I heard voices from the kitchen and realised Ann and Freya had already surfaced. They had both been brilliant last night, and if it wasn’t for those two, I dread to think what state I’d be in now. Ann had taken Abbie’s room, as she was still staying at her friend’s, though I thought by now she would have probably outstayed her welcome, given how close it was to Christmas. I knew Abbie was hurting, but I needed her home where she belonged. Christmas was a time for family, and I had an awful lot of making up to do. I was determined to do everything in my power to keep my family together.

  I climbed wearily out of bed and shivered. I pulled my dressing gown tightly around my body and hesitated before pulling back the curtains. I didn’t know how I’d feel if I saw Marcus’s car parked on the drive. It was unlikely he’d return; Sally told me he’d sloped off to stay with his parents, and of course they didn’t even live in Scotland. Nor were they sailing around the Caribbean, as he’d led me to believe. I didn’t have a clue who Marcus Bowman actually was. In one way it was a blessing in disguise that the photograph from the party had appeared in the paper. If Sally hadn’t found out that Marcus was up to his usual tricks, I wondered how long he would have strung me along before I discovered the truth about him.

  I swiped the curtain back but thankfully there was no car and no Marcus. I didn’t want to set eyes on him ever again.

  With a glass of water in hand, I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. As I passed through the door, two sympathetic faces peered up at me from the kitchen table.

  ‘How are you this morning?’ Ann asked softly.

  ‘I’m doing OK,’ I said, and my stomach let out a huge rumble.

  ‘Have you heard from your dad?’ I asked Freya. I don’t know what I was expecting; surely if she had, she would have woken me up.

  They shook their heads regretfully and I sighed.

  ‘I tried his mobile again, but it’s still switched off,’ Freya said pouring me a mug of tea.

  I rummaged in the back of the cupboard, looking for headache tablets, then sat down next to the others.

  ‘How are you?’ I asked Ann.

  She smiled at me. ‘We’re a right pair.’

  I nodded. ‘Did you sleep?’

  ‘On and off.’

  ‘It’s not the season to be jolly this Christmas, is it? I think I’m cancelling it. The fridge is bare and I’m not organised at all,’ I said. Secretly I was hoping that Henry would come home for Christmas. He didn’t have any siblings to go to, and though his parents only lived in the next village, his van was nowhere to be seen when Ann had driven round for a look.

  I’d picked up the phone to ring them numerous times but I could never go through with it. What would I say? ‘Hi, is Henry there? Our marriage is in tatters and it’s all my fault.’ I didn’t want to worry them. If Henry was there, he needed them and was safe. If he wasn’t, I was only going to worry them.

  What a nightmare this had turned into.

  ‘You’ve had rather a lot going on. I can sort the food shop,’ Freya offered, ‘if that helps.’

  ‘Would you?’

  ‘Yes, of course.’

  I was thankful I had Freya and Ann to get me through the next few days.

  ‘You’ll have Christmas lunch with us, won’t you, Ann? And Leo is more than welcome to join us,’ I said, hoping she’d agree.

  ‘I’d love to. We can cry into our gin and play charades.’

  ‘So rock and roll,’ Freya said, smiling.

  ‘What are your plans for today?’ Ann asked, smothering a piece of toast with strawberry jam.

  I hadn’t really thought about it. I shook my head. ‘Nothing except trying to get through the day.’

  Freya touched my hand affectionately. ‘Do you want some toast, Mum?’

  ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’

  ‘In that case would you help me clean out Mum’s house today? If we can dismantle that bed from the living room and have a clean around, I’ll be able to move in there sooner rather than later. And at some point I need to go and collect some clean clothes, which I’m not looking forward to in the slightest.’

  Freya and I exchanged glances. ‘I’ve got nothing on today, so I’ll help if you need an extra pair of hands,’ Freya offered.

  I nodded in agreement. ‘Perfect,’ Ann said. ‘And then I have the pleasure of telling Leo that his dad and I have split up,’ she said, letting out a huge sigh, ‘If Dave hasn’t beaten me to it.’

  ‘Have you heard from him?’

  She slid her phone over the table towards me and rolled her eyes.

  ‘Only twenty messages so far this morning.’

  I scrolled through the numerous texts and the message was loud and clear. Each one begged for forgiveness. He’d made a huge mistake and pleaded with Ann to return home.

  ‘I’m assuming you’ve decided you aren’t going home?’

  ‘You assume right. Ten years, Lizzie. Ten years! I’ve shared him with another woman for most of my married life and I didn’t even know it. He’s crushed me to the core and there’s no going back. Well, not for me anyway. I have no idea who the hell Dave Sandeman actually is.’

  ‘Once the trust is gone, it’s gone,’ Freya said.

  Ann was right, of course, but she must have seen the panic in my eyes. ‘What’s gone on with you and Henry is a totally different situation,’ she said soothingly.

  ‘How do you make that out?’ I asked, pinching a piece of toast from Freya’s plate and taking a bite.

  Freya swiped my hand playfully. ‘Stop it. Your toast is coming.’

  ‘You made a one-off mistake. Your head was turned by a serial philanderer, someone who knew what they were doing, and that was only because you were lonely and wanted to feel loved. You were a vulnerable target – and don’t forget that Henry lost his way too.’

  ‘Mum, it’s going to be alright,’ Freya added. ‘I promise.’

  ‘Thank you.’ I managed a weak smile. ‘We’re going to get hold of Abbie today, and we’ll sit down and sort this out together.’

  I wished I hadn’t caused the hurt I’d seen in Abbie’s eyes, and all I wanted was for this ordeal to be over.

  ‘It’s going to be alright. Henry’s only been gone for a day. Once he’s had time to cool down, he’ll be back in touch. He can’t stay silent forever,’ Ann said.

  ‘Ann’s right. Dad will have questions too. He’ll be back.’

  ‘I hope so,’ I murmured.

  ‘Marcus chased you – the dress, the posh lunch, the limo – we’ve been over this a thousand times. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had a fair few wives dotted up and down the country – not to mention a football team of kids,’ Ann said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. ‘Has he been in touch at all?’

  ‘No – and I deleted his number from my phone last night so I wasn’t even tempted to contact him. I don’t want to set eyes on him ever again. ‘What sort of person pretends their wife is dead to gain sympathy?’ I asked.

  ‘Now that is unforgivable. You read about people like that in papers and magazines but you always think they don’t really exist,’ Freya said, buttering my toast for me and popping more bread in the toaster. ‘It’s just not normal.’

  My eyes welled up with tears again and my lips began to tremble. ‘But I should have said no.’

  45

  By 10 a.m. we were all showered, dressed and ready to set to work on Ann’s new home. It was a good plan, trying to keep busy today – far better than moping around and drowning our sorrows in bucket loads of tea, which would more than likely turn to wine by lunchtime.

  I rummaged around under the sink and grabbed some cleaning essentials, popping them into a bucket alongside a couple of pairs of rubber gloves, cloths and a spare kitchen roll. Ann didn’t know what Jean would have in the house, so we thought it best to take a few items with us.

  ‘You can tell I was in the girl guides, dib dib dib, always be prepared and all that.’ Freya smiled at me reassuringly while she set to work on making us all a packed lunch. ‘Are cheese sandwiches OK for everyone?’ she asked.

  ‘Perfect.’ I touched her arm. ‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ I said softly. ‘I just wish Abbie was here too.’

  She smiled back at me. ‘I’ve texted her to ask her to come home. Don’t worry, I’ve been very gentle – not at all heavy-handed. I’m sure once we’ve helped Ann this morning, she’ll turn up.’

  ‘Fingers crossed.’

  There was a banging sound from the top of the landing and Freya and I both glanced towards the door.

  ‘Are you OK?’ I shouted up to Ann.

  ‘Yes, I’m just having a fight with the bedding in your airing cupboard.’

  She wasn’t sure what state the bedrooms were going to be in, but at least if she had a spare set of bedclothes she’d be able to stay there tonight, if she wanted. I didn’t mind if she wanted to stay with me all Christmas though; I knew she had Leo, but it felt so empty without Henry and I was grateful for her company.

  The air was crisp and chilly as we drove towards Ann’s mum’s house. More snow had been forecast for Christmas Eve and the sky was grey. Freya had agreed to nip out to the shops tomorrow. Hopefully there was still time for her to pick up a turkey and all the trimmings. I didn’t envy her; the supermarkets would be jam-packed with people manically filling their trolleys with food they’d probably never eat.

  We sat in the car making a verbal list of everything we needed while the radio blasted out Christmas tunes; the countdown to the Christmas number one had already begun.

  I smiled, remembering back to when I was a child. There was one Christmas I remembered particularly well. My mum and dad had scrimped and saved to buy me a small black tape recorder, and I’d spent the whole school holiday sitting in my bedroom taping my favourite tunes off the radio.

  We parked the car on the busy street outside and jumped out.

  ‘I must remember to phone the estate agents to take the house off the market,’ Ann said, lingering on the pavement.

  Freya and I grabbed the stuff from the boot of the car and stood by her side. I touched her arm gently. ‘Are you OK?’ I asked.

  Ann nodded. ‘Home sweet home. It’s the start of a new era!’

  ‘New beginnings,’ I said, squeezing her arm.

  A robin landed on the garden gate, right in front of us, and Ann gasped. ‘Red roses and robins were my mum’s two favourite things. Do you think it’s a sign?’

  ‘It could well be,’ I said softly, ‘but don’t go thinking about getting another tattoo, will you? I think the rose is quite enough.’

  Ann smiled. ‘Ha ha. There’s not a cat in hell’s chance. It’s still uncomfortable even now,’ she said, rolling her shoulder. The three of us watched the robin flutter around the garden, landing on the hedgerow before it took flight into the bitter sky.

  ‘They’re very beautiful birds,’ Freya said, swinging open the gate. ‘They always remind me of Christmas… there’s something magical about them.’

  We walked up to the front door and Ann fished inside her bag for the keys.

  ‘That’s strange,’ she murmured, trying to turn the key in the lock. ‘The door’s already open,’ she said, raising her eyebrows and pulling down on the handle before pushing it open. ‘I could’ve sworn I locked up after we came last time.’

  ‘You might have been distracted,’ I said, casting my mind back, but I couldn’t quite remember.

  We clattered into the hallway and dumped the cleaning paraphernalia in a pile on the floor.

  ‘Do I need to take my shoes off, Ann?’ Freya asked politely as she hung her coat up.

  ‘Don’t worry, keep them on for now,’ Ann said, smiling as she hung her coat next to Freya’s.

  ‘I was expecting this place to be freezing,’ I said, placing my hand on the warm radiator.

  ‘The heating shouldn’t be on,’ Ann said, glancing over to the thermostat on the wall. It had been switched to a sweltering twenty-five degrees.

  ‘Jeez, it’s hot enough to grow tomatoes in here,’ Freya said, pulling her jumper over her head.

  Ann turned the dial to a more reasonable seventeen degrees and picked up the mop and bucket. ‘First things first, let’s set up camp in the kitchen and pop the kettle on,’ she suggested.

  ‘Good plan,’ Freya said and, grabbing the rest of the stuff, we followed her up the hallway towards the living room.

  Ann pushed the living-room door open then gasped, coming to an abrupt halt in the doorway. Freya and I bumped slap bang into the back of her.

  ‘What’s up?’ I said, looking over Ann’s shoulder to see what she was staring at. A startled Abbie stared back at us.

  ‘Jeepers, Abbie, you frightened the life out of me,’ Ann panted, clutching at her chest.

  My jaw hit the floor and I locked eyes with Abbie who was sitting up straight in the armchair. My eyes darted around the room. There was a half-eaten Chinese takeaway on the table and a few beer cans scattered around the room.

  ‘What’s going on, Abbie?’ I demanded, pushing in front of Ann. ‘What are you doing here?’

  Abbie gave me a look of contempt then stared at Freya.

  ‘Long time no see,’ she murmured.

  ‘Are you OK? Why are you in Ann’s house?’ Freya asked.

  ‘Is this where you’ve been staying? You told me you were at a friend’s.’

  ‘It isn’t as though you never lie, is it, Mum?’ she answered back with a scowl.

  Feeling a little hot under the collar, I gave her an anguished look; I didn’t want to have an argument in public. ‘Have you been here all this time?’ I said a little more softly.

  She nodded sheepishly.

  ‘Why?’ Ann asked, bemused by the whole situation.

  Abbie didn’t answer.

  ‘Come on, Abs; Ann asked you a question.’

  Abbie glanced down at the floor, avoiding eye contact with us.

  There was a sudden noise from the bathroom. We all turned round and glanced at the door on the other side of the hallway. The toilet flushed and out came Leo.

  ‘Awkward,’ Freya muttered then immediately clamped her mouth shut.

  ‘Hi,’ Leo said sheepishly. He kissed Ann softly on the cheek before perching on the arm of the chair next to Abbie.

  ‘What’s going on here then? You pair look like you’re together?’ Ann said suspiciously.

  ‘At least we’re both single,’ Abbie puffed, staring directly at me. Leo squeezed her hand.

  Flustered, I gave her a stern look.

  ‘I’ll pop the kettle on,’ Freya said. ‘Tea’s always good in a situation like this.’

  ‘Kitchen is that way,’ Ann said then turned back to Leo and Abbie.

  ‘And what is the situation?’

  ‘I’ve… I mean we’ve got some news and it might come as a bit of a shock,’ Leo said nervously. ‘We’re together – and I’ve left the army.’

  Ann’s jaw hit the ground, which I assumed was more to do with Leo leaving the army than him being with Abbie. ‘You can’t just up and leave. Have you thought this through?’

  Leo took a deep breath. ‘Yes, Mum, I have.’

  ‘I’m not sure I can take any more,’ she said. ‘I’ve had enough shocks in the last twenty-four hours to last me a lifetime.’

  Leo and Abbie looked at each other, puzzled.

  ‘Why? Are you OK?’ Leo asked tentatively.

  ‘Not really,’ Ann said, her eyes filling with tears. She took a deep breath. ‘I was going to ring you once we’d finished here. Have you seen your father?’

  Leo shook his head. ‘No, he was away, and because you were away with Lizzie, I stayed here with Abbie. Why, what’s going on?’

  ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this.’ Ann paused. ‘Your father’s been having an affair.’

  Leo let go of Abbie’s hand immediately and sat up straight. ‘Dad? Who with?’ he asked.

  Ann swallowed before she uttered the name. ‘Corinna.’

  ‘Corinna?’ Leo looked perplexed. ‘Who’s Corinna?’

  ‘I’m not sure you would remember, but it was that woman on the Yoxall estate who refused to pay your dad for some work he did. She even threatened to take him to court.’

  Leo shook his head. ‘I can’t remember. How long has it been going on for?’ he asked, trying to get his head around it.

  I saw Ann falter, and she took a second to compose herself. ‘Ten years.’

  ‘Ten years?’ Leo echoed. His mouth fell open; he looked shocked.

  ‘You’re kidding me?’

  ‘If only I was. That’s why we’re here. The gods must have been shining down on me when Mum left this house to me. This is my new home,’ she said, opening her arms wide.

  ‘Mum, I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry.’ Leo stood up and flung his arms around her. ‘You’ve always got me,’ he said and we watched while they hugged tightly.

  ‘How are you feeling, Leo?’ she asked him tentatively.

  ‘It’s all a bit of shock to be honest. I’m just trying to take it all in. How did you find out?’

  ‘It’s a long story,’ Ann replied, obviously not wanting to go into it right then. ‘We can talk about it later.’

  Leo hugged her again and nodded. After a few seconds, he pulled back. ‘I have another confession to make.’

  Ann looked concerned.

  ‘I actually left the army a couple of months ago.’

  All eyes were on Leo.

  ‘A couple of months ago? Where have you been staying then? I don’t understand,’ Ann said, confused.

  ‘I think that’s where I come into it,’ Abbie said, finally piping up.