“Things are just so messed up right now. My world feels like it’s upside down. I’m second-guessing everything I’ve ever known or believed in. Things are just a disaster.”

  “A beautiful disaster,” her mother commented and nodded knowingly. “It sounds a lot like growing up to me.”

  “I guess so,” Jordan said, wishing it were that simple a concept.

  “What’s got you so confused?”

  Jordan gulped. Confused was exactly the word she had hoped to avoid. She shook her head, casting her eyes downward as she tried to gather her thoughts.

  “I’m just going through a hard time, I think.”

  In the moments of silence that followed, her mother’s brow creased as she searched for the right words to comfort her obviously distraught daughter. “Have you talked to Janelle about any of it, sweetie?” she finally asked.

  “Unfortunately,” Jordan said, regretting the word as soon as it was out of her mouth.

  “Why is that unfortunate?”

  The genuine concern in her mother’s voice made Jordan wish she had just kept her mouth shut about all of it. “It’s not,” she said quickly. “It’s just that Janelle is reading too much into everything I tell her, and she’s been really judgmental and weird about things. She has rules I have to follow and just gets strange about every situation.”

  In an instant, Jordan watched as Janelle became someone who was harming Jordan instead of a lifelong friend in her mother’s mind.

  “Are your therapy sessions hurting more than they’re helping? Do you need to stop seeing her? If she is hurting you, I’ll take care of it.”

  While Jordan appreciated the “mama bear” reaction, she wanted to just leave Janelle out of this conversation completely.

  “It’s fine, Mom, but thank you. I’ll handle it all.”

  Squeezing her knee, her mother gave Jordan a smile. “You don’t have to handle it on your own. Why don’t you try to talk to me about it, and then maybe you won’t need to talk to Janelle.”

  Jordan sighed. She had opened up the can of worms, and now she had to give her mother something, or she was going to get upset.

  Just as she had done when Jordan was a small child, her mother leaned over and kissed her on the head, cupping her face between her hands. “I love you,” she said gently, bringing back memories of the hundreds of times she had done exactly that over the years.

  Nostalgia washed over Jordan, making her long for simpler times. But, the questioning look in her mother’s eyes brought her back to reality. In this moment, nothing was simple.

  “I got myself into a bit of a bad situation,” she finally admitted. “I think I made a mistake, but I’m not sure. It doesn’t feel like a mistake, but I’m facing the consequences either way.”

  Jordan looked down, and then regained eye contact with her mother, who looked even more confused after Jordan’s vague and jumbled confession.

  “Talk to me, Jordan,” she urged. “Whatever it is, I can take it. Stop dancing around the truth, and just talk to me. I’m here for you.”

  Her words all started to run together in Jordan’s mind, drowned out by the reminders in her head that her mother’s view of her could be forever altered by a simple confession. Finally deciding to bite the bullet, she felt—more than participated in—the blurting out of the truth she never wanted her mother to know.

  “I kissed Taylor…or Taylor kissed me. I’m not really sure.”

  She watched closely for a reaction, but her mother masked it well.

  Leaning in more closely as if she was gaining top-secret information, her mother tilted her head to the side. “Do you like girls?”

  “No,” Jordan’s response was quick.

  “Do you like boys?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay, do you like Taylor?”

  The sheer insight in the question took the air out of Jordan’s lungs. She had been trying to answer the same question all along, even though she knew the answer all too well. But, now the question hung in the air so blatantly calling out to her to answer.

  Instead, she looked away. “I don’t know,” she finally answered.

  In the awkward silence that followed, Jordan wished she could run away and do this all over again. She should have never come here, and she definitely should have never trusted herself to keep her secret.

  Her mother cleared her throat, forcing Jordan to stop plotting the quickest escape route. “I love you—no matter what,” she said gently. “You know that, right?”

  Jordan nodded. She had honestly been unsure of the answer until just now, but the words were reassuring.

  “But, I’m not going to tell your father about this,” she continued. “You and I both know how he would react. So, if you need to talk, I’m not sure I’m equipped to deal with this in a proper manner, but I will be here for you. You’re my daughter, and I’ll help you through whatever you need.”

  Even though unconditional love was being expressed, Jordan could hear the unspoken undertones. The message was clear: her father wouldn’t approve, and if she needed help to fix this or make it go away, her mother was more than willing to help.

  She had never doubted that her parents wouldn’t approve, and now she had solid evidence to back up that theory. Now, the only question that hung over her head was whether or not she wanted to make it go away.

  After assuring her mom that there was nothing to figure out, and that she was just being an overdramatic girl, she left the house feeling empty.

  There was no denying the fact that she was alone in this battle, any more than there was no denying that she was more confused than ever.

  On the drive back to Janelle’s house, she tried to waste as much time as possible. She didn’t want to be back under lock and key. Instead, she longed for some basic freedoms, but she apparently had forgone that option the minute she had started sleeping with Taylor.

  “Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it.”

  She repeated the words over and over again, reminding herself of one of her lifelong mottos. If need be, she was strong enough to stand alone. That much she had already proven. But she also knew that it might be time for help—legitimate and beneficial help.

  Deciding to go on a moment’s courage, she picked up her phone and dialed the number that she had memorized, despite the urgings she had received to just forget it and all details of Taylor Reeves.

  After a few rings, she heard Taylor’s confused voice fill the line.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey,” Jordan said, her voice small and weak sounding.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’d like to talk if you have some time this afternoon.”

  She waited in the silent seconds that followed, unsure if Taylor would even want to bother with all the drama that Jordan had caused.

  “Sorry,” Taylor said after a moment. “You just caught me by surprise. In fact, I wasn’t even sure it was really you when you called. I thought maybe Janelle was playing some kind of game, warning me to stay away—or else. But, yeah, I’d love to chat whenever you’re free.”

  Jordan felt relief flood through her. “Can I head to your house in a few minutes?”

  Taylor’s smile was evident in her voice. “Of course.”

  Jordan hung up and tried to ignore the way her body reacted at the thought of that beautiful smile. Fighting to regain control of her shivering body, she headed back, giving into the magnetism of her heart.

  If nothing else, being with Taylor would give her the chance to talk through her fears, doubts and feelings—free from judgment. It was something she had needed more than anything else in the world. For all of the support she offered, her mother didn’t understand, and she probably never would. This was not something she had ever dealt with; nor was it something she was comfortable addressing.

  With Taylor, though, Jordan knew that she was free—free to talk and sort through the chaos without wondering if love would be removed with her words.

  Once she arrived in front of Taylor’s house, she couldn’t get out of the car fast enough. Any hesitation that would have held her back had vanished. There was only one person she wanted to see, consequences be damned.

  She reached up and knocked quickly and steadily on the door, waiting with growing anticipation. Before her fist could knock a second time, Taylor opened the door, her smile stretching across her face.

  Without a word, Jordan threw her arms around Taylor, pulling her into an embrace. While she resisted the urge to take in Taylor’s scent, she couldn’t deny the way her body clung tighter than it should.

  “I’m happy to see you too,” Taylor said with a laugh, pulling her even closer before stepping back to take in the sight of Jordan.

  “It feels like it’s been forever,” Jordan said. “I feel like I’ve been gone from you for so long.”

  “I know the feeling. Hours turned into days, and days into weeks, and before long it felt like you might not even know me if you saw me.”

  Jordan laughed, breaking the seriousness of the moment. “Look at us, acting like drama queens. At least we’re here together now. I’ve missed my friend.”

  Jordan tried to ignore the way Taylor’s smile dropped slightly at the use of the word “friend,” but when she couldn’t, she looked away momentarily.

  “You said you wanted to talk?” Taylor asked, taking a seat on the couch. “Come sit with me.”

  Nodding nervously, Jordan took a seat on the opposite end of the couch, making sure to leave some distance between the two of them. If she knew anything at all, it was that her overpowering lust for Taylor couldn’t be contained. She was going to have to stay on guard, or she would end up back in Taylor’s arms—receiving as much of a mind fuck as a physical one. That was the last thing she needed, at least until she got her thoughts back in order.

  “What’s going on? How have you spent your weeks in solitary confinement?”

  Jordan gazed at her, simply taking in the quirky way she chose to word her sentences and enjoying the comfort of her company. Shaking her head, she tried to explain what she had been through since she had last spoken with Taylor.

  “In a word, it’s been hell. I see no one, aside from Janelle and occasionally Trevor. Janelle is the bitch she’s always been, and Trevor goes back and forth between being stoned out of his mind and mentally absent from what’s happening in the world around him to hitting on me. I guess I’d do the same if I had her for a mother, though. She’s awful. She’s overbearing. She’s condescending. I have these torturous therapy sessions in which she tries to make me hate you, and if I answer wrong, I receive strange assignments that feel more like punishments. She monitors everything I do, and if I step out of line, I face the fear of her running and telling my parents.”

  She took a deep breath. “I told my mom some of what happened, though.”

  Taylor’s nose crinkled as her face cracked into a smile. “You told her? Good for you. Take some wind out of Janelle’s sails. If she doesn’t have the power of blackmail, she has nothing to hold you there.”

  “That’s just the problem,” Jordan said. “I couldn’t tell her everything, and even though she tried to still show me love, it was difficult for her to take in what I told her. I just don’t know if I can risk her finding out the full truth—or worse, my father finding out what I’ve been doing. They would both be crushed, and I’m still not sure that this lifestyle is even what I want. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

  Taylor nodded and tried to keep her facial expressions neutral as she listened.

  “It’s not that I don’t want you,” Jordan said, realizing how her words must have sounded. “I’m not trying to figure out if I want to be with you. Of course I do. But, it’s just that my world feels like it’s spinning, and I can’t get it to stop. I can’t tell what’s right and wrong anymore, and I don’t want to do something that’s wrong.”

  “Does it feel wrong when we’re together?”

  “Nothing has ever felt more right than when I get so lost in you that I can’t tell where I end and you begin.”

  Reaching out gently and slowly, as if Jordan were a timid animal who might run at the slightest movement, Taylor extended her hand. The invitation was clear, and it packed more power than Jordan would have liked to admit. Electricity coursed through her body as she closed the distance and grabbed Taylor’s hand.

  Sitting hand in hand on the couch with Taylor, Jordan felt her passions, her love, and her lust build. “I’m not sure I can resist,” Jordan said huskily.

  “Then don’t.”

  Gazing deeply into Taylor’s eyes, Jordan listened as their breathing grew labored. With the simple touch of a hand, she felt as if she might have an orgasm right there. The sheer intensity of Taylor’s touch sent pulsations of heat through her entire body.

  “Tell me what you feel,” Taylor said with a wicked grin.

  “I feel everything,” Jordan said. “There aren’t really words for it.”

  “Put words to it. Tell me what you feel, what you think, and what you want.”

  The challenge in Taylor’s tone sent a fresh set of chills through her. With a single wink from Taylor, Jordan felt all resolve leave her body. There was nothing wrong in this situation, except for the fact that Taylor was too far away from her.

  “I feel like I can’t wait to have you slide across this couch. I think that I love you. And, all I want is to be yours.”

  With a sideways grin, Taylor moved closer to Jordan, taking her in her arms.

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you.”

  Deciding not to give Taylor the option of holding out, Jordan wrapped her arms around Taylor’s neck and pulled her in closer. Stopping just short of a kiss, Jordan used her tongue to trace the pattern of Taylor’s lip and pulled the bottom lip into her mouth, gently sucking and listening as a small moan escaped from Taylor’s lips.

  Throwing caution to the wind, she dove in to deepen the kiss. As their lips danced against each other, she felt her passion grow to the point that she could no longer resist.

  Weaving the fabric of the bottom of Taylor’s shirt in her fingers, she pulled back to look into Taylor’s eyes.

  “May I?”

  “Please do,” Taylor said, lust glazing her eyes.

  Not waiting for any further invitation, Jordan pulled the shirt off in one swift motion and reached back to unhook Taylor’s bra. Staring at her beautiful breasts as they sprang free, Jordan knew there was no denying what she felt—what she knew about herself.

  As she gently sucked Taylor’s already hardened nipple, Taylor threw her head back and let out a sigh of pleasure, lost in her longing.

  She practically tore away Jordan’s clothes until they both lay naked. Body against body, they moved rhythmically, and Jordan felt uninhibited ecstasy flood her body.

  When Taylor’s mouth found its way to her most intimate places, Jordan gave in with a loud cry. Afterward, Taylor came back up beside her, laying skin on skin as their breathing returned to normal.

  “I love you,” Jordan whispered, pressing her lips to Taylor’s forehead.

  “I love you, too.”

  “That’s all that matters, isn’t it?” Jordan asked, knowing the answer before it was spoken.

  “It’s all that matters to me. You’re all that matters to me.”

  Wrapping her arms tighter around Taylor, she knew that truth had been spoken. It didn’t matter what her parents thought or what anyone in this small community thought. It didn’t matter what she had been taught, or all the derogatory remarks she had heard about “the gays” over the years. None of it mattered, except for the fact that she had found the one who made her soul come alive and dance. She had found the person who understood the depths of her being—her one in seven billion.

  Contented, she sighed peacefully, even though the questions of how to make it work still lingered in the back of her mind.

  “We will get through whatever comes,” Taylor said, tracing Jordan’s jawline with her fingertips. “My parents already know. I came out to them, and they’re not thrilled—but they’ll learn to live with it. Your mom has an idea of what’s going on in your life, and the rest of the world can deal with it. It’s none of their damn business anyway.”

  Jordan looked at Taylor in amazement. “You came out to them?”

  Taylor’s smile grew. “I did, because there’s no reason to hide who I am. I love who I am, and I’ve accepted all the things that I was taught to hate. And, even more than that, I love you. Plain and simple. You love me. I don’t throw that word around, and I’m pretty sure you don’t either. My love is deep and strong and not easily shaken. It will take a lot more than the judgment of small-town America to ruin something this rare and precious.”

  Jordan nodded, hoping that Taylor’s stubbornness and strength would lend itself to her. These days, she felt anything but strong. But, she was in love. That much was certain, and she was willing to fight for it.

  “I promise you we will be okay. We can make this work, and I know we can make each other so much happier together than we would be if we fought it.”

  “I know,” Jordan said. “I’ve done a lot of thinking, and I know it’s ridiculous to keep fighting it like this. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, and so many things I never even imagined I needed. I want to be with you, I want to be everything you need, too.”

  Taylor kissed her on the forehead, and Jordan felt her body relax for the first time in weeks. Every bit of tension released as she breathed in the sweet smell of Taylor’s perfume. No longer able to keep her eyes open, she rested her head on Taylor’s chest and fell into a deep sleep.

  Jordan wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but when she heard an angry pounding on the door, she woke with a start. Trying to adjust her eyes to the darkened room, she looked around and realized she was in Taylor’s living room.

  “Shit!” she exclaimed. “How long have I been asleep?”

  Taylor emerged from the back room. “Keep your voice down,” she said quietly. “We have a visitor, who I’m guessing is here looking for you.”