“Stop!” I snapped out, cutting her off.

  My heart started pounding.

  Confusion flashed over her face. “But–”

  “That shit never needs to be talked about.”

  I felt my mom. It was like she was there, in the room, and she was making a scene like she used to when I was a kid.

  Wade knew about her, just not that she’d really been my mom. He and the others only asked the next day about the ‘con woman,’ but that’d been it. I told them it worked, and she went away.

  I hadn’t enjoyed lying, but it was easier.

  Normal moms were precious, and cherished. They were loving.

  Not mine.

  If she kept coming…

  She’d make a scene.

  And another scene.

  And another.

  If she took advantage of them? Tried to sleep with them? Conned one of them? Stole from them?

  They would ask me to leave.

  She came, and everything went bad.

  I sighed, pulling out my wallet. “Sorry, guys. My appetite is gone.”

  “What?”

  I threw some money on the table to cover my food that hadn’t come yet.

  Kit stood, lifting her arms for a hug. “What just happened?”

  “I just need to go. I’m sorry.” I hugged her back. “Stay strong. Don’t say anything about my mom, and have a safe trip back.”

  I was totally cutting my losses here, and being a shit friend, but I needed to go. A panic attack was impending. I could feel them by now, knew how long I had, and I needed that time to get away to my place.

  Zeke was next. “Thank you for coming.”

  “You okay, Daniels?” He angled his head to see my face as we hugged.

  I nodded, avoiding his gaze. “I’m good. Just–be safe heading back. Don’t get arrested too many times.”

  His grin was rakish. “You know better.”

  I laughed, but it only made the tightness in my chest get tighter. “I do. You should memorize your boy’s number too.”

  “Nah.” He said it so softly. “Maybe I enjoy knowing you’ll always be there for me?”

  My gaze jumped up, but I saw there was understanding looking back at me.

  That made the ball of emotion shove even higher in my throat now. I had to swallow to breathe around it. I grasped his shirt, and said thickly, “Thank you, Zeke.”

  “Anytime,” he whispered back. “I’ll cover you here.”

  I let go but patted his chest. After that, I couldn’t get to my car fast enough. I was almost there, crossing the parking lot before I heard my name being called.

  Wade was coming after me. “What’s your deal?”

  I saw Zeke in the doorway, but I held up a hand. He gave me a nod, stepping back.

  I frowned. “What’s your issue?”

  He drew up short at that. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ve been told that I don’t do personal. There’s a reason. Now, you brought up that you knew about me and Cruz before everyone else and you’re asking me if he and I are okay? How is that any of your business? And you’re following me.”

  “I’m your friend.”

  “No, you’re not! I don’t throw that word around easily. I don’t let a lot of those in, and even less since I had one turn his back on me. You’re a roommate, and you’re an acquaintance, and you’re a hangout friend. My real friends, they don’t push. Maybe it’s too much that I’m asking for that consideration, but I’m not in your business. I’m not asking who you’re fucking or how you and her or him are doing? I don’t do that. I don’t wade into people’s business unless they’ve made it known that’s what they want. I don’t do friendship contracts. You want to fuck me? Is that what this is about?”

  “If he doesn’t, I wouldn’t mind a go.”

  I tensed.

  Flynn Carrington was coming from his vehicle. A few other Alpha Mu guys had ridden with him, including his little brother, who was frowning at me.

  Wade stepped closer to me. “Carrington.”

  He didn’t pause as he walked past us. “Kressup. You throwing your hat in the ring?”

  I growled, but Wade touched my arm, blocking me from the rest of the guys as they passed. “Imagine that. You being a dick. The world spins another day.”

  His little brother stopped at Flynn’s question, glanced my way, back to his brother, before throwing me an inscrutable look.

  “Look at that. Dry sarcasm. Good for you.” Flynn turned to walk backwards, his smirk a half grin. “By the way, how’s your girl? Oh wait…” The grin was gone, and it was just a smirk.

  Wade tensed. “You mean Rosa, the girl I liked before she woke up in your bed, naked and no memory how she got there? That girl? Who was so devastated after her medical exam that she quit school and moved back home?”

  Oh whoa!

  I had my own gut instincts, as well as so many others saying something. But to hear it confirmed and from another guy, that was major.

  Flynn ground to a halt. “Those are big words to throw around unless you got proof to back it up?”

  Wade’s face was like cement. “That’s the problem, isn’t it? You say your place doesn’t have cameras. Her friend said she wandered in there alone.”

  “I was never in my room that night. I’m the one who found her. Remember?” His gaze was hard right back. “I never touched your friend.” His eyes slid to mine, taking in Wade’s hand on my arm. “Funny. I thought she was already spoken for. Look at you, Little Daniels, getting all these guys to line up for you. Guess they’re all content to wait for their turn. Just so you know, I’m not a wait-in-line kind of guy.”

  “You fucking asshole.” Wade started for him.

  I got in between them, my back to Carrington, and I placed my hands on Wade’s chest. “Stop.” I said it low and calm, but insistent. “You can’t get into a fight with him, not guys like him.”

  Wade was grinding his teeth.

  I dug in. “He’s too connected, Wade. Too much money. Too much family influence. Trust me. I know guys like him. How he’s acting, he knows he can get away with almost anything right now.” As much as I was trying to talk Wade into having a cooler head, my heart ached for that Rosa girl.

  His nostrils flared, but Wade stopped pushing.

  Carrington laughed as he went inside, “Thanks for having my back, Daniels. I owe you one.”

  I glared at him, but he was gone. All his brothers too. His little brother stood to the side. Our eyes met, and he flinched, looking away.

  “I don’t want Miller coming to our house anymore.”

  I tucked my hands back to my side. “I’m not the one inviting him, and he’s not Carrington. He’s not a predator.”

  Wade’s eyes were still a little feral. “Aren’t they all?”

  “No. They aren’t.”

  He growled. “You know what? Your idea to cut and run, good choice after all.” He gestured beyond me. “I can’t go in there or I’ll be leaving in handcuffs, but, God, if I go and study right now, I’ll be thinking about him and what he did to Rosa.”

  “A bar,” I said it, not thinking.

  His gaze sharpened on me. “What?”

  “We should go to a bar. Lots of stimuli. It’ll help keep your mind off of Carrington and your friend.” I lifted a shoulder, knowing, just knowing I should’ve kept my mouth shut. “We can study there. Great idea, right?”

  It was a horrible idea.

  32

  MARA

  Wade suggested a local bar that didn’t look too closely at ID cards. Worked for me.

  It was a pub with a whole section for games, with an inside room that was sports heaven. I counted thirty televisions mounted, most with a different sport playing too. Wade grabbed a high top in the corner.

  The server was nice. She barely glimpsed my fake, so we ordered water and beer. It was thirty minutes later, after we’d gotten through an entire chapter for abnormal psych when another roomie came in. Darren, and he brought a whole group with him. I was assuming football players judging by their height and weight. Big guys, or most were big.

  “What up, roomies?” Darren snagged a chair at a table. A guy slipped into the other seat that Darren introduced as QB1, their starting quarterback. His teammates or friends filled the rest of the spots. Another group of guys showed up, and soon we took up half the section. It wasn’t long after that when the girls started coming over.

  The first pitcher of beer was gone within five minutes.

  “If I knew you were their roommate, the entire team would’ve been hanging out at Darren’s house all year long. Sorry, but damn, are you fine.”

  “She just moved in this semester,” Wade said, reaching for the next pitcher.

  “Don’t encourage him.” Darren shot Wade a look.

  Wade shrugged, filling his cup, my cup, and the QB1’s cup. Darren wasn’t drinking.

  “Don’t matter. She’s taken.”

  “What?” QB1 spit out his beer, leaning back in his stool. He gave me a once-over. “Say it ain’t so.”

  I frowned at him. “What’s your name?”

  “Kyle.” He leaned in. “What’s yours?”

  “You already know her name.” Darren bent his head into his textbook.

  “Tell me again. I want to hear how you say it.”

  “Call me Daniels.”

  “Daniels, huh? That a nickname or something? Something only your best buds call you?”

  “Yes.” I gave him a flat look. “It’s special, just for you.”

  “Daniels!”

  “I stand corrected.” I straightened in my seat as Gavin came around the side. He threw an arm around my shoulder, giving me a one-sided hug. “What’s up? Why are you here?”

  “Wade needed a distraction, and I heard studying in a bar was the best type.”

  “Fuck yeah, it is.” He turned for QB1/Kyle. “Hey, man. How’s it going?”

  “Miller.” They gave each other a fist pound.

  Of course they were friends.

  Gavin did the same with Darren and Wade, then moved to the next table, repeating. None of the guys were surprised at seeing him.

  I frowned. “Does Miller ever study?”

  Darren snorted, grinning at me. “Not that I’ve seen.”

  Kyle was still looking my way. “You got some friends. Wade. Darren here. Now Miller? Who else you know?”

  I had no doubt he also knew about Cruz, but I shrugged. “Dude. I’m here to study.”

  Wade started laughing.

  Darren snorted again. “She ‘duded’ you. Friend-zoned.”

  “Daniels!” Gavin came back, his backpack slung over one shoulder. “Make room for me. I’m joining you.” He had a chair behind him.

  “What? No–”

  “Yes.” He ignored Kyle, clearing the table himself of all the condiments until there was room for his phone. He made it work. The guys scooted in, giving him enough space.

  The server came over and frowned at him.

  He was side-eyeing her. “Don’t give me shit that this is a fire hazard or something. I know you let others do this all the time.”

  She sighed. “Why are you here, Gavin? You’re not twenty-one.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I’m in your freshman econ class.”

  “Oh. Yeah.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You can stay, but if you get me in trouble, I will make your life hell.”

  She was walking away when he called after her, “Wanna go out?”

  She ignored him, shaking her head.

  Kyle laughed, shaking his head. “Why the fuck are you at Alpha Mu? You’re too cool to be at that house.”

  Gavin reached for the beer, giving a shrug before he filled his cup. “Connections. And speaking of,” his eyes went to mine. “Heard you had a run-in with one of them earlier today.”

  “What’d you hear?”

  “Just that you had a little thing with Flynn.”

  “Flynn Carrington?” Darren asked.

  Wade said, “It was more me that had a run-in with him.”

  Darren frowned. “Because of Rosa?”

  Wade nodded, tight-lipped.

  Gavin met my gaze, confused.

  He asked, “Rosa?”

  “A chick that woke up naked in Carrington’s bed and after a medical exam, she found out she’d had sex. She didn’t remember a thing.”

  Gavin tensed. “When did this happen?”

  “Last year. Fall semester. Let me guess, no one talks about it?” Wade bit out.

  Gavin shook his head. “No one’s said a word. You want me to ask around?”

  Wade narrowed his eyes at him.

  I spoke up, “No.”

  “What? Why?”

  I answered Gavin, “It’ll make you a target. Keep your head down.”

  “The guys who I could ask–”

  “Just don’t. Guys like that, they always get away with it and everyone else gets hurt. And the girl, it always comes back to haunt her.”

  I was aware of the guys sharing looks over my head, but I didn’t care. Let them think what they want. To be honest, it wouldn’t be so far off-base. I didn’t know a girl who hadn’t had to deal with sexual harassment, and I knew ten who had worse shit happen to them. Being a girl sometimes sucked and that was coming from a girl who enjoyed having sex, but I wasn’t supposed to.

  I’d slept with three guys in my life, and was considered a slut.

  “Damn, Daniels. Sometimes I think you’re too jaded to be my friend.”

  I picked up a fork and threw it at Gavin.

  The other guys laughed.

  Kyle and I were at the jukebox, picking songs when a commotion sounded.

  The hockey team came inside, bypassing the main room. Some went over to our tables, giving their hellos, shoulder pats, fist pounds, etcetera, but kept on into the sports room. They took up the entire length of the long table that ran the middle of that room.

  Labrowski. Atwater. Barclay.

  It was almost the whole team, minus a few, but then Cruz walked in. The commotion went up a whole notch. They’d just won both games against Minnesota, who was rated second in the nation, so it was a big deal. Cruz led the team in goals, and he opened up a third of the plays for the other players to score.

  I hadn’t texted him. He hadn’t texted me either.

  We both knew we were too far gone. It was sex or nothing for us, which I kinda hated, but I meant what I said. I didn’t want to sink back into sex and hide from moving forward. I felt for the first time in a long time that I could progress somewhere. Having friends who knew about my shit and still wanted to be friends was a big deal to me.

  Right now, it was baby steps, but fuck. Cruz looked good, and he saw me as he walked past.

  He didn’t stop.

  They must’ve come from a practice because his hair was still wet from a shower, and he had the rough look in his face that he got from whipping around on the ice. He was wearing Grant West sweats, ones that hung low on his hips, and a Grant West hockey sweatshirt. It had his name and his jersey number on the back.

  Girls were already descending on their table.

  I tried not to let it bother me when I saw a girl plop down in the seat across from Cruz. I recognized her from hanging out at the hockey house. I didn’t know who her friends were, but she was friendly with all the guys.

  I didn’t like her.

  Or I didn’t like how she was smiling at Cruz, who was grinning back.

  “Wait.” Kyle leaned back from the jukebox. “You and Styles. The pictures. I remember now. That’s who you’re with?”

  “I’m not.” I turned back to the machine. We needed music, angry, fuck-you, heartbreak in the most toxic and messy way possible. That type of music. I hit a Nine Inch Nails song and then chose a bunch of Eminem ones. Those would do.

  Kyle whistled, laughing under his breath at the same time. “I don’t know your story, but I am a hundred percent fascinated by you.”

  “Shut up.”

  “No, for real, I am. You’re cool, Daniels. Why the fuck haven’t you been coming to our football parties?”

  I chose not to inform him that I had; he just hadn’t met me then.

  Unknown number calls (15)

  Voicemail (15)

  33

  CRUZ

  Angela just left when Atwater took her seat. He’d been socializing, going from table to table instead of studying, which had been the original idea. The guys weren’t keen on the library, but I always got too distracted here. The games on the TVs behind us took most of the attention. Then there were the puck bunnies.

  “You see Daniels over there with the football team?”

  I grunted because I had. Kyle Ruiz had been all over her, or maybe not all over her, but he’d been giving her the look. Every guy recognized the look. Ruiz wanted to bang her.

  She hadn’t come over to say hi, and I hadn’t gone over there either. We were in a contest of wills right now, who would hold out longest. But I caught how she was looking at me. She wanted me. The same went for me, but fuck her whole ‘let’s stop’ bullshit. I mean, it made sense. I should support it, but seriously, my dick had been hard this whole time.

  “I’m so confused by you two. What are you doing?”

  The question came from Atwater, but I knew every guy within hearing distance perked up.

  I shrugged. “She’s got some stuff. I don’t know how to answer that.”

  “Bad stuff? Like head shit?” Barclay pointed to his head.

  Another shrug. “I wouldn’t say that, but it’s complicated.”

  “You’re not going to tell us?” Labrowski leaned in.

  I shook my head. “I’m not that guy, no.”

  A few of them nodded, understanding.

  Atwater’s eyes narrowed. “That’s bullshit. I want to know! You guys are not what you were in the beginning. That much is obvious, and you had her over to the house on Thursday in a hang-out capacity. I feel like I might die without having this closure. Give me closure, man.”