‘Not you! This,’ she said, hitting me playfully then flinging her arms wide and spilling some of her wine.

  She laughed. ‘Oops!’

  ‘No friend of mine ever spills wine!’ I said, pressing my lips into a smile and twisting my ponytail up into a bun.

  For a moment we stood side by side and looked up at the sky.

  ‘Do you think there’s life after death?’ Ann asked me.

  ‘I’m not sure, but I’d like to think it doesn’t end here.’

  She bent down and flicked a switch on the side of the hot tub. We listened for a second before there was a loud gurgle and bubbles began to rise to the surface of the tub.

  ‘Come on, let’s go and change into our bikinis.’ I was really looking forward to this. ‘Ann?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Can you believe this is my first time in a Jacuzzi?’

  She shook her head, her eyes wide with astonishment. ‘You’re kidding me, right?’

  ‘No, not at all!’

  ‘My dearest best friend, you remind me of a delicate little flower.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘At the age of forty-two you’re only just beginning to bloom.’

  36

  I climbed into the warmth of the hot tub and let the swirling bubbles soothe my body. Being surrounded by this kind of rural beauty and tranquillity was so relaxing. I leant my head back, closed my eyes and stretched my arms out around the edge of the tub. Thoughts of Marcus and the closeness we’d shared flooded my mind. He’d made me feel alive again, but how could I feel love for him? I barely knew him.

  ‘What are you thinking about?’ Ann’s voice jolted me from my thoughts.

  I opened my eyes and sat up. She’d changed into a floral bikini and was clutching a fresh glass of wine.

  ‘Oh you know.’

  ‘Ha, that would be Marcus then. You look like a right smitten kitten,’ she said, placing her glass on the decking, in easy reaching distance of the tub. ‘I’m joking,’ she said, sitting on the side of the tub and dangling her legs into the water.

  ‘Brrr, it’s blooming cold out here,’ she said, shivering.

  Despite the fact that it was barely above freezing outside, I wasn’t cold in the slightest.

  ‘Climb in, it’s lovely in here,’ I said, cupping the bubbles with my hands.

  ‘I can’t believe you’ve never been in a Jacuzzi before. That’s madness!’ Ann lowered herself into the water and raised her eyebrows at me.

  ‘I know! Anyway, cheers! Here’s to friendship,’ I said, lifting my glass.

  ‘Cheers,’ she replied, taking a swig of her wine.

  When we’d finished toasting our friendship, I lowered my shoulders further under the water. ‘Never mind a Jacuzzi, I’ve never even been abroad. I’ve often dreamt about lying on a sunbed while the sun beats down on my skin. Blue skies and azure seas lapping at golden sands. But what I get is a stick of tasteless rock that nearly pulls my teeth out and a kiss-me-quick hat – which is ironic, because I can’t even remember the last time Henry kissed me.’

  Ann smiled. ‘Why do you think he would never go abroad?’

  I tutted. ‘That’s his idea of hell. The cost of the holiday, the queues at passport control, crying kids on the plane, jet lag… shall I go on? Oh and don’t forget the sunshine.’

  ‘What’s wrong with sunshine?’

  ‘Fair skin and freckles don’t go with the sun unless you like the burnt-to-a-crisp look. By the time we got home, all my memories of paradise would be well and truly faded, and I’d need another holiday to recover from the stress of the first one.’

  Ann giggled. ‘It doesn’t have to be expensive; there are so many places you could travel to that aren’t very far away. Dave and I have been to Paris, Rome and Milan.’

  ‘Hark at you, international jetsetter,’ I said.

  Ann smiled. ‘They’ve all been lovely holidays. Sitting outside the chic cafés with a cool beer in hand and wandering around the historic monuments… we enjoyed every minute.’

  ‘That’s where you’re lucky, being married to Dave. Henry has no idea about culture. If I dragged him round a gallery in Paris it would be whinge, whinge, blooming whinge. Listening to him moan all the time isn’t my idea of a holiday, so putting up with somewhere closer to home seemed like the perfect solution. We haven’t been away for years though.’

  ‘Maybe you should put that on your bucket list,’ Ann suggested, leaning her head back and dipping her hair under the water.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Visiting a foreign country.’

  ‘Aren’t things on a bucket list meant to be wild and exciting? Things you don’t normally get to do.’

  ‘Well that would be wild and exciting for you!’ Ann said and laughed. Her face was flushed and I wasn’t sure whether that was due to the copious amounts of wine we were drinking or the heat from the hot tub. ‘What would you put on your bucket list then?’ Ann asked.

  ‘Erm…’ I racked my brains as I decided to risk having another glass of wine on an empty stomach.

  ‘Have you ever fancied skydiving?’ Ann asked.

  ‘No!’ I answered without hesitation. ‘I’m scared of heights and I’ve never been in a plane, so that one’s probably not for me.’ I hadn’t a clue why people would do that for fun.

  ‘Riding an elephant?’

  ‘Why on earth would I want to ride an elephant?’

  Ann laughed. ‘There was this teacher at work whose lifelong ambition was to ride an elephant.’

  I smiled. ‘I think he needs to get out more.’

  ‘He blamed his mother. He said his fascination with elephants came from his childhood. Every evening she would sing “Nellie the Elephant” to him while she put him to bed.’

  ‘Good bloody job she didn’t sing “Puff the Magic Dragon” because goodness knows how that one would have ended up.’

  ‘That’s a terrible joke.’

  ‘It’s the wine talking,’ I apologised quickly. ‘Taxi for Stevens.’

  We both cackled with laughter.

  ‘Come on then, Lizzie?’

  ‘OK, I’ve always wanted to visit all the places on a Monopoly board. Go up to London – make a day of it.’

  Ann nodded in agreement. ‘Yes, that’s pretty cool.’

  ‘And I’ve always wanted to own a dog and go grape stomping,’ I continued. ‘I saw it in a movie once. It looked so romantic. The boy whisked the girl off to the vineyards of France for the summer. They fell in love and spent their time squashing grapes with their bare feet and making wine. It was the most perfect setting.’

  Ann’s face fell and she looked down at her glass. ‘I can’t think of anything less romantic than a pair of smelly feet stomping all over the grapes they’d use to make my wine!’

  ‘These days I think they have machines to crush the grapes,’ I said, knowing full well that Ann had a phobia about feet. Her worst nightmare was seeing a man’s hairy toes poking out the end of his sandals in the summer. She had never in her lifetime made love to Dave completely naked; she’d always insisted the poor guy kept his socks on, because she didn’t like the thought of his feet coming into contact with her, and I’d made sure to keep my legs stretched away from her while we were in the Jacuzzi.

  ‘What about you, Ann? What would you put on your bucket list,’ I asked, watching a small aircraft flying through the clouds above us.

  ‘A tattoo – yes, I know everyone seems to want a tattoo when they hit their midlife crisis, but I’ve wanted one all my life,’

  ‘So what’s stopping you? Is Dave not too keen?’

  ‘He wouldn’t mind either way. It’s just the fact I don’t like pain or needles.’

  ‘Ha, I can see where your problems lie then.’

  ‘But it’s still on my list – just in case they ever invent a way without a needle.’

  ‘Or pain,’ I added, laughing.

  ‘Then there’s milking a cow.’

  ‘Milking a cow – are you serious? Why in God’s name would you want to milk a cow?’ I snorted again.

  Ann grinned, ‘Pull the udder one, I’m joking!’

  I hit her playfully. ‘I can just imagine you sitting on your little wooden milking stool, wearing a cotton shirt, denim dungarees and a straw hat while singing “Old MacDonald”.’

  ‘I imagine myself more rolling in the hay bales with a topless farmer with muscles to die for.’

  ‘Mmmm, yes, I can picture doing that,’ I said and laughed. ‘But cows are unpredictable, huge creatures, and if you ask me, they always have an evil glint in their eye. I’m not sure I could even walk through a field of them without being petrified.’

  ‘I’ve known a few mad cows in my time.’

  We both giggled.

  ‘What about a piercing?’ I asked curiously.

  ‘Rumour has it Corinna, the woman with the death stare from bingo, has several piercings.’

  ‘Eww, I’d rather not think about that. Could you imagine your legs akimbo while someone fiddled about with your nether regions? That is most definitely not for me.’

  ‘Or me.’

  We both shuddered.

  ‘I’ve always wanted to kiss a stranger,’ I volunteered, feeling my cheeks flush.

  Ann narrowed her eyes at me. ‘How?’

  ‘With my lips, silly!’

  We giggled.

  ‘Talk me through the scenario,’ she said, grinning.

  ‘Don’t laugh at me,’ I instructed, mulling the scenario over in my mind.

  Ann looked up at me amused. ‘Come on,’ she said, wriggling her toes above the water.

  ‘Picture this. It’s a hot summer’s day and there he is, the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen. He’s leaning casually against the brick wall at the train station. He’s wearing faded Levi jeans, old battered converse and a tight white T-shirt that shows off his tanned, muscled arms to perfection. He looks down the train track then glances at his watch. His eyes are bright, his face sporting stubble, his shoulders broad. The train pulls into the station and stops. The doors hiss as they open and I step onto the platform. He looks up, our eyes meet and he smiles.’

  ‘And then what?’ Ann asked, her eyes wide.

  ‘Then I push him back against the wall, snog the face off him then walk off,’ I laugh. ‘He never sets eyes on me again.’

  ‘What has come over you, Lizzie Stevens? You’re an animal.’

  ‘I’ve got a lot of catching up to do!’

  ‘Maybe we could tick that one off our bucket list tonight!’

  Goose pimples flashed across my skin just thinking about it. ‘Ha, that could be a possibility if the wine keeps flowing like this and we find a gorgeous man leaning against the wall of a train station.’

  ‘I’m famished,’ Ann announced suddenly.

  ‘I’ve got the munchies, too. That’ll be the wine.’

  ‘Let’s finish this glass and maybe we could grab a snack from the hotel or wander into town for a bite to eat?’ I suggested.

  Ann looked over her shoulder towards the door.

  ‘Do you know what time it is?’ she asked.

  ‘No idea,’ I said. ‘You know I can’t believe, in all these years of friendship, that this is the first time we’ve ever been away together.’

  ‘I just wish it was under better circumstances.’

  ‘Me too, but for the next twenty-four hours we have each other, and I really need you at the minute, Ann.’

  ‘The pair of us are on a right emotional rollercoaster, aren’t we?’

  ‘Yes, we are. Oh, I forgot to mention that I asked Marcus how he knew where to send the limo before the party.’

  ‘Was it Will?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Did you know that Will’s gay?’

  I raised my eyebrows at her. Will? Gay?’

  ‘Yes! I found out that night.’

  ‘I would never in a million years have said he was gay. Are you sure?’

  Ann rolled her eyes, then gave me that look that meant she’d well and truly dropped herself in it.

  ‘Please tell me you didn’t show yourself up when he walked you home.’

  ‘Not exactly! But I think I was rather tipsy, so luckily for me I had selective amnesia for a while.’

  ‘Dear oh dear, is it that bad?’

  ‘Once we jumped off the bus, Will did the gentlemanly thing and held my hand while I did a very good impression of Bambi, slipping and sliding all over the icy footpath. We rested for a moment under the street lamp just up the road from my house. Do you know the one?’

  I nodded.

  ‘Not that the street lamp is at all relevant. But you know I’m not good with an excessive amount of booze and my mouth ran away with me.’

  ‘We should know when to stop drinking at our age.’

  ‘What I couldn’t get my head round is why he didn’t have a wife or a girlfriend.’

  ‘Yes, he did say that when we were sitting around the fire pit.’

  ‘Did you not think that was strange?’

  ‘I never really gave it much thought.’

  ‘He held my hand to try to steady me, and I was so close to him his scent literally sent me over the edge. It was gorgeous; I do love a good aftershave.’

  ‘You didn’t make a move on him, did you?’ I asked jokingly.

  ‘Of course I didn’t! I have my lovely dependable Dave, but I did ask him how long ago it was he’d had a girlfriend.’

  I raised my eyebrows at her.

  ‘I was all flummoxed when he said he’d never had a girlfriend and had no interest in ever having one.’

  ‘Because he’s gay!’

  Ann sucked in her breath. ‘Yes!’

  ‘Bloody hell,’ I said pressing my lips together and trying not to laugh.

  ‘Apparently he lives with a man who’s an accountant or works in finance. They’ve been in a civil partnership for over ten years. I would never have guessed.’

  ‘Me neither. Well blow me down, as my mother used to say.’

  We both laughed.

  ‘How is it possible to feel sad and laugh at the same time?’

  ‘It’s a strange mix of emotions,’ I replied, feeling exactly the same as she did.

  Without warning, Ann burst from the water and stood up.

  ‘Mind the wine glasses!’ I said, wiping the water from my face and wondering where the fire was.

  Ann’s brown eyes sparkled as she whipped off her bikini top and cast it aside on the decking.

  ‘Ta dah! That’s one off my bucket list – I’ve always wanted to sit in a hot tub semi-naked,’ she announced tipsily.

  I grinned at her rather flushed face.

  ‘Have you really? I’m not sure it’s ever crossed my mind.’

  ‘Come on, whip yours off! No one can see us, and it feels so liberating,’ she insisted.

  I paused. ‘I’m not sure.’

  ‘You need to loosen up a bit.’

  I looked all around us and hesitated. The area was certainly secluded and there wasn’t a soul in sight. Blaming the fact I’d been drinking on an empty stomach, I stood up and unhooked my bikini top then quickly tossed it to the far side of the hot tub.

  ‘Ta dah!’ I said, laughing as I followed Ann’s lead and threw my arms high into the air.

  Ann giggled. ‘Mum always said live each day like it was your last and enjoy yourself to the max.’

  ‘Jean was a very wise woman,’ I said.

  37

  A few hours later, after a perfect late lunch at the hotel bar, and a quick shower and change of clothes, we decided to wander into town, which was only a ten-minute walk away. The air was crisp and chilly, and we shuffled our way along the pavement with our arms linked to steady each other’s step. We were both wrapped up warm in our duffle coats with scarves knotted around our necks and our hands stuffed inside our gloves. The bitter air stung our cheeks, but the walk was just what we needed.

  Before we knew it, we’d turned the corner on to the main stretch of the market town. The Christmas lights draped from one side of the street to the other lit up the winter sky as people bustled along either side of the cobbled street with bags full to the brim with Christmas shopping. A magnificent sparkling tree stood proudly at the far end of the street next to a row of market stalls selling everything from hats and gloves to pet supplies. There was a brass band playing traditional carols too and people paused to drop their loose change into the charity boxes being rattled nearby.

  Ann had been right; this place was packed with all things crafty and small antique shops lined both sides of the street. It was adorable.

  ‘I love Christmas,’ Ann said.

  I held my breath as we paused to take in our surroundings. ‘Where to first?’ I asked, spotting a bookshop sandwiched between a traditional pub and a shop that sold handbags and shoes.

  ‘I don’t mind.’

  ‘Let’s have a look in there then,’ I suggested, pointing towards the handbag shop. ‘I might just treat myself to a new bag. I’ve had this battered old thing for years now.’

  We were hit by a sudden blast of warm air as we entered the shop, and I loosened my scarf. A bell tingled above our heads, alerting the assistant to our presence. She looked up for a moment and smiled then went back to polishing the counter. We moseyed around, flitting between handbags, scarves and shoes, but nothing took my fancy.

  My tummy rumbled. ‘Ann, I’m hungry. I know we’ve just had lunch but I need something else. It must be all that alcohol,’ I said as we stepped back outside onto the chilly street.

  ‘I’m glad you’ve said that because I’m starving too. As magnificent as lunch looked, I’m not one for all that posh hotel nosh decorated with lettuce leaves. I’m more of a burger-and-chips-with-all-the-trimmings type of girl.’

  ‘Mmmm, onion rings and a pint – now you’re talking,’ I replied, my mouth already watering at the thought.

  We looked up and down the street. ‘What about that place over there.’ I nodded towards a gourmet burger restaurant a little further down the road.

  ‘Good plan!’ she replied, and we set off towards it.

  After we’d been shown to a table, we slipped our coats onto the back of our chairs and perused the menu.