Day two she had still hoped Ash might pick up.

  But now it was day nine, and she wasn’t even sure why she was still calling. She sighed heavily as it went to voicemail and put her phone down. Ash hadn’t answered any texts either. Not since that night. What happened that night between the two of them was a travesty. But Ash not talking to her at all was worse. Chris couldn’t stand it. The silence was louder than anything, and she wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

  Because she missed Ash.

  She missed Ash’s presence, her smile, the warmth that she brought into every room with it. But it really only proved just how much what she’d thought in the beginning was true. She was too fucked up for love. And the hope of that happening had been dashed the moment she had walked into that room in the basement of the church.

  “What was I even thinking?” Chris put her phone into her pocket and woke up her computer from its sleep. She had work to do.

  She was just about to dive head first into a report when Ms. Linda shouted through the main office into hers. “Ms. Dunja needs you now. There’s a fight.”

  “You’re kidding me. Where?”

  “In the hall.”

  “Shit,” Chris mumbled under her breath as she booked it out of her office. With her radio clipped to her hip, she practically ran through the halls as fast as she could.

  Esther stood in the hallway, Avonlee facing her on one side and another girl on the other. Chris couldn’t make out who it was. But they weren’t fighting currently. She had hope of resolving this without a suspension. Esther locked her eyes on Chris. She looked harried and panicked.

  Chris could understand why, based on her past.

  Straightening her shoulders, Chris moved to stand in between the girls and stared Avonlee down. “My office. Now.”

  “She started it!” Avonlee yelled.

  Chris flipped her hand up in a stop motion. She didn’t want to hear any more of this, not while they were standing in the middle of the hallway with classroom doors open. A fight wasn’t something that the entire school needed to know about.

  “Enough, Avonlee.” Chris put more force into her tone than usual. “We’ll discuss this in my office.”

  Avonlee pouted, but she spun on her toes and started walking down toward the office.

  Chris sent a look over her shoulder at Esther, pointed at the other girl, and then followed Avonlee to make sure she arrived in her office. She sat her down in Chris’ personal office and told Linda to watch her before she stalked back down to Esther. What was going on in her school?

  It was like everything was falling apart around her and within her. She didn’t have a moment to catch up. Chris steadied herself as she went. When she arrived, she found that the other girl was Kelli. She’d suspected it, but had hoped it was someone else. Rubbing her temple, Chris glanced over her, finding her nose bleeding and her lip split. It seemed Avonlee had a decent right hook at least.

  Chris beckoned Kelli toward her with the crook of her finger. Esther ran her hands through her hair, stress evident in the lines of her face. Chris would talk with her when she had a chance, after dealing with the girls. She took Kelli straight to the nurse before calling to talk to Esther.

  “What happened?”

  “I’m not sure. Avonlee was in the bathroom. Kelli insisted on going. The next thing I knew I heard them screaming and fighting in the hall. I haven’t managed to get anything out of either of them.” Esther sounded frantic.

  Chris would give Mel a heads up so she could provide some extra support for Esther later that day. Chris sighed heavily, pressing the phone at her desk to her ear. She looked over Avonlee who had her head resting on her arms at the small desk in the corner of her office. It was rare for full on fights to break out in an elementary school, but it wasn’t unheard of. But between girls?

  “Had the issues between them calmed down before this?”

  “Unfortunately, no.”

  “Esther, you should have told me sooner.”

  “I thought I had it handled.”

  Chris grimaced. That was a conversation for another day. Esther was slow to trust, and even though Chris had thought they’d made some strides in that direction, old habits were hard to break. She of all people knew that well. And the reminder from Ash and Katie was just as stark now as it was before. “You need to call me in sooner next time.”

  “I will.” Devastation rang through Esther’s voice.

  “Good. I’m going to get their versions.”

  “Let me know what you find out.”

  “Always.” Chris hung up and stared Avonlee down.

  Anxiety swam in her own stomach because this would definitely involve a phone call to Ash, and she could only hope that Ash would actually answer this time. Because Avonlee was going to receive a suspension most likely. Kelli too, but at the moment, her focus was on the hurting young girl in front of her.

  Chris sat down heavily next to Avonlee and crossed her ankle over her knee. “Want to tell me what happened?”

  “No.”

  “Well, I need to know before I call your mom to come get you.”

  Avonlee snorted. “She’s going to be pissed.”

  “Probably.” Chris rubbed her palm over her knee. “So what happened?”

  “Kelli is a bitch.”

  “Well, that’s a pretty strong accusation. Care to share why?” Chris had to use every ounce of patience she had because from the way it looked right now, Avonlee was completely at fault. But then again, Chris had insider knowledge of the fact that Kelli was a bully and that she was the leader in a crew of bullies. They’d tried to separate them over the years, but with only two classes in each grade it was impossible. Junior high should help solve some of those problems.

  “She won’t leave me alone,” Avonlee mumbled the words into her arm.

  Frowning, Chris tried to ease into this vein of truth. “How is she not leaving you alone?”

  “She followed me to the bathroom.”

  Chris pursed her lips, watching Avonlee closely. She glanced out the door to find Linda eyeing her and pointing toward the phone. Chris shook her head. She needed no interruptions for this.

  “She hit me first.”

  “Did she?” That was new information that Chris was very interested in. It wasn’t the first time Kelli had done that either. “Where did she hit you?”

  “In my stomach.” Avonlee flinched as if she was remembering the moment of the hit. “Because I wouldn’t move out of her way.”

  “That’s the only reason?”

  Avonlee nodded. She slid her gaze upward slowly, eyeing Chris with a serious look. “I hit her back when she called my mom disgusting.”

  Chris cringed. She had wondered if that was where she was going. Kelli was known for making her viewpoints on things obvious, and one of those was that she was staunchly homophobic. Chris had dealt with it and her parents for years, and she wasn’t looking forward to another conversation like this.

  “I won’t stand for that. She deserves so much better.”

  “I agree with you there.” Chris trailed off, not quite sure what to say in response, but she understood Avonlee’s outrage.

  “My mom’s been through enough, you know? She doesn’t need people to throw it in her face.”

  “Losing your mom is hard on her. I know that. But it’s also hard on you, and you don’t need it thrown in your face, either.”

  Avonlee harrumphed. Crossing her arms, she eyed Chris seriously. “I’m glad Kelli doesn’t know what really happened.”

  “What do you mean?” Chris listened carefully, wondering if she meant the real reason for the fight.

  “Mom killed herself.”

  “What?” The hair on Chris’ arms raised. “Your mom told me she died in a car accident.”

  Avonlee nodded. “She did. But she caused the accident. She and Mommy were out on a date, and Mom had been drinking. Mommy didn’t know, and she crashed the car. Pops and Gram came out to stay with Rhubie and me because no one was home.”

  “What do you mean no one was home?” Chris tried to keep the panic out of her voice, but this was all new information. It was all something so very relevant to another part of her life. She flicked her gaze over at Linda, who kept giving her nervous glances.

  “Mom and Mommy were in the hospital. Mommy came home after a week, but she couldn’t drive for a long time. I don’t remember how long because her leg was broken and her arm. But Mom never came home.”

  Chris remembered this from the story that Ash had shared with her. More pieces to the puzzle that was Ashton Taylor fell into place. “How did your mom cause the accident again?”

  “She was drinking.”

  Cold washed through Chris. Ash was at the Al-Anon meeting because Mari was a drunk, and because Avonlee was struggling and she needed to know how to tell Avonlee the whole story. Chris was an idiot. She should have figured it out before now. She should have put two and two together.

  “Avonlee, I’m so sorry.” Chris reached out and touched Avonlee’s hand lightly. “Alcoholism is something that affects so many people. I can only begin to imagine how you were affected by it.”

  Immediately thoughts of Katie, being that young—younger even—of the times Chris had driven drunk with her in the car, the times she’d shown up drunk at Katie’s band concerts and debates, her eighth grade promotion dance that Chris had stupidly volunteered to chaperone. Katie had known every time that Chris had been drunk. She must have been afraid for her life.

  “I’m so sorry,” Chris repeated, but she wasn’t only saying it to Avonlee. She was saying it to Katie. And she would say it a million times over.

  “It’s not okay, you know? She almost killed both my moms.”

  “She did.” Chris wanted to cry. She blew out a breath and squeezed Avonlee’s hand before leaning back. “But that doesn’t mean you can punch Kelli.”

  “I know,” Avonlee whispered. “But she made me so mad.”

  “Right.” Chris rubbed her lips and flexed her fingers. “But you can’t be fighting in this school.”

  Avonlee closed herself off. Chris watched it happen right in front of her. Avonlee’s shoulders tensed, her eyes dropped to the tabletop in front of her, her cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

  “Fighting isn’t tolerated in the school.”

  “I know,” she whispered again. “But I won’t stand for someone bullying my family.”

  “I’ll deal with Kelli. I promise you that she’s not going to be without consequences either.” Though the bloody nose and busted lip were certainly a pretty good consequence. No one had dared to take Kelli to town before. Chris wondered if it would curb her appetite for bullying or not. “Go sit out by Ms. Linda. I’m going to call your mother.”

  “No, please don’t.”

  There was the reaction Chris had hoped for earlier. “I don’t have a choice, Avonlee.”

  As soon as she was alone in her office, Chris snagged her office phone and dialed Ash’s cell. Ash picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

  Chris shivered at her voice. She had longed to hear that tone. How was she supposed to talk now? Chris bit back the fear as she made her vocal chords work. “Ash, it’s Chris, and before you get mad, I’m not calling about…” She paused. How would she even describe that? Gritting her teeth, Chris forced out more words. “…the meeting. It’s about Avonlee.”

  “What happened?” Ash rushed out, but she sounded so weary.

  Chris’ heart went out to her, but there was nothing she could do from where she stood, and with what had happened at the meeting, and the information Chris now had in pocket, she wasn’t sure anything could be done to rectify their budding relationship. It was doomed from the start.

  “There was an altercation. Avonlee was involved in a fight.”

  “You’re kidding me.” Ash groaned.

  “I wish I was.” Chris flicked her gaze to the window in her door, as if she could see Avonlee sitting outside in distress. “Avonlee caused some physical damage to the other student. I don’t know yet if they’ll file charges.”

  “Charges?” Ash squeaked.

  “Avonlee hit the other student in the face, Ash. It’s not looking good. I’ll let you know more when you get here.”

  “I can’t come right now. I have a huge meeting.”

  “Ash…” Chris trailed off, catching herself. “…this can’t wait.”

  “It’ll have to. I’ll be there as soon as I’m done.” Ash hung up.

  Chris sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. She had another student to deal with, and her parents. She could try Ash again later if she didn’t show up in the next hour. Chris had more than enough work on her hands for the day, and she wasn’t looking forward to what was to come. She couldn’t do anything right, no matter how hard she tried, except this. Her job was the one place she always excelled.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Ash pushed her thumb hard into the doorbell at the school. She vibrated from nerves and frustration. She hadn’t been able to focus during her meeting. She’d left as soon as she could and come right down here, more pissed than anything. She didn’t have a full understanding of what had happened with Avonlee. But heads were going to roll as soon as she stepped inside Chris’ office.

  She stalked through the halls with fire on her heels. Chris was going to pay for taking out her own anguish over their breakup on Avonlee. Ash wouldn’t stand for it. Marching into the office, she glared at Linda before flashing her gaze to Avonlee, who sat with her head to the ground in the corner of the office.

  “Where’s Chris?” Ash spat her name out like a curse.

  Ms. Linda shot her head right up to Ash, giving her a look of surprise. “Dr. Murphey is in her office.”

  Chris showed up in a flash, arms crossed over her chest, pushing her breasts up, though Ash was pretty sure that wasn’t the purpose of the look. She was coming out to protect those in her care from the rage that Ash brought with her.

  “My office,” Chris commanded.

  Compelled, Ash walked toward Chris’ office with a glance at her daughter. Her heart raced with anticipation from the upcoming confrontation. She wasn’t sure if she wanted it or not. Ash pursed her lips as Chris shut the door behind them.

  “Avonlee punched another student in the face, twice. She caused a bloody nose and a busted lip, though it doesn’t seem as though stitches will be necessary.” Chris’ tone was sharp and curt.

  Ash wanted to retch. She held her hand over her stomach tightly, staring wide-eyed at Chris. She hadn’t realized it was that bad. She’d thought it was a push or a shove. But this? She plopped heavily into the chair. Chris stayed standing.

  “I’m suspending her.”

  “You’re not!” Ash jerked her chin up at Chris. “It was that Kelli girl, wasn’t it? She’s been bullying Avonlee since she started school here. She’s the one who deserves to be suspended.”

  “I can’t talk about other students, Ash, and you know that.” Chris crossed her arms again, spreading her stance, ready for whatever shake down was coming her way. And she must have known it was coming. “I’m suspending her. She escalated quickly, and I’m worried about her.”

  “You’re worried?” Ash’s eyes went wide as her tone filled with disbelief. She straightened her shoulders, trying to find the energy to stand up and rage, but she couldn’t. All she saw was the broken woman in front of her, the one who had sat next to her daughter in that meeting, riveted to Katie’s story. “She’s not your daughter, Chris.”

  “No, but she’s my student.” Chris’ fists were clenched tight. Her jaw was set.

  What was she thinking? Why couldn’t Ash stop throwing these outrageous accusations at her?

  “I know how you deal with students.”

  “That’s a low blow, Ash, even for you.” Chris put her hand up, stopping Ash from responding again. “We’re here to talk about Avonlee. She can ask for a suspension hearing if she wants to argue for a lesser sentence, but I don’t think she will. She was very clear about why she did it.”

  “And why is that?” Ash kept the anger right in front of her.

  “There were disingenuous remarks made about your family.”

  Ash tightened instantly. She understood what that meant, even if Chris hadn’t said the words. But she wanted to hear it. She knew Chris was walking a damn thin line in what she could share. But Ash wanted to push that. Didn’t she deserve more than that? “Is she a homophobe?”

  Chris’ eyes watered when they locked on Ash’s. She said nothing, which was as much as she could offer in that moment. Ash knew it was true. She collapsed into the chair. She never wanted her own sexuality to be a curse for her child, but she should have known better. She should have predicted this.

  “What do we do?” Ash softened.

  “Avonlee is going to be suspended for three days. She can come back on Monday, and we’ll set up a behavioral plan for her in the meantime.” Chris sounded confident, strong.

  Ash wished she had some of that within herself, but she’d lost that when Mari had died. She’d never found it again, and she wasn’t sure it existed for her either. She covered her face with her hands and dragged in a deep breath. “What am I going to do with her?”

  “She’s struggling, and in big ways.” Chris finally sat down next to Ash, but she maintained a healthy distance between them.

  She understood why Chris was being so distant. She had to be. Ash had ignored calls and texts since that fateful night. She’d done the very thing she hadn’t wanted to do, and she’d ghosted Chris. But this was something they couldn’t avoid, and she was stuck in Chris’ office talking about her malcontent of a daughter.

  “What do I do?”

  “You need to focus on her.” Chris looked at Ash directly. “Do what I wasn’t ever able to do.”

  “What does that mean?” Ash’s heart was in her throat, a pit of guilt already eating away at her.

  Chris sighed heavily, her lips pushed together. Ash wanted to reach out and touch her, soothe the discomfort she was obviously feeling, but she hesitated. They weren’t really together anymore, but they also hadn’t talked. Their focus was on Avonlee, but they still had so much more going on between them under the surface, things they couldn’t resolve that day.