“I mainly practice family law cases,” he said, his chest puffing out as he talked. Taylor couldn’t help but wonder if he knew how transparent he looked. “I feel like people in tough situations need a champion.”

  Had he really just called himself a champion as if no one would think that odd? She fought to keep herself from shaking her head, and looked over to see her parents hanging on every word he said.

  “Divorces and custody battles are dirty, and people just need someone strong to turn to in those times,” he continued.

  She wished that she had a drink to slam to get through this, but kept listening as he continued to babble. There was no doubt he was successful as a lawyer. He could talk and talk. He probably bored the other side, until they just gave up.

  By the time dinner was over, she felt like she could have written a book about Luke Carter, but she figured it would have been so dry and boring that no one would have even bothered to pick it up off the shelves. Had she written it, she would have titled it The Life and Times of a True Champion, just for satirical purposes.

  Once conversation had died down, Taylor stood and helped her mom clear the table. Thankfully, Luke and her father went to go talk baseball in the other room.

  “What do you think?” her mom asked, nudging her in the side.

  Taylor sighed. She didn’t want to get into this argument again. She had heard it all before. She wasn’t putting herself out there enough, and she wasn’t getting any younger. Her mother was always quick to remind her that her clock was ticking, and if she didn’t settle down soon she was going to miss out on the opportunity to complete her life by having a husband and children.

  “He was nice,” she finally managed.

  “Nice?” Donna questioned. “I was hoping more along the lines of hot, amazing or intriguing.”

  Taylor laughed. “I’m sure he’s all of those things, Mom. I’m just not sure he’s a good fit for me.”

  “Why not?” her mother asked, thumping down a pan. She’d gone to a lot of trouble with this dinner and her irritation was rising.

  “I don’t know,” she said, shrugging. She wanted to scream that he was just too damn perfect but not at all perfect for her. Instead, she decided to appease her mother. “Let’s just play it by ear, okay? If he asks me on a date, I’ll go. If not, we’ll move on without a word.”

  Donna looked like she might protest, but instead, she nodded. “Deal.”

  Taylor smiled. It was very rare for her mother to concede on anything, let it go without further cross-examination. Perhaps she should go buy a lottery ticket, because it looked like luck was in her favor today. She finished washing and drying the dishes, while her mother hummed and helped.

  She had felt her phone vibrating a couple of times throughout dinner and she reached into her back pocket to see what was going on.

  There was a missed call from Jordan and two text messages.

  Hey. Call me when you get this.

  An hour later, the next one read: I’m sure you’re busy, but, if you still want to come over tonight, you should.

  She looked at the time. Jordan’s dinner date should still be going, or at the very least should have just ended. She hoped it hadn’t gone badly.

  “What’s wrong?” Donna asked.

  Taylor shook her head. “Nothing is wrong, Mom. I just have a friend that needs some help. Do you mind if I head out now?”

  The disappointment on her mom’s face was evident, but she nodded anyway. “Go ahead,” she said reluctantly.

  “Thank you for that wonderful dinner,” she said, giving her a hug. “I’ll be over soon.”

  To keep her mom at least somewhat appeased, she also went into the living room to hug her father and thank Luke for coming over to dinner. Whether he was disappointed or not she could not read in his bland, perfect, lawyerly features. She glanced back into the kitchen where Donna was grinning like a love-struck teenager. It might be some consolation that she’d have Luke to herself for as long as he chose to remain.

  Shaking her head in a mix of amusement and irritation, she made her way to her car. Then hit the callback button.

  After three rings, Jordan picked up the phone.

  “Hello?” she said, her voice suddenly sounding smaller than it had been earlier.

  “What’s wrong?” Taylor asked, already knowing enough about Jordan to intuit that she was upset.

  “Nothing really,” Jordan said. “What have you been up to?”

  “I got sucked into dinner at my parents’ house, but I’ll tell you all about that later,” Taylor said. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “I don’t know,” Jordan said. “Nothing is wrong. I’m just having a bad night.”

  “Do you still want me to come over?” Taylor asked.

  “I’d love that.”

  “Good,” Taylor said with a smile. “Ben, Jerry, and I will be there in a little bit.”

  Chapter Six

  Biting her nails, Jordan paced anxiously by the doorway. When she finally heard Taylor’s car drive up, she quickly sat on the couch. She didn’t want to appear like she had been desperately waiting for company.

  The thought made her sick to her stomach. When had she become the girl who depended on someone else to make her feel better? She let out a sigh that became more of a sigh of relief as she heard the knock on the door.

  “Come in,” Jordan called, hoping she didn’t look too keyed up from the night’s events. She tried to straighten her rumpled shirt.

  The door opened slowly, and she saw Kurt awkwardly lean his head in the doorway.

  “Oh, hi,” she said in surprise.

  “Expecting someone else?” Kurt asked, picking up on her tone.

  She nodded. “I have a friend coming over in a few minutes.”

  She spoke the words hoping that he would take the hint and move on without issue.

  “Okay,” he said, hanging his head a bit. “I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to apologize for tonight—for whatever went wrong tonight.”

  Jordan tried to still her emotions, but it was like trying to tame fireflies. There was no question that she was simply a wreck tonight.

  “Was it my joke about your name being a type of gun?” he asked awkwardly.

  Jordan laughed slightly. “No, it wasn’t,” she said. “But, for future reference that’s a Smith and Wesson you were referring to—not Weston.”

  His face turned beet red, and he looked away for a moment. Jordan’s feelings of guilt welled up inside of her, and she wanted to comfort him—but more than anything, she wanted him to go away and leave her to think through everything that was happening.

  She managed a smile, but even she knew that it didn’t quite reach her eyes and looked far too fake. “You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said as she tried her best to comfort him. “I’m just having a bad day, and I think we would be better off as friends.”

  “I’m sorry I tried to push that limit,” he said. “I hope you will still be my friend, at least.”

  “Of course,” she said. She felt like she should go hug him, but that was the last thing she wanted to do at the moment. Instead, she sat on the couch, hugging her knees.

  In the awkward silence, she could plainly see the disappointment on his face, but there was nothing she could do to change it. She knew that much now. There was no way she could force herself to have feelings for him, even if she wanted to—and she did not.

  “Thanks for dinner,” she said, filling the expansive silence. “I’ll see you at the park this week.”

  He pursed his lips and nodded. “Sounds good,” he said.

  There was a brief pause, and he looked like he might explode if he didn’t speak the words that threatened to come out of his mouth.

  “So, there is no chance of us ever being more than friends?”

  The pained look on his face was almost enough to make Jordan agree to a second date, but she just could not stand to lead him on, and she honestly did not know if she would survive another date with Kurt.

  She shook her head. “I’m sorry. You’re really great. I just think that we are much better off as friends.”

  “Okay,” he said, forcing a sad smile. “Thanks again for giving it a shot. Have a good night.”

  With an uncomfortable wave, she sent him on his way. As the door closed behind him, she fought back tears. For years, she had lived with her illusions, and the truth had come crashing through in glaringly obvious fashion tonight.

  And, she feared it was a truth she could not live with, even if she wanted to.

  Another knock at the door sent a shot of hope through her body.

  “Come in,” she called, hoping that there were no more surprise visitors for the evening.

  Relief flooded her when she saw Taylor step through the door with a bright smile. That smile could make just about anything better as far as Jordan was concerned. Its contagious nature spread throughout the room and put Jordan slightly at ease.

  After taking one look at her Taylor asked, “What’s wrong?”

  The compassion was too much, and Jordan felt tears sting the corners of her eyes. She shook her head, waiting for composure to be able to form words.

  Taylor set the shopping bag on the coffee table and moved to Jordan’s side on the sofa. Taking her in her arms, she kissed the top of Jordan’s head and held her close.

  “What happened?” Taylor’s voice was laden with concern. “Did that bastard do something to you?”

  Jordan shook her head, and although she didn’t want to leave the comfort of Taylor’s arms, she brushed away her tears and moved away to look her in the eyes.

  “No,” she said. “He didn’t. I’m sorry. I’m just a mess tonight.”

  “Tell me what’s going on, please,” Taylor said.

  The genuine concern in her eyes burned intensely, and Jordan was unsure how to deal with such a steadfast and attentive friend. Most of her friends were pretty flaky and ran at the sight of human emotion. Now, she had someone begging her to open up and talk about her problems.

  “I just have a lot to figure out,” Jordan finally admitted. “And tonight did not help in any way. In fact, I think I’m more confused now than I’ve ever been.”

  “There’s nothing wrong with a little confusion,” Taylor said as she stood to grab two spoons from Jordan’s silverware drawer.

  Jordan noted how she navigated the kitchen with ease, as if she had been a lifelong friend. She found comfort in the notion.

  “Confusion allows for self-discovery, and that’s all a part of growing up and becoming who you are,” Taylor said. “It’s healthy and normal. What has you so confused?”

  “Life, I guess,” Jordan said with a sad laugh and a shrug as she took the spoon that Taylor handed her.

  “Any specific parts of life?” Taylor inquired gently.

  Jordan took a deep breath. She felt safe here. She had never had a safe space or a friend with whom she could share everything on her mind.

  To get what you’ve never had, you have to do what you’ve never done. The words played through her mind, and she decided to go for it.

  “Love,” she said, her voice no longer timid. “The thing is, tonight, I felt nothing. It was unnecessarily awkward—not even that fun, first date kind of awkward. It was just awkward and painful, and there was nothing to talk about. Halfway through dinner, I realized that I was just staring at him hoping to feel some sort of attraction. But when he reached for my hand, all I could think about was the fact that his palms were probably sweaty, so I pulled away from him.

  “I felt nothing for him. There was zero attraction, and that’s not uncommon for me. I don’t feel that attraction to anyone I date, and I long for it. I mean, I feel it at times when I’m thinking about situations in my head, but I don’t have it with anyone I date.”

  Taylor listened, opening a pint of Cherry Garcia. She placed it into Jordan’s hand and patted her on the shoulder.

  “That’s okay, Jordan,” she said sweetly. “You can’t make yourself feel things that you don’t. If it’s not there, it’s just not.”

  “I appreciate you not trying to appease me by telling me that I’ll find the right one or urging me to give it another shot,” Jordan said. “I’m sick of hearing that.”

  “You and me both,” Taylor laughed, taking a spoonful of the ice cream and popping it into her mouth.

  “This is really good, by the way,” Jordan said, pointing to the container.

  Taylor nodded. “It has magical powers for making bad nights better.”

  They both ate in silence as Taylor gave Jordan the chance to process her thoughts. Taylor was a good listener, and allowed the silence to grow. Finally, Jordan continued. “The thing is, I want to be a normal twenty-something. I want to want to date. I want to have sex. I want to feel that attraction. I just don’t.” She helped herself to another bite of the ice cream, noting just how much easier it made this discussion.

  “I just don’t know if I will ever feel that attraction,” Jordan continued. “I want to. I just never do. Tonight, even after the awful hand holding incident, Kurt moved in to kiss me. Right before it happened, I thought I would throw up if he kissed me. But, I decided I had to give it a shot. He kissed me, and it was the most disgusting thing ever. He is attractive, and he’s a great guy, but the thought of his tongue in my mouth was horrible. The feeling was even worse.”

  Taylor’s head leaned slightly to the side as she listened. “Do you like kissing at all?” she asked.

  “I love kissing, when it’s good, but it’s so hard to find anyone I want to kiss—that I can kiss,” Jordan said. “Most of the time, I find the thought slightly grotesque. Maybe I’m just screwed up or something, but I don’t want to kiss most of the men I date. I don’t know what I want.”

  “Whoever it is you want, that’s the type of person you need to be going after,” Taylor said. “You don’t need to be dating these guys who don’t do it for you. When you think about kissing, who do you think about kissing?”

  Jordan looked down at the ground, knowing that it was now or never.

  Looking back up to meet Taylor’s gaze and to look her right in the eye, she felt a surge of confidence.

  “You,” she said.

  Jordan watched as a war waged in Taylor’s eyes. She had seen the initial attraction and the smoldering blaze, but she also saw restraint and conflict.

  “Please say something,” Jordan finally managed, all of her confidence gone.

  “You haven’t been drinking, have you?” Taylor asked cautiously.

  “Of course not,” Jordan said. “I haven’t had a drop.”

  “And, you want to kiss me?” Taylor asked, the corner of her mouth turning up into a smile that sent a shiver of excitement through Jordan’s body.

  “More than I’ve ever wanted to kiss another person,” Jordan said.

  Without another word, Taylor moved closer to Jordan on the couch. The simple move—and the knowledge of what was coming—made Jordan’s breathing heavier.

  Taylor reached up and cupped Jordan’s chin in her hands. The intensity as her blue eyes stared at Jordan made it seem as if Taylor could see into her soul. There was no question now that they were smoldering with a hungry desire.

  “I’m going to kiss you—if that’s what you want,” Taylor said gently. “If you want me to stop—or if you change your mind in the next couple of seconds, just say so.”

  Jordan couldn’t take it anymore. She had never felt such intensity. Grabbing the back of Taylor’s head, she leaned in for the kiss, crossing the little distance that remained between them. As their lips met, Jordan felt desire course through her body. It deepened as Taylor threw her arms around Jordan’s body and pulled her closer, while their tongues seemed to dance. Taylor had the softest lips she had ever felt, and Jordan felt herself weaken under their caress.

  With each movement, Taylor was sending waves of arousal through Jordan’s body. Too quickly, the kiss ended and Taylor pulled back.

  The desire clouding her eyes was evident, as was her unspoken question.

  “That…” Jordan’s voice trailed off as she fought to catch her breath. “That was incredible.”

  She felt chills up her arms as she replayed the kiss in her mind. That was what a kiss was supposed to feel like.

  Without waiting for approval from Taylor, Jordan leaned in and continued the kiss. Taylor reciprocated and deepened the kiss before pulling back briefly.

  “Please don’t stop,” Jordan pleaded breathlessly.

  Taylor smiled, and it almost sent Jordan over the edge. She had never felt such sheer and raw attraction.

  Instead of stopping, Taylor slid Jordan down so she was lying on the couch with Taylor hovering over her.

  For a fleeting second, Jordan feared where this might go. She had never done this, and her heart was racing. But with one look into Taylor’s eyes, she knew that she would be happy with whatever happened.

  Taylor leaned down and her lips began to play with Jordan’s lips, all the while keeping eye contact. She skimmed her teeth lightly around Jordan’s bottom lip and pulled it into her mouth. As she sucked gently on Jordan’s lip, Jordan felt her entire body tense with passion.

  Feeling as if she couldn’t move as a result of the desire she felt, she whimpered slightly in pleasure. Her whimpers were cut short as Taylor once again plunged her tongue into Jordan’s waiting mouth.

  Jordan reached up and tangled her fingers into Taylor’s hair, holding on tight and pulling Taylor closer to her.

  She angled her hips to close the distance between her body and Taylor’s.

  Taylor slowly pulled back.

  “We shouldn’t do that,” she said huskily.

  “Shouldn’t do what?” Jordan breathed.

  “Not tonight, anyway,” Taylor said. “I care about you a little too much to rip your clothes off and go at it right now. And, if you pull me in like that, I don’t know if I’ll be able to control what I’m feeling right now.”

  Jordan wanted to protest. “I’ve never wanted anyone like I want you.” She was so turned on, she knew it would be painful to stop now.