But this wasn’t about winning anymore.

  It wasn’t even about surviving.

  I gasped as the sick bastard’s palm pressed into my injured shoulder.

  Kolis’s hand stilled. “Gods, it has been so long since I’ve heard that breathy sound coming from your lips.” The edges of his hair tickled my forehead. “It still makes me hard.”

  My body went cold.

  “Maybe I stopped loving you long before now because I don’t think causing you pain should elicit such a response,” he mused as I gritted my teeth. “But I did love you, so’lis. You ruined that.”

  Even if I could muster up the effort to tell him I didn’t give a fuck, I wouldn’t have wasted my breath.

  His face appeared above mine as he leaned over me from behind. The skin at the corners of his mouth was pinched white despite the smile. A sheen of sweat glistened on his brow.

  “By the way, you’ve always been terrible at keeping in what you’re thinking and feeling.” His palm moved away from my aching shoulder, and I immediately wished it had remained there. The curve of his lips widened. “You have tells. A slight squint of the eyes, a twitch of the fingers, a shallow swallow, a too-quick inhale.” His lips grazed the bridge of my nose. Pain rippled across my chest, causing me to inhale sharply. “Just like that.”

  Kolis moved suddenly, twisting his body so he was above me, his knees on either side of my hips. My gaze lowered to the wound in his chest. The tear in his skin remained, leaving the edges of the flesh jagged. Blood no longer poured from the wound, but it hadn’t healed, and that had to mean something.

  “You were right, you know. About what I want. At least, part of it.” His hand was moving again. “I do want you.”

  He’d said that once, and it was enough.

  “What’s inside you,” he repeated, his breath coasting over my cheek as his hand slipped under the shirt and brushed the bare skin of my stomach. “But I don’t want to destroy cities. I want what is due to me. What I am owed.” His fingers slipped lower, pulling the band of my breeches taut. I couldn’t focus on that—any of it. I wouldn’t. “However, I do want a bit more than a little senseless killing. Starting with that husband of yours. His arrogance reminds me of…” His head lifted, his gaze moving to Attes. “Not just him. Not even Kyn.” His eyes narrowed, and then he muttered something in the language of the gods as my skin crawled. He spoke it too fast and low for me to hear past the buzzing that had started in my ears. “Anyway, he will die. So will that wolf with him.”

  Fear started to slither its way through me—

  No.

  I squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn’t give in to that. I needed to stay calm. My heart pounded, though, because how the fuck was I supposed to be calm in this situation? He was going to kill me. Then, he would turn his sights on Carsodonia.

  “I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen…” His hand slipped away, delving into the hair above my braid. He jerked my head back, sending a wave of fiery pain down my spine. “And I need you to pay attention, Poppy. So, open your fucking eyes and listen, or I will make you, just as the Duke did.”

  The Duke.

  Teerman.

  For a moment, I wasn’t lying on the floor of Seacliffe Manor’s Great Hall. I was in Teerman’s favorite office with its dark walls and crimson furniture. I could feel the cold, smooth desk against the bare skin of my chest, and the even colder, smoother surface of his cherished cane against my back.

  My eyes snapped open as rage burned straight through the cold terror and pain. I met his stare.

  Kolis smirked. “I had plans for you. For him.” Streaks of midnight eather lashed across the crimson of his eyes. “I wanted to fuck you while I drained you, and I wanted him to watch.”

  My eyes didn’t squint.

  “That’s what I wanted him to see before I ended your life.” His lips parted, revealing the tips of large fangs. “I wanted the last thing he saw to be my cock slamming into you while I tore your throat out.”

  My fingers didn’t twitch.

  “You may think that’s excessive. Maybe it is.” Kolis’s lips touched mine as he spoke. “But the so-called King is arrogant and disrespectful. And you.” He bit down on my lower lip. “You are nothing more than a whore.”

  I didn’t swallow.

  “So, I’ll have to make do with telling him how you screamed for mercy as I fed from you. And you will scream, so’lis.” His tongue caught the blood on my lip. “And then, after your heart stops and I take your essence within me, I will take your soul. You know what that means, don’t you? I can bring you back. And I will.” He twisted my head to the side, baring my throat. “This won’t be the end of you, so’lis. So, you’d better not displease me. And give me what I want.”

  Kolis’s lips brushed my pulse.

  Essence sputtered and then thrummed, unfurling from the pit in my stomach. It was hot and cold but nowhere near as intense as I’d felt it before.

  “And just in case you forgot,” he whispered. “I only want your screams.”

  Eather poured into my veins.

  “This is going to hurt,” he promised.

  I lifted my arm, ignoring the pain flaring across ribs that had yet to heal whatever fractures they had in them.

  “A lot.”

  Fangs scraped my throat.

  I sank my fingers into his hair, jerking his head back. Crimson-and-black eyes locked with mine. “You will be the only one screaming.”

  His upper lip curled. “You bi—”

  I slammed my knee between his legs with enough force to squish everything there.

  The bastard didn’t scream. Not yet. He roared as he let go of my hair and reared back, cupping himself. Blood drained from his face as he started to list to the side.

  The corners of my vision turned silver and gold as I rolled my hips inward, drawing my legs up. My jaw clenched against the agony in my back and shoulder. I kicked out, planting both boots into his chest and knocking him back. He hit the floor, and I didn’t waste time. Hissing through the pain, I sprang to my feet, unleashing a bolt of pure energy, I let out a ragged breath as I stumbled. Golden light streaked with silver and faint shades of black and red arced and crackled. The essence slammed into his shoulder, sending him sliding across the floor. I knew it wasn’t enough to kill him—I knew it was probably causing me more harm than him—but I kept it up, channeling everything I had in me into it.

  Kolis writhed on the floor, his back bowing as Primal mist spilled out of him, a thin, churning mass of crimson and black that quickly faded. When I felt the eather pulsing and flickering inside me, I let go and extended my hand. Conjuring the image of the dagger I’d seen Attes holding, I used what was left of the essence.

  A heartbeat later, the bone dagger smacked against my palm. Stalking forward as he rose to his knees, I drove mine into the side of his head. He went down again, and I followed, pressing my boot into what was left of his balls.

  I wasn’t escaping.

  I was going to die by Kolis’s hands, breaking the bond forged by the Joining. I didn’t want to die, but a sense of calmness washed over me as I dropped, aiming once more for his heart. It reminded me of Spessa’s End, when I held the blade to my throat. I hadn’t wanted to die then either, but I was ready if it meant protecting Casteel and those I had come to know and love.

  And I was ready to do it now, too.

  I just needed to fuck Kolis up enough that it would give Casteel and Kieran time to fight and save themselves and as many as they could.

  That was all that mattered now.

  I drove the dagger down with a scream, burying the dagger in his chest. Kolis grunted, his body jerking. Blood sprayed across my hands as I yanked the blade out and slammed it back down. I stabbed him over and over as a raw, hoarse sound filled my ears, and shimmering crimson coated my hands and dripped down my face. My throat ached, and that sound—the pained screaming—was coming from me as I lifted the bone dagger high once mo—

  I didn’t even see Kolis’s fist.

  I felt it, though.

  Pain exploded along the side of my head as I was flung sideways. I hit the floor and rolled until I smacked into the side of the dais. Groaning, I forced my arms to move. I pushed up onto my knees and spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor. A different sort of buzzing droned then, muting my hearing. I rocked back and started to stand—

  The floor began to tremble as my vision went in and out. Head and face throbbing, I felt the tile crack beneath my palms before I gripped the edge of the dais. Using that for support, I dragged myself upright and turned.

  What I saw standing there looked nothing like a man. Instead, it was a being that was more crimson bone and churning shadows than flesh. I wouldn’t have even known it was Kolis if not for the bloodstained white pants. My gaze lifted to the blurry image of wings behind him—wings that reminded me of a draken’s.

  Kolis was in front of me before I knew it, and something struck my chest, knocking me back against the dais again. My eyes locked with red ones that glowed with an unholy fire as I went to take a breath, but I couldn’t seem to get enough air into my throat or chest. I felt something hot and warm running down my stomach as a faint icy yet burning sensation rippled across my chest. Confused, I looked down.

  A leather-wrapped hilt jutted from the center of my chest. It wasn’t flush against my skin. A sliver of the blade was visible, revealing the dull-white of Ancient bone. Of Attes’s dagger.

  He’d stabbed me.

  The fucker had stabbed me.

  With trembling arms, I lifted my hands and gripped the hilt as I moved my gaze.

  His fleshless mouth opened wide in a grotesque smile. “Figured I owed you one.”

  “You missed,” I breathed, the taste of blood stronger. “You missed…my heart, you jackass.”

  His laugh was like dry bones. “I didn’t miss.”

  I pulled the bone dagger free—

  Kolis’s arm clamped around my waist, trapping mine as his other hand fisted my braid and yanked my head back roughly. Before I could take another breath, he struck.

  I screamed.

  I couldn’t stop it. The pain was too sudden, too shocking. I screamed as his fangs pierced the skin of my throat, tearing deep. Muscles in my body locked up as my hand opened on reflex. The dagger slipped from my fingers. I didn’t hear it fall.

  The fiery agony of his bite didn’t let up. He didn’t pull his fangs free. He kept them buried as he drank, taking long, hard swallows as he held me to his cold chest, slick with both his blood and mine.

  The eather pulsed wildly as a primitive sort of instinct took over, pushing my body past the paralyzing pain. There was no skill in my attempt to free myself. I became panic, anger, and fear. I went wild against him, kicking at his legs as I strained against his hold. Nothing worked. Nothing dislodged him. Stopped him. He kept feeding, kept taking my blood—my essence—into him, and it felt like his fangs hadn’t just pierced my skin but had lodged deep in the very core of my being. My chest rose and fell rapidly as I tried to summon the eather, but I couldn’t pull on it.

  “Stop,” I whispered, begged—or thought I did. I couldn’t be sure. It sounded like someone else was screaming it as I fought.

  The edge of the dais dug into my back as he trapped me between it and him. It didn’t matter. My legs no longer kicked. I couldn’t even feel them.

  Oh, gods.

  I couldn’t feel my hands or arms, either.

  Oh, gods, I wasn’t ready.

  I wasn’t.

  I didn’t want to die.

  I wanted to see Casteel.

  I wanted to hold Cas, tell him how much I loved him. I wanted to see Kieran, witness his rare smiles. I wanted to apologize to Tawny. I wanted to feel Delano’s soft fur as I hugged him. I wanted to get to know Millicent, my father, my grandparents. I wanted to live—to really live.

  I didn’t want to die in Kolis’s arms.

  Not again.

  But I was. I could feel the coldness of death slipping through my veins and seeping into my muscles. I felt death entrenching itself in my bones. The essence thrummed hotly in the center of my chest. The swaying lights above me dimmed and then darkened. For a brief few moments, I didn’t feel the nerve-wrecking pain. There was nothing. But it didn’t last. The agony yanked me back, and I realized I was on the floor with Kolis above me, feeding, taking. And he no longer had to hold me still.

  I concentrated on the embers of eather as I closed my eyes. I didn’t try to reach Cas through the notam. I wasn’t even sure I could because I couldn’t feel it, but I wouldn’t do that to him anyway. I didn’t want him to know for as long as possible. I wanted him to have hope, even if only for a few more minutes. So, I focused on a memory of him. That was all I could see as some soul-deep tugging motion started in my chest. It felt like hot claws digging in, but I kept the image of Casteel in my mind—one of him reclining against the headboard, his chest bare and dotted with faded scars, his skin flawed but perfect, nonetheless. His head was tilted to the side, his full lips curved in a half-grin, revealing that infuriating dimple in his right cheek. His eyes were the color of heated honey under dark lashes. He was beautiful. He was…

  My heart.

  My soul.

  My King.

  Casteel Da’Neer was my everything, and I would never stop loving him. Not in this life, whether it be my last, or if I was brought back. I would always love him. I held on to that image for as long as I could, my lips moving soundlessly, speaking three words…I love you. I love you. Over and over I spoke them as I began to shake, as the air around us charged and hissed. I love you. I love you—

  A faint shiver of awareness danced across my skin.

  I felt…something.

  Powerful.

  Cold and unyielding.

  I dragged in a shallow breath that carried the scent of fresh lilacs and…citrus. My chest froze, and my eyes fluttered open.

  My vision was fuzzy at the edges and blurred in the center, but I thought I saw a flash of intense light as the quaking inside me seemed to spread to the walls and the ceiling.

  I thought I saw movement in that light before my vision faded away, before I faded: someone standing, tall and broad-shouldered, face obscured by a helmet made of black stone. I thought I saw something else prowling forward, head low and snarling.

  I thought I saw a large wolf with fur the color of bright moonlight.

  CHAPTER 58

  CASTEEL

  The next thing I knew, I was flat on my back, staring up at the glass of the domed ceiling.

  It didn’t look right.

  The clouds. They hadn’t been there before. Dark, heavy clouds stretched across the sky, their fragmented edges tinged in…

  “Casteel,” my father’s voice boomed, snapping my gaze from the sky. He loomed over me, concern etched into his features. “There you are.”

  I felt his hand on my face then as I squeezed my eyes closed and then reopened them. “What happened?”

  Delano’s head appeared behind Father’s. Then Hisa’s. “You passed out,” Delano said, his bright-blue eyes searching mine. “For about ten minutes.”

  Ten minutes?

  “Something happened while you were out,” my father said, and I realized his face was taut, his features sharp. “There was an earthquake.”

  “It was…a large one,” Hisa said. “I don’t know the damage yet. None of us wanted to leave you.”

  An earthquake?

  I refocused on the dome. There were splinters in the glass. My gaze slid over the walls, and I saw fissures there, as well.

  “It felt like when Rhahar died,” Delano said, his voice shaky. “But worse. Longer. I thought the whole castle might come down. There was some damage to the western tower. Nothing serious.”

  My father exhaled, and a small smile appeared. “I think Poppy did what was needed.”

  What was…?

  What the fuck had just happened? Fog clouded my brain as my gaze moved back to my father’s and was slow to scatter. It took me a few moments to remember tackling Kieran. Hitting him…

  I’d suddenly gotten dizzy. My chest had felt hollow. There’d been a dull tingling in my palm.

  Poppy.

  I jackknifed off the floor, nearly knocking heads with my father. My mind screamed that she had to be okay because I was still here, but something…something was wrong. Something had happened. My heart pounded as I flipped my hand.

  The golden swirl was still there.

  My head jerked back. “Kieran?” I croaked.

  “I’m here.”

  I moved toward the sound of his voice, grasping the front of his tunic. My gaze swept over him, searching for…something.

  “You’re really starting to worry me,” he said.

  “How do you feel?” I rasped.

  “Other than my aching jaw?” His brows slanted. “Fine.”

  “Did you feel dizzy at all?”

  “After you punched me hard enough to rattle my brain?” he said. “Yeah.”

  I let go of him and looked at my palm again.

  “What’s going on, Cas?” Delano was on his knees on the other side of me now.

  “I…” It didn’t make sense. The imprint was there. Kieran and I still breathed. And he didn’t seem to feel anything. Poppy had to be okay, but the dizziness, the aching hollowness…

  I looked at the marriage imprint swirled across my hand, ending just below my missing finger. It was still there…

  But it didn’t shimmer like usual.

  It had dulled.

  CHAPTER 59

  CASTEEL

  My heart stuttered again.

  “Something happened to Poppy.” I scrambled to my feet, slightly unsteady.

  “What?” Kieran rose quickly.

  “I don’t know. But I know it did. I can feel it in my bones.” I took a step back. “It’s something bad enough that it affected me.”

  “Casteel.” My father was slower to rise. “We felt the quake. Attes told me we would feel that once Kolis was killed. Which means…” He braced himself. “You may be feeling Poppy in stasis.”