He had that same look, the intensity burning my insides.

  “Mara?” Zoe’s voice got through to me, pulling me back to the room.

  I blinked, trying to shed some of my thoughts away. “Sorry. Yeah. I’m okay. Wait.” I reached for my phone, pulling it out. “Did you text?”

  I heard her answering as I opened my messages, but her voice droned on, falling to a distance again.

  I saw the texts.

  Zoe: We’re here!! Where are you? We’re in the kitchen.

  There were others, from earlier.

  Unknown: Sweetie, honey. I know you said to leave you alone, but I’m in real trouble.

  Unknown: You really need to give me the 50k. It’s not for me, Mara. It’s to save someone’s life. I would never lie about that.

  21

  CRUZ

  Christ. Something was wrong. I could see it on her face.

  I started for her, but she jerked away from her roommate. Her gaze found me, and I knew I’d be haunted by that look on her face. I had a hand in putting it there. I knew I did, no matter whatever she just read on her phone.

  I cursed, going through the crowd for her, but she was gone before I could reach her.

  “That was weird.”

  I glanced to her roommate, who was frowning and looking at me before turning for her girlfriend.

  I pulled my phone out, bringing her name up, and I hit call as I headed outside.

  The phone rang. And rang. Then, “You’ve reached the voicemail of—”

  I ended the call.

  I didn’t know if she drove here or got a ride, but she was gone.

  Fuuuuck. Fuck. Fuck!

  I started to head for my room. I’d grab my keys, then look for her on the way to her place. My phone rang instead, at the same time I got a text alert.

  Mom calling.

  “Mom? Can I call you back in a minute?”

  “Oh yes, but something amazing has happened! Be quick.”

  I frowned, but read the text.

  Mara: I’m fine. I’m going back to my place. If you decide you want me, then text me. (That was sarcasm if you needed it spelled out.)

  22

  MARA

  I was halfway home before the headlights started behind me. It wasn’t long after that when his truck pulled up next to me, keeping track with me. The window rolled down. Cruz’s voice came next, “Get in the truck.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Just get in.” He softened his tone. “Please.”

  I gave him a look. “Please?” My head reared back. “What happened to ‘we’re done when I say we’re done?’ When you’re being all alpha and an asshole?”

  His face was still in stone, but he readjusted his hold on the steering wheel. “I was pissed. You were acting like a jealous girlfriend, which we’ve both stated we don’t want.”

  I snapped my mouth shut, because damn it, he was right.

  I glared. “I don’t like threats.”

  “I didn’t threaten you.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “Need me to give you a play-by-play of the release you denied me on the dance floor?”

  He swore under his breath, a hand raking over his face, and through his hair. “Just get in the truck, okay?”

  I shouldn’t. I had a right to deny a ride, and walk home on my end. It wasn’t far. I’d be fine, the walk would be good for me. My mom’s newest texts were steaming a hole in my pocket. I hated her. Seriously hated her even when I didn’t hate her at all.

  She lied. It was a constant with her and the biggest flag was when she said she wasn’t lying. Even as I read it, I knew it was a lie. That’s what she did. Manipulated. Lied. Deceived. The more I ignored her, the higher she’d up the stakes.

  What I could do, right here and now, was to get in the truck. I got into his truck. Cruz wasn’t my current biggest headache, and he’d been right that I’d been the one doing exactly what both of us didn’t want. Still. The image of that girl was etched in my memory.

  “I keep seeing that girl, and I keep seeing her all over you.”

  “Mara.” He sat back in his seat.

  “Not a fan of hers.”

  “I shoved her off.”

  I turned my head to hide my sneer. My stomach was still in a knot, but that girl was only part of it. A small part of it.

  We drove the rest of the way in silence until he parked, pulling up behind Darren’s Jeep. He cut the engine and hit the lights. We both sat, neither one moving to leave. “I’m going to ask because, well, I am so deal with it. Are you okay? Someone sent you something and I saw your face before you lit out of there.”

  “Honestly? It’s par for the course.”

  “I don’t know what that means.”

  I sighed, relenting a little. “I think that’s for the best.” I looked back at him, seeing the anger still simmering under his surface. Anger at me because of what I said to him, but it was warring with concern. Normally, I’d panic at that look, but I didn’t have it in me. Not tonight.

  I was suddenly so extremely exhausted.

  Then I swore, remembering my roommates.

  To Miles: I got a ride home, sorry to bail.

  To Zoe: Sorry. I bailed. I’m home. I hope you guys have a great night.

  Zoe: Hi! Yes. Are you okay, though? I know you don’t do personal, but I still need to ask. It’s my thing. I care about my friends.

  I stared at her text for a minute. Friends.

  Jesus.

  When had that happened?

  To Zoe: I’m fine. All good. Promise.

  To Skylar: Happy birthday! I hope you have a great rest of the night. Have lots of fun.

  Zoe: Okay, but we’re here if you need anything. I mean it.

  I hit the number from those unknown texts and blocked it. Again. Just like all the others.

  I asked Cruz, “You’re still pissed at me?”

  “Fuck yes.”

  “Want to come up?”

  He stared at me, “What do you think? Also, that was sarcasm if you needed it spelled out for you.”

  A short laugh escaped me, but I was opening the door. He joined me, and we went up.

  We went one round. He left after, and the week was a repeat from earlier.

  Every night, he came over after dinner. He left when we were done.

  There were no lingering touches, no cuddling, nothing soft but we were almost frenzied. Every time.

  We ignored each other in class, and if we saw each other on campus. It was like we were strangers.

  That continued for two weeks, until Friday night when he had his next home game.

  I went to the hockey game.

  23

  CRUZ

  “Hey, sweetie. Are you excited for the game?”

  I was suited up and ready to head out for the pregame warm-up when my mom called. Coach gave me special permission for this call. “Yeah. Are you guys here?”

  “We are! Titi can’t contain herself. And Dawn is with us too. She’s helping with the traveling. Sorry we couldn’t get here earlier to see you more. It’ll be a long night, but it’ll be worth it. Titi has wanted to go to one of your games for so long.”

  “I know. I’m just happy you guys are here.”

  Coach came through the locker room, saw me, and pointed at me. “Styles! Get on the ice.”

  “It’s that call I talked to you about earlier.”

  He frowned but looked at his watch and began shaking his head. “Wrap it up. I need you warming up. Put it all aside.”

  “It’s okay. We’ll see you afterwards. I’ll let you go. Win, baby!”

  My chest was bursting with warmth. My mom said to win, so I’d make sure we won. “Thanks, Mom.” I was getting choked up.

  She was too. “Love you, Cruz. See you after the game.”

  I headed to the ice after that.

  “Remember. Go out there. Keep your lines. Be smart. Play hard, but also, there’s a Make-a-Wish kid in the front row, section C. Sweet girl. In a wheelchair. Here with her mom and her worker. Go over, knock on the glass with your stick, give her some attention. And then after that, WIN!”

  A cheer went up.

  Sticks were hitting the floor, and everyone stood up, putting their gloves in the middle.

  A prayer was said, and Labrowski led us in a chant. It was our time to win. So, win we would.

  After that, we headed out.

  First skate around, Labrowski went first, but I moved to the back. I wanted to be last.

  Each of us went over, knocking our stick against the plexiglass in front of the little girl.

  I was last, and I circled around, facing her fully.

  She was so tiny, tinier than she should’ve been, but she was cheering and her face was flushed from all the smiling and yelling. She saw me and tried to get out of the wheelchair. Her handler rushed to her side, helping her push up from the chair. She held her up, tipping her forward until she was staring right at me, right through the plexiglass.

  She got all serious. All blonde curls and rosy cheeks and tiny hands. She held out her palm, touching the barrier between us, and I took my glove off, touching it with mine on the other side.

  Then her eyes opened wide, and the smile was going to break her face, it was so wide.

  I looked her right in the eye and mouthed, “I love you, Titi.”

  She was beaming so much. “LOVE YOU, CRUZZIE!”

  I laughed, looking at my mom beside her, who was smiling and wiping away the tears.

  I put my glove back on, and hit the plexiglass with my stick. “Love you, Mom.”

  She couldn’t say anything back. She was crying and smiling too much, but she reached out, touching the glass with her hand before I took off.

  I joined the team at our bench, and sensing the looks, I said, “The Make-a-Wish kid is my sister.”

  My coach blinked a few times. He hadn’t known that part. “The one that was in the hospital?”

  I nodded.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Titi.”

  He gave a nod before addressing the team, “Win it for Titi.”

  “FOR TITI!”

  Labrowski skated over. “You want the face-off?”

  I glanced at Coach, who shrugged. I said, “Oh, fuck yes.”

  We went hard. Pushing, pushing, pushing.

  The other team was good. They were aggressive but we matched ’em at every turn. I did and my team backed me up. Labrowski was our captain, but tonight, he was sharing it with me.

  My mom was here. Titi.

  This was for them.

  We scored. They scored.

  We scored. Them.

  It went back and forth until the third period.

  Enough.

  Coach yelled for line change, and it was first line again. We dropped onto the ice.

  I was on with Labrowski and Keys. We went back and forth until I saw an opening, and I went for it, zipping around my guy, the next guy. There was a hole. I pretended to shoot it in, but faked, used my skate to push it forward, just past the goalie on his right and I tapped it in.

  Goal!

  We were ahead, and now we had to hold them off.

  Nah.

  I was always taught the best defense was an aggressive offense, so when I hit the ice again, I took it right back to the goal. Their goalie hated me. He saw me swinging his way and I could see him get ready. Good. Fucking good. I wanted in this guy’s head.

  I repeated this every time my line went out. I pushed, and I pushed hard, until the final horn went off, signaling the end of the game.

  We won, 4-2 and I scored two of those goals. I assisted one other.

  The team must’ve planned it because as we went through with the other team, my own team circled around and each one went past me. They hit my shoulder before going to Titi and rattling the glass in front of her. She was going crazy. Tiny arms in the air. Her cheeks were red. Dried tears on her face, but I knew they were from the game, from happiness. That’s how she was. She’d also head to bed as soon as the game was done, because this would exhaust her for the next two days.

  I was the last one to go over. I pulled my helmet off as I stopped in front of them. My mom stood, pointing to the bench section and back to Titi. I frowned, not sure what she was asking, but nodded. I started back there, and once I saw my mom picking Titi up, her tiny legs dangling helplessly before she tucked them in. I knew what she wanted, what Titi wanted, and my sister’s eyes were wide and unblinking. She wasn’t looking away from me.

  I tried smiling at her but had to turn away.

  Jesus.

  I was emotional.

  My mom carried my sister to me, a blanket over her legs, and at the bench section, I stepped in and took my sister into my arms. I waited, my mom fixing the blankets over her legs until she was fully covered, and Titi tried to wrap her arms around my shoulders.

  “Settle in. It’s easier to cradle you.”

  She did, relaxing back, and I held her like she was a baby.

  The guys had gone back to the locker room, but I saw Coach waiting. I gestured to the ice, and he gave me a nod.

  I stepped out, my sister in my arms.

  The people in the stands had started to disperse, but people took forever so there was a decent amount still standing by their seats. I felt their attention.

  Titi was crying, and trying to gasp for breath, but she was smiling so hard while she was doing it.

  I did a circle and Titi tipped her head back, beaming up at me. “Again.”

  I went again.

  “Again.”

  I did a third.

  By then, the team was back, and they were watching me.

  Titi’s hands were in the air, her head fully back as I was holding her, and she wiggled. “Again, Cruz. Again!”

  I went a fourth time. This time, the team stepped on the ice and skated with us.

  She saw the guys and began trying to sit up. She wanted to see them now.

  I jerked my chin up at Labrowski, “One second.”

  I went back to our mom, and she saw what was going on. She came down and helped me adjust Titi so she was sitting more upright but I could still hold her securely. The blankets were wrapped around her legs again. Before I went back on the ice, she leaned forward and said to Titi, “One last time. That’s it.”

  “But–”

  “Your brother is tired.”

  That quieted Titi, and she leaned back against my shoulder this time.

  One last round and the guys went with us. Titi watched the whole time, waving her hand at them. Half the guys were waving back. They didn’t know what else to do. That was Titi. She was three feet from someone and waving like they were three miles away, you waved back. You had to. And you were smiling because she was beaming like she just saw the world for the first time.

  I took her back when we were done.

  Titi wrapped her arms around my neck. “Love you, Cruz.”

  I hugged her, kissing her forehead. “Love you back, Titster.”

  She giggled, and I was guessing it was Dawn, her new helper, who stepped in and took her from me. She was put back in her chair and covered all up so she wasn’t chilled. I waved a last time as the girl started to push her toward the wheelchair accessible entrance.

  My mom held back, wiping tears away from her face.

  The guys trailed past me, going to the locker room again.

  My coach was last, stopping beside me before giving my mom a nod. “Ma’am.”

  “Thank you for tonight, Coach.”

  He grinned faintly. “I’ll give you a moment.” He said to me, “You got the night off.”

  “Thanks, Coach.”

  When he left, my mom stepped closer and gave me a hug. She squeezed me so hard, whispering to me, “I love you so much.”

  “Love you too.”

  My mom sighed, stepping back, “I need to go and help Dawn.”

  “Titi will be exhausted.”

  “She’ll fight it as hard as she can, but you know how tired she’ll get. She’ll be zonked until Monday, but it was worth it. No game tomorrow?”

  I shook my head “One and done with this team. We’ll get them on the next rotation. Thanks for coming.”

  “Thank your coach for helping make it happen.”

  “He didn’t know Titi was my sister.”

  “All the more reason to thank him.” She gave me a last hug, saying again, “Love you and so proud of you!”

  A third hug before she pulled away, hurrying toward where Titi was taken. Normal circumstances, they’d get a hotel and I could see them tonight or in the morning, but not with Titi. They had a two-hour drive back home because she’d need her bed and her specialized equipment. She always slept better in her own bed.

  “She’s gotten smaller. I didn’t know that could happen.”

  I tensed, not able to believe she’d approach me now.

  Sabrina Burford, who went to my high school, was standing on the other side of the plexiglass. Her face was ashen, and I saw her blink back some tears before she tried wiping them away.

  A rage of fury began rolling through me. “Eat shit, Sabrina.”

  I headed in, knowing she better not gasp in outrage. She should’ve been expecting my response, especially after tonight.

  She didn’t, but I was in a mood.

  I wanted to get drunk and fuck the rest of the night. I wanted to forget the reason my sister was how she was.

  After getting to the locker room, showering and changing, I texted Mara.

  Me: I need a full night.

  There’d be parties galore going on tonight, but she responded as if expecting my text.

  Mara: I’m at your truck.

  24

  MARA

  He had showered, and he was dressed in a hockey sweatshirt and jeans. He looked edible, but I saw him in there. Saw her. Saw how he loved her, and my chest burned from envy. I had no idea what it was like having a family member love you as much as he loved his sister, or how much she loved him.