“I’m doing great, thanks.” That was true, except for the apprehension she was feeling now. Though she kept that to herself.

  “I know that Liz filled us in on the incident from yesterday, and I’m very relieved that it wasn’t worse.”

  “You and me both.” Jillian chuckled.

  “It’s important that we ensure not only the safety of our animals in our care, but our staff. We are a family after all.” Jillian was beginning to think this whole show was for nothing more than a cover-your-ass meeting.

  “I wholeheartedly agree. And I’m thankful for Nate’s and Diana’s and everyone’s exceptional response to the situation,” Jillian said sincerely.

  “As are we,” Mr. Allen added.

  Jillian made a move to push herself from the table assuming that they’d checked all the boxes to absolve themselves of any liability. She understood an accident like this could ruin them. “Everything is good,” Jillian said.

  “Not exactly,” Liz said, motioning for Jillian to keep her seat.

  “What do you mean?” Jillian leaned forward and rested her arms on the table, clasping her hands together in front of her.

  Beck opened a folder in front of him and flipped through a few pages before asking, “How well do you know the trainees in your program?”

  Jillian thought about it for a moment. Except for Laura and BJ, she knew little more than what was in their admissions packets. “I suppose I know them just well enough to know they belong here. Less than most of my staff, I suppose. I don’t usually get involved once they’ve been accepted into the program.”

  “Are you aware of any physical or mental issues disclosed during the medical evaluation and release?”

  “Yes.” That was part of the admissions process, of course she was. “What are you getting at, Beck?” This HR legalese nonsense was annoying.

  “It’s been brought to our attention that one of the trainees in the program has a disorder that was not disclosed during the application process.”

  Jillian’s heart leapt into her throat and threatened to choke her. How the hell would he know that? “I see,” she said.

  “Did you know that Laura Carter has PTSD?” Liz asked point-blank.

  Jillian brought her clasped hands to her mouth and blew out an audible exhale from her nose. “Yes, but—”

  Beck cut her off. “Was a special exception made for her in order for her to stay in the program?”

  “No.”

  “So, you didn’t establish an extracurricular training schedule for Miss Carter in order to keep her with the institute?”

  “Yes.”

  “Which is it? Yes or no?”

  Jillian couldn’t get more than one word between their rapid-fire question. “No and yes. You asked two different questions.” Her temper was beginning to flare, and she rubbed her hands on her thighs. “No, there was no special exception. Unless that’s what you’re calling the supplemental sessions I created to help her. But I didn’t change her schedule, and it didn’t impact her existing classes at all. Laura, err…Ms. Carter maintained the same course and work schedule as the other trainees.”

  She sat silently in the room as everyone else shuffled around papers and scribbled down Lord only knows what. Jillian rubbed her forehead, pinching the skin across her brow. She tried to make eye contact with Liz, but she looked anywhere except at Jillian. It was obvious that this meeting had nothing to do with the accident and everything to do with Laura. She just didn’t know why.

  “How has her disorder affected her performance?” Beck asked.

  “It’s not an issue anymore. She’s moved mountains to overcome this, and in my opinion it’s the least remarkable thing about her.”

  There was no way in hell she would ever say that Laura didn’t deserve to be there. And if that’s what they were fishing for they were going to be there a while. Jillian would fight every accusation or suggestion that she recommended sending Laura away.

  “At any point has Miss Carter been in danger or put anyone else in danger while at the institute?” Mrs. Allen asked.

  “Absolutely not.”

  “Are you defending her and your decision to help her based on your intimate relationship with Miss Carter?” Mr. Allen added.

  Jillian’s stomach somersaulted, and the blood rushed to her head making her dizzy. She clenched her jaw so hard she thought her teeth might crack. “I don’t know where you heard any such thing, but I suggest you think twice about whatever it is you plan to say next.”

  “Are you denying that you and Miss Carter are involved?” Beck asked.

  “Whatever involvement I have with Laura is personal and in no way conflicts or interferes with my professional decisions as this institute’s educational director.” Jillian pumped her fists slowly beneath the table.

  “Jillian, surely you can understand that from where we sit it appears that your romantic relationship with Miss Carter may be clouding your judgment and giving the impression of favoritism,” Liz said.

  “Are you kidding me?” Jillian stood up. “I was dating Diana for over a year and it was never an issue. Liz, that’s not how I am, and you know that.”

  “Perception is reality, Miss Marshall,” Beck said.

  “I understand that, Beck.” The zing of sarcasm Jillian had added to his name was stronger than she’d intended.

  “He’s right. You’re her boss, Jillian. Diana wasn’t your subordinate at the time and certainly not a trainee in your program. Do you think there’s a possibility that Miss Carter may have put herself into your path for her advantage?”

  Jillian was on the edge of rage. It was a feeling she’d never experienced before. While Laura had made mistakes, this one was hers alone, and there wasn’t a chance in hell she’d allow Laura to carry any of the blame. She took several deep breaths as she gripped the back of the chair with stark, white knuckles. “Absolutely not,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “Jillian, please sit,” Liz said. Her knees were quivering beneath her, so she did. Jillian crossed her arms over her chest but remained silent.

  It was Beck who delivered the final blow. “Jillian, as of now we are placing you on administrative leave for the next two weeks while we conclude this inquiry and determine our next course of action.”

  Jillian heard very little of whatever was said next. Her ears were pulsing with the sound of the blood racing through her veins, and her head drummed along with the beat. “…No animals… Revoke access… Off limits…” Few other words broke through. What she did make out through the haze was that she could stay in the house until a final determination was made, but until then she could have no contact with any staff, trainees, or animals within the park. She was silent as she left the room.

  * * *

  Jillian’s voice reverberated out into the lobby, and Katie refused to look up from whatever had her laser focused attention on her desk. Laura’s leg vibrated as she clenched the arms of her chair. It took all her senses to remain seated and not rush out of the room to find Jillian. Something had her in a wrath, and Laura could not only hear it, she could feel it. When she heard a door open, she jumped up from her seat.

  Laura’s heart squeezed when she saw Jillian appear in the doorway behind Katie. Her face was red, and her lips were clamped tight. Laura lunged for her, and Jillian stopped short without looking up from the floor. When Laura reached to take her hand, Jillian pulled it away as if afraid of being burned.

  “Baby? What’s wrong?” Laura asked.

  “Laura, they’ll see you now,” Katie called out to her.

  “They’re calling you, Laura,” Jillian said.

  “Okay. They can wait a second. What happened?” Laura tried once again to touch Jillian, but she stepped back away from her. The distance she had just put between them was more than physical, and the string between their hearts pulled tight.

  When Jillian looked up at Laura, the wind was knocked from her chest. There was so much pain and sadness in her eyes it tore into Laura’s core.

  “Laura?” Katie called again.

  “Give me a minute, please,” Laura said.

  “Go, Laura.”

  “No. Not until you tell me what happened.”

  The scarlet blood rushed up from her neck and she snapped. “They found out about us.” It was almost a growl.

  “So.”

  “And they suspended me, Laura. I’m banned from you, the park, and the pod. All of it.”

  Laura’s heart shattered so hard she almost heard it. She felt like she’d been kicked in the guts. “What? They can’t do that.”

  “Well, they did,” Jillian said.

  Katie stepped over to them and pleaded with Laura. “Laura, please. You need to go, now.”

  Laura looked from Jillian to Katie and back again. “Jillian?” Jillian’s eyes filled with tears, and Laura waited for her to say something, anything, but she said nothing. The tears streamed down Jillian’s cheeks before she bowed her head and walked away.

  She wanted to call to her, chase after her, but Katie’s hand on her arm held her fast. Jillian walked away, and her heart pressed into dust. A wave of sickness washed over her. She was weak and trembling as Katie led her to the boardroom without another word. When they reached the door, Laura just stood there, frozen between hell and the unknown.

  It was Katie who knocked on the door and then led her into the room. Besides Mrs. Chapman she recognized no one, yet they all seemed to know who she was. She sat in the empty chair. She could still feel the warmth from when Jillian had sat there minutes earlier. It was a stark contrast to the icy chill she felt throughout the rest of her body and all that remained of Jillian when she walked away from her.

  The group introduced themselves, and Laura feigned a smile in response. They asked her how she was feeling and if she was enjoying her time at the institute. The forced niceties were annoying.

  “Can I just ask why I’m here?” Jillian was hurt and alone, and Laura was sitting here in this room instead of comforting her. They needed to get to the point.

  “We’ll get right to the point then,” Beck said. “Did you falsify your admission application when you failed to disclose any medical issues that could impact your—”

  Laura cut him off. “Yes. You already know this, obviously.”

  “Are you aware that knowingly excluding this information violates TMRI policy?” he asked.

  She leaned back in her seat and crossed her legs, resting her clasped hands on her knee. “Yes. It was a conscious decision that I made to not include it with my application. Had I done so I never would have been considered fairly based upon my qualifications.”

  “That’s not how we operate here at TMRI, Ms. Carter,” Mr. Allen said.

  “You’re joking, right?” she asked.

  “We make it our mission not to discriminate based on many factors, including disability,” he added without acknowledging her disrespect.

  Laura scoffed. She had no intention of believing they would have admitted anyone with an outright fear of water. Even Jillian told her as much. “Okay, if you say so.”

  “How are you coping with that and your training?” Liz asked.

  “Fine, now. Jillian and I have been using our combined experience in psychology and behavior to—”

  “Yes. Your supplemental training sessions,” Beck said.

  “Exactly. Is that why you fired her? Because of these lessons?” Laura cocked her head at him.

  He didn’t answer her instead he asked, “Are you in a romantic relationship with Ms. Marshall?”

  “Why? What does that have to do with this?”

  “Do you feel that you were obligated to accept her advances in order to keep your position at the institute?”

  Laura laughed out loud. Were they for real? This whole damn thing was a joke. “Let me get this straight. You are accusing Jillian of using her position to sleep with me? The woman who’s dedicated every minute of her life to this place. The woman who risked her own safety to protect these animals? That woman? You’re accusing her of sacrificing her career and everything she loves to get into my pants? You can’t be serious.” Laura was on the verge of hysterical laughter, and she rubbed her face. These assholes had no idea who Jillian was.

  “So, the two of you are not in a relationship?” Mr. Allen asked.

  She leaned forward on the table. “You don’t get it, do you? She would die for these animals regardless of who she was sleeping with. And she would never put me, or anyone else above them. Including herself.” Laura ached for Jillian. To have her whole life’s work ripped away from her because of something she would never do. They couldn’t do this to her. Laura refused to let them. It would kill Jillian to be separated from her pod, her family. She would break her own heart before she allowed them to break Jillian’s.

  “Expel me.”

  “Excuse me?” Beck asked.

  “Expel me. Kick me out of the program. I shouldn’t be here; I lied on my application, and I’m a danger to myself and others. Give Jillian her job back, and I will leave.” Laura choked back the tears. She coughed away the thick phlegm that stuck in her throat.

  “Due to your disability it’s not so easy as that. Someone needs to be held accountable for this, and as the director that responsibility falls on Ms. Marshall,” Beck stated.

  “That’s bullshit, and you know it. What if I quit? Then I accept full responsibility, and she stays.”

  “It doesn’t work that way, Laura,” Liz said.

  “So, you’re forcing me to stay?” Laura asked.

  “No, of course not. However, it won’t change the terms of her suspension or affect the ultimate outcome,” Liz said.

  “Correct,” Beck said. “And if and when Ms. Marshall returns there can be no we. The institute cannot condone a personal relationship between a member of management and a trainee. The perception, the liabilities, the consequences are unacceptable.”

  Laura slammed back in her chair as if she’d been punched. They were forbidding them from being together. They were being forced to choose between their careers and love where there could be no true winner. Hard as it would be, Laura knew she could survive two weeks without Jillian, as she knew that on the fourteenth day she could hold her in her arms. But to spend the next six months living and working together without ever being able to touch or kiss would be a torture worse than death. How was she supposed to stop loving her? To stop wanting her? Had Jillian accepted these terms so easily? Was that why she couldn’t look her in the eye?

  “So that’s it.” Laura’s voice cracked and a sharp, searing pain burned in her chest.

  “You’ll continue in the program as you’ve been. Although, it’s obvious that any arrangements you had with Jillian will stop immediately.”

  “Uh-huh.” Laura’s hands were folded in her lap as she stared blankly at the glassy surface of the table. She wanted to run, but where would she go? The one place of refuge she could think of was Jillian’s strong embrace, and now it was forbidden.

  “Laura?” She heard her name through muffled ears and looked around, uncertain of who had called her. “That will be all, unless you have anything else you wish to add.”

  Nothing Laura had said or would say mattered. So even if she’d had anything more, she didn’t have the energy to waste. Laura walked away.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Jillian was oblivious of time. She’d walked the path from the admin building to her house more than a thousand times before, yet with each step she took, the distance between her and her sanctuary grew. The pained look on Laura’s face when she had pulled away from her was burned into her mind. No matter how hard she tried she couldn’t rub her eyes enough to make it disappear. Her head pounded with every heavy footstep she took, and her arms felt cumbersome as they hung at her sides.

  In an instant, she’d lost everything. She’d been forced to choose between a love she’d always had and the one she had just found. Except it hadn’t been a choice. If she wanted to keep her job, she was no longer allowed to see Laura. For so long Jillian had spent her life living the dream she’d made for herself. She’d done everything just as she should. She sacrificed her social life, her family, and her friends to devote herself to this career. Jillian regretted nothing. She’d started at the bottom and busted her ass for eighteen years to get where she was today.

  It should’ve been a no-brainer. She should’ve been thankful that the board had just suspended her. She should be glad that they made the decision to choose her career over Laura. It was the smart move, the safe move. It was probably the exact one she’d have made on her own as little as six months ago. Yet she felt none of those things. Because as she stood there at her front door, she realized that she had nothing. Not even the house she lived in was hers. She was in limbo.

  Jillian unlocked the door and stepped inside. She looked around at the life she’d made for herself. It looked like hers with its mismatched farmhouse décor, and it smelled like hers with the scent of jasmine and fresh linen. Yet, she felt uneasy with the surroundings. Like it could all be gone on a breeze like a wisp of smoke.

  She closed the door behind her and slid to the floor. The weight of reality felt like it would crush her bones. Jillian leaned back against the door, wrapped her arms around her knees, and sobbed. She was alone and lost without the comfort of the water, her pod, or Laura. How was she supposed to survive without everything she needed to live? It was like trying to breathe but getting no air. Something that she now knew all too well. There was a small part of her, in the darkest corner of her brain, that wished she had died in that accident the day before. It would’ve been swift and painless compared to the squeezing agony in her chest that threatened to compress the life from her body as slowly as possible.

  As Jillian cried, she thought about Laura and what she must think. Had she thought that Jillian had used her? If she hadn’t before, did she believe that now that the board had undoubtedly implied it just as they had with her? And what about the truth of her PTSD? Laura knew the effect that information would have on her eligibility at the institute. Jillian knew as well, which is why she’d kept it a secret when she’d found out. The board would have every right to pull Laura’s enrollment and send her away. She too would lose everything she’d fought so long for.