“I want you too, but I want you to be sure. I don’t know if you know what you’re doing to me right now.”

  Jordan tried to lock her legs around Taylor’s waist, but Taylor sat back on her knees and offered a hand to Jordan to help her up.

  “Here,” she said. “Let’s take a little bit of a breather.”

  Knowing Taylor was right, Jordan sat up next to her. Still, knowing it was right did nothing to calm the storm of desire she felt.

  “I don’t want to stop,” she said with a frustrated shrug. “For the first time in my life, I don’t want to stop.”

  Taylor took her hand and brought it to her lips. “Jordan, I don’t want to stop either, but I want you to be sure you want to do this, and I want to make sure you’re ready.”

  “What do I need to do to get ready?” Jordan asked innocently.

  Taylor’s smile grew. “There’s no protocol or instruction pamphlet. I just want you to think about it first. I mean, you are a virgin. This is a big deal, and I want to make sure you want to do this. I’m not going to take advantage of how you feel right now, no matter how badly I want to sleep with you.”

  “You want to sleep with me?” Jordan asked with a devilish grin.

  “Was that ever in question?” Taylor shot back with a wink.

  The move filled Jordan with renewed desire. Even so, she fought to respect the boundary Taylor had erected.

  “Thank you for respecting me enough to make sure that I’m ready,” Jordan said. “But, to be honest, I wish you would just put down your guard and fuck me.”

  It was the first time she had ever spoken those words aloud, and she watched as they started a fire in Taylor’s eyes.

  Taylor leaned over and gently kissed Jordan’s earlobe. Taking it in between her teeth, she bit gently and sucked before moving to whisper in her ear. “You’re pretty damn sexy and I promise that one day soon I will make love to you.” The heat of her breath made Jordan’s heart race. “Then, I’ll hold you until you’re ready again, and at that point, I will fuck you until you scream.”

  Jordan trembled at the words, for the first time wanting nothing more than to fall into Taylor and give into the desires of her body.

  “For now, though,” Taylor continued to whisper as she moved down to kiss Jordan along her collarbone, “I will simply kiss you and give you time to consider your decision.”

  With that, she took Jordan in her arms once again and kissed her, making Jordan suddenly understand the phrase “weak in the knees.”

  “If you’re not going to give in, I think you should probably stop kissing me,” Jordan gasped. “It’s the last thing I want, but you’re making me crazy.”

  Taylor leaned back and smiled. “You’re making me pretty crazy too,” she said. “What if we eat a little ice cream and then I’ll leave you to think about your decision?”

  Jordan nodded. The only decision she wanted to make was to throw caution to the wind and, for once in her life, live wildly. But she knew that Taylor had a lot of life experience, and if she thought it was a good idea to wait, she had a reason.

  Taylor handed Jordan the carton of somewhat melted ice cream and grabbed a spoonful for herself. As if sensing Jordan’s internal questioning, Taylor cautioned, “It’s just a good idea to make sure you’re ready. I care about you too much to allow you to make that big a decision on a whim with me.”

  Jordan shook her head but Taylor held up her hand in response. “I promise, Jordan, you’ll feel better if you take some time to think about it. I don’t want to be the one who moves too quickly with you. You are far too special for that.”

  The words touched a part in Jordan’s soul that had seemed dead for so long. Someone this incredible thought she was special. She knew she was in some way special, but having Taylor feel the same sent her heart soaring.

  As they finished up their ice cream, Jordan wanted nothing more than to take Taylor back to her bedroom.

  “Have a good night,” Taylor said, leaning down to plant one single kiss on Jordan’s head.

  “You too,” Jordan said, trying to disguise her disappointment. “Thank you for tonight.”

  Taylor winked and walked out the door.

  Jordan tried to figure out what was going on in her head. For years, she had suppressed everything she had felt for women, but now it was undeniable. She felt tears once again sting the corners of her eyes, and this time she didn’t fight them.

  Taylor had been right about one thing.

  She needed time to figure this whole thing out before she made any big decisions.

  Chapter Seven

  As she wrapped up her morning jog, Maggie Weston reveled in how the sun streamed through the sky, creating a canvas of beautiful colors in the early morning light.

  At times like this, it seemed like there was nothing in the world that could go wrong. The birds sang sweetly overhead, and each of her muscles ached in a way that showed that her workout was working. She closed her eyes and took a long, deep breath, rejoicing in the calm of the moment.

  She knew all too well that it would be over soon, and it would all come crashing back into her like a rogue wave. It had been a rough year. Between regular everyday stressors, her daughter had been at the forefront of her worries for some time now.

  As she made her way back to the house, she envisioned how Jordan had been as a young girl. Always so full of life and so much larger than life. Her green eyes always sparkled with a hint of mischief and with a fire that only a dreamer could show. Her goals and dreams had lifted her through so much of her life, and she had always been working toward something. She pushed harder, ran faster, and worked more diligently than anyone Maggie had ever known. That intensity carried over to the way that Jordan loved and cared for those around her.

  It had all changed when she got injured. It was now as if Jordan were a lost girl, no longer tethered to any goals or plans. It had taken its toll on Jordan—and on the family as well. It was hard to see Jordan so uncertain and so confused.

  Giving in to her stress, without conscious thought Maggie brought her index finger to her mouth and started biting her nail. As soon as she realized what she was doing, she scolded herself.

  Like mother, like daughter. They had always been so much alike—even straight down to their bad habits—but now she didn’t know how to help.

  In the house, her cell phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. It was early, and the call startled her until she remembered that it was the first Monday of the month. It was her monthly morning chat with one of her best friends.

  “Good morning,” Maggie answered, as she headed back outside to sit on the patio to enjoy some sunshine while she chatted with Janelle.

  “Good morning to you, too,” Janelle responded. “How are you doing today?”

  “I’m honestly having somewhat of a rough day,” Maggie said, suddenly letting go of her need to keep the issue quiet.

  “What’s going on?” Janelle questioned warmly.

  She always seemed so sincere, and Maggie felt like she could trust her. Besides, she needed advice on what to do for Jordan. Janelle’s kids always seemed happy enough, and maybe another mother could shed some light on the situation.

  “It’s Jordan,” she said. “I don’t know how to help her. She’s been going through a really tough time in her life, and I feel like she’s losing herself.”

  “She’s been coming to the young adults group at the church, hasn’t she?” Janelle asked.

  “She actually has,” Maggie said. “Maybe I’m blowing the whole thing out of proportion, and maybe she’ll be back to her old self after a few more weeks of regular church time. I just can’t stop thinking that she deserves more happiness from life than she’s allowing herself. I’m afraid she’s selling herself short and taking this basketball thing much harder than she needs to. I’m probably overreacting. I’m just used to seeing my smiling, sunshiny Jordan. I miss her.”

  “Well, a mother always knows best when to be concerned,” Janelle said. “Maybe she just needs to talk about it all with someone. Will she open up to you?”

  Maggie considered the question. As a young girl, there was nothing at all that Jordan kept a secret from her. She was always the first to confide in her mom, and the two had developed an unparalleled closeness compared to any mother and daughter relationship she had encountered. But, this was different. This time, it didn’t seem like Jordan wanted to talk to anyone.

  Finally she answered, “No, I don’t think she will—not about this anyway.”

  “Well, I happen to know a pretty nice counselor if you think she might open up to someone outside her family,” Janelle said with a laugh.

  “Do you think she would?” Maggie asked, asking herself the same question. “She’s known you for years.”

  “Yeah, but she hasn’t really been around me that much lately,” Janelle said. “Besides, I have a confidentiality law. I’m not allowed to tell anyone—including you—anything we talk about in that room.”

  “Okay,” Maggie said, trying to convince herself. She had never imagined she would be the type of person with a daughter in therapy, and she never imagined that her daughter would need therapy. It was all a little too much to deal with this morning, but she knew that Jordan would be in good hands with Janelle.

  She took a deep breath to move forward with what she knew she needed to do. “You’ve always been a good friend to me, Janelle,” Maggie said. “I know you’ll take good care of my Jordan, and I think maybe we should set up an appointment.”

  As they hashed out the details of Jordan’s class schedule and when they could schedule the appointment, Maggie second-guessed her decision. She remembered the people who had warned her not to trust Janelle at the beginning of their friendship. She recalled the ugly things they had said. According to this backbiting little town, Janelle was a liar, a gossip and couldn’t be trusted.

  Reminding herself of Janelle’s years of loyal friendship, she cast those thoughts aside. For years, she had been a friend, and she cared about Jordan. She would help Jordan.

  Forcing positive thoughts, Maggie put down her protective mother claws and booked the appointment.

  “Do you think she’ll show up?” Janelle asked.

  “I hope so,” Maggie said. “Too bad she’s not little enough anymore to trick by telling her I’ll take her for ice cream.”

  They both laughed.

  “Do you know if she has been enjoying the young adult group?” Janelle asked.

  “I think she has,” Maggie answered. “Every time I’ve asked her about it, she has said that the group is all right, and the people are pretty cool. Those are her words, at least.”

  Janelle laughed. “At least our church has cool people, I guess. We’ve got to keep those young people coming back somehow.”

  Maggie agreed, and as they wrapped up their conversation, she convinced herself she had done what was best for her daughter. She hoped that soon she would have her daughter back and as full of life as she had always been.

  Yet she couldn’t help but feel like she had betrayed the trust that she and Jordan had always shared. They hadn’t kept secrets from one another, they didn’t trick each other and they certainly didn’t go behind each other’s backs. Yet, that’s just what she had done.

  With a deep breath, she dismissed her thoughts. Jordan needed help.

  * * *

  Making the addition to her appointment book, Janelle shook her head. She truly did feel for Maggie. As one of her oldest friends, the last thing she wanted was for Maggie’s daughter to go through a tough time or to make poor decisions.

  She thought of her own son and all the trouble that he was going through, and she silently vowed that she would not stand idly by and let Jordan go through anything similar.

  Although she had not actually seen Jordan in a few years, she remembered her as a vivacious, sweet little thing with such a positive attitude. It pained her to think that the smiling girl who could light up an entire room might be disappearing forever. She would do everything in her power to ensure that was not the case.

  For reasons that she couldn’t explain, her hands were shaking when she picked up her phone. She was going to have to do a better job of not being so damn insecure.

  “Hi, Jordan,” Janelle said warmly. “It’s Janelle—your mother’s friend.”

  There was a slight pause. “Hi, Janelle,” Jordan said, confusion in her voice. “Is something wrong? My mom is okay, isn’t she?”

  “Everything is fine,” Janelle said, feeling guilty for having woken the girl up in a panic. “I actually just got off the phone with your mom a little bit ago. She gave me your number and asked if I would give you a call.”

  “Okay,” Jordan said slowly.

  Janelle stifled a laugh. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be on the other end of this call, having no clue what was happening.

  “She told me you’ve been going to the young adults group at our church,” Janelle said, hoping to ease her nerves and guide her into easy conversation.

  “I am,” Jordan said. “I’ve actually been enjoying it quite a bit.”

  “Good. I’m glad to hear that. I really am.”

  “Thanks,” Jordan said awkwardly. “What else did my mom tell you?”

  Leave it to a young person to always have suspicions.

  “She said you’ve been going through somewhat of a tough time,” Janelle answered cautiously.

  “I really don’t think that’s any of my mom’s business to be spreading,” Jordan said sternly. “I appreciate the call, but I’m fine.”

  The sweet, good-natured Jordan whom Janelle had once known was not the girl on the phone today. The thought upset her.

  “She didn’t go into detail, honey,” Janelle said gently. “She just said you might need someone to talk to. I’m a counselor, and she thought maybe I could help.”

  “I know you’re a counselor,” Jordan said. It was obvious that she was trying to keep the edge out of her voice, but she was clearly irritated. “I do not need therapy. I am fine.”

  “It’s not therapy, Jordan,” she said. “It’s just a chance to talk to an old friend about what’s going on in your life. It’s a chance to open up and shed some of what has been bothering you.”

  Jordan sighed. “My mom already booked me an appointment, didn’t she?”

  Her tone was defeated, but that made Janelle happy. It sounded as if she would give in if her mother called the shots.

  “She actually has,” Janelle said. “But she did so around your class schedule, and it’s totally up to you whether or not you show up.”

  She hated giving her an out, but she knew it was often essential to ensure that clients didn’t get cold feet and run. They had to think this was their idea.

  “I don’t really have a choice,” Jordan said. All of the fire had gone out of her voice. “When is it?”

  “Tomorrow at noon,” Janelle said. “We don’t even have to meet at my office. I was thinking maybe we could go to a restaurant and grab some lunch to make it a little more casual.”

  “Is your office at the church?” Jordan asked.

  “It is.”

  “Okay,” Jordan said. “I will meet you there at noon. I was going to swing by there anyway.”

  “What are you doing at the church tomorrow?” Janelle asked, trying to hide the overt curiosity.

  “I am meeting a friend,” Jordan said. “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks.”

  With that, Jordan disconnected the call. Janelle had a pretty good idea which “friend” Jordan was going to see. Taylor occasionally had friends for coffee in the church lounge. Janelle had heard Pastor Reeves explaining one day that it was her way of reaching out and bringing people into the church. The way Janelle saw it, it was simply her way of bringing people in to make them take her side in matters that should be none of her concern. She had a way of forming an army of allies. Even in the short time Taylor had lived here, Janelle had witnessed it.

  The thought disgusted her. That was probably why the girl was so depressed. She was spending far too much time associating with bad influences.

  * * *

  Jordan placed her phone on the kitchen table and immediately burst into tears. Her mom had no clue how fucked up she was, and with the very little she actually knew she still thought that Jordan needed therapy.

  Looking down at her shaking hands through blurry tears, she wanted to be anywhere but here. She wanted to be back into her place of denial. And, for a fleeting moment, she wished she had never met Taylor Reeves.

  Chapter Eight

  “The mail is here,” a voice called from the kitchen.

  “I’ll go get it,” she piped up, eager to get out of the house full of screaming children.

  Even at eleven years old, she knew how important a little time alone was to her, and she knew that if she didn’t get it, she would get even more annoyed. She was tired of her cousins coming over, and she wanted a little fresh air. Every time they came over, it seemed like they teased her more and more. They were relentless and mean.

  She recognized that she was not the typical girl who wanted to play with dolls and play house. Usually, her friends at school were all boys, and they let her join in with their fun games. Her cousins, on the other hand, were all boys and seemed to delight in leaving her out of the fun.

  They called her names far too often, and they made her feel ashamed for being a tomboy. Today, even her mother had agreed with them.

  “You need to act like a little lady,” she had scolded, much to the boys’ delight.

  They had stood behind her mom, sticking out their tongues and mocking Jordan, making her feel even more alone. She needed to get away from them—all of them—even if only for a few minutes.

  Bounding out the door, she relished the beauty of the sunshine on her way to the mailbox. Just for fun, she let her guard down and danced crazily on the sidewalk. For these moments there was no one to tell her that she was not being ladylike or that she needed to stand up straight.

  Even though there would be nothing for her in the mail, she went through the stack of paper. At the bottom, she found a department store catalog.