‘Relax. Honestly, I’ve got you.’ Marcus skated slowly in front of me and pulled me along. There were kids whizzing past me skating better than I was.

  ‘Try and stand up a bit straighter, and don’t arch your back. Like this,’ he said, skating a little straighter than I was able to manage right then.

  I was concentrating so hard I didn’t dare speak in case that action alone caused me to topple over.

  Even though I was scared witless of falling, every colour of the rainbow was whizzing past me. It felt magical.

  ‘I can’t remember the last time I felt like this.’ I grinned at Marcus as a sudden rush of euphoria ran through my veins.

  ‘You’re doing great,’ he encouraged. ‘Now try and lift one foot off the ice and push. Don’t worry, I’ve got you.’

  ‘Easy peasy,’ I joked, attempting to lift up my boots.

  ‘You can do this,’ he said with a hearty smile.

  It was now or never. Counting to three in my head, I bit down on my lip and began to concentrate even harder, if that was at all possible.

  ‘Don’t look so worried – I’ve got you,’ he confirmed yet again. Even though the air was chilly, I felt warm inside hearing Marcus’s words.

  Lifting my foot, I placed it on the ice in front of me, then I did the same with the other foot.

  ‘Fantastic – and again, Lizzie.’

  I did the same again.

  ‘Oh my gosh, I’m doing it, I’m skating!’ I beamed at Marcus.

  ‘You certainly are! Keep going,’ he said, smiling back.

  The next twenty minutes flew by. Hand in hand, Marcus and I lapped the rink again and again. He was true to his promise and never left my side. I wasn’t sure whether I felt dizzy with happiness, or because I was skating round and round in circles, but whichever it was, I felt like a princess dancing on cloud nine alongside her prince – and it was a wonderful feeling.

  Marcus turned towards me on the ice and began to skate backwards. His cheeks were rosy and his eyes sparkled.

  ‘Are you having fun?’

  ‘Yes and thank you,’ I said, smiling.

  ‘No need to thank me, it’s a pleasure.’

  He firmly gripped my other hand and pulled me along slowly towards him. Throwing my head back, I giggled and looked up at the sky. I let the snowflakes dust my face as I glided along. After a few seconds we began to float towards the barrier, and Marcus let go of my hand for a brief moment. Placing one foot in front of the other, I skated towards the side of the rink.

  ‘I’m skating, I’m skating by myself!’ I squealed in delight.

  Sliding towards the barrier, I reached out and grabbed hold of it then spun round towards Marcus.

  ‘I did it!’

  ‘You certainly did.’

  ‘That was the most fun I’ve had in a long time,’ I exclaimed, trying to catch my breath.

  ‘I’m glad.’ Marcus smiled, glancing at his watch. ‘But we’ve been over an hour and the others will be wondering where we’ve got to. I suppose we’d better head back.’

  ‘Yes,’ I nodded, a little disappointed, only because it felt like it was over as soon as it had begun.

  Stepping off the rink, we walked side by side towards the boot hut. I leant against the side of it and was just about to start untying the skate laces when I had the feeling I was being watched. Peering up through my fringe, my eyes met Marcus’s. He was smiling at me.

  ‘What?’ I grinned back at him.

  ‘You’ve got… come here,’ he said softly, leaning tentatively towards me while removing his gloves. ‘Snow in your hair,’ he finished. My head began to spin and I felt myself shaking. He gently brushed the snowflakes from my hair and another that landed on the tip of my nose. His eyes never left mine. I dropped my gaze towards his lips; they were perfect. I had the urge to lean in and kiss him then looked away, thinking quickly of Henry.

  ‘Hey,’ Marcus tilted my chin back towards his gaze. His hand felt soft against my skin. My heart was hammering and my body tingled. ‘Are you OK?’

  ‘Yes, I’m OK,’ I lied with slight pangs of guilt, thinking I shouldn’t be having these thoughts. I was a married woman. But for a brief moment I closed my eyes, wanting to escape reality and let this moment linger for a little while longer. Feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I wanted Marcus to wrap his arms around me and pull me in closer, but of course it wasn’t possible. Why was life so complicated?

  ‘I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight, Lizzie.’

  ‘Me too,’ I said and smiled.

  13

  Settling down on the empty top deck of the freezing cold bus, we all headed home. Overcome with sudden tiredness, I rested my head against the windowpane and momentarily closed my eyes.

  ‘Come here, lean on me,’ Marcus said, stretching out his arm. ‘Your head keeps banging against the window.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ I asked, feeling a little uncertain.

  Marcus nodded.

  I leant into him like it was the most natural thing in the world and nestled into his chest.

  Hearing the thump of his heart, I smiled to myself. This was what I missed with Henry – the feeling of being close to someone.

  ‘How’s that? Comfy now?’ he whispered softly, giving my shoulder a little squeeze.

  ‘Yes, thank you,’ I murmured.

  ‘We should do this again sometime, if that’s at all possible.’

  Gazing up at him, I saw his eyes were full of hope.

  The look on my face must have said it all.

  ‘It’s not really possible, is it?’

  I shook my head.

  Marcus kissed the top of my head lightly, and I looked away. All night I’d been floating on cloud nine, but I knew in approximately fifteen minutes my bubble would burst, when I arrived back home – to the real world.

  In my head, I began to battle with my conscience. I knew the difference between right and wrong, yet here I was enjoying Marcus’s company. My eyes brimmed with tears, and I blinked them away before anyone noticed.

  Ann and Will were in high spirits, perched in the seats in front of us. The pair of them were playfully arguing over the name of the lead singer in one of Ann’s favourite bands.

  For a moment, I closed my eyes and blocked out all the chatter around me. Marcus was stroking my hair gently, and I could feel myself drifting in and out of sleep.

  ‘Hey, Sleeping Beauty, sorry to disturb you.’ Marcus was shaking me gently. ‘Lizzie, wake up.’

  Lifting my head I gazed towards Ann and Will, who were standing up over me.

  ‘This is my stop, Lizzie. Will is going to walk me up the road.’

  ‘Did I fall asleep?’

  ‘Yes,’ Ann replied, smiling at me. ‘Thanks for a lovely evening. I’ll text you when I’m home.’

  ‘Are you sure? I’ll come with you,’ I replied, sitting up straight.

  ‘Honestly, don’t worry. It’s easier for us if we jump off at this stop. As long as you’re OK?’ she added quickly.

  I nodded.

  ‘Great to meet you, Lizzie,’ Will said. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she gets home safe and hope to see you soon.’

  ‘You too,’ I replied, smiling up at Will.

  A couple of seconds later they were standing on the pavement below, waving up at Marcus and me. We waved back and they soon disappeared out of sight as the bus travelled up the high street. Marcus and I sat in contented silence watching the Christmas lights whizz past our eyes. I loved everything about this time of year – mince pies, the wintery chill in the air and the singing of traditional Christmas carols would always leave me a blubbering emotional wreck.

  I heard the brakes screech as the bus began to slow down. ‘This is our stop,’ Marcus said, placing his hand on my knee.

  ‘Yes,’ I replied reluctantly, not wanting the night to end.

  I followed Marcus as he led us carefully down the stairwell. At the bottom, we both clamped on to the metal pole that ran alongside the bag compartment, waiting for the bus to finally halt. Marcus thanked the driver and we stepped out onto the snowy street below.

  ‘What were the chances of bumping into you tonight?’ he said as we walked slowly up the road.

  I ambled at his side. Our hands were stuffed inside our pockets yet our elbows were touching. ‘I know. I’ve really enjoyed myself.’

  We paused on the pavement at the end of the cul-de-sac, and I turned towards him.

  Knowing I had that feeling of the first flush of love, I blushed slightly. ‘Thank you for teaching me to skate.’

  ‘Hey, you’re crying,’ Marcus said, alarmed. ‘What’s the matter?’ I blinked rapidly, feeling the tears well up again. ‘It’s nothing; ignore me. I’m being silly.’

  ‘You’re not silly.’

  ‘It’s just I’ve really had such a wonderful time and now it’s ended. I’m happy and sad all at the same time. If that makes sense?’

  Marcus didn’t speak but rested his chin on top of my head.

  ‘I know exactly what you mean. It’s been a lovely evening,’ he murmured.

  We stood in silence for a moment before he tilted my face towards his. There was a rising sense of panic inside me in case anyone saw us standing here.

  ‘We need to go,’ I said regretfully.

  ‘The night doesn’t have to end,’ he said softly. Goosebumps prickled over every inch of my body. Right at that moment I didn’t want the night to end. I was tempted to make it last longer, and I reminded myself to breathe normally.

  Glancing at my watch I saw it was fast approaching 11 p.m. Henry would be expecting me home. Thoughts of staying out longer were niggling away at me. My head was telling me to go home, yet my heart was pleading for a different decision. It would be easy enough to disappear next door for a nightcap but what signals would that give out to Marcus? If I was aware of the attraction between us, surely he must be too?

  Looking him in the eyes, I spoke softly. ‘I wish I could, I really do, but I can’t.’

  I could see the disappointment in his eyes as I swallowed my own, and he pulled me close and hugged me tight.

  ‘I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned it, it’s just—’

  ‘I know. You don’t have to say it.’

  We turned and strolled slowly up the cul-de-sac and stopped at the edge of Marcus’s garden.

  ‘Good night, Lizzie.’ His fingers touched mine for a brief moment.

  ‘Good night, Marcus.’

  I turned and walked away.

  14

  While turning the key in the front door, I took a sweeping glance over my shoulder. Marcus was hovering on his doorstep, waiting for me to disappear inside. He smiled across at me. Our eyes locked for a moment more before I waved back at him and stepped into the hallway. Closing the door behind me, I lingered for a second to hear if there was any movement from upstairs. There was no sound at all. The house was in darkness, and I was surrounded by silence. I sat myself down on the bottom stair and heaved off my boots with an almighty tug. I wiggled my toes from inside my cosy pink thermal socks and was relieved to see that my feet were still firmly attached to the bottom of my legs, because for the past hour or so, I hadn’t actually been sure. The warmth slowly started creeping back into my bones.

  So what was going on between Marcus and me? If only I knew. And what impression did he have of me? I pondered the events of the evening. I’d enjoyed myself immensely, yet why didn’t I feel comfortable telling Henry we’d bumped into our new neighbour at the Christmas market? What did it matter? Surely men and women can manage a platonic relationship and have fun without it meaning anything else?

  Who was I trying to kid? All evening my head had been a whirl of romantic nonsense, and if I felt the electricity surge every time Marcus stood anywhere near me, surely he must feel the same? I needed to squash these feelings before they spiralled out of control, but knowing there was a certain dishonesty about spending time in Marcus’s company didn’t stop the warm fuzzy feeling burning inside me that was making me feel alive for the first time in ages.

  Holding on to my phone and keys, I wrenched at the zip of my coat and slid my arms out. I hung it up in the closet and tiptoed into the kitchen to pour myself a drink of water from the tap. I sighed, noticing the white greasy chip wrappers poking out of the bin. Henry must have decided a quick trip to the chip shop was more appealing than trying to work the dial on the cooker.

  I switched my phone on and heard it beep with two texts in quick succession.

  I sat on the kitchen chair and swiped the screen. The first text was from Henry:

  ‘I’ve decided to go to the chippy. We can eat whatever is in the fridge tomorrow. See you later x’

  The second text was from Ann.

  ‘I hope you are home safe? What a great night, Stevens! I really enjoyed myself. x’

  It made me smile when Ann called me by my surname. Usually it was when she was drunk.

  I typed a quick reply.

  ‘Yes, home safe, Sandeman. Now get some sleep and I’ll speak to you tomorrow. x’

  I wandered over to the kitchen window and noticed a yellow glow coming from Marcus’s living room. I imagined him cosied up in front of the log fire, maybe with a whisky, while watching a late-night movie. I didn’t even know whether he was a whisky drinker, but I’d always thought there was something very manly about that drink. I remembered a time when it didn’t matter how tired Henry or I was, we’d always stay up late on a Saturday night, wrapped in each other’s arms, watching the late-night movie. Henry would often doze off in front of the telly and I’d wake him by kissing him lightly on the lips. Without a doubt we’d end up having lazy, sleepy sex in front of the log fire. I missed those times. They were long gone. For the last few years, loneliness had gnawed away at me – until tonight. Marcus had ignited the flame inside me once more.

  A nervous laugh bubbled up inside and I shook my head, brushing away the urge to wander over the road for a nightcap. What was I thinking? I knew once I climbed the stairs and snuck into bed next to Henry that tonight would all be over – only to become a memory. But this was one memory I wanted to go on forever.

  Suddenly there was a creak at the top of the stairs and my reverie was interrupted.

  I held my breath.

  ‘Is that you Lizzie?’ Henry said from the top of the stairs.

  ‘Yes, I’m home,’ I replied, taking one last earnest glance over towards Marcus’s house.

  ‘Are you coming to bed?’

  Henry was already lying back on his side of the bed when I walked into the bedroom.

  ‘Did you have a good night?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, thank you, it was alright,’ I answered, playing the whole night down and disappearing into the en- suite to brush my teeth. I pushed the bathroom door shut and stared at my reflection for a moment. After I’d brushed my teeth, I changed in silence and climbed into bed next to Henry. His back was facing me, and I shuffled closer towards him, slipping my arm around his waist. He waited a second before I felt his chest heave.

  ‘Lizzie, you know I can’t get to sleep if your arm is draped all over me. I need my space,’ he said.

  In silence I withdrew my arm and turned the other way. A lonely tear rolled down my cheek. I just wanted to feel loved again.

  15

  Waking up with the sound of the alarm clock ringing out at some ungodly hour, I could have sworn it was Sunday. Thumping down on the button I rolled over and pulled the duvet up around my neck. ‘Was that the alarm?’ Henry grunted.

  ‘Yes, but it’s OK, I must have set it by mistake. Go back to sleep, it’s Sunday.’

  ‘I’ve set it, I’m going into work,’ said Henry, throwing back the duvet and swinging his feet to the floor.

  ‘Again?’

  ‘Yes, again. The mortgage doesn’t pay itself, you know – or the bills for that matter,’ he grumbled.

  I lay still in bed and didn’t answer, feeling the shift in weight and the coolness of the morning air brush against my body as he clambered out of bed and into the bathroom. I looked at the bathroom door disdainfully before throwing his side of the covers back over the bed in an attempt to keep warm. Was it too much to ask for a decent lie-in?

  Looking up at the clock I saw it was 7.30 a.m. so I rested my head back on the pillow. For a split second my mind switched towards Marcus and the evening we had shared together. It was silly to read too much into it. I was a grown woman with two daughters – and married. What did I think was going to happen?

  Thinking back to Henry, I realised that with him out at work all day I would have ample time to salvage the decorations from the loft and decorate the tree, once I’d dragged it in from the garage. But this morning I needed to start work on a party dress for a customer, while hopefully grabbing a quick conversation with the girls.

  Hearing the running of the water and the spray of deodorant, I snuggled under the duvet and closed my eyes. I knew Henry’s routine like the back of my hand.

  I must have drifted back off to sleep because I was woken by the sound of Henry placing a mug of tea on my bedside table. He kissed me lightly on the top of my head as usual. ‘I’ll see you tonight, Lizzie. Have a good day.’

  A few moments later I heard the creak of the stairs and a rattle of his keys, then the front door shut behind him.

  I waited for a couple of minutes, and as soon as I heard the van pull out of the drive, I peered round the curtains. I saw him turning right at the end of the cul-de-sac and then the van disappeared out of sight. The stillness of the street had an eerie feel about it. Even the inflatable Santa looked deflated at this time of the morning.

  I delved into the pocket of my jeans, which were strewn across the bedroom chair, and grabbed my phone from the pocket before returning to the warmth of the bed. Switching it off silent, I flicked on to the news and spent the next few minutes reading about the non-stop chaos across the country. The heavy snowfall had continued in most places throughout the night, and a severe weather warning was issued to all, advising everyone not to travel unless it was absolutely necessary. The majority of schools were to stay shut in the coming week and local councils were already working to full capacity, gritting pavements and clearing roads. Thinking of Ann, I smiled to myself. She adored educating the little people, but she would also be delighted to gain a few extra days off school. Then my thoughts turned quickly towards the girls and their travel arrangements. The words from the news played on my mind – they were advising people not to travel unless it was absolutely necessary. Deciding to rise out of bed and grab a quick shower, I thought I’d give the girls a ring after I’d made a start on the dress. It should be a decent enough hour to ring them by then.