When I was little he’d come over and bring me new dolls. Him and Mom would go to her bedroom for a while. That went on for years. His wife must be an idiot. I know not all men are true and faithful. I’m not that naïve. I also know not all women are honest either.

  I glance at Pam as she hugs up to her man, Link. I remember East calling her out that night I started my period for cheating on him. I wonder if there was any truth to that. It’s not my business I know that. They’ve always appeared so in tune with one another. So in love. Appearances can be deceiving.

  I follow my supposed father and my husband down a hallway. I stop and take in the portrait of a girl. She looks to be about my age but the clothing she wears dates the photograph to be nearly twenty years old. I don’t have to ask who she is. She was my mother’s best friend in high school. The one who died in a car crash. My father’s daughter. My half-sister. A chill washes over me and her gaze feels as though it’s moving with me as East pulls me along.

  Murder opens a door and flicks on the light switch. I file in behind East. The room has a large desk with a laptop computer sitting off to the side. Lots of pictures of Murder over the years hang on the walls.

  They both take their seats and I shuffle awkwardly unsure if I want to sit or stand but my man decides for me, pulling me onto his lap, arms protectively circling my waist, chin resting on my shoulder, lips at my ear. “Stop fidgeting, baby.” I lace my fingers through his, he rubs his thumb over my wedding ring. “Guess Alexa called you.”

  “She did. Hear she told you who I am to you.” His words are meant for me. I give him a nod, unable to find my voice. “I’m sure there’s a lot you’d like to say to me. I’m not gonna apologize. Not gonna bullshit you. When your mom told me she was pregnant the last thing I wanted was a kid by her. I had no business fucking around with her. I wasn’t a good father to the kid I had. My shit, my mistakes landed on her shoulders. She fucked up and got herself killed because of choices I made. I wasn’t going to fuck your life up too. I made a choice and stuck by it. Though I’ve always supported your mom. Bought her that house. Paid for her car. Gave her money anytime she asked for it. Made sure you had a roof, clothes, and food. Did what I could. My Old Lady doesn’t know shit about you being mine. I’d like to keep it that way. If that makes me a prick, then so be it. I will say this though, you ever need me you can call on me.” He pauses and though his words should hurt they don’t. I don’t want anything from him. I may not have all his reasons but it’s enough for me. He didn’t want me, and I don’t want him.

  “You know, East, when I told you to be there for Wylla Mae this wasn’t what I had in mind. But I gotta say, I couldn’t have found a better man for a son-in-law. We have some business to discuss later. Right now, I wanna know what’s the status with Lynn?”

  “If that kid is mine, I will own up to what I need to, but other than she ain’t shit to me.”

  His gaze slices to me. “How you feel about that?”

  “I’m not happy about it but I stand by my man.”

  “Alexa did one thing right. Taught you how to be an Old Lady. But I suppose that shit is in your blood.” I don’t have a response to that, and I get the feeling he’s done sharing. “Church in the morning.”

  “I’ll be here. We good?”

  “Long as you treat her right. It’s all a father can ask for.” He goes quiet for a minute. “How far along are you?”

  “What?”

  “Heard me. May not have been your father but I know that fucking glow on any woman. How far along?”

  “We don’t know yet. Just found out after we got married.”

  “So, you didn’t marry her cause you knocked her up?” his attention is back on East.

  “Put my ring on that finger because I wanted to. Not because of any reason other than I love her. Wylla Mae claimed my ass when she was eight. I just didn’t realize it till few months back. I’m a little slow on the uptake.” East and Murder both chuckles.

  “Phone.” Murder holds his hand out palm up. I look to East.

  “Give him your phone, baby.”

  “I didn’t bring it in.”

  “Really liking the woman you’ve grown into, Wylla Mae. When you get home, East is gonna put my number in your phone. You ever need me want you to call me. I owe you that much. But meant what I said, don’t go around shouting our relation. My Ruthie wouldn’t take well to the news.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m about as thrilled to have you for a father as you were to hear the news eighteen years ago. There’s no love loss. Can’t miss something I never had in you. I had my mom and I had East. She wrote me off, but I still have him. I think I got the better end of the deal.”

  “Heard that, Cupcake.”

  “Don’t call me that. My name is Wylla.”

  Murder’s fury lips curve upward. “Got your mother’s mouth and my eyes. Could’ve done worse for you. You turned out okay. See you around. Don’t forget we need to have words tomorrow.”

  “Later, Prez.” East taps my leg and nudges the small of my back. Guess that’s my cue to get up so I do. We get out in the hall when he says, “Wanna hang around longer or are you ready to go home?”

  “We can stay if you want to. I’ve been keeping you all to myself.”

  “Like you keeping me all to yourself, baby.” He stops me for a hug, hands on my ass, lips on mine. “One more beer then I’ll take you home.” We go over to one of the tables where a few of his brothers are sitting. East pulls me into his lap, embracing me like he did in Murder’s office.

  Crawl grins at us. “Happy looks damn good on you, brother. Damn good.” He shoves the jar of money toward us. “Consider it a wedding gift.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Appreciate that, man.”

  “Figured we kind of owe it to you since we been giving you hell past few months about when you’d get your head out your ass and get your girl.”

  I look back at East and he shakes his head, so I stay quiet. He never mentioned that they gave him shit over me, but I guess he wouldn’t. That’s the kind of man I married.

  Some chick with heavy purple eyeshadow, dark hair, and black lipstick brings over a tray of shots. “Courtesy of Link,” she tells the guys, sitting shots in front of each of them. Crawl grabs her on the ass, and she hits him over the head with her tray but in a playful way. “Fuck off.”

  “That wasn’t what you said last night. I think your words were fuck me harder.”

  “Yeah and you wasn’t no count.” She shrugs and goes to move off as the rest of the table laughs.

  “Not any count? Bitch, I’ll bend you over this table right here and show you how good I am.” He pushes back from the table, fingers fumbling, undoing his belt.

  I twist into East, burying my head in his neck. The last thing I want to see is Crawl’s dick or watch him fuck this chick with the purple eyeshadow and fishnet stockings under her denim skirt. He dated my mother. I look around the room wondering how many men here tonight she slept with.

  The woman laughs and East kisses my temple. “Why don’t I take you home. This isn’t your scene.”

  Before I can reply the front door to the clubhouse bursts open and a silver and dark-haired man drops to his knees, eyes rolling back in his head. Blood is seeping out the corners of his mouth.

  One word leaves his mouth, “East.”

  Someone shouts, “Nickel’s been shot.”

  East shoves up from under me as the man falls over with a heavy thud.

  Chapter 22

  All I wanted was to prove I belong in Easton Reed’s world. Now I’m knee deep in it. A man is dead. A brother of Royal Bastards MC, the VP to be exact. I learned this from Pam. I’m sitting at a table with her. Her red lips are wrapped around a joint and puffing hard. The dead man is on the bar, shirt ripped open, body still warm. East and his brothers are with my father in a meeting. The girl with the purple eyeshadow is sitting on the other side of Pam, crying silent tears. Everything happened so fast. There was no time to react.

  A sadness settles deep in my gut as though I’ve lost something but I’m not sure what. I had never met Nickel. But still he’s someone important to East and the rest of the club. A loss like that doesn’t happen in front of you and not cut you deep whether you knew the man or not. You see a man take his last breath it clings to your soul. I stare out the window at the snow as it comes down thicker and faster. Looks like cotton balls falling from the sky. We’re waiting for the police. A man is dead and there’s things that need to be done. I just don’t know what those things are.

  “Is there anything I can do or should be doing?” I can’t get the sound of him calling out for East as he took his dying breath out of my head.

  “You’re doing it. No that’s not true. You need to prepare yourself, Wylla Mae. Nickel was Vice Prez. He’s going to be replaced. Murder is fond of East. His old man served as Murder’s sponsor when he prospected for RBMC. They were real tight and Murder sponsored East. Your husband is about to get a promotion. Mark my words.”

  Chills fan up and down my arms and a shiver courses through me. I look back at the bar, at the dead man. He had been VP and look where that got him. I know I can’t tell East no. I know I can’t beg him to walk away from the club. A club he’s been in longer than he’s known me. I grew up around bikers. I know the code. Palm to my stomach, I think about the baby growing inside me. The life we created. I can’t raise this baby on my own. I’m an Old Lady now, and I have to act like one.

  “You’re pregnant.” Pam smiles at me and purple eye shadow chick cuts her gaze to my hand on my stomach.

  “We haven’t told anyone with Lynn. Timing isn’t right.”

  “Oh, fuck Lynn and her feelings.”

  “Amen to that, Samara,” Pam tells her and hands off the joint to her.

  “That’s a pretty name.”

  “Thank you.” She takes a hit of the joint then snuffs it out in the ashtray on the table

  “What do you think Nickel wanted with East?”

  “Hard to say. Who knows? East could be the first person he saw when the door opened. I wouldn’t read too much into that.”

  “Did you know him well?”

  “Nickel?” Something flashes behind her eyes.

  “Yeah. I feel like I watched him die I should know something the man. What was he like?”

  Pam snorts. “He’s a womanizer with a drinking problem. Yeah, I knew Nickel all too well.” I don’t miss the quick movement of her thumb wiping under her eye as though she is wiping away a tear. “Doesn’t matter. Good or bad. He’s gone from here.” This far off look crosses her face. Is he the guy she cheated on her husband with? The blank expression I see sliding into place over her features tells me he most definitely was.

  The prospect who is watching the door starts sprinting toward where East and the brothers disappeared to. “Five-o,” he cups his hands around his mouth shouting that the police are here.

  Red and blue flashing lights fill the window, dancing in the snow. Pam squeezes my hand. “Congratulations about the baby. And between us, Lynn is shit and probably lying to cling onto East. He never loved her. We all know that. She does too. So, fuck her. Be happy with your man. She’s a cunt and knows East is the kind of man who steps up to do what a man should. He ain’t the kind of man who sweeps his kid to the side and pretends she ain’t his. But I will say this. Murder may have been a crap dad. You can feel however you want about him, but he’s always watching out for you from afar. Why do you think he gave you East? He knew that man would take care of you. I’m sure this wasn’t his plan but still he did you right the day he gave you Easton Reed. If it’s any consolation to you, I’m sorry for what I said back then. It was wrong of me.”

  The police fill the doorway and Pam shoots out of her seat to greet them as Samara goes to the kitchen and returns with coffee. I stay in my seat as Pam talks and the rest of the brothers start coming from the back. They were gone maybe ten minutes after Murder dialed it in.

  East comes up behind me and gives my neck a squeeze. “You okay, baby?”

  “There’s a dead guy on the bar.”

  “Yeah, Nickel was always getting into shit. Liked pussy and gambling. Loved the man but he was no damn stranger to trouble. Not surprised he met his end but damn sure fucking sucks. Nickel had him a married woman. She liked the thrill of fucking a biker behind her man’s back. Nickel liked her purse and the casino.”

  “I see. So, the husband probably found out and shot him.”

  “That’s our guess. We gotta stick around to answer questions. Will take some time. They’ll want to question everyone here.” I nod and he takes up the seat next to mine. “You get now why I said you were too good for this life? Never wanted this shit to touch you and now look.”

  “East...I know what I signed on for.”

  “Christ, I don’t deserve you.”

  “Stop selling yourself short, honey.” I lean into him and kiss his jaw continuing to watch the snow fall through the window. “Road will be slick.”

  “Think you’d be okay sleeping upstairs tonight?”

  “Long as your next to me, I can sleep anywhere.” It’s not like I have never spent the night here. I did a few times as a kid. Slept in East’s bed. Only now we’ll be sleeping in it together as husband and wife.

  A detective comes over and stops in front of us, blocking my view of the snow. “I’m Detective Masters. You can call me Justice if you prefer.” I can’t hide my grin. A detective named Justice. His parents sure had him set up for that.

  “I’m East and this here is my Old Lady, Wylla Mae.”

  The tall man with a square jaw and piercing blue eyes narrows his gaze on me. If I had to guess I’d say he’s young but in his late twenties, fast tracked to detective. “How old are you?”

  “Eighteen.”

  His jaw ticks as he shoots East a dirty look. “And you?”

  “What’s this have to do with your investigation? My brother is being zipped into a body bag, so what’s the age of my wife and me got to do with that?”

  “You’re right it doesn’t. Where were you two tonight?”

  “Arrived here about three hours ago. Had me a few beers was getting ready to take my woman home when Nickel fell through the front door.”

  “When was the last time you spoke to him?”

  “Last week.”

  “He have any enemies?”

  East lets out a snort. “Had a taste for married women and gambling. You tell me how long you think the list is.”

  “Got a name for me?” East shakes his head. “Look, I’m trying to help you here. Help me accomplish that by giving me a name. Who was he dicking?”

  “Can’t say. Nickel liked his women like he liked his ice cream. New flavor every day of the week.”

  “Right...well if you think of anything, here’s my card.” He reaches into his pocket and produces a business card. “You got my number.” He tucks the card into my palm and a strangled noise leaves East’s throat.

  “Sure.” I give the detective a smile then hand the card to my husband. “Can we go upstairs now?” The detective moves off and East gives me a nod and a smile that says, ‘yeah, baby, let’s go to bed.’

  **

  Upstairs in East’s room at the clubhouse, I strip down to my bra and panties while he digs around in his dresser to find me a t-shirt to sleep in. Turning down the covers, I study my man and I can see it, he’s hurting. He lost someone he cared about tonight.

  “This should do.” He hands me a black tee that has a whiskey logo on the pocket.

  Unclasping my bra, I let it drop to the floor with the rest of my clothes. I slip the tee over my head and East cracks the window and lights up a cigarette. Normally I’d make a wisecrack but now isn’t the time. He needs his space and I give it to him. I crawl into bed and settle in the middle. If East wants to talk, he will. I want to ask him if he thinks Murder will give him a promotion, but I know now isn’t the time to press.

  At eight years old, I thought this room was so big and cool because I thought it felt like being in a movie. A biker’s secret lair. I had been so silly then thinking I was on an adventure. It’s nothing more than a dresser, a worn couch, and a full-size bed with a lumpy old mattress.

  I toss and turn trying to get comfortable on his bed and wonder when was the last time he slept here and who slept next to him. Was it Lynn? Is this where they conceived their child? I shouldn’t be tormenting myself with such thoughts but I’m having them, and it kills me. I wrestle with myself wanting to shut this shit down, but my brain won’t shut off. East is being quiet, and I can’t sleep. All I have are my thoughts.

  “Doesn’t feel right,” he says after a spell. “Doesn’t feel real.”

  “I’m sorry about Nickel.”

  “Nickel was an idiot. Thought he was invincible. Thought that VP patch on his cut gave him a license to operate however he wanted consequences be damned, but if you play with fire enough you get burned. Murder’s been fed up with his shit. Had been for some time. But still he was one of ours. He didn’t deserve that.”

  “Any idea who would do something like that? Are you sure it was a scorned husband?”

  East shakes his head. “Shouldn’t be discussing this with you.” He flicks his cigarette out the window and closes it. Lifting his shirt over his head he then kicks off his boots and drops his pants. The light goes out and the bed dips with his weight. East hooks an arm around my waist and a thick heavy leg over mine. His warm breath washes over my ear. His thoughts are turning so fast in his head I can practically hear the innerworkings of those gears moving in his skull. “Got church early. Take you home after that. Sorry you had to see that shit.”

  “I’m okay, East.” I wrap my fingers around his rough ones, bringing them to my lips. I kiss his fingertips, tasting the tobacco from his cigarette.

  “Baby, don’t lie to me.”

  I let out a sigh. “It’s just Pam said you’ll be next in line for VP and I’m scared.”