“Uh, sure. Yeah. I’m sorry.”

  Skylar stared at me for a little bit with a funny look before she blinked, clearing it. “I–uh–I heard that you had an altercation with a Kappa girl last semester.”

  Oooh. I was seeing where she was going now.

  Two fights. The apology was cool, but now she was wading in to see if I was a problem roommate.

  “Look.” Okay. She needed to understand some things. “I’m shorter than other girls. I have good tits, some ass, and I’m petite. Guys like me. I also don’t come across as high-maintenance and I’m just keeping it real, but I like sex. Guys know that from looking at me. Girls see that and your friend was the last in a long line of girls trying to take me ‘down a notch’ or something. I’ve had some say they wanted to teach me ‘a lesson.’ I learned the sooner I stop it, and if I go overboard a bit, they actually shut the fuck up. In high school, I became friends with the bitchy girls. I did it on purpose so they wouldn’t fuck with me. Not that I’m proud of who I ran with back then. I’m a freshman. New place, new people, and new bullshit until people learn not to mess with me. I’d like to say it won’t happen again, but it’s just not true. It might. I don’t have a problem with food, so your friend didn’t trigger me, but just hearing the venom coming from her, no matter what she would’ve been saying, I probably would’ve still reacted. But I should’ve tried harder or in a better way because she’s your friend. If she’s here, or coming here, I can take off if you need?” I shifted back on my feet. “Ball’s in your court. You want me to leave?”

  I don’t know if it was Skylar’s job to have this talk with me, but I wasn’t holding it against her. I wasn’t going to get all ‘how dare she’ because the truth was that she was being responsible. I’m new. She didn’t know me, and she had people here she loved. She was looking out for them too.

  “I won’t go as far as moving out, but I can keep to myself. I can promise that.”

  That funny look was on her face again until she shook it off, and a rueful grin showed next. “I can’t read you. Like, at all.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She laughed, abruptly. “You’re honest, that’s for sure.”

  “Hey–hey!” Wade popped his head into the room, then stepped fully inside. “You’re here! I thought you changed your mind.” His eyebrows pulled down, and his gaze skirted from Skylar to me and back. “What’s going on?”

  “I was–” Skylar started.

  I heard the apology in her voice, and I stepped in, “I was asking if I should order food or not. Or do you guys already have some?” I checked the clock. I’d not eaten all day and it was nearing four. I moved past her, past him, and saw the same girls who had been talking with Wade the other day. They were spread out at the end of the table with a couple guys in the middle. They stopped talking when they saw me, and I went to the opposite end of the table, putting my bag down. They had snacks on the table. Some fruit. Couple bags of chips. The guys had beer and the girls had plastic cups with drinks, I was guessing mixed drinks or just juice.

  I pulled my phone out. “I’m starving. Anyone else want pizza?”

  In the kitchen, Skylar smothered a laugh.

  The irony was not lost on me either.

  16

  MARA

  It wasn’t until after the pizza showed up, and another hour into studying that I needed a break. I headed to my place for the bathroom and when I was coming back, one of the girls was waiting for me in the kitchen.

  “Hey.”

  She was the one I invited to the Alpha Mu house.

  “Hey.” I paused, waiting to see where this was going.

  “I couldn’t go to the party because–well, it doesn’t matter, but my friends went. They gave your name at the door and said you never vouched for them.”

  I was trying to remember. “Right. Yeah.” I relayed what the door guy had told me.

  “So why didn’t you vouch for them?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “You serious? You wanted me to babysit them when I didn’t know them?”

  “You could’ve just vouched for them, and not have to babysit them. They’re not children.”

  Okay. Yeah. Because that’s how it worked.

  “Uh huh.” I made to move around her.

  Further discussion was pointless. She didn’t want to put herself into my shoes. I relayed everything to her, and hoped she’d be like, “Oh yeah, you were going to leave and my two friends that you don’t know just showed up. Makes total sense that you wouldn’t claim them considering their new rules.” She didn’t do that, and there was no “aha” moment with her. She had a bone to pick with me. And I literally told Skylar hours earlier that I’d try better with confrontations. Though, this girl didn’t seem like the type to pick, pick, pick, target, bully, and so on. She seemed just mad that she hadn’t gotten into the Alpha Mu party, or in this case, that her friends hadn’t gotten in.

  I frowned. “Why do you want to go to one of their parties so much?”

  “What?”

  I repeated my question.

  She moved back a step, still frowning.

  “Is it some weird fixation with a fraternity? Because if so, there’s better frats to party with, safer frats. Some are amazing and great. This one–”

  “This one has connections the others don’t. They have senators as alumni. Fortune 500 CEOs. Professional athletes.”

  I could list three other fraternities on campus with better reputations, and which had the same resume, but she seemed dug in on the Alpha Mu fraternity.

  “Is there a particular guy you want to bone or something?”

  She blinked at me. “What?”

  “Your other reason doesn’t make sense. So, is there a particular guy you want?”

  She continued to stare at me, a look of panic flaring for a brief moment. “No.”

  Liar. She was so lying.

  “Who is it?”

  “It’s no–”

  “Just tell me and maybe I can introduce you–”

  She rushed out, “Leander Carrington.”

  Now I was taken aback. “The door guy?”

  “What?”

  “The door guy. He’s Flynn Carrington’s brother? That guy?”

  Her mouth pressed closed, and she lifted a shoulder before saying tightly, “I don’t know if he was the door guy, but he’s a freshman. And Flynn is his older brother.”

  “Why do you want to be set up with him?”

  Her mouth went flat once again.

  “I’m not reaching out until you tell me.”

  She sighed. “You know at orientation, they put us in clubs?”

  No. I never went. “Sure. Yeah.”

  “Well, he was in the club that I was in charge of and…” Her cheeks got red. She lowered her head.

  She was being shy. The guy she wanted to meet was the guy her friends had met. But it was fine. He seemed like a nice enough guy. “I can introduce you.”

  Her head whipped up. “You serious?” Her chest rose, and held… It was still holding.

  I frowned, willing her chest to move. “What’s your name?”

  “Susan.”

  “What time do you do breakfast on Tuesdays?”

  “Breakfast?”

  “You want to meet him or not?”

  “I can meet you at nine.”

  “Done. Campus coffee shop. Get there early and grab a table.”

  “Are you serious?”

  It was an easy enough thing to do. “Sure. Yeah.”

  “Oh!” She began waving her hands in the air. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. My advice, move on to a different guy at a better frat.”

  Her hands stopped moving, but she held them stationary in the air. “Why do you hang out with them?”

  “I’m currently asking myself the same question.”

  I started to go around her but paused when my phone buzzed in my pocket.

  She moved around me, hurrying back to the room.

  My phone had either been on silent earlier, or I hadn’t had cell service for the last hour. Either way, I was just now seeing an unknown number had called me thirty times.

  That wasn’t right.

  The phone had been by me the whole time. Thirty times was possible, but all without me getting one notification?

  I knew I was going to regret it. It was a hunch, but I hit call back.

  It rang, and rang, and rang. I let it go, expecting a voice message recording to start but it never did. Then, after the sixteenth ring, it was picked up.

  Loud music and voices were heard first before a girl asked, sounding harassed, “Yeah?”

  “Who is this?”

  “Who is this?”

  “You called me.”

  “No, bitch. You called me. I was strolling by, and the phone wouldn’t shut up, so what do you want?”

  It was Vegas. I hadn’t put the area code together till just now.

  Vegas.

  I knew what Vegas meant.

  That bark was back in my throat, and I swallowed over it, needing to speak. “This is on a payphone?”

  “Yeah. Listen, your gripe isn’t with me. I gotta go.”

  “No, wait.”

  “What?”

  “Did you see anyone on the phone before you walked past?”

  She was quiet. My heart started to thump. Hard.

  “There was a woman on it.”

  “What’d she look like?” Why was I asking? That was the better question. It was my mom. That was certain, and again, why was I asking?

  I expected the same irritated response, but instead, the woman’s voice grew louder, and also closer to the phone. “I don’t think you want me to answer that. You missed the call. Maybe better to leave it alone?”

  God. It was my mother.

  I whispered, bending over, “What’d she look like?”

  “Not good, honey. She was banged up. Someone worked her over.”

  That made me reel because there was no way. But… there was. Was it her?

  “Are you serious?”

  “Listen, I don’t know what’s going on here but my advice? Let it go. She’s gone. Be like looking for a needle in a haystack.”

  My mom called and as long as she was standing upright, I let it go. Always. It was my rule with her, but to hear what a stranger was saying? If that’d been her? She got jumped or roughed up by someone?

  What should I do? Go there? Look for her?

  Call my dad and tell him so he would worry about her too?

  I didn’t know.

  Do nothing and feel this information burn a hole in my gut. That was door number three, and door number three is what I would do, but it would hurt. It’d hurt so much.

  She was my mom, end of the day.

  “Thank you.”

  “Listen, if she shows up again and I talk to her, I’ll give you a call. What’s your number?”

  I gave it to her, along with a name, and she ended the call with a soft, “You sound young. Seems late for you to be up worrying about this lady. My advice, head to bed. I’m sure the lady is fine. She seemed like a survivor when I saw her.”

  I thanked her again, and when the call was done, I saw that Cruz had texted.

  Cruz: Heading over. Still studying?

  I was going to text him back when Skylar spoke up, “You okay?”

  I was a little dazed, staring at her for a second. My head was still reeling. “What?”

  Her eyes fell to the phone in my hand. “You look like you saw a ghost. You okay?”

  A fist rammed into my chest. “How much did you hear?”

  She shrugged a little. “I mean, the whole thing, but just your side. Not enough to know what’s going on, but enough to know something’s going on.” She eyed me. “I mostly heard you and the other girl before. What you offered to do, that was nice of you. Unnecessary, but nice.”

  Flynn’s brother. Leander. The girl. Breakfast.

  It was coming back to me. “Uh, okay.”

  “That guy you’re introducing to her, is he a nice guy?”

  “He was nice enough, but I had a three-minute conversation with him. Getting him to go to breakfast will be nothing. I’m figuring she can figure it out for herself from there.”

  “You’re going to tell him about her?”

  “No.”

  She frowned. “How are you going to do the introduction then?”

  “I’m going to tell him I’ll buy him breakfast. He’ll show up. We’ll sit at her table. I’ll leave early.”

  She blinked, staring at me. Slowly, her eyes closed, and she began shaking her head. “Just when I thought I had you figured out.” She began laughing. “That’s kinda genius in the most simple way.”

  The house’s doorbell rang just as I said, “Not genius, just easy.”

  Wade was heading out of the dining room and paused seeing Skylar and me in the kitchen. He shot us a small frown before answering the door. “Oh, hey man. How’s it going? You here for Gaynor?”

  “Uh…”

  Wade stepped back and Cruz stepped in, seeing me right away.

  Need flooded me, instantly, and seeing it, but also seeing how I wasn’t moving or saying anything, Cruz gestured to me. His backpack was slung over one of his shoulders. “Daniels said you guys had a studying thing going on. We’re in anthro together. Mind if I crash?”

  Wade’s head reared back, and he seemed startled, going from me to Cruz before nodding eagerly. “Yeah, man. The new star of our hockey team? You can crash anytime you want.” He laughed slightly as Cruz stepped farther into the house. Some of the other guys came out, hearing Cruz’s name and approached. Hands were shook. Shoulders pounded. The guys were doing their “athlete heralding” thing.

  And Skylar drew in another deep breath, moving to stand next to me. She said under her breath, “Now I really don’t have you figured out.”

  I wanted to fuck it all, take Cruz’s hand and lead him upstairs.

  I used sex to hide from life, but there were times when I didn’t want it to control me, and this was a moment where I felt it would. It was a fine line that I walked at times, and I didn’t want to step over it, letting sex start to replace the very thing my mom liked to take away from me, my life. I was a college student. I had to study, so therefore, I would study. Because of that, even though I was feeling a burning sensation searing in my stomach, I forced myself to return to the table.

  To my seat.

  I picked up a slice of pizza and ate it.

  I never tasted it.

  Cruz came in, and the girls’ voices went up a notch. Wade who? Who was Wade again?

  It was all about Cruz after that.

  I studied, and in a way, I wanted to ignore him. Cruz, being Cruz, didn’t let that happen. He moved to sit next to me, and as he sat, he pushed his leg up right next to mine.

  I closed my eyes, feeling that sensation settling me, just a tiny bit.

  But over the next hour, I kept looking at my phone.

  That unknown number never called.

  Two hours of studying, and Cruz’s leg was pressing so hard against mine, that I was struggling to stay in my seat. It was obvious what he wanted, though he never talked to me. He never looked at me. There were no secretive looks. The others didn’t seem to notice anything, and he had moved his bag on the table so it was blocking everyone’s view where our legs were.

  But I heard the girls flirting with him, or trying.

  They weren’t getting the ‘go ahead’ signal from him, so the girl who liked Wade had started flirting with him again. The other two guys might’ve been more enamored with Cruz than the girls. They competed with them for his attention, asking him about their next hockey game.

  “So, Cruz. Can I ask you a question?” Wade spoke up, and everyone quieted.

  Cruz shifted, leaning back in his seat. “Yeah, man. What’s up?” One of his hands dropped to his lap. He looked the epitome of cool and calm.

  “You’re like a shoe-in for the NHL, right?”

  One of the girls started giggling.

  Cruz lifted up a shoulder. “I mean, you never know, but I hope there’s a good chance I’ll go there. Why do you ask?”

  “Did you ever think of going straight there? Skipping college?”

  And that’s when his hand moved to my leg.

  Heat engulfed me, and tingles shot from that touch.

  I moved my leg. His hand moved to the inside of it, and I almost jumped.

  The need was back and pulsating inside of me.

  He was saying, running his finger up the inside of my leg, “Most guys go to college before the NHL. It’s pretty rare to go straight out of high school, and to get to play. It’s always been hockey for me. That’s been my focus all my life.”

  His finger was at my core, and waves of desire were spreading through me, like an inferno. Slowly, methodically, he pushed down, and began to rub. Fuck, how was he doing this? His voice was normal. It looked like he was resting his hand on his leg. And he was holding a whole conversation where Wade and the other guys were hanging onto every word he was saying. The girls perked back up, remembering who was sitting at the same table as them.

  “Oh, yeah. I get that.” Wade was nodding back.

  Cruz gave another shrug, as his finger circled around me. “College was a good play for me. With injuries, you just never know.”

  “But didn’t they try to draft you? Or asked you to enter it?”

  He didn’t respond right away, rubbing me. “I was approached, yeah.”

  A second finger joined, and he began moving more intensely, pressing, grinding. Before a moan slipped out of me, my hand grabbed his wrist.

  He was still looking at Wade, but I caught a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. Then he yawned, the mother fucker yawned. The pounding was between my legs, right where he was touching, and I could remove his hand. So easily. I could do that. No more tormenting.

  But I wasn’t.

  I pressed his hand harder into me.