Jillian was pleased to hear that the agencies were in full cooperation and rescue was imminent. It would no doubt be a long and arduous day, but also a rewarding and memorable one. “Who wants to get muddy?”

  Everyone including Laura raised their hands. “Then let’s go.” Jillian shooed everyone back into the van waving her hands at her sides like she was herding ducks.

  She was relieved that they were moving downstream away from the place of Laura’s worst nightmare. The terror she saw in her face was heartbreaking, and Jillian somehow succeeded in turning her fear into anger instead of dispelling it. She hoped that the detailed information from Fletcher as well as the site change would allow Laura to regain her focus and forge through.

  Chapter Thirteen

  After nine hours wading through muddy, waist deep water and lifting over four tons of manatee, Laura was ragged, but she wasn’t alone in her pain. The van was filled with nine other filthy, weary, and wild individuals. The energy in the vehicle was energized and joyful, with everyone retelling the day from their own personal and unique perspectives. Laura was positive that while they were all a part of the same rescue, no one had the same story to tell.

  BJ was sitting next to her picking flakes of dried mud off the back of his arm. Laura on the other hand was content to let the hardened muck solidify and serve as her temporary memento until the shower washed it away. However, she still didn’t appreciate BJ adding to it by brushing his own crustiness off onto her.

  “You’re making a mess. I hope you get stuck cleaning that out of the van,” she said, nudging him to stop.

  “I can’t believe you’re just sitting there covered in swamp sludge and manatee shit like it’s totally normal.”

  “Dude, this is my badge of honor, and I’m going to wear it proudly. At least until I strip down naked and burn these things in a trash fire.” While she was proud of her disgusting shell, she couldn’t deny that she smelled like a skunk ape and there wasn’t a shred of hope of washing it out of her clothes.

  “You were so great out there today. I admit I was really nervous for you. I had a whole plan worked out in my mind in case you had an attack or something.”

  “Aww. Thanks. I did all right, I think.” Laura had done all right. She waded into the sludge and helped lift thousands of pounds of unimaginable weight onto her shoulders. She had a hand in one of the most rewarding endeavors she could ever be involved in.

  “All right? You are a rock star, Laura. You didn’t even hesitate when they told you to get in. Even I was overwhelmed by the whole chaos of it,” he said.

  Laura knew that wasn’t entirely true. She had plenty of doubts and wanted on more than one occasion to throw up her breakfast. “Wading through water isn’t the problem anymore. It’s as soon as I go under. My face touches the water and it takes me right back there.”

  “That’s good though. You used to not be able to go anywhere near the water. Now look at you! Rescuing manatees and swimming with dolphins and shit.” He gave her a light punch in the arm.

  Laura laughed at the simplicity of it, although it was anything but, and it had taken her a decade to get that far. “Yeah. But at this rate I’ll be forty before I can put my face under water.”

  “I think your math is off. But I get it.”

  Laura wondered if she would ever get there whether it was by the time she turned forty or not. She had to hope that if she had gotten this far in the last few weeks that she wouldn’t still be trying after twelve years.

  “Maybe I’ll just keep my day job and hang around shallow ponds on the weekends saving manatees.”

  “Shut up. You’ve made more progress in two weeks with Jillian’s help than you’ve done in a decade on your own. It’s clear that something is working.”

  Laura hadn’t seen Jillian except for a few moments the entire day. It almost felt as though she had put as much space between them as possible. And considering that they were working within a relatively limited area, she did it well. Laura had attempted to get Jillian’s attention when she could, but her eyes were anywhere other than Laura. She had hurt Jillian’s feelings that morning. It had been obvious when she removed her hand from her face. It wasn’t that she didn’t want Jillian’s touch on her skin, it was very much the opposite, and that’s why she had gotten angry.

  She’d already been feeling overly dependent when Jillian had touched her; she could feel a need rise inside her. But Laura couldn’t need her. Needing her would mean that everything she’d worked for relied on someone else and was so easily lost. Yet today she had gone in the water, schlepped through the muck, and rescued seven helpless animals all because of her.

  Laura looked up into the mirror, and to her surprise and delight saw Jillian staring back at her. The gaze that she’d searched for all day was there, waiting for her. This time she didn’t shy away when Jillian smiled back at her.

  The energy in the van was beginning to settle as the excitement of the day wore off. The sun had dipped below the horizon, turning the sky outside into an abstract painting of orange and purple. The glow illuminated Jillian’s face in a warm, ethereal light. The loud conversations faded into mumbles and murmurs as passengers began to succumb to exhaustion. But not Laura.

  She fought against the urge to lean back and let the hum and sway of the road lull her to sleep. She wanted to spend this time memorizing the lines and edges on Jillian’s face as if she’d never again have the chance. The lights and shadows flashed and danced over her unique features and her tightly clenched jaw. She’d become rather fond of the small scar beneath her eye on the ridge of her cheekbone that she’d never noticed until now.

  When the bright interior light of the van blazed through her eyelids, she realized she’d lost her battle to stay awake. As she climbed out behind the others, her muscles screamed with stiffness and the hard, dry mud cracked and crumbled from her skin. It wasn’t even seven o’clock, but Laura couldn’t wait to get into her bed. After she showered off whatever Florida microbes had begun to set up residence on her body, she would do just that.

  Everyone else had the same idea and were practically stripping as they sprinted toward the dorms. Not even Brooke or BJ waited for her to get all the way out of the vehicle before they took off without her. She didn’t even bother with rushing, as there weren’t enough shower stalls for everyone at once anyway. She might have to wait, but the perk was that she could take her sweet time.

  A hand reached out for her as she stepped out of the van. Laura recognized several scattered freckles and smiled before she even looked up. She was quite capable of getting her aged self out of a car, but took the opportunity to hold Jillian’s hand anyway.

  “Thanks,” Laura said, stepping down but still holding on to Jillian.

  “My pleasure.”

  Whoa. Those words were guaranteed to echo in her mind all night. When Jillian made the move to release her, Laura held fast. She wanted to apologize for her behavior earlier and that included pushing Jillian’s hand away. “About this morning—”

  Jillian interrupted. “It’s fine.” She tugged at her hand, but Laura squeezed tighter and stepped toward her.

  “No. It wasn’t.” She now held Jillian’s hand in both of hers. “I was scared and frustrated, and I lashed out at you. I didn’t mean it.”

  “You weren’t wrong though. I don’t know what I’m doing, Laura. Not really. But I know that I wanted to do something.”

  “Well, it’s working. Shit is sticking, or I wouldn’t have been able to do what I did today. Not without you.”

  “But you did do it without me. I made sure I didn’t get within a hundred feet of you today. That was all you, my sweet girl.”

  Laura stomach somersaulted and a knot formed in her throat. Her sweet girl? She just called me her sweet girl. Laura’s mind was blank.

  “I’m proud of you, Laura.”

  The butterflies in her belly were in full flight, and she couldn’t think of two words to string together. “I…stink,” Laura blurted out, and Jillian laughed. “Christ almighty. I’m a train wreck. That was supposed to be ‘I need a shower,’ but…yeah.” If anyone could ruin a moment it was Laura.

  “I agree. Not that you stink, but about the shower.”

  “Right. Well, I should go now.”

  “Me too,” Jillian said, closing the doors to the van. “Hey, wait.”

  Laura had taken just a single step when Jillian called her back. “Yeah?”

  “Will you help me with something tomorrow?”

  “Of course, with what?” It didn’t matter what it was, Laura was going to do it.

  “Just a thing” Jillian said.

  “Okay.” She had no idea what it was and was excited about it anyway.

  * * *

  The common room of the residence hall was quiet when Jillian arrived to pick up Laura. She at least expected two or three people to be milling about or plopped on the couch watching television or something. But there was no one. It seemed that the older she got the less she understood the younger generations and their addiction to sleep. Jillian tried to remember the last time she’d slept in, as even on her days off she was out of bed with her first cup of coffee by six a.m. Here it was nine and not a soul had roused.

  As she headed toward Laura’s room, she hoped that she wasn’t one of them.

  To Jillian’s relief she hadn’t even knocked when Laura stepped out into the hall already dressed and ready to go. Jillian’s heart skipped a beat at seeing her in something other than institute blue. While Laura could probably make a straightjacket look attractive, the hot pink T-shirt and form-fitting jeans were far more beckoning. “You look nice.”

  Laura smiled, and her face brightened a few shades closer to the shirt, and she thanked her. Jillian almost felt like she should’ve handed her flowers or a corsage as they stood there awkwardly at Laura’s door. Of course, she hadn’t intended on this being a date, or even date like. Except she wasn’t sure what else to call it. Although why did she have to call it anything? It was just two people going out for the day. But not going out like on a date. Her mind was a whirl. Jillian had plenty of reasons to be nervous, none of which had been because she didn’t know what to call this other than a date. That was until now, of course. Oh, for goodness sake’s, what’s wrong with me? “Shall we go?” Jillian asked.

  “Yes. Unless your plan had been to stand here in the hallway all day.”

  Jillian laughed. “Well, not anymore.” What she had in mind was the opposite of standing around all day. So long as she could make it from there to her truck without backing out, it would prove to be much more exciting as well.

  Laura paused when they got to the parking lot, and Jillian looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. I just don’t have any idea what you drive.”

  Jillian hadn’t even thought about it, but she was feeling playful. “What do you think I drive?”

  “Seriously?” Laura raised her eyebrow.

  “Yes. Which of these do you think is mine?”

  “All right. I’ll play,” Laura said, tapping her fingers on her lips as she perused the cars in the lot. Jillian crossed her arms and chuckled at her serious contemplation. “Hmm. It must be something practical, but not dated, like an old Buick.”

  “Right, and because I’m not a silver haired, eighty-year-old,” Jillian said.

  “But you are older so it’s not going to be a bright orange Mini Cooper either.”

  “Hey, I could drive one of those.”

  “No. Because that’s BJ’s car. Yours is practical, dependable, useful but strong, attractive, tough, and shiny,” Laura said.

  “Shiny?”

  “Yes. The woman who would circle a million invisible fish scales wouldn’t possibly have any spots on her black Silverado 1500 backed into that corner spot under the lamppost.”

  Jillian’s mouth fell open. “There’s no way you just guessed that. Impossible.”

  “I didn’t guess. I made several very keen observations based on the most dominant traits of your personality and deduced the most obvious answer from the choices available.” Laura smiled and headed out toward Jillian’s truck.

  “No. Way.”

  “What? I have a graduate degree in animal behavior, I know a few things.” Laura stopped at the front of Jillian’s truck with a cocky smirk on her adorable face.

  “So, you’re telling me that you somehow psychoanalyzed me with your shrinkie brain tricks to figure out which of these forty cars was mine.” Jillian set her hands on her hips.

  “Sorta.” Laura was clearly amused with herself, but Jillian found it impossible to believe that she’d done anything but guess that the truck was hers. Jillian poked Laura’s side, and she almost leapt out of her skin.

  “Oh my gosh, you’re ticklish,” Jillian said as she stepped closer to Laura.

  “Don’t. No.” Laura backed away, but she was trapped by Jillian’s truck. One arm was wrapped around her waist and held her side, while she held out her other hand to stop Jillian.

  “Tell me how you knew and I’ll spare you.” She took another step closer.

  “Jillian, don’t. Oh my God.” Laura laughed nervously as she pressed both hands against Jillian’s chest.

  “Tell me.” Jillian’s hands hovered at Laura’s sides.

  “Okay. Okay. I’ll tell you,” Laura said, but Jillian didn’t withdraw or back away.

  She was enjoying everything about having Laura in her arms pleading with her. She set her hands on her waist but didn’t tickle her. Instead she pulled her tight up against her body and looked into Laura’s surprised eyes. Jillian tilted her head and Laura’s hand slid up to her shoulders. Their lips were but a breath apart. “Tell me,” she whispered against her mouth.

  Laura’s lips parted ever so slightly in response. Her darkened eyes called to her, and she was afraid that she’d started something she couldn’t finish. Jillian’s legs shook, and a flood of heat rushed between them. She wanted to take Laura right there against her truck. The feeling of Laura’s soft breasts pressed against her fueled the need building inside her.

  “I cheated,” Laura said, breaking the spell between them.

  “How?” Jillian’s fingers dug into Laura’s side, eliciting a high-pitched screech.

  “Your…your shirt,” she responded laughing breathlessly.

  Jillian let Laura go and looked at herself. She stretched her shirt out before her. “Well, I’ll be dammed.” On the front of her black vintage T-shirt was a faded image of a Chevy logo and the word Silverado running down the left side of her chest.

  “Only lesbians and rednecks wear shirts advertising what they drive.”

  Jillian lunged for Laura who narrowly escaped her grasp. “Get in the truck before I change my mind about today.”

  Laura opened the door and jumped into the vehicle. “Where are we going?”

  As she got into the truck, Jillian almost changed her mind. Not because she didn’t want to fulfill her plan, but because she just wanted to be with Laura, and it didn’t matter if they just spent the whole day driving aimlessly across the state. “Remember when you asked me if there was anything I was afraid of?”

  “I do, and I’m sorry about that. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “No worries. It’s a fair comment to make when someone without any fear is telling you how to overcome it. But I’m not without fear.”

  “Heights, right?” Laura asked.

  “Yes. But unlike you I’ve never confronted it,” Jillian said.

  “Never?”

  “No. Not head-on the way that you do, that’s for sure.”

  “Oh, dear God, don’t tell me that you’ve gotten some wild hair up your ass to go sky diving or some shit?” Laura looked over at Jillian with wide eyes.

  “Oh, hell no.” The thought of getting in a plane made her queasy, jumping out of one was out of the question. “But it’s still sort of a wild hair idea. Just wait. There’s some back story.” Jillian started the truck and they were on their way.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “When I was ten or eleven, I had the worst crush on my oldest brother’s girlfriend. One day he busted me drawing her name on my notebook with little hearts and flowers all around it.”

  “Oh, man.” Laura cringed.

  “Yeah, well, turns out he wasn’t so concerned about my crush on her as much as he was about the fact that I liked another girl. I’m not sure I thought much about liking other girls and that it wasn’t ‘normal’ until he told me that it wasn’t. I just knew that I had two older brothers, and I wanted to be just like them.”

  “Aww, a little tomboy Jillian.”

  “Very much. So much so that I’d do anything to prove just how much like them I was. Well, when he told me that I wasn’t ‘man’ enough to get a girl like Rachel, I thought he meant I didn’t have the guts or whatnot. I told him I could do anything he could but better, and I’d prove it.”

  “And what could go wrong with that?” Laura chuckled.

  “Right? So, on our way home from the bus stop that day we passed by a vacant construction site where they were building a new house. A huge one, with the fancy Spanish tile roof. So, he dared me to climb up onto the roof to prove myself.”

  “You didn’t.”

  “Of course I did. And it was fine going up. I climbed out a loft window on the second story and then scaled up the side of the eve to the peak that sort of hung out over the front.” Laura gasped next to her. “Yep, and that’s where I lost my nerve. As soon as I looked down I froze. My brother looked like a tiny ant on the ground looking up at me.”

  “Oh, Jillian.” The concern in Laura’s sweet voice was comforting.

  “I tried to get down, but my feet kept slipping on the tiles and it was so much more steep looking down than up. It could’ve been the roof of the Empire State Building, that’s how it felt. My fingers were tucked under the lip of the rough tile and it was cutting into them because I was holding on so tight, and the tiles were so hot they were burning my legs through my shorts. All I could do was scream for my brother to save me.” She remembered how scared she had been but also how helpless her brother looked when he couldn’t save her.