“Fuck you. Get on with it. I’d rather you put a bullet in my brain than bore me to death.” His cold eyes cut to me. “I hope I put a baby in your whore so that every time you look at her and her bastard all you see is me. Whenever you sink inside that tight little pussy you remember that my dick was there first and that she moaned for me before she ever did for you.”

  At those words I lose what ounce of control I had left. I look at his left hand. The one with the lion’s head tattoo. “Hold him,” I snarl. Two of my brother’s take control. I go to the wall where the weapons hang. The ones we use to interrogate a difficult person of interest. I grab an axe. “Cuff him to the table.”

  Lion jerks but it gets him nowhere. With his hand locked in where I want it, I line the sharpened blade up above his wrist and bring it down with one swoop to chop off his hand. Blood splatters and spurts. He cries out once before passing out.

  I take off his other hand. I’m saving his head for last. Tonight I’ll bathe in his blood and fuck Alexa in it while he listens. Her crying out my name will be the last thing he ever hears. Tomorrow I’ll sew the President’s patch onto my cut.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What did they ask you?” Ruthie lights up a cigarette and takes a shot of liquor.

  “I’m sorry. They made me swear that what was said in that room stays there.”

  “Right.” She takes a drag off her cigarette. “Want one?”

  “No. Thank you.”

  “Want a drink?”

  “I’m fine. Really.”

  “Alexa, you don’t have to be strong with me. I know my father’s a bastard. I see a lot of myself in you. Why do you think I latched onto James so young and got pregnant with Rochelle? I wanted out of that house. I wanted him to pay attention to someone else if you get my drift. I knew if I got pregnant, he’d make me get married, and then I’d be free, but he...never mind. It’s in the past. It’s over. We’ll both be free. Cheers.” She holds an extra shot glass up to me, and I accept it.

  “To freedom.” The alcohol burns down my throat. I glance around the clubhouse. This is my first and probably last time here. There are some couches pushed up against one of the walls. A stripper pole attached to a small stage in one corner. We’re seated at the large bar that takes up most of the room. On the wall there are framed photos of motorcycles and club members.

  “I do have one question.” I look back to Ruthie. The way she is staring at me so intensely sets me on guard. “Something my father said...are you fucking my husband?”

  My face pales. “What? No. No way.” I shake my head. “Why would you ask me that?”

  “I’m sorry you’ve been through an ordeal. I don’t know what I was thinking. It’s been a long night. I should take you home.”

  “No.”

  Her gaze narrows on me. “Something wrong?”

  “I can’t go back there. Not after tonight. I can’t do it.”

  She starts to say more, but a man by the name of Reed comes for me. “Ruthie, you’re free to go on home to Rochelle. Alexa is wanted for more questioning.”

  “But...where’s James?”

  “Busy. Get on home now.” He gives her a look and grabs me at my elbow. “This way.” Ruthie scowls at my back as I retreat down a set of stairs that leads to the clubhouse basement.

  It’s dark and cold down here.

  Reed jerks me to a stop outside of a steel door. “Through there. Murder wants to see you.”

  My heart hammers in my chest. He could be sending me to my death. I don’t know this man or what the club voted to do with James and Lion. Ruthie’s under the impression that they will side with her husband, but she wasn’t in that meeting with them. The tension in that room was so thick I could scarcely breathe.

  I take a step back. “He wants to see me down here?”

  Reed laughs darkly. “Sweetheart, you’ve got nothing to fear with me. I heard your story. No one here wants to put you through more pain.” He opens the door and lightly pushes me through. I jump when the door slams shut behind me.

  I’m in a small, poorly lit room, but there is another door. I enter the next room, and that’s where I see him. James. Standing shirtless with his back to me.

  “Hey,” I call to him. He turns slowly. At first glance he appears sweaty. Shiny even under the glare of the light bulb swinging from the ceiling over his head. “What is this place?”

  “C’mere.” He extends a hand to me, and I place my palm against his. James curls his fingers around mine, pulling me in close. In this moment I realize he’s covered in blood when it rubs off his chest and onto my white tee. “Look at me, Lex.”

  “Wh-wha-what is happening here? Why are you? Is that...is that blood?” my knees begin to buckle.

  “Stay with me, baby. Got something I need you to see.”

  “I don’t think I want to.” I attempt to break free from him, but he doesn’t let me go.

  “You’re in my world now, sweetheart. There’s no backing out now. My brothers know all about us and who you are to me. No one will ever hurt you again or they’ll face Lion’s fate.”

  “And what is his fate?”

  He tugs me further into the room. Red. I see red liquid pooled on the floor in a puddle. It’s everywhere. On a steel table rests a single hand. A hand with a crowned lion’s head tattooed across the back. “I think I’m going to be sick.”

  “In through your nose and out your mouth, babe. Breathe.”

  “Is that his...his hand?”

  “I took his hands.” He pulls me flush against his body covering me with more of Lion’s blood. James’s erection presses into me, but I try to ignore the fact that he’s turned on. There’s a man’s hand on the fucking table. My head spins as I continue to take in the scene around me. There’s a wall to the right with any weapon you can think of on display. Swords, knives, guns, heavy tools. Whatever you can imagine it’s there.

  “What do you mean you took them?”

  “See that axe?”

  I gulp then nod. I see it. Covered in blood.

  “Wanted you to see with your own eyes that the bastard is never going to touch you again.”

  “I don’t know what to say.” My heart races. He killed his father-in-law. He killed him for me. That’s two men who have lost their lives because of me and I’m not sorry. Should I be feeling guilt or remorse? Maybe. I only have relief.

  “Don’t say anything. Gimme’ that mouth.” Touching his mouth to mine, James consumes me with his kiss. Stroking my cheek, he smears blood along my jawline. “I’m going to fuck you right here covered in his blood. This is my oath to you that from here on out you’re mine, and I’ll kill any motherfucker who dares to come between us or touch what belongs to me. Make no mistake, Alexa. I protect what’s mine, and I’m a territorial son of a bitch. Lion said he fucked you. That you moaned for him. Now the last thing he will ever hear are the sounds you make for me.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask, but I already have my answer. Strapped to a chair unable to move or look away because his eyes are being forced open with some metal device connected to his face to pry them open, Lion stares at me. Where his hands should be are bloody rags that’s soaked through wrapped around the stubs of his arms. I don’t know how he is still alive. There’s so much blood.

  Oh God. I’m going to faint. My eyes roll back, and I sway on my feet. James catches me. “I know you’re freaked the fuck out.”

  Freaked doesn’t quite match what I’m experiencing. Hell, I don’t know what I’m feeling but when James comes at me again, kissing me deep and wet all the crazy and the blood seems to melt away leaving the two of us in a space in time where there is only us. He lifts me onto a table with my back to Lion thankfully.

  “Need inside you, baby.” He tugs on my shirt, yanking it over my head. Lips trailing along my neck he sets me on fire. “Want you crying out my name.” He nips at my collarbone. I come alive for him.

  Only him.

  My biker.

  My killer.

  My man.

  Rolling my nipple between his thumb and finger, he teases my sensitive skin until it hardens. I cry out when he grabs hold the waist of my pants and practically rips them off me, tugging them down my legs as though they burn him to the touch. “This is going to be hard and fast, but I’ll make it up to you later.”

  Shoving my knees apart, he moves between them, sliding my ass to the edge of the table. I wrap my legs around his hips. Leaning back on my elbows using the table to support me I watch him guide his thick cock inside me. The sight is carnal, filthy even, but beautiful.

  “Always ready for me,” he mutters. Gripping my hip, he pulls out then slams back in with brutal force. The walls of my pussy contract and stretch around him, greedily. Murder fucks hard. That’s who he is right now. One man but two different identities. James is soft and sweet. His biker side though is a rough and savage killer who takes what he wants. Right now, he wants me. I belong to him. Both sides of him.

  “Uh. Uh,” I pant out as he thrusts deeper and harder. My ass slides in the blood on the table. It should turn me off, but when I’m with my man nothing else matters.

  “Fuck yeah, Lex. Take it.” His hand slides up my throat and gives me a squeeze, then moves to my chin. His thumb rubs blood over my lips but right now I don’t care. We’re animals fucking in his kill. Stripped bare and raw, covered in blood like demons. I suck his thumb between my lips and moan, giving that bastard forced to watch a show.

  Murder fucks me like tomorrow may never come. He leans forward to kiss me, surging further inside me. So deep, I swear he’s rooted there. My stomach drops and my knees shake. My sinister killer sweeps his tongue inside my mouth, and I fall apart at the seams unable to hold on any longer. My body jolts, and I cling to his shoulder for assistance.

  “I’m gonna come, Murder.”

  “That’s it. Come all over my cock.” He slides in and out at a slow pace, staring down at his dick as he moves in and out.

  Body quaking, I cry out his name, “Yes, Murder. Fuck me, baby.”

  “Never felt anything better than you, Lex.” He jerks inside me, finding his own release. Murder separates from me, and his essence runs down my thighs. I’m bruised and dirty, but I’ve never felt more alive. “There’s one thing left to do.”

  I watch in both horror and fascination when he takes possession of the axe.

  “You can go to the other room and wait, or you can watch this piece of shit leave this world. Your choice but you got about ten seconds to make your choice.”

  “You said I was part of your world. I see that it can be ugly. Scary even. But it can also be beautiful. You gave me that. You gave me your love too even if you never say it...I can sense it in your actions and your touch.” If I ever want to be his Old Lady, I’ve got to prove to him that I’m strong enough. That fail or fly I’m going to be his ride or die. Even if I’m not sure I have the strength for this, I know how to fake it till I make it. I’ve been doing it to survive my whole life. “I’m staying. I want my face to be the last he sees.”

  Murder’s gaze meets mine. Filled with fury but I see resolve there too.

  Filthy, naked, and possibly deranged I force myself to keep my eyes on Lion up until the moment his head rolls across the floor.

  Chapter Seventeen

  “No fair. Why do you get an apartment?” Rochelle pouts, and Colter shoots me a knowing but sympathetic smile as he drops my last box on the kitchen counter. We’ve seen each other in passing at The Devil’s Playground. The clubhouse of the Royal Bastards MC. He knows all about my secrets I’m sure.

  Rochelle doesn’t know her grandfather raped me nor that her own father killed him for what he did to me. Ruthie wants her kept as far away from the club as possible. She made me promise not to tell her, but one day she will find out. She’s dating Colter, and I hate keeping this a secret from her. She’s happy with him. I just hope that when the truth does come out that she’ll accept my being with James. That she’ll be happy we found each other.

  Ruthie brings in my new bedding. It makes me feel super shit that the wife of the man I’m sleeping with is decorating my apartment. James told me to smile and go on. Said that one day things will change, and we’ll be together for real. I want to believe that with all my heart. I trust him. It’s just sometimes they share these looks I’m not part of. They whisper, and she’ll smile at him the way I do.

  I keep wondering what she would have done had I confessed the truth when she asked me if I were fucking her husband. Would she have washed her hands of him? Would she have fought me for him?

  “Alexa, James and the guys will be here in about fifteen minutes with the last of your furniture. If you don’t need anything else, I’m going to take Rochelle out for lunch. Some mother daughter time.” Pain flashes behind her eyes, and I realize she must be taking her out to break the news that her grandfather is gone.

  “I’m all good. Call me later, Ro?”

  “I’ll probably be back over. No way is my bestie getting her own apartment without me.”

  “Slow down. Your dad isn’t ready to let you fly from the nest just yet.” Ruthie guides her daughter toward the door.

  “You coming with us, Colter?” Rochelle grins at him and my stomach drops. That joy on her face is about to be snuffed out.

  “No,” Ruthie answers first. “It’s just you and me today, kiddo.”

  “Dad wants me here to help carry the heavy shit.” He flexes his muscles, and I roll my eyes.

  “Catch up with me after then?”

  “You know it, babe.”

  “All right enough of that. Let’s go, Ro.”

  They leave and I start to work on unpacking the kitchen stuff Ruthie gave me. She said it gives her an excuse to get new stuff for hers. Colter’s gaze pierces through me. “What?” I look over at him and he shifts his focus out the kitchen window to the parking lot.

  “They’re here.”

  “That doesn’t answer my question.”

  He scrubs a palm over his head, then pulls his dark hair back to show off the shaved sides. “How long are you going to lie to them?”

  I stare at the floor. “I don’t like doing it.” I meet his gaze, hating the judgment being thrown back at me. “She’s my best friend, but you need to understand that I love him.”

  “Doesn’t make it right.”

  “I never said that it did. Are you going to tell her?”

  He scowls. “No. It’s not my place, and I don’t want to be the one to hurt her like that. I’ll leave that to you. I’ll be there for her when it’s all said and done. But you need to tell her.”

  “I know that. I just can’t. Not yet.”

  He nods and the front door opens. I smile at James and hope he can’t tell its forced. “Someone order a couch?”

  “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I wanted to.” He enters followed by Colter’s dad, Papa. If I didn’t know better, I would swear they are brothers. Both of them are tall and muscular but not in that body builder way. They’re lean and tone. Tattoos of dark elements. Reapers. There is something otherworldly about them. I can’t put my finger on it.

  “Colter,” his dad calls him over. “Let’s get this furniture moved and there might be some date money in it for you. We passed Ruthie and Rochelle on our way in. Your girl mentioned wanting to go to a movie.” He wraps an arm around his neck and roughs up his hair.

  They disappear out the door.

  “Shouldn’t you be helping them?”

  “I will but first, I’ve been dying to do this for days.” Stepping into my space, his hand cups my jaw, then he kisses me soft and slow. It’s been two weeks since everything went down with Lion. James has been busy being named the new Prez of the Royal Bastards. I don’t know the details because well its club business. I only know he’s been taking a lot of meetings and cleaning up Lion’s mess.

  Then there’s Ruthie. I know she’s suspicious, and we have to tread carefully. I mostly worried about Rochelle. I told her that I thought he was hot once and she pinched me so hard I had a blood blister.

  Breaking away, he grins at me. “Things are going to be different, Lex. You’ll see, baby. This is just the beginning.” I pray he’s right. I don’t know how much more bad I can handle. “I better go help.”

  “Yeah.” I nod. “You do that.” I kiss him again.

  It didn’t take them long to bring up the couch and get my bed set up. Colter and Papa are gone and now it’s just James and me. I collapse on the couch, and he drops next to me, slinging an arm around me. His lips meet my forehead and I let out a happy sigh. I wish this meant he’d be living with me. I know better though a girl can dream.

  I stare at the kitchen and imagine myself preparing him dinner and him coming in after a long day with the club. I’d have him a cold beer waiting next to his plate. He’d smile at me and tell me about his day over dinner.

  Someday we’ll have that.

  One day we won’t have to hide our love.

  One day I’ll be his Old Lady, and he’ll be my man for real.

  His cell phone goes off. I shift so he can dig it out of his pocket. Mouth turned down he swipes a finger across the screen. “Yeah? Just finishing up putting this shelf in the closet. I’m almost done. Gimme’ about ten minutes. I’ll get it. That bad, huh? Right.” He pauses. “Love you too.”

  I stiffen at his words. Hearing him say what I long to hear so freely to her hurts more than I want it to. The call ends and he goes to his feet.

  “You’re leaving, already?”

  “Yeah, Ro isn’t taking the news of her grandpa that great and Ruthie needs me to grab her favorite ice cream on my way home.”

  “Of course.” I attempt to smile, but I know he sees through me.