CHAPTER XII--M. BAMATABOIS'S INACTIVITY

  There is in all small towns, and there was at M. sur M. in particular,a class of young men who nibble away an income of fifteen hundredfrancs with the same air with which their prototypes devour two hundredthousand francs a year in Paris. These are beings of the great neuterspecies: impotent men, parasites, cyphers, who have a little land, alittle folly, a little wit; who would be rustics in a drawing-room, andwho think themselves gentlemen in the dram-shop; who say, "My fields,my peasants, my woods"; who hiss actresses at the theatre to prove thatthey are persons of taste; quarrel with the officers of the garrisonto prove that they are men of war; hunt, smoke, yawn, drink, smell oftobacco, play billiards, stare at travellers as they descend from thediligence, live at the café, dine at the inn, have a dog which eats thebones under the table, and a mistress who eats the dishes on the table;who stick at a sou, exaggerate the fashions, admire tragedy, despisewomen, wear out their old boots, copy London through Paris, and Paristhrough the medium of Pont-à-Mousson, grow old as dullards, never work,serve no use, and do no great harm.

  M. Félix Tholomyès, had he remained in his own province and never beheldParis, would have been one of these men.

  If they were richer, one would say, "They are dandies;" if they werepoorer, one would say, "They are idlers." They are simply men withoutemployment. Among these unemployed there are bores, the bored, dreamers,and some knaves.

  At that period a dandy was composed of a tall collar, a big cravat, awatch with trinkets, three vests of different colors, worn one on top ofthe other--the red and blue inside; of a short-waisted olive coat, witha codfish tail, a double row of silver buttons set close to each otherand running up to the shoulder; and a pair of trousers of a lightershade of olive, ornamented on the two seams with an indefinite, butalways uneven, number of lines, varying from one to eleven--a limitwhich was never exceeded. Add to this, high shoes with little ironson the heels, a tall hat with a narrow brim, hair worn in a tuft, anenormous cane, and conversation set off by puns of Potier. Over all,spurs and a mustache. At that epoch mustaches indicated the bourgeois,and spurs the pedestrian.

  The provincial dandy wore the longest of spurs and the fiercest ofmustaches.

  It was the period of the conflict of the republics of South America withthe King of Spain, of Bolivar against Morillo. Narrow-brimmed hatswere royalist, and were called _morillos_; liberals wore hats with widebrims, which were called _bolivars_.

  Eight or ten months, then, after that which is related in the precedingpages, towards the first of January, 1823, on a snowy evening, one ofthese dandies, one of these unemployed, a "right thinker," for he worea morillo, and was, moreover, warmly enveloped in one of those largecloaks which completed the fashionable costume in cold weather, wasamusing himself by tormenting a creature who was prowling about in aball-dress, with neck uncovered and flowers in her hair, in front ofthe officers' café. This dandy was smoking, for he was decidedlyfashionable.

  Each time that the woman passed in front of him, he bestowed on her,together with a puff from his cigar, some apostrophe which he consideredwitty and mirthful, such as, "How ugly you are!--Will you get out of mysight?--You have no teeth!" etc., etc. This gentleman was known as M.Bamatabois. The woman, a melancholy, decorated spectre which went andcame through the snow, made him no reply, did not even glance at him,and nevertheless continued her promenade in silence, and with a sombreregularity, which brought her every five minutes within reach of thissarcasm, like the condemned soldier who returns under the rods. Thesmall effect which he produced no doubt piqued the lounger; and takingadvantage of a moment when her back was turned, he crept up behind herwith the gait of a wolf, and stifling his laugh, bent down, picked up ahandful of snow from the pavement, and thrust it abruptly into her back,between her bare shoulders. The woman uttered a roar, whirled round,gave a leap like a panther, and hurled herself upon the man, burying hernails in his face, with the most frightful words which could fall fromthe guard-room into the gutter. These insults, poured forth in a voiceroughened by brandy, did, indeed, proceed in hideous wise from a mouthwhich lacked its two front teeth. It was Fantine.

  At the noise thus produced, the officers ran out in throngs from thecafé, passers-by collected, and a large and merry circle, hooting andapplauding, was formed around this whirlwind composed of two beings,whom there was some difficulty in recognizing as a man and a woman: theman struggling, his hat on the ground; the woman striking out with feetand fists, bareheaded, howling, minus hair and teeth, livid with wrath,horrible.

  Suddenly a man of lofty stature emerged vivaciously from the crowd,seized the woman by her satin bodice, which was covered with mud, andsaid to her, "Follow me!"

  The woman raised her head; her furious voice suddenly died away. Hereyes were glassy; she turned pale instead of livid, and she trembledwith a quiver of terror. She had recognized Javert.

  The dandy took advantage of the incident to make his escape.