The primal of blood and.., p.15

  The Primal of Blood and Bone, p.15

   part  #6 of  Blood and Ash Series

The Primal of Blood and Bone
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  “It’s okay,” the male repeated, his lips curving up. The smile didn’t reach his eyes, though. It didn’t cause a—

  Pain arced from temple to temple once more, forcing a stilted breath past my lips.

  His golden eyes turned luminous as his nostrils flared, almost like he felt my pain.

  The knocking continued.

  And continued.

  Then came a voice. “I know you’re in there.”

  My gaze shot to the door. There was something familiar about the feminine voice.

  “And I’m going to keep knocking until you answer,” she promised. “I have all day.”

  “Fucking gods,” the male muttered under his breath, briefly closing his eyes.

  “I have all night if it comes to that,” she tacked on.

  A muscle flexed in his jaw just as the hot taste of anger filled the back of my throat. “I’ll handle this.” He rocked forward—

  I locked up, fingers going numb from how tightly I was clutching my knees. I no longer felt the soft material of the robe beneath them.

  He halted, his eyes closing once more as he swore again. “I’m sorry.”

  I didn’t know what he apologized for.

  I watched as he stood slowly. My gaze tracked over the taut muscles of his back as his long legs ate up the short distance between him and the door.

  Gripping the handle, his shoulders rose with a deep breath I thought he took to calm himself, but it didn’t seem to work. He cracked open the door. “Tawny.”

  That…name…

  “Hawke,” she replied, mimicking his bland, dry tone. For some reason, my lips tipped up. “Oh, I’m sorry. I mean…Casteel,” she continued as a sharp ache pierced the area behind my eyes. I breathed through it and squeezed my legs until my arms felt like they’d snap. “Or should it be Your Highness? Or do you prefer Your Excellency of Many Names? How about Your Majesty—?”

  “Cute,” the male interrupted.

  “Thank you.”

  His sigh could’ve shaken the walls. I wouldn’t have been surprised in the least if it had. He tilted his head. “And where were you?”

  “Sorry,” came a muffled voice that sounded farther away. “I had to take care of, you know, basic bodily functions.”

  “Of course,” the male muttered, refocusing on the one before him. “What can I do for you, Tawny?”

  “I want to see Poppy.”

  I straightened.

  “She’s not here,” the male replied.

  “Bullshit,” she snapped. “I know she’s in there.”

  “And why do you think that?”

  “Because you wouldn’t be here if she wasn’t,” she said. I wanted to smile at that. “But what I don’t know is why you have her in a—”

  “She’s asleep,” the male cut her off. “Something a normal person would’ve realized when no answer came after they knocked for three whole minutes.”

  “I wasn’t knocking that long.”

  “Yes. You. Were,” the male bit out, each word spoken with deliberate precision. “I counted.”

  “That’s not weird or anything.” There was a pause. “But it doesn’t tell me why you’re here. In—”

  “Don’t,” the male said. I stiffened at the coolness of his tone and the underlying thread of power that reminded me of… “Don’t finish that sentence, Tawny.”

  There were several seconds of silence, and I had the distinct impression the woman on the other side of the door was debating the merits of ignoring the clear warning. Because she always—

  Agony struck like lightning, sending me back against the wall.

  “Is there a reason you’re only opening the door a foot?” she asked. The pain slowly eased.

  “Not particularly.”

  I didn’t think he spoke the truth. I slowly loosened my hold on my legs and leaned forward, planting my hands on the cool floor. My head felt like it was about to roll off my shoulders.

  The woman at the door didn’t seem to believe him either. “Uh-huh.”

  “Believe it or not—”

  “I don’t,” she cut in.

  “Poppy is asleep. I will let you know when you can see her.” He started to close the door. “Until then—”

  “Nope.” A head full of snowy curls and a slender shoulder wedged itself between the doorframe and the door, and there…

  “Fucking gods.” He moved quickly, blocking her as the hand at his side clenched. “What is wrong with you?”

  “What is wrong with you?” she shot back. “You won’t let me see my friend. The friend I’ve known longer than you. And you won’t tell me why you’re down here.”

  Down here?

  I inched forward, ignoring the throbbing in my head. I caught sight of her face briefly before he blocked her once more. The hair and eyes were nearly white, except for the pupils, which starkly contrasted with her rich-brown skin. Her pretty features were recognizable to me, yet…not. It was almost as if I knew her. And there was still this…

  There was a flicker of something in my chest, like a fragile flame caught in the wind.

  “I’m not the one foolishly trying to force themselves into the room where the Queen”—he stepped forward, forcing her to lean back an inch or two—“and the King are.”

  “The Queen is my friend, first and foremost,” she hissed.

  My breath caught. That…that meant something to me. Something huge. Because the concept of a friend had been forbidden. Confusion rose as I scuttled back against the wall again.

  Muscles flexed and rolled down his spine when his back stiffened. “If that is the case, then you wouldn’t be here trying to disrupt her rest.”

  A low-pitched shriek of frustration came from the hall. “I know you’re lying!”

  “About?”

  “About her being at rest,” she snapped. If his back got any straighter, he’d crack his spine. “Just as Kieran was when I ran into him. She’s awake, and I don’t mean that in the sense that she was sleeping normally.”

  A second passed, and then another, as tiny bumps erupted across my skin. “And what makes you think that?” the male asked, his voice eerily soft.

  “Besides the fact that the whole castle shook a few hours ago?” she countered.

  I couldn’t see his face, but I heard the smirk in his voice as the male said, “And how do you know that wasn’t me?”

  “You’re not capable of that.”

  “Want to bet?”

  Several seconds of silence ticked by again. “No, not really,” she said, I heard a slight tremor in her voice.

  I didn’t like that. My eyes narrowed on his back.

  “I know she’s awake,” she said, clearing her throat. “I don’t know how to explain it or why I know she wasn’t sleeping normally before that. It’s just a feeling—and the gods know, I’ve had many weird feelings since I woke up. Look, that doesn’t matter. I’m just worried about her, and you not letting me into this chamber tells me that something is wrong,” she said, her next breath audible. “And that…gods, Casteel, that scares me.”

  He tilted his head back, and my gaze fell to the fist at his side. His hand relaxed. “She’s okay,” the male admitted, so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. “But she’s…she’s having difficulty recalling things.”

  “W-what?” she stuttered.

  All the muscles in his back tensed again. “She’s not herself right now.”

  I drew my knees to my chest again and rested my chin on them. Their conversation became nothing more than a hum as I started to sway. He was right. I…I wasn’t myself.

  There was something wrong with me.

  Something wrong with those whispers.

  I thought it had been my instincts at first, but I no longer believed that to be true. The whispers weren’t mine, and it didn’t like how I’d come to realize that.

  And those whispers…they weren’t many. It was only one. Him.

  The one who wanted in.

  Death.

  He didn’t like that I knew that.

  He whispered for me to take out the male at the door and escape. He wanted me to do that and then find the other who made me think of wolves so I could end him, too. And he didn’t want me to stop there. He wanted me to lay waste to all who crossed my path, be they mortal, god, wolven, or draken.

  There will be no more pain, he whispered. No more hunger. No more fear. You won’t be weak.

  I squeezed my eyes shut.

  Don’t you want that? Need that? I can do that for you, he whispered. You just need to give in. That’s all.

  Then what?

  Then you will come to me. We will be one, flesh and bone. You just need to give in to me, he lured. Enticed. Called. Sang. Give in to me. Give in.

  His whispers sounded like a beautifully haunting song of mourning then, a beckoning that filled my mind with images. Blood-soaked ground and broken bones. Crimson skies and lakes of fire. The masses on their knees in worship. What I saw was terrible. What I saw felt…

  Inevitable.

  CASTEEL

  I sat on the floor, watching Poppy. Less than an hour had passed since Tawny finally left the hall outside the chamber.

  She would be back.

  Rubbing a hand over my face, I had a feeling it would be harder to convince her to leave next time. The female gave off a weird aura. I couldn’t deny that. But man had she been pissed when I wouldn’t go into detail about Poppy’s current state. She also hadn’t been happy about me refusing to allow her into the cell. I could tell she was worried about Poppy. That was apparent in her voice.

  But I didn’t entirely trust her.

  Like I said, her aura was fucking weird. Off. And I couldn’t pick up any emotion from her when I tried to get a read on her. There was nothing there but emptiness.

  Which wasn’t right.

  I closed my eyes and tipped my head back against the wall. Even if I did trust her, I couldn’t let her in. If Poppy attacked her, she would never forgive herself once she returned to herself.

  A whole damn day had passed since I’d brought her down here, meaning Reaver should be returning soon. I kept telling myself that, refusing to let doubt creep in. Reaver would be successful. He would find someone who could help.

  Lowering my hand, I opened my eyes to find Poppy as she had been, her knees drawn up to her chest and arms wrapped tightly around them. She’d been like that for hours. The only time she had moved was when she first woke and made a mad dash for the door. When I caught her, she’d screamed as if my touch burned. She screamed so loud, Delano had shifted into his wolven form to scratch at the door. And she didn’t stop screaming until I let her go. That’s when she retreated to her spot along the wall, where she stayed. She hadn’t drunk anything. Hadn’t eaten. Hadn’t used the privy. She hadn’t moved until Tawny was at the door. But by the time I turned around, she was pressed against that damn wall again.

  Using the eather earlier had taken its toll on her, so I’d thought she had fallen asleep a few times. But every so often, I felt the pain of her hunger piercing my flesh like a thousand tiny, burning daggers. And then she would begin rocking from side to side.

  I swallowed the knot in my throat, the silence of the room punctuated by her shallow, erratic breathing. “Poppy,” I called softly, careful not to startle her. “Can you look at me?”

  Nothing indicated she registered my presence in the chamber let alone heard me.

  My gaze moved over her, landing on her hands. She clutched the sides of her robe where it covered her legs so tightly that her knuckles turned white. I let my senses stretch out to get a read on her. A bitter taste gathered in my throat. It felt like anguish but…something more.

  Drawing in a deep breath to steady my movements, I quietly placed a hand on the floor and slowly rocked forward.

  She ceased her swaying, and her head snapped up. I froze. Her face was nearly leached of all color, and the smudges under her eyes had grown into dark shadows. When she stared back at me, I noticed that the streaks of crimson had faded from her irises. That should’ve been a good sign, but what I saw in her eyes—what I now knew I was picking up from her—stopped me in my tracks.

  Yes, she was in pain, and it was far more profound than the physical, but I also tasted fear.

  Pure, stark terror.

  Dear, gods. I struggled to recall when—if ever—I had known her to be so afraid. The only time I could think of was when Kieran and I had been taken down by shadowshade—a flower found in the eastern hills of the Mountain of Nyktos that freezes those affected and turns them to stone.

  She had been terrified for us then.

  But now?

  She appeared terrified of me.

  The air was charged with currents of energy that made my skin prickle as she drew back, pressing herself against the wall like she sought to sink into it. Tensing, I saw her eyes widen with fear and…

  Panic rose in her like a tidal wave about to break. “Don’t,” she rasped.

  My soul withered. That word sounded broken. “Poppy,” I whispered hoarsely, loathing how I’d taunted her when she first woke up in an attempt to distract her from her desire to escape. “Please, do not be afraid of me. Please.”

  Poppy flinched.

  She fucking flinched, and all the hurt and anger I’d felt upon realizing she didn’t trust me in all the ways one needed was nothing compared to knowing I was the one causing her fear. I wanted to tear out my heart.

  A sense of helplessness crept over me. I’d never felt so damn powerless in my life as I watched her angle her body sideways, keeping her knees pressed tightly to her chest but her head trained in my direction. There was distance between us—one that felt like miles, even though it was only a few feet.

  Forcing my body to relax, I didn’t dare move forward or backward as her wary gaze remained fixed on me. Gods, shit felt really bleak in the minutes that followed. I needed to stop that line of thought.

  So, I pushed down my frustration until I felt almost nothing and focused on the fact that she had at least spoken her first word since she’d placed herself against the wall. I took another breath. “You don’t remember this right now, but you can always talk to me. About anything,” I said softly, suppressing the part of me that wished that were true. “You can tell me what you’re thinking.”

  She blinked, her lashes slow to lift after lowering.

  “Even if all you’re thinking about is escaping. You can tell me that.” I eased myself down on my ass again. I was no longer half-leaning toward her, but I was closer. I would consider that progress. “If you’re thinking about how much I’m annoying you right now,” I said with a faint smile, “you can tell me that, just like you would anytime in the past when I frustrated you.”

  Her chin tilted down, causing strands of hair to swing forward against her cheek. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t answer.

  It truly was like she was in another world—one where my voice couldn’t reach her, and my presence was a threat rather than a comfort.

  Gods. Despite the shit with the promise, I ached to hold her. To reassure her with a touch. Yet I knew that any attempt would only cause her more fear. So, I stayed rooted to the spot my ass had plopped down on, a silent guardian wrestling with the fear that I was losing her to a battle I didn’t have the knowledge to understand. An enemy I knew existed but couldn’t see.

  The room was silent except for Poppy’s shallow breathing, a rhythm that seemed too frail and labored. Concern took hold as I let my senses stretch out toward her. What I picked up from her was a swirling mixture of fear, anxiety, and something flat. Emotionless. Empty. I concentrated on her. It was like peeling back the layers of an onion. The fear was hers, as was the anxiety and hunger, but what lurked underneath? That cold emptiness? That wasn’t her.

  That was him.

  Somehow, he’d bonded himself to her. Had gotten inside her—A wildfire of rage tore through me, igniting every cell in my body and stoking the essence in my blood. I was going to kill that fucker. True Primal of Death or not, he would die. He would fucking—

  Poppy’s head lifted, her eyes wide again as energy charged the atmosphere. A faint glow of eather pulsed weakly behind her pupils as the splotches of brown and green in her irises began to bleed together.

  Shit.

  I needed to control myself better. Pulling my senses back, I cut them off as I checked my anger. It took damn near everything in me to calm my ass down.

  When I could trust that my voice would be level, I spoke. “You felt that, huh? I’m not angry at you. Never at you.”

  The churning in her eyes slowed and then stilled, leaving only the shadows and crimson visible. Our gazes locked, and there was nothing but a cold, vast emptiness in her stare.

  I knew at once that she wasn’t looking back at me.

  Tension gathered in my muscles. “Is that you?”

  Her head tilted.

  “Kolis.”

  One side of her lips curled up slowly. “I told you once before.” The voice that came out of her was a poisonous whisper, slithering through the air toward me like a venomous viper. The hairs on my arms stood on end. “She has always been mine.”

  Instantly, it was as if all my muscles had turned to stone. I saw Duke Teerman in my mind, saying almost the same words. Saw a glint of light in his dark eyes, like dying sunlight flickering in the darkness.

  And suddenly I knew.

  Somehow, Kolis had been in Teerman. My hand fisted against my thigh as I tried to keep my voice level. “And I told you that she has never been yours.”

  The laugh fell against my skin like frozen rain. “Fool.”

  I pushed down the rising eather, using what I’d learned while being held captive. I shut down any and all feelings until I was as cold as the thing staring back at me through her eyes. Getting Kolis to talk was far more productive than losing my shit. “How long were you in Teerman?”

  Her head tilted to the other side, the movement disturbingly fluid and serpentine. “Whenever I chose to be.”

  I didn’t look away. “How?”

  That smirk kicked up a notch. “I’m going to kill you.”

  The curve of my lips matched hers. “Is that so?”

  “But first?” The tip of her tongue swiped over her dry lower lip. “I’m going to take everyone you care about and break them.”

 
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