Aria spun around and shoved me down on the bed. She straddled me as she climbed up until her body was almost sitting on my face. Then I watched her turn until her ass was back within my reach. She gripped my erection and stroked it with her hand while I focused on getting back to her little hole. Each time my tongue ran over it my dick bucked. The more I flicked that opening the faster she jerked me off. It was hard to feel, but I knew her lips were surrounding my cock. Her head bobbing shook her whole body. I thrust four fingers into my wife’s pussy, feeling them soaked in her latest release. I pulled them back out and drug them over her ass. The hole puckered, beckoning for more attention. This time when I licked her there she called out my name. “Holy Shit, Flynn, don’t stop. Eat my ass. Fuck. Oh my God, I’m coming.”

  I went at it, driving my tongue into her hole the way I wanted to fuck her. Her soaked pussy erupted as did my cock. I could feel my explosion shooting and landing all over my legs, yet I couldn’t bring my face away from her perfect ass. She’d pushed me too far, and I didn’t feel bad about it.

  I kissed my way over her ass until I reached her lower back. Aria turned around and brought her lips to mine. She licked over them, moaning at her own taste. This woman wasn’t the girl I’d married. I’d never desired my wife like this before. She made me want things I swore I’d never do. “Did you like that, babe? Did licking my ass make you come all over yourself?” Her words caused me to groan.

  “Fuck. That was intense.”

  She kissed me again, teasing me with her tongue. “I like it when you’re happy.”

  Our lips clashed together one more time. “Oh yeah, well I like it when you’re happy. You should always be confident and know all I want is you.”

  She snickered and fell back on the bed. “It’s easy to do after that. Wow. Why didn’t we try that before?”

  I rested my body beside hers and cackled. “Because it seemed wrong in so many ways.”

  “Well it felt amazing.”

  “Where’d you get that bullet?”

  “Walmart. It was in the condom section. I saw a commercial and decided to give it a go. I never knew I could feel like that.”

  I pulled her against my body and brought my lips to hers. “This is going to work, Aria. Like I said before, we’ll make it work. I’m going to give it my all. I promise you I will.”

  I awoke to the sound of her voice. Instead of being in bed with me Aria stood over it, still wearing the clothes from the restaurant. She had a receipt in her hand and an angry grimace strewn across her face. “Did you hear anything I said?”

  I looked around the room and realized I must have fallen asleep while waiting for her to finish in the shower, which she obviously never even took. “I just had the craziest dream.”

  “Hopefully we had sex, because it’s the last time it’s ever going to happen.” She took the receipt, crumbled it up and tossed it in my face before heading into the bathroom. I could hear the water still running and realized I hadn’t been asleep long. Since I had no clue what the hell she was so angry about I unfolded the paper to see what it could be.

  Low and behold, written on the back of the liquor store transaction was a note from the cashier, the one I’d slept with a few years ago.

  Flynn: When you’re ready for round two, give me a call. Four years has been too long of a wait. Call me – Char

  Feeling like I was about to lose everything, I ran toward the bathroom door only to find it locked. I could hear my wife crying and rested my head against the wood. “Aria, please let me explain. I wanted to tell you. There were so many times when I tried. It happened once. I swear. It meant nothing.”

  “Go away, Flynn. I don’t want to hear your lies anymore. I can’t take it. I don’t care when it happened. You cheated on me, just like you did when we were in college.”

  I sank down to the floor and buried my face in my hands. Of all the times for this to come out, it had to be when things were finally looking up for us. Just like the click of a pen, my marriage was probably over, and there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

  Chapter 13

  I should have known I couldn’t trust him. For seven years I’d been faithful, only to discover that my once cheating husband was up to his same old antics. This was the final straw for me. I couldn’t begin to rationalize with an excuse to forgive him. For so long I’d battled with my inability to trust, only to be proven right in the end.

  My heart was shattered, but more than my own well-being, I worried for my daughter. What kind of life would she have when she was tossed between two parents? When I couldn’t come up with a decent conclusion, my mind wandered to money. I couldn’t afford to get a divorce. Even if I decided to keep working at my new part-time job, it wouldn’t be enough to provide me the cost of getting a lawyer and having papers drawn up. Even then we’d have to be separated for a certain amount of time.

  It took me more than an hour to step foot from the bathroom. Mentally beaten and tattered, I found Flynn still leaning on the other side of the door. He stood when I came out, and I knew he wasn’t going to leave the room without saying what was on his mind first. “Flynn, I can’t do this with you tonight.” I didn’t bother wiping the tears from my face. I wanted him to know he’d hurt me this bad.

  “Please listen to me. It was years ago. It meant nothing. You and I were having problems and …”

  “When were we not having problems? Our whole marriage has been one.”

  “Aria, please. I’m begging you to understand.” When our eyes met I was shocked to see that he’d been crying. To lie and say it didn’t affect me would have been silly. My heart ached for him. He’d hurt me, but my love wouldn’t go away. It was something I’d become accustomed to a long time ago. No matter where we were in life, Flynn would always hold my heart. “I don’t want to lose you. Please just hear me out. I swear it was nothing. It was one fucking night a long time ago that meant nothing to me. I’d been drinking and couldn’t drive. She offered me a ride home from the bar, but that’s not where we went. I hardly remember it, and I know that’s a terrible excuse¸ but it’s the truth. I didn’t even know it was her at the liquor store, and I sure as shit didn’t realize she stuck that in the bag. Aria, I never want to hurt you. You have to believe me. Things are different now. You said we could start fresh.”

  I stood there in shock, wondering how in the hell this man could think I’d forgive and forget. Did he not remember how devastated I was when I caught him in college? All the promises he’d made me, yet he’d been keeping this secret locked in his closet. “What else are you hiding from me, Flynn?”

  “Nothing, I swear. I told you about being laid off, and now you know about this. That’s it. There’s been three girls since I’ve been with you and the one was on the computer. You know everything.”

  “I highly doubt that.” It was difficult to keep my composure enough to get words out. “When did it happen exactly? I can only remember one time where you didn’t come home, and you told me you stayed at your parent’s house. It was after I had the miscarriage.”

  His eyes widened, and in that second I knew he didn’t have to confess. The truth was written so clearly across his face.

  “No. You couldn’t be that cold.”

  I didn’t think it was possible, but my heart literally ached. My chest was tight, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

  Flynn tried to grab my arm, but I quickly yanked it away. “Get out!”

  He stood there beside me as if he hadn’t heard me. “I’m not leaving.”

  I turned to look at the man who had just ripped me to shreds. “I lost our baby, and you went out and fucked someone else. What kind of monster does something like that?”

  “I went out to drink away the pain, the rest was a mistake.”

  I threw up my hands and shoved him as far as I was able to. “Get away from me. I hate you, Flynn. Do you hear me? I hate you! I want you to leave and never come back. You ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you for it.”

  Tears streamed down Flynn’s face as he put his head down and left the room silently.

  When I was alone I closed and locked the door before falling to the carpet and balling up my body. Everything I cared about was about to change. I was going to be a single mother, who would probably struggle until my daughter was well over eighteen.

  I cried myself to sleep on the floor in my room. There was no sense getting up into my bed. I didn’t want to have the constant reminder of sleeping with Flynn while I struggled to come to grips with it really being over.

  His excuses were pathetic, and I felt rotten for letting it go for this long. The signs had been there after my miscarriage. They were disguised by my pain. I just assumed Flynn was upset too. Had I have known he felt guilty about screwing around on me while I laid in bed suffering, things would have been over a long time ago.

  No matter how I tried to spin the outcome, I knew I couldn’t fix it. I was never enough for Flynn. He’d gone out to get his fix, taking our marriage and proving it meant nothing to him.

  His tears wouldn’t break me. He could cry a fucking river and I wouldn’t let him sink my boat. I’d find higher ground and build a new life; one without a cheating liar of a husband.

  When I thought about all the times I’d tried my hardest to make it work with him; the countless hours spent in therapy, the stress from getting nowhere. It all made me feel like I’d wasted years of my life.

  By the time I closed my eyes I was determined to get Flynn out of the house as soon as possible. The longer he stayed with us, the harder he would try to manipulate me into believing he was sorry.

  The next morning I woke to a pounding headache that instantly reminded me what happened and why I was still on the floor. I made it into the bathroom where I took some medicine and washed my face. My eyes were swollen and they felt strange to open and close. The heaviness on my face from hours of heartache left me uncomfortable.

  I took a few seconds to gather my thoughts before unlocking the bedroom door and stepping outside. When Flynn wasn’t on the couch I knew he was somewhere with Emery. Maybe I should have been worried he was brainwashing our daughter into thinking I was the bad guy. As much as I wanted to make him out as the devil, I knew he’d never hurt her that way. Flynn wasn’t a terrible man, he just made bad choices that ruined the lives of the people around him.

  That being said, I hated stepping into the kitchen and seeing him sitting there with Emery, as if nothing had transpired between us. “Hi, Mommy. Daddy said he was going to drive me to school today. He’s going to get me a doughnut.”

  “That’s fine, honey. Just don’t forget your lunchbox.”

  She ran and got it out of the refrigerator while I poured a cup of coffee, purposely ignoring the elephant in the room named Flynn. A few minutes later I kissed her goodbye and watched them head out.

  It was hard to sit in my kitchen and look around at all the memories we’d built together knowing they’d now come to an end. I didn’t know the first thing about getting a divorce. It wasn’t like I had a ton of girlfriends to get advice from. My closest confidant was his mother. It wasn’t like I could count on mine. She was off doing God knows what with her life.

  Even though I knew Flynn’s mother would take my side, I didn’t feel right about pinning her against her own son. No matter what he did to ruin our relationship it wasn’t anyone’s business except our own.

  Flynn wasn’t gone nearly long enough for me to be able to prepare for his return. The moment he stepped back into the house my stomach knotted up. “Aria, babe, we need to sit down and talk.”

  I sipped on my coffee before responding. Far be it from me to make this easy for him. “I have nothing to say to you. I told you last night we were through. It won’t change.”

  He sat down across from me, placed his hands over his face and began to cry. This time he didn’t try to hold back his emotions. In all the years we’d been together, I’d never seen him this devastated before.

  “How can you sit there and fall apart when you did this to us?”

  “It was a long time ago. I told you it meant nothing. What else can I say? It’s never going to go away. Our marriage meant more to me than telling you the truth about it. Aria, I know you won’t understand this, but I kept it a secret to protect you. I didn’t want to see the look on your face that you’re giving me right now.”

  “You deserve so much worse, you common asshole! You destroyed us. It’s all your fault.”

  “I know.” He slammed his hands on the table. “I fucking know!”

  I turned away when I spoke. “You should just go, Flynn. I can’t sit in this house with you all day. Go to your parents. Go to a bar. Hell, go hook up with your old friend. It’s not like I care anymore.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  I turned and snapped at him. “How would you know? If you spent half the time being my husband instead of fucking some little whore you’d know that I mean every word of it. Now get out of here, Flynn. We are done! Nothing can repair this. It’s over.”

  I didn’t budge when he got up and left the room. Even being on the other side of the house I could hear him losing it. I knew he was packing from the sound of his dresser drawers slamming.

  While I silently sat there and cried about our failed marriage, my husband was preparing to say goodbye. I wanted to feel independent and strong, but instead felt alone, weak, and hopeless. Maybe if I’d been more desirable he wouldn’t have strayed. Perhaps his actions were because I nagged him too much. It was possible he couldn’t handle the person I wanted him to be. No matter what the cause, he’d made this decision by sticking his dick inside of someone else. Our vows were broken. There was no going back. I would have to learn to live without him, even if it left me with nothing but regret.

  Flynn came into the kitchen a little while later empty handed. He stuck his hands in his pockets and leaned against the doorway. “I’m not leaving, Aria. You can fight me until you’re blue in the face, but I won’t give up hope that you’ll forgive me.”

  I stood up to give him a piece of my mind, but he raised his hand in front of my face. “I’ll stay out of your way. I’ll work extra hours, and spend all my time with Emery when I’m home. I won’t bother you, just don’t make me leave my daughter. Please Aria. You know how much I love her. She’s all I have left. Don’t take that away from me. I may have been a shitty husband at times to you, but I’ve never been a bad father. Don’t make me leave.”

  I sighed and thought about how sad Emery would be if she found out her father had left us. She’d blame him, because in her young mind she’d feel abandoned, even if it had been my decision to make him leave. A long time ago we’d promised to never use her as leverage to get back at one another. Flynn was right to ask for this, and I knew I couldn’t fight him on it. As angry and betrayed as I felt, I’d let him stick around for our daughter’s sake, at least until we could figure out a plan together without my wanting to kill him. “Fine, but on one condition.”

  “Anything.”

  “Stay the fuck away from me, Flynn. I’m not kidding. This begging bullshit stops here. I’ve made my decision and I’m sticking to it. We’re through.”

  He nodded and walked out of the room with his head lowered. I didn’t care if he cried all afternoon. I wouldn’t break. My mind was made up.

  Chapter 14

  Aria didn’t speak to me for days. At dinner we’d sit at the same table avoiding eye contact and conversation. Sure, we’d talk to Emery as if nothing was wrong, so she wouldn’t have to be upset that her mommy and daddy couldn’t find a way to work things out.

  Aria and I knew it was only a matter of time before one of us couldn’t take it. Thankfully my new job gave me the opportunity to get away from the house every day. I even worked on Saturdays to avoid being home.

  Aria had started her part-time position at the Quick Stop. As far as I could tell she liked it, though she said nothing to me either way.

  The silent treatment had lasted until one night when Aria was coming in from grocery shopping. She’d been carrying several bags to insure one trip from the car and fell. While holding onto her knee, groceries surrounded her, some ruined from the fall. I spotted her outside the window and rushed to help. “Jesus woman, you should have asked for help. If you didn’t want to talk you could have simply honked the damn horn.” I started to pick her up and Aria freaked out.

  “Wait, what are you doing?”

  “I’m taking you inside so we can assess the damage.”

  “Flynn, this isn’t necessary,” she argued while I lifted and carried her inside the house. Once I got her positioned on a kitchen chair, I squatted in front of her and shoved the leg of her pants up to check on her wound. “You can go do whatever it was you were doing. I’ll be fine.”

  I barely touched her knee, and she screamed. “You’re not okay. You need to go to the hospital. Where’s Emery?”

  “She’s at your mom’s. They’re having a sleepover.”

  I took a deep breath and prepared to order my wife around even though I knew she’d fight me. “I’m taking you to the hospital to get checked out.” When I went to pick her up she surprised me by not arguing. The pain must have been excruciating because she leaned her head on my chest as I carried her to my truck. Once I got her inside and buckled, I climbed in the driver’s seat and proceeded to get her to someone that could help.

  Aria was quiet for the whole ride. She stared out the window as I drove, and I didn’t push to have a conversation. When we arrived at the Emergency Room my wife did all the talking. She was placed in a wheel chair and thankfully taken back after being triaged right away. I didn’t know if she wanted me there with her, but I followed along anyway. Aria may have loathed the idea of being close to me, but I was still in this until she forced me out.