Laura tossed in a capelin and thanked her for her kiss. “One of the best I’ve ever had,” Laura said before wiping her fingers across her wet lips.

  Jillian’s foothold was weak, and it had nothing to do with the natural layer of algae covering the bottom. A rush of heat spread up inside her thighs and settled warmly between her legs. She could taste the salty tinge that would linger on Laura’s lips long after she tried to wipe it away. She coughed and pulled at the tight collar of her wet suit that was cutting off the oxygen to her brain. “Okay, uhm, right.”

  To help her refocus on the task at hand, Jillian ran through a variety of basic commands. After flipping Pepper over in a present fluke’s position, she showed Laura how they perform blood draws and urine collections. Jillian hoped that turning their attention toward a more scientific course, she could regain some control over her raging hormones. Thanks to Pepper, that was easier than she’d expected when she decided now was the perfect time to release her bladder, tingeing the water around them with a yellow haze. “Thanks for that,” Jillian said, waving her hand through the water to help with the dispersal.

  “Oh, the glamour of working with animals,” Laura said with a chuckle.

  “Could’ve been worse.” Jillian sent Pepper off for a quick playful lap as she led Laura closer to the drop-off.

  “Now the real test begins, huh?” Laura said quietly.

  “Soon. But not quite yet.” Jillian saw the doubt begin to creep in again, and she cupped her hands against Laura’s cheeks. She shouldn’t have, but it was too late to pull away. “Look at me. You’re safe. I’m not going to make you do anything you aren’t ready for. Okay?”

  “I’m not even sure I’m ready to be here, but I am.” Laura put her hands on Jillian’s and took a deep breath. “I’m scared,” Laura said almost too quietly to be heard.

  “I know you are, but look at where you are. See how far you’ve come. The most important trait to have in this field is initiative and you’ve got it in spades. You are fearless.”

  Laura squeezed her eyes closed. “I wish.”

  Jillian resisted the urge to brush her fingers across to Laura’s face. “Is there anything in this life worth doing if it doesn’t scare the shit out of you?”

  Laura dropped her hands from Jillian’s, but she didn’t move her own. “Easy for you to say. I bet there isn’t a thing in this world that you’re afraid of.”

  You, for starters. “Not true. But this isn’t about me.”

  Laura sighed. “I can tread water. Not forever, but for a bit.”

  Jillian took her hands away from Laura’s face and smiled. “Good, that’s my girl.” Why did she just say that? She cringed inside but pushed past it quickly. “We’re going to swim out to the center, there,” she said as she pointed toward the middle of the lagoon. “We’ll tread just long enough for Pepper to set up. About thirty seconds or so.”

  “That’s it?” Laura asked with a faint rattle in her voice.

  “Yep.” Jillian signaled for Pepper to return from her free swim and tossed her a block of Jell-O.

  Laura gave Pepper a good rub near her dorsal. Jillian was encouraged by how Laura’s demeanor changed just having Pepper near. She positioned herself on Pepper, showing Laura how she needed to place her own hands when it was time.

  “Shut up. I’m doing that? Shut the hell up.”

  Jillian laughed at Laura’s absolute inability to hide any emotion, or willingness to for that matter. Jillian called out to one of her nearby trainers, “Ben, set up for me? Dorsal pull.”

  “Wait. What? You’re not going out there with me?” Laura’s face blanched.

  “It’s okay. I’m going to be right over there,” Jillian said, pointing toward the shore where they’d entered the lagoon. “Ben’s going to set you up and then Pepper will bring you straight to me. You’ll be able to see me the whole time I promise.” Laura’s expression softened and the color began to return to her face.

  “Oh…uhm. Okay.” Laura’s voice still trembled.

  “Get on with Ben, get off with me.” Jillian closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief at what she had just said. “That’s not…I didn’t mean…”

  “Get off with you. Got it.” Laura laughed wickedly, and Jillian’s knees nearly buckled. Her color was back to normal now.

  “Go. I’ll be waiting for you over there.” Laura paused at the edge of the drop, and turned to look back at Jillian for reassurance.

  “You’ve got this.” Jillian waded over to Laura’s side. “Just ease yourself in,” she said as she demonstrated a slow squat into the water. When she was shoulders deep, Jillian pushed herself out toward Ben. She spun around to face Laura and waited for her to do the same.

  Laura’s eyes locked on to hers, and Jillian refused to break that connection. If Laura needed to know that she was there for her, she would stare forever. Laura began to sink, and Jillian nodded. When she pushed herself out toward Jillian, she gasped at the shock of the cool water enveloping her. Jillian could hear Laura’s short, puffing breaths as she paddled toward her. Their eyes still locked on each other, Jillian moved backward through the water as Laura got closer.

  Jillian didn’t dare take her eyes off Laura’s until they made it the entire way. She welled with pride for Laura, and for her determination to fight her illness at every turn. When she could give up and retreat, she pushed forward. Jillian was in awe of her.

  “Guess what?” Jillian asked, having reached the setup point.

  “What?” Laura’s breaths quick and shallow.

  “You did it.” Jillian pushed away from Laura who looked around in surprise. As Ben and Laura waited for Pepper, Jillian swam back to the shallows to wait for them. Laura grabbed Pepper’s dorsal and pectoral fins and within seconds, she was riding Pepper’s wake as they raced toward her. Laura’s smile spread wide across her beautiful face, and she squealed in delight. Jillian was certain she’d never seen anyone or anything more perfect.

  Chapter Eleven

  “Amazing? That’s all the detail I get?” BJ said as he tossed out several items from the storage room.

  Laura picked up a giant Kong big enough for an elephant and tucked it under her arm like a basketball. “Well, it was amazing.”

  First, he handed her one of the two orange mooring buoys. Then, he tossed the rope that held together what looked like dolphin-sized nunchucks over her shoulder. “I have no doubt. But you’re being weird about it.”

  She groaned under the weight of all the stuff he was piling on top of her. “I’m not being weird. And will you stop giving me all this shit?” She shifted her shoulders to adjust her load.

  “I’m only giving you shit because you’re being vague and cagey.”

  “Not that kind of shit.” Laura raised her arms as best she could with everything she had in them. “This shit.”

  “I know,” he said, picking up the other orange buoy and the large white docking cushion.

  It wasn’t like she didn’t want to tell him about every single thing that had happened. She’d replayed it over and over in her head about a thousand times by now. But how could she explain to him what had happened if she left out all the stuff about Jillian? About how she’d held her so protectively and given her the strength she needed to push through. How she had held her face in her strong hands and stared deep into her soul. How their bodies had pressed into each other so perfectly in those brief moments when she swore that Jillian was going to kiss her.

  “Yo, Laura. Where are you going?” BJ called out to her as she missed the turn onto the path that led to the modules.

  “Sorry,” she said as she hustled under the weight of her load to catch up.

  “That’s not good enough. We have two whole hours of babysitting ahead of us. You’re going to spill, so just start now.”

  “It was a—”

  “I swear to God if you say amazing one more time.”

  But it was. Sure, she could find other adjectives to describe it, but they’d all mean the same thing. Maybe she could tell him that it was life changing, inspiring, unbelievable, a dream come true, but Laura knew what he really wanted to know. Her attraction to Jillian was no secret. At least not to BJ, or Brooke for that matter. He had pretty much called her out on that day one.

  The problem wasn’t that he knew. It was that her feelings for Jillian were far from appropriate. That much was evident the day in the parking lot with Officer Williams after making herself look like a complete ass because of an ass. Oh, but what an ass it was. However, now Jillian had become so much more than just a delectable body part.

  “It was the best day of my life,” Laura said when they reached the series of octagonal honeycomb enclosures where the animals could be observed in a more controlled environment.

  “Now we’re talking,” BJ said as he tossed his buoy and cushion into the water. “Play time, my lovelies.”

  Laura threw in the tethered rolls and set the others up on the step of the observation chair. She leaned forward against a wall while Kaipo, Kaius, and Pepper each picked out their favorite toy. Laura almost couldn’t believe that she’d been in the water with Pepper. So much had happened in the short time that she’d been at the institute. She still had trouble accepting that it wasn’t a cruel illusion.

  “Have you told Brooke how you feel about her yet?” Laura asked.

  “What? No. Why would I do that?” BJ’s eyes almost popped out of his head.

  “Since you’re forcing me to talk about my feelings for Jillian I figured turnabout was fair play.”

  “First of all, I never even mentioned a thing about your feelings for Jillian. I just wanted to know how your day went because you were avoiding it. But it makes much more sense now.”

  “You can’t say anything. To anyone,” Laura said, pointing her finger at him. She thought that it was almost guaranteed that he’d tell Brooke before the day was out.

  He cocked his head, pursed his lips, and leered at her. “Fucking seriously?”

  “I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything. It’s all moving so fast. For the first time in years, I swam. Not like shallow, kiddie pool swimming. But like, can’t touch the bottom, treading water, kind of swimming.” Laura wouldn’t have believed it if she hadn’t been there herself. “Granted I didn’t go under and had Jillian there with me, but I did it.”

  BJ grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her an excited shake. “That’s amazing,” he said and then laughed once he realized what he had said. “You know what I mean.”

  “I told you. But…”

  “But what? No buts.”

  “What if Jillian hadn’t been there? I don’t think I could have done it without her.” Jillian had her so distracted the whole time that a few times Laura nearly forgot where she was. All she had to do was touch her or look into her eyes, and it was like she was under a spell. As if Jillian was somehow giving her the strength she didn’t have within herself.

  “Of course, you couldn’t have. That’s kind of the point isn’t it?” he said.

  She supposed he was right. Laura knew she wouldn’t have been there without her. But that’s not what she meant. She tried to imagine having anyone else holding her, supporting her, or believing in her more than she believed in herself. What if that was the illusion?

  “What happens when the day comes that she isn’t holding my hands in hers? When I’m standing on the ledge alone?”

  “You seem to be under some ridiculous notion that she somehow kicked your arms and legs for you or some shit. You did that, Laura, not Jillian.”

  “Yeah, but.”

  “No. Stop with the fucking buts already. Sure, she was there holding your hand. Yes, she kept you distracted by her bangin’ body and smoldering eyes, or whatever. But you can’t possibly think that she’s what kept you afloat out there, can you?”

  Laura caught the flying nunchucks as Kaius whipped them at her head like a water ninja. “Not today, buddy,” she said, tossing them back into the pool where he was waiting.

  “See, even he was trying to knock some sense into you.” BJ bent over the wall to push a rogue cushion back into the water.

  “I know. I know. She just has me so twisted around. And then when I thought she was going to kiss me, I—”

  “What?” he said, springing up off the wall from the other side. “Shut up.”

  Butterflies swarmed in her belly just thinking about it. The way Jillian had licked her own lips and bit down on the plump bottom one so softly. Her body had reacted with a hunger that rippled through her. A feeling not much different from the one she endured now. “Oh yeah. Thank God one of us had our wits, because I’m not sure I’d have been able to stop what she started.”

  “What she started?”

  “Yes. She started this nonsense two months ago with her charming smile and tight ass while making delightfully random conversation at the coffee machine.”

  “That’s not weird and specific or anything,” he said, raising his eyebrows.

  It might have been so. But since that moment Laura had been both unable and unwilling to get Jillian out of her mind. With every encounter they had, she managed to ingrain herself more firmly within Laura’s very being. The truth of it both thrilled and terrified her for reasons that she wasn’t sure she understood.

  “So, Brooke. What’s going on there?”

  “Nothing.” BJ smiled and his face flushed, contradicting the tone in his voice.

  “Oh, hell no, man. After the coals you just dragged me over? No such luck, buddy.”

  “Dude. Our situations are hardly the same.” He rested his elbows on the wall and leaned forward onto them.

  Laura did the same. “They’re identical. We both have crushes on women who already know even though we like to pretend they have no idea.”

  “That’s a gross simplification of the facts, and you know it.”

  Sometimes Laura forgot that BJ had to hide a part of who he was out of fear and misunderstanding. He was such a genuine and attractive man who was wise beyond his years. She just adored him so damn much. “Do you trust her?”

  “It’s not always about trust. But yes, I do,” he said.

  “And you like her, right? As in romantically,” she asked.

  “I know what you’re going to say. It’s better to know now than to wait.”

  “Not at all what I was going to say, but I like it so pretend I said it.”

  “Zeno thanks you for that, Pepper,” BJ said after she had bumped the buoy over into the adjoining module.

  Instead of fishing it back from Zeno’s pool, Laura chucked in the dolphin-sized Kong. “Look, she likes you. That’s obvious. Just be honest with her, like you were with me.”

  “And if she doesn’t respond like you did?”

  “Then she’s not as cool as I am and not worth another second of your time.” Laura smiled and bumped his shoulder with hers. “Right?”

  “You do know that cool people don’t actually call themselves cool, right?”

  * * *

  Jillian leaned over the stack of books and papers that were piled all around her dining table. She stretched for her open laptop trying not to topple any of them over in the process. She sat and opened her computer in front of her, there was a knock at the front door. Jillian paused for a moment knowing that she’d left the door unlocked earlier, and if it were anyone she knew, they’d just let themselves in.

  When she heard the door open, she was surprised to feel a twinge of disappointment that it wasn’t an impromptu visit from Laura. Disappointment made way for a tingle of curiosity at the thought of having Laura alone in her home. That feeling was brushed away when Diana came into the kitchen. Jillian closed her laptop and leaned against the back of the chair.

  “What’s all this?” Diana picked up a couple of the books and turned them over in her hands.

  “Just some research for a project I’m working on,” Jillian said, reaching out to take the them back from Diana.

  “That project wouldn’t happen to have a name, would it? Maybe, I don’t know, Laura Carter?” Diana set the books back down instead of handing them to Jillian.

  Laura was the inspiration for expanding her research idea, but it wasn’t about her. And besides, where would Diana even get the idea that this stuff had anything to do with Laura? “What are you talking about?”

  “I saw the two of you working with Pepper the other day. A rather intimate little one-on-one session it seemed.”

  Jillian had been there. She’d also replayed the entire day in her head several times since then, but she would hardly have called it intimate. Except for those few fleeting moments she held Laura in her arms resisting the urge to kiss her. “I’m not sure what you saw, but it wasn’t that.”

  “You seem to forget that we used to be a thing. I’m more than qualified to make that call.” Diana set her hands on Jillian’s shoulders. She purred into her ear, “Remember?”

  Uncomfortable with the contact, Jillian stood and took her coffee mug to the microwave. She noticed that it was just about empty, so she poured a fresh cup instead. “Well, it’s the wrong call. I guarantee that whatever you thought you saw was well…not what you thought you saw.”

  “Okay. Then what was it?” Diana sat at the table intent on getting to the bottom of something. “Why would the director of education be taking such an interest in one particularly attractive trainee?”

  Jillian had two options. She could either let Diana continue with this uncomfortable and invasive investigation or she could just tell the truth. The problem was that both had the potential to blow up in her face.

  Diana wouldn’t let go until she had the answers she sought, even if she had to twist and tie Jillian into some sort of confession that corroborated the ideas she had in her head. “Look, Jillian. I get it. She’s young, smart, beautiful, and has one hell of a body.”