I hadn’t when I held The Star. Perhaps that was why I’d come here—to see if I felt connected to the Cliffs. To see if being here made me feel sorrow or anger. Anything. But I didn’t feel a connection to this place. All I felt was annoyance with myself.

  If this was where I had…well, run myself off a cliff, shouldn’t I feel something?

  How embarrassing.

  I found myself staring down at the face of the Cliffs once more as I fiddled with the hooks on the vest I wore.

  Had Sotoria landed on one of those ledges below? Or had she fallen between them into the lake? Had it been quick, where she struck a hard rock at the right—or wrong—angle? Or had hitting the water killed her? The height would’ve made the impact devastating, and the fall would’ve been fast but not quick enough that she wouldn’t know what was happening—what was coming. I had to think, though, that her death had been instantaneous, giving Kolis no time to intervene. There had been no suffering.