‘No more talk of home for the time being,’ Ann said. ‘In fact I’ve devised a detailed schedule for the next twenty-four hours.’

  I looked up alarmed, even though a glimmer of excitement ran through my veins.

  ‘Don’t look so worried,’ Ann said, giggling. ‘All that’s on the plan is relaxation, good food and even better wine.’

  ‘That sounds like my sort of plan.’ I smiled and leaned forward to switch on the radio.

  ‘Where are we going anyway?’

  ‘Bakewell.’

  ‘Huh, I’ve never heard of it,’ I said.

  ‘It’s a little market town,’ she said. ‘One of those places that’s full of cobbled streets and cafés, with plenty of antique and craft shops we can potter around in.’

  I laughed. Ann looked puzzled.

  ‘I remember the days when all we talked about were boys, clothes and the latest bands. Now we’re pottering around antique shops. How times have changed!’

  Ann grinned. ‘I never want to get old.’

  ‘What about the hotel? What’s it like?’

  ‘Well it’s five star and it looks amazing, but we aren’t staying in the actual hotel as such.’

  Now it was my turn to look puzzled.

  ‘What do you mean? Please tell me we aren’t camping in the grounds! I need somewhere to plug in my straighteners or I’ll look like a scarecrow in the morning,’ I said.

  ‘Do you honestly think I’m the camping type? If I don’t have proper velvet toilet paper I’ll go into a complete meltdown.’

  ‘You are such a diva.’

  ‘I know,’ Ann said, winking. ‘We’re staying in what they call the VIP lodge in the grounds. We have our very own hot tub overlooking the woodland and, wait for it—’

  My eyes widened.

  ‘Our very own waiter service.’

  ‘You’re kidding me?’

  ‘Nope,’ she shook her head. ‘I thought we needed to be pampered, and pampered is what we shall be. It was in one of those brochures they put in with the paper. I found it lying open on the kitchen table – and it was on special offer, so it just seemed like it was meant to be.’

  A smile settled on Ann’s face. ‘We’ll have access to all the usual hotel facilities – the bar, the restaurant and the gym.’

  ‘Ann, it sounds amazing. Have you ever been there before?’

  ‘I’ve never been to that hotel, but I’ve been in the area before and it certainly is idyllic. It was years ago, when Leo was a toddler, but Dave and I managed to sneak away for a weekend while Mum looked after him.’

  The mere mention of her mum brought tears to Ann’s eyes. She stared at the road ahead. I touched her knee affectionately and she carried on talking.

  ‘I’d bought a very expensive coat from a chic little boutique in the market square. We didn’t have much money back in the day. Not that that’s much different to today,’ she said, raising her eyebrows. ‘And I spent the rest of the weekend trying to entice Dave out of his grump. There was only one solution.’

  ‘Sex?’

  ‘Yep, that’ll teach me to spend money. It wasn’t even his birthday and he’d already had his fill on the Friday night. It was a lesson learnt.’ Ann shook her head and we both giggled.

  ‘How does sex suddenly make it all better?’ she asked.

  ‘That’s men for you – they think with their trousers, not their brain.’

  ‘You’re right there!’

  ‘Well, this place sounds perfect.’ I changed the subject quickly, picturing us strolling down the cobbled streets. I imagined bakery shops and cafés, delicious pastries in the windows and the aroma of coffee, and my mouth watered.

  ‘It does, doesn’t it?’ Ann said.

  ‘Did you say you saw the hotel in the local paper?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, weirdly. It just jumped out at me. I thought it was far enough away yet still close enough that we didn’t have to spend too much time travelling, if that makes sense.’

  I nodded. ‘Yes, absolutely.’

  I settled back into the seat and watched as we swept along the winding road. The fields were covered in blankets of snow, the odd cottage here and there, and I saw ponies wrapped up in their winter rugs huddled around huge bales of hay. It was beautiful here.

  ‘It’s all so picturesque. I think I’d like to live in the country one day.’

  ‘With or without Henry?’ Ann quizzed.

  I shrugged. ‘I don’t know. That’s why I’m here – to work out what the hell I’m going to do with my life. But I’m going to enjoy every minute of spending time with you,’ I said, suddenly feeling in a better frame of mind.

  ‘Me too,’ Ann replied.

  We listened to the radio for the next twenty minutes, enjoying the scenery until Ann asked me to grab the tattered road map from underneath my feet.

  ‘We can’t be that far away now,’ Ann said, pulling the car into a layby to figure out exactly where we were. ‘We just need to locate the final few roads.’

  ‘There’s no point me even pretending to be able to read this,’ I said, passing the map to Ann. ‘As far as maps go, I’m a complete duffer.’

  ‘How can you not read a map?’ she asked.

  ‘I don’t need a map to manoeuvre the vacuum cleaner round the house – and, to be honest, I just don’t get it,’ I said, pulling my mobile out of my handbag and switching it on. ‘And these days it’s all about the app and that’s what Google Maps is for.’

  ‘I still like to use the old-fashioned methods,’ Ann replied.

  ‘That’s the teacher in you. What’s the postcode?’ I asked.

  Ann slackened her seat belt then leant over and tugged open the glove compartment. She pulled out the hotel confirmation and read out the postcode. I punched it in and passed the phone over to Ann once the directions came up.

  ‘Gosh, we are close,’ she said. ‘It looks like it’s only at the end of the road.’

  We drove for another couple of minutes and we were there.

  ‘Look at this place, it’s stunning!’ I said. ‘It’s fit for a Queen.’ A grin spread over my face as I took in the breathtaking view. In a few more weeks – once the temperature had lifted – I imagined the gardens would be bursting with daffodils, pink blossom decorating the trees. But for now everything was covered in snow, which sparkled under the weak winter sun.

  ‘We’re here!’ she cried once she’d parked and turned off the engine.

  ‘It’s lovely, isn’t it?’

  ‘Beautiful,’ Ann agreed.

  In no time at all we were at the hotel’s impressive main entrance, which was decorated to perfection with a stunning, sparkling fir tree. The place oozed class, and there wasn’t an inflatable Santa or a singing snowman to be found anywhere. We pushed through the double glass doors to find a seating area full of chesterfields and an oak coffee table laden with today’s newspapers.

  There was a roaring log fire crackling away and Christmas music piped through the foyer.

  ‘This is the life,’ Ann whispered as we glided across the polished floor towards the welcome desk.

  The receptionist greeted us with a warm smile. ‘Good morning, how may I help you?’ she chirped.

  It didn’t take us long to check in, and after the receptionist had armed us with all sorts of literature and paraphernalia, she handed over the key and pointed us in the direction of our log cabin.

  As I bustled along the corridor, my arm linked through Ann’s, I started to relax. We paused for a moment in front of some vast panes of glass to watch a room of toned bodies, glistening with sweat as they pushed themselves to the limit. Everyone was physically impressive, but joining a gym had never been my idea of fun, and I felt exhausted just watching them.

  ‘Why do people come away to a relaxing place like this and feel they have to exercise?’ I asked, bemused. I just didn’t get it.

  ‘The only part of my body that’ll be getting any sort of exercise today will be my right arm, when we toast Jean and work out what to do about your dilemma.’

  ‘I think we’ll need more than a few hours to sort out my predicament,’ I replied, suddenly feeling tearful. My emotions were all over the place.

  ‘Whoa, have you seen that!’ Ann nodded towards the front of the class.

  I lingered behind Ann as I followed her gaze, then smiled, just as mesmerised as she was by the taut, toned pair of buttocks in their electric blue shorts.

  ‘Let’s pray he doesn’t get friction burns or those shorts might end up on fire.’

  We moved on.

  ‘Can you imagine the effort you’d have to put yourself through to get your backside in that sort of shape?’

  ‘Way too much. It’s not worth the effort,’ I replied.

  I swung open the door, shivering as the chilly air hit us. ‘Did you say the hot tub in our chalet was outside?’ I asked, thinking I’d freeze to death if I stepped out in this wearing nothing but a bikini.

  ‘It is, but there’s a reason it’s called a hot tub.’

  ‘Ann, we’re going to catch hypothermia.’

  ‘Well at least we can put our clothes back on – unlike some!’ she giggled.

  I stopped dead in my tracks. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief.

  ‘Ann, what do you mean?’

  ‘OK, don’t kill me, but I thought as it was Christmas I’d organise our very own Santa Claus, complete with bulging sack.’ She bit down on her lip, trying to stop her laughter from escaping.

  ‘Spill, Ann,’ I said, still not following her.

  ‘Here’s the thing.’ She grabbed hold of my arm and took a deep breath. ‘I’ve only gone and booked us a special waiter this evening. We have our very own butler in the buff!’ she squealed in delight.

  My heart thumped.

  ‘What did you say?’ My voice lifted.

  ‘What’s the matter, Lizzie? You’ve gone all pale.’

  ‘N-Nothing,’ I stammered. The shock on my face must have said it all.

  Ann hit my arm playfully. ‘I’m joking! Honestly, I’m joking. I was just trying to lighten the mood. Do you not think we’ve been in enough trouble lately without adding more naked men into the mix?’

  ‘Damn,’ I said, even though I was secretly glad she was joking. I wouldn’t have had a clue what to say to a naked man wandering around my room and waiting on me hand and foot.

  ‘You are a complete loon, my friend.’

  35

  As Ann and I followed the path round, we walked into a clearing and gasped. It was like something out of a fairy tale. There were five log cabins all lightly dusted in snow with small icicles hanging from their crooked roofs. Sunlight shimmered through the bare branches and everywhere sparkled. It was beautiful. I could smell the fresh, sharp smell of pine mingling with the spicy aroma of wood smoke, and I breathed it in.

  Ann was the first to speak. ‘Number four, over there. That’s our cabin.’ She pointed.

  We traipsed across the blanket of snow that Mother Nature had knitted and noticed the gentle glow of the log fire through the window.

  ‘It’s absolutely stunning,’ I said in awe as Ann let us in. ‘I feel like I’m in a winter wonderland.’

  When Ann pushed the door open, I stood on my tiptoes and peered over her shoulder. The two-storey cabin was outstanding – cosy and beautifully built. We padded into the living room and the wood burner provided a warm and welcoming feel. At the far end of the cabin, there were huge windows that took full advantage of the countryside views. There was a flat-screen TV, a top-of-the-range kitchen with modern appliances and a terrace area with a private hot tub.

  ‘This is the life,’ Ann said again, as she sank down into the plush settee.

  ‘What’s in there?’ I pointed to a white cardboard box on the coffee table.

  Ann wriggled forward in her seat. ‘Unhealthy food, just what I like… cupcakes,’ she said, peeling back the lid and waving one of them in the air before taking a bite.

  ‘I’m starving!’ she said and laughed, spraying a mouthful of crumbs everywhere. ‘I feel like I need a little bit of sugar.’

  ‘Do you fancy a cup of tea?’ I asked, slipping my coat off and skipping merrily over towards the kitchen area.

  ‘Tea would be perfect, thank you,’ she said, stretching out in front of the fire.

  ‘Have you told John and Emma when the funeral is?’ I asked as I put the kettle on.

  ‘Dave said he was going to ring them for me today.’

  ‘That’s really nice of him,’ I said. ‘It’s going to be a difficult day.’

  ‘Leo offered to do a reading, which I’m extremely proud of him for. Mum adored him. I just hope he can cope with it.’ Ann’s face fell and her eyes became teary.

  ‘That’s lovely. And it sounds like Dave has everything under control.’

  ‘Mum always said that she didn’t want us sitting around crying. She wanted us all to celebrate her life, and here I am blubbering.’

  ‘It’s easier said than done, though, isn’t it?’

  I popped the mugs on the table and settled down on the settee.

  ‘These cakes are delicious – here, try one.’ Ann slid the cake box towards me before sinking her teeth into another. ‘Let’s raise a toast.’

  ‘Here’s to Jean,’ I said, touching my mug next to hers.

  Ann forced a smile.

  ‘I still can’t believe she’s gone.’

  ‘Here’s to happy memories,’ I said, peeling the paper case from the cupcake.

  ‘I think I need something a little stronger,’ Ann confessed.

  ‘Glass of Pinot?’

  ‘Perfect,’ she replied.

  ‘It’s not chilled. Is that OK?’

  ‘It’ll be fine.’

  I poured the wine and we sat in silence for a bit. Ann cradled the wine glass in her hand like her life depended on it. Her cheeks were now flushed from the fire and her eyes glistened with tears. She took a delicate sip and then blew out a long breath. ‘That hit the spot.’

  ‘Have you texted Dave to let him know we got here OK?’

  ‘I’ll do it now,’ she said, putting her glass on the table and plucking her phone out of her pocket.

  ‘I didn’t see him last night; he’d already left for work. He was staying overnight at a B&B, otherwise he’d have had to be up at some ridiculous time in the morning to get there on time.’

  ‘How is life with Dave?’ I asked, feeling a little envious of her solid marriage.

  ‘Between work and running to and fro with Mum, the last few months have been manic,’ she said. ‘But I wouldn’t change it for the world. He may have to work away a lot, and sometimes it does feel like we’re just ships passing in the night, but we both work hard and he’s always there for me.’

  Ann’s phone beeped and she smiled down at the display then passed it over to me.

  ‘Have a lovely time and relax. Don’t worry about me. Enjoy some girl time x’

  ‘I think Mum dying has kicked me up the backside a little, in a good way,’ Ann said, tucking her feet underneath her and settling back on the settee. ‘I’ve taken Dave for granted for years, and I can’t wait to spend some quality time with him over Christmas.’

  ‘What about Leo? What’s he up to today?’

  ‘He was going into town to catch up with some old school friends, and tonight he’s going to the pub.’

  ‘I’m dreading my Christmas. I’m dreading going home,’ I revealed, taking a massive gulp of wine. ‘The more time that passes, the more my situation feels like a dream. I honestly think I’ve made a huge mistake. If Abbie hadn’t overheard us, the thing with Marcus may have just fizzled out. Like you said, he might be gone in a couple of weeks.’

  ‘I have to admit I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes,’ Ann said, ‘but you know I’m always here for you.’

  I nodded gratefully. ‘I know, thank you. But I had thought about walking out before Marcus even appeared on the scene.’

  ‘Maybe it’s Marcus that’s given you your self-belief back, and remember you’ve got an exciting new venture waiting for you in the new year.’

  ‘I just wish I felt happier with Henry. I see couples walking the streets together, sipping wine on a Saturday afternoon outside the bistros in town, but all he ever does is shut himself away in the dining room with paperwork or sits comatose in front of the TV watching darts. It’s no way to live.’

  ‘At what point do you say enough is enough? At what point do you stop trying?’

  ‘I’ve asked myself that question so many times, and I’m still not sure. The only thing keeping me there is that I can still remember the Henry I married all those years ago. I was hoping he would come back to me.

  ‘I remember a conversation I had with my dad just before I married him. We went for a stroll along the riverbank and Dad asked me if Henry was the one. I said yes without any hesitation. My dad smiled at me and said I’d passed the test.’

  ‘What test?’

  ‘I didn’t hesitate when I answered.’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘And now I’m just confused.’

  ‘It’s the uncertainty of it all. If things were right at home, Marcus would have never turned your head. You wouldn’t have given him a second glance.’

  We sat in silence for a moment before Ann glanced at her watch. ‘What do you want to do?’ she asked, standing up to stretch her legs. She slid her fluffy woollen socks over the wooden floor like a child and I followed her over to look out of the huge windows.

  A profusion of red berries decorated the high hedgerows on either side of the hot tub, giving it privacy without concealing the stunning view over the countryside. It took my breath away.

  ‘How about we take our drinks and climb into the hot tub? Put the world to rights and maybe later on we could take a stroll into town and enjoy a meal in a fancy restaurant? It’s still early yet, and we have the whole day ahead of us,’ I suggested, opening the door to the decking area.

  Ann followed me outside. ‘That sounds like an excellent plan. I can’t get over that view. It’s spectacular. I don’t understand why people want to travel abroad when we’re surrounded by such beauty.’

  ‘I know, thanks,’ I said, giggling. ‘I try my best.’