Sadness swelled in Ash’s chest, choking her as she tried to focus on setting up Rhubie’s room. If she let it settle in her for too long, she’d be a blubbering mess incapable of doing anything that day, and that was the last thing she needed. It had been two years already. She should be over this by now, shouldn’t she? That was what her friends had told her, repeatedly. Or at least that it should be easier. It was easier. But it was also so vastly different that easier didn’t quite encompass what she felt. Ash pulled out the frame for Rhubie’s bed. That would be a good place to start.

  They had the frame together and the mattress on top of it before Ash stretched her back and surveyed the room. This was going to take all day just to get the three bedrooms done, and she definitely needed more coffee. Stumbling her way back to the kitchen, she was pleased to see that Char was indeed being useful. Ash leaned against the counter, sipping her third cup for the morning.

  “So…how was last night? You never really told me.” Char kept her voice low, barely above a whisper.

  Ash still wasn’t comfortable talking about it with so many people around. Her cheeks were on fire when she answered. “Let’s just say it was really good.”

  “Oh, me like-y. Are you going to see her again?”

  “No.” Ash shook her head. “One night of happiness. That’s what we promised each other and that’s what we got.”

  “Didn’t you get her number?”

  Ash frowned. She did have Chris’ number. And now that Char brought it to her attention, Ash’s phone burned a hole in her pocket. She wanted to snag her phone and see if it was still there, look at the numbers and memorize them. “I shouldn’t have even allowed myself last night.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I’m not looking for a relationship,” Ash hissed, her voice getting louder than she wanted. “I had the love of my life, Char. Mari was it. No one will ever compare to her.”

  “Ash.” Char softened her tone. She feverishly looked around before stepping forward and touching Ash’s shoulder. “Just because you loved Mari with everything you had, it doesn’t mean you can’t do that again.”

  Intuitively, Ash knew this was true. But she hated admitting it to anyone.

  “It doesn’t have to be with Chris. Just don’t rule out the possibility, okay?”

  “I love Mari.” Ash rubbed her lips together.

  “No one is asking you not to.” Char went back to unpacking the kitchen.

  Ash took the hint and went back to Rhubie’s room. They would need to paint when they could, but she didn’t have the time or the energy to figure that out now. She needed the girls to be sleeping so she could find the time for it between her new job—her first job back in an office in years—and being in a whole new place. She’d given up her career when she moved here, and that was going to be an adjustment for everyone.

  Setting her coffee on the top of the dresser, Ash grabbed her phone and checked to find Chris’ name and number right where it should be. She gnawed on her lip. She really shouldn’t do it, but Chris had understood something so vital to who she was the night before that she couldn’t let it go so quickly. Could she?

  Rhubie glanced at her, her bright blue eyes and dirty blonde hair pulled back in a lopsided ponytail because Ash’s mom still hadn’t figured out how to do hair even after raising two daughters and having two granddaughters. Ash smiled and opened a new text message.

  Ash 10:09 am - I know this is awkward, but I just wanted to say thank you again for last night. It was exactly what I needed.

  Chris wouldn’t answer. She would have to be stupid to text back. It wasn’t like they had talked about what would happen next, but it was a general understanding of a one-night stand that they wouldn’t talk again, right? Ash pulled over a box and started to unpack Rhubie’s books.

  She was halfway through the bookshelf when her phone buzzed twice in rapid succession.

  Chris 11:39 am - You’re welcome.

  Chris 11:39 am - And I feel the same. I guess we both got what we needed.

  That didn’t leave a whole lot of room for more. Ash wrinkled her nose at the phone screen, her thumb hovering over the keyboard as she debated what to respond or if she even should respond. She’d broken the cardinal rule, and that left them both with the question of now what?

  Ash was just about to put her phone away after staring at it for way too long, when another text came through.

  Chris 11:41 am - Did you get your car started?

  “Fuck!”

  “Mommy, you said a bad word.”

  “I know.” Ash pulled herself up with a groan. “Keep unpacking. I need to talk to Pop.”

  Ash stepped into Avonlee’s room, the whine already so strong in there along with the tension that it was impossible to avoid. She stared around the room, finding it nowhere near ready. Seemed her parents were having just as much issue with Avonlee as Ash was.

  “Daddy, I forgot to mention that my car died last night.”

  “What?” He immediately perked up, his bushy gray eyebrows raising. “What do you mean died?”

  “Well, it won’t start. I didn’t look at it too much because it was late.” And she had other things distracting her, but she definitely wasn’t going to mention that. “Char and I left it at the restaurant until we could figure out what to do with it today.”

  Her dad sighed heavily. “Come on, let’s go.”

  Ash hated putting him in this position. Not that he cared, but she hated having to ask for help with anything. Avonlee jumped into the back of her dad’s truck, and they went to the restaurant. Ash nervously brushed her fingers along her thighs, wanting to be home to get her house ready, but realizing she really needed to be here, dealing with this, and removing Avonlee from the house would mean a lot more work would get done in the long run.

  “There it is,” Ash pointed.

  Her dad pulled up alongside the car. “You’re sure it’s not the battery?”

  “Not even a click.”

  He was under the hood in a minute flat. Avonlee stayed in the truck, glued to her tablet. Ash leaned against the side of her car, staring at the engine and pretending she knew what was going on underneath it. But she had no clue, and no one was fooled.

  Ash 12:15 pm - We’re just now taking a look at it, but short answer, no, it’s not started.

  Chris 12:16 pm - Bummer.

  Bummer was right. Ash needed just one thing to go right in her life. Well, she supposed that could have been last night and Chris, and all that they had gotten up to. Her cheeks burned again, heat pooling between her legs at the mere thought of the memory. It didn’t come as a surprise that she wanted to do it again. Chris was confident when it came to sex, though she seemed far less confident when it came to her own body. Ash could handle that. Mari had struggled with the same issues for years, and they had taken the time to work through most of that.

  But in Ash’s mind, Chris looked amazing. She wasn’t a classic beauty, but everything about her was gorgeous, inside and out. From her confidence to her sex appeal, to her kindness and generosity. Chris was checking in on the car for Christ’s sake. That absolutely said she cared to some extent.

  “What put that smile on your face?”

  “Uh…what?” Ash jerked her head up, making eye contact with her dad.

  “I haven’t seen you smile like that in years.”

  “Oh, it’s nothing.” Ash shoved her phone into her pocket. “So what’s wrong with it?”

  “Don’t know. Why don’t you get in and try to start the engine again?”

  Ash did as she was told. Her dad shouted through the open window at her from the front of the vehicle, “Give it a ton of gas!”

  She did as she was told, and it took longer than it should have, but the car finally started. The engine roared to life. Ash was scared to death to turn it off again, worried that she wouldn’t ever get it started. Her dad wiped his hands on his work pants and closed the hood on the car.

  “I think it’s something with the fuel injection system or the filter. We should get it to Alberto’s and he can get it fixed up right.”

  “Okay.” Ash breathed out. “How much is that going to cost?”

  Her dad frowned. “It won’t be cheap, but your mom and I can help if you need.”

  “I don’t need help.”

  “You never do, but the offer is there when you decide to accept it.” He patted the open window. “See you at the house?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Want me to swing by somewhere and get lunch?”

  “Sure.” Ash watched as he pulled out of the parking lot. Deciding it would be rude to avoid Chris and not let her know the end to the car saga, she started another text.

  Ash 12:29 pm - Got it started. Dad thinks it’s something with the fuel something or another. Car lingo is not my lingo.

  Chris 12:29 pm - Cute. Take it to Alberto’s. He’s cheap and does good work.

  Ash stared at the text. Funny that Chris should suggest the same place her father had without prompting even. This Alberto must be good at what he does or something like that.

  Ash 12:30 pm - Thanks. Going to eat lunch and unpack more. I don’t think unpacking will ever end.

  Chris 12:31 pm - I know how you feel. Good luck with it!

  Satisfied the conversation had come to a happy conclusion, Ash put her car into drive and headed for home. She still had to get the girls’ bedrooms ready before the end of the day. While Ash could sleep on the floor on her mattress—which reminded her thank god no one had asked where she’d slept the night before since the bed was still wrapped in plastic and vertical, leaning against the wall—she knew Avonlee and Rhubie would want their beds. She could do this. One day at a time. Isn’t that what all the Al-Anon groups told her?

  Chapter Five

  “What did you get up to this weekend?” Mel had her hands on her hips and a light in her gaze that Chris envied. But Mel could clearly sense something was different.

  Chris had pep in her step when she walked into the school early Monday morning. It was the first time in years that she had felt so light, and she couldn’t stop smiling. She didn’t want to. She and Ash had texted on and off over the weekend. It had been hard at first to even contemplate continuing the conversation and relationship beyond Friday night, but she had wanted to check in and make sure that Ash had gotten her car working.

  “I went out by myself.”

  “Did you go home by yourself?” Mel’s voice rang through the hall.

  Chris immediately put her hand out to quiet her down before grinning and shaking her head. “No, I didn’t.”

  “Chris!”

  “Classroom.” She pointed toward Mel’s kindergarten classroom, and they started walking toward it. She was stopped by tiny arms wrapped around her hips in a tight hug. Glancing down unexpectedly, Chris laughed and ruffled her hand through Anthony’s hair before giving him a hug. “Hey, kid.”

  “Hi, Dr. Murphey!”

  “You hanging out with your mom this morning?”

  Anthony pouted. “Mom’s got a meeting.”

  Chris cringed. She remembered that because Esther had requested the morning off while she dealt with some custody and harassment things with her ex. “Right. I forgot that. So are you hanging out with Mel?”

  He nodded wildly. “I was until other kids showed up. Now I’m going outside. Bye!”

  Anthony ran off—well walked with as much speed as he knew was allowable—toward the door that led to the playground. Chris laughed it off as she continued to walk with Mel toward the classroom. “He’s so sweet.”

  “He’s blossomed in the last year,” Mel commented. “But tell me more about Friday. Sorry I had to bail on you, but Esther needed me to be home.”

  “I understand. Don’t worry about it.”

  “And it clearly gave you time to meet someone.” Mel stepped inside her classroom, shutting the door behind them so no one else could hear what was going on. “So who is she?”

  “I don’t know that much, honestly. It wasn’t that kind of meet up.” Chris crossed her arms, wanting to protect what little happiness she had found for even longer. It wasn’t anything more than one night, at least that’s what she kept telling herself. But it had spilled into Saturday and then into Sunday. Still, neither one of them had mentioned getting together again, and if it turned into a fun and beautiful friendship, Chris would take that too.

  “You got together just for sex?” Mel’s eyes went wide, and she fanned herself like she was suddenly hot.

  Chuckling lightly, Chris shook her head. “No, it wasn’t just for that. It wasn’t even supposed to be that really. We were sharing a table at The Office, and one thing led to another, and we ended up back at my place. It was fun. That’s what matters.”

  “Yeah, but do you want it to happen again?”

  “I wouldn’t say no if the opportunity arose, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  “Why not?” Mel canted her head slightly to the side.

  “Because it was one night. That’s all it was ever meant to be, and unless we serendipitously end up in the same place again, which I doubt will happen, then there’s no point in even contemplating it. Besides, she’s younger than me, way hotter than me, and I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be interested in an old, divorced drunk who has seventy extra pounds on her and no future to think of.”

  “Chris.” Mel’s call of her name was sharp and biting.

  Instantly, Chris cringed. She knew Mel hated when she talked about herself like that, but sometimes she just couldn’t help it, especially when it came to relationships. “I know. I know.”

  “Good. Stop it before I have to slap that bad talk out of you.”

  “Like you would do that anyway.” Chris’ lips pulled upward. “It was a good night, one I’ll remember for a long time.”

  “Good. You deserve to be happy.”

  “Andry said the same thing,” Chris muttered, not sure why everyone kept telling her that lately. But for the few hours she’d spent with Ash, and the random texts they had sent throughout the next couple days, she had been happy. For the first time in a long time, and it had felt so good to be reminded of the fact that she wasn’t as abhorrent as she thought. She was just dissatisfied with everything, especially herself, especially with who she’d become in the last ten years. Which was why she was working her butt off to change that.

  “Andry was there?”

  “Briefly.” Chris waved it off. She really didn’t want to talk about her ex-wife. “It was a fun night, that’s what matters.”

  “It is.” Mel agreed with a smile. “And I’m so glad that you had it.”

  “So fill me in on what’s going on with Esther.”

  Mel groaned. “Well, Skip hasn’t seen Anthony in six months, and she took the first opportunity to file to change the custody arrangement. We set her up with a good lawyer this time to help, and with the harassment charges she filed along with the internal complaints at the district, she might stand a chance of getting it changed. At least Skip will have to meet her at a public place from now on to switch days.”

  “That’s good.” Chris had known about the internal harassment claim. She’d helped Esther file the paperwork at the end of the last school year and had willingly kicked Skip out of the school multiple times since then. But she hadn’t seen him since the start of this year, or even heard from him. “I’m glad she’s doing something about it. I can’t imagine how hard it is.”

  “It is.” Mel frowned. “But it’s what’s best for Anthony, and I think she sees that now.”

  Chris nodded, her mind already back on the million things she had to do that day. As much as she enjoyed catching up with her best friend and checking in on one of her other teachers, she had an entire school to run and mornings were always off with a bang when she least expected them to be.

  “Think we can get together this weekend?”

  Dragged back to the conversation, Chris looked at her longtime best friend. “Yeah, we can figure something out.”

  “You talk to Katie recently?”

  Chris shook her head as the image of the last time she saw her daughter swam through her brain. It hadn’t been a good conversation. Strained was the world she’d use. “She doesn’t want much to do with me. I think Andry said something about her coming home for spring break.”

  “I’d love to see her if there’s a chance. I miss her.”

  “Don’t we all,” Chris mumbled. She’d barely seen Katie over the Christmas break. She’d thought they were making progress on their relationship last year, but as soon as she’d gone to college, the little work they had been doing was snuffed out and hadn’t restarted. “I need to make my rounds.”

  “Sure.” Mel eyed her, as if not quite believing the change in topic.

  Chris nodded and left. The halls were already filling up with students and staff. This was one of her favorite times of the day. This was when all her distractions were in place and she wasn’t tempted to drink, she wasn’t tempted to run away, and she knew she had eight hours of pure focus. Chris headed out front with her winter jacket on, gladly standing by and waiting for students to arrive with their parents and giving out more hugs and praises than she could count. This was where she felt most alive.

  Her radio echoed next to her, calling her inside to the office to deal with something. She sadly and silently said goodbye to the kids arriving as she went to check in on what was going on. Ms. Linda sat at her desk in the main offices, a scowl on her face.

  “We have a sub who’s never been here before.”

  The woman had brown shoulder length hair, and when she turned around, Chris was somewhat surprised by how young she was. Raising her hand up, Chris held it out. “I’m Dr. Murphey. You can call me Chris.”