I tightened my legs around his waist, and he let out a sound that was half surrender, half encouragement. He claimed me with his mouth, his tongue delving in deep, keeping rhythm as he thrust harder and faster, over and over. I cried out as I tumbled headfirst into the abyss of sheer pleasure, the orgasm shattering through me like a mirror breaking into a thousand pieces. My body writhed wildly beneath him as he climaxed with me, holding me close and swallowing up my screams.

  In that moment of hot bliss, I was more connected to Gage than I had ever been. It was as if seven years hadn’t passed, as if we’d somehow fallen back through a window in time.

  As we tried to catch our breath and I began to float down from heaven, I knew I didn’t want to lose him again. Couldn’t bear to lose him again.

  But the reality was, he would leave, and I would stay in New Hope.

  A tear leaked out of my eye and mingled with our sweat, unseen.

  11

  Gage

  Waking in Kelly’s bed with Kelly’s naked back curled into my chest wasn’t where I’d expected to find myself in the morning.

  I had a “no sleepover” rule, which I’d always found easy to keep since I was usually on the road. But I definitely didn’t hate breaking it. My cock pulsed to prove it.

  I knew she would be sore, so I held back. But the warmth of her body was a sensation I didn’t want to give up just yet.

  “Morning.” She stretched and turned, snuggling her head in the crook of my shoulder.

  “Good morning, beautiful.” I kissed the top of her head. “How are you feeling?”

  “Mmm, good, but like I don’t want to move at all. I wish I didn’t have to go to work.”

  “Don’t then. It’d be nice to just block the world out for a while.”

  “Have to,” she groaned and shifted.

  The moment we began to let the real world in, it’d get complex. And Kelly and I couldn’t get away with pretending even to ourselves that this was a hookup, there were far too many intense feelings between us for that.

  “I should get up too. Mom will be waiting for me.”

  “Yeah, I have to pop in and see my mom before work. She’ll send out the cavalry if I don’t.”

  “Why, is that something you do every day?” She nodded against my chest. “Oh wow. You’re dedicated.”

  “She needs me.” There was something almost defensive about Kelly’s tone. “She hasn’t coped well since the accident. She’s come a long way but just isn’t as independent anymore, loses track and forgets to do things like go to the grocery store, so I do a lot of that kind of stuff for her.”

  The idea that Mrs. Cavendish hadn’t recovered from her grief settled over me like a weight. How would I react when the time actually came? Would I always find it hard without my mom around anymore? Kelly’s mother had spent the last seven years of her life without her loved ones. It was a prospect I didn’t look forward to.

  “I better get in the shower…” Kelly’s arm flopped down on the bed, bringing me back into the here and now.

  But I didn’t let her climb out of the sheets just yet. I dragged her in for a morning kiss before real life resumed. I didn’t know what this was, if it was even anything, but right now, I liked it. “I’m only going to let you go if it isn’t for long.”

  “Why? Do you miss me already?”

  I chuckled and pressed my lips against hers one last time. “Yeah, something like that.”

  “You could…always come to my mom’s with me? Say hi. It’s been a while, I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.”

  “Yeah,” I said, though my stomach wanted to tie itself up in a knot. “I could do that. That would be nice.”

  The wonderfully bright smile I got in return was worth any awkwardness the reunion might bring. Maybe it wouldn’t be uncomfortable though. Or maybe she hated me for abandoning her daughter at a time when heartbreak had already consumed her world.

  “Terrific.” Kelly rolled from the bed, and I reluctantly let her go. “I’m headed to the shower, you can have one after if you like.”

  “I’d best, if I’m going to see your mom.”

  “You look nervous.” She squeezed my bicep playfully.

  “I just…I don’t know if she’ll want to see me…”

  “I doubt it’ll be like that. It’s not like we’re dating and I’m taking you home to meet her for the first time. She knows you.” She gave me a slow wink. “Or at least the person you were before you got all bigheaded and famous.”

  “Bigheaded?”

  Her grin took over her face. “Mr. Rock Star, taking over the world one city at a time.” I loved the giggle that burst from her throat as I grabbed for her, but she was fast, sprinting for the bathroom. “I really need to get in the shower.”

  My cock stirred as I admired her curves, her peach-shaped ass, those long legs…she’d always been gorgeous, but she’d transformed into a goddess. It took everything I had not to chase her into the shower to claim her there too. I was still amazed she’d given me her virginity.

  What had she said last night?

  It had always been for me.

  My heart constricted, and I had to blink rapidly to fight the burn in the back of my eyes.

  How had I let this happen?

  I rubbed a hand over my face.

  You asked her out, you doofus.

  I’d gotten in deep by taking one step forward, it was the way it’d always been with us. Inevitable. But now, inevitably I’d go back on tour, and she’d stay here until after…

  I wasn’t ready to think about that.

  What I was ready to think about was how I would’ve trespassed on her shower, pressed her up against the tile as droplets of water streamed all over her, bouncing off her nipples, urging my mouth toward them. I would kiss her everywhere, licking her dry, tasting every damn inch that I could reach. The more I thought about her naked flesh, absolutely dripping wet, covered in bubbling shower gel that slipped all the way down to where I desperately wanted to bury myself, the harder I became.

  “Shit.”

  There wasn’t anything I could do about my steel rod right now, so I needed to focus on something else. Such as trying to make Mrs. Cavendish not hate me. I wanted her to know that I didn’t just abandon her daughter.

  I couldn’t say that though, not without blaming Kelly.

  I’d just have to make Mrs. Cavendish see that I wasn’t the worst person ever. I’d have to show her that I wasn’t the guy portrayed in the media, and I did have a heart.

  Unfortunately, I only had my suit from last night to make an impression with, which not only seemed a little try-hard, but had by now also become crumpled.

  Damn. I didn’t have a choice.

  I rode with Kelly since we were both going to the hospital after her mom’s. My spine increasingly stiffened the closer we got to the house Kelly grew up in. Panic began to coil through my torso like an ice-cold snake, twisting itself up in my guts.

  “Do you really think this is a good idea?” I checked my too-long hair in the mirror. “Your mom might not want to see me.”

  “Why wouldn’t she?”

  “Because she probably thinks I’m a total asswipe?”

  Kelly flashed a million-watt smile, trying her hardest to negate my feelings, but it didn’t shoot my fears down. Nothing would until I knew where I stood.

  “We’re here.” She turned to me, her pretty blue eyes assessing my face. “You don’t have to do this if you—”

  “No, I’m fine. Let’s do this.”

  “You sound like you’re going to war.”

  I snorted, then blew out a lungful of air. “That’s too close to the truth for comfort. Do you have a ponytail holder?”

  She laughed. “You really are nervous.”

  She dug for an elastic band, and I pulled my hair back tight, which almost made me look respectable in the suit, minus the wrinkles.

  Kelly leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. “You look sexy. If I had time, I’d take you in the back seat.”

  I laughed, feeling better at the reference to our old Saturday night pastime—not the taking part, but definitely the back seat part. Smiling, I followed her to the house.

  On the front porch, Kelly slid her key into the lock and pushed open the door. I was hit by a familiar smell from my childhood—baked apples and Mr. Clean and flowers all mixed together. I breathed deep, nostalgia warming me before turning into cold loss.

  “Hi, Mom, I’m here! And I have a surprise!”

  “You do?” I watched Mrs. Cavendish’s face as she came out of the kitchen, waiting for her to scowl. Instead, when her eyes landed on me, they lit up. “Gage!”

  Maybe she didn’t remember what happened.

  “Mrs. Cavendish.”

  She gave me a stink-eye. “You used to call me Mom. I’ll settle for Marie now, but that’ll still be strange coming from you. It’s great to see you. How are you doing?” She pulled me into a motherly hug. “I’m so sorry to hear about Babs. It was such a shock for me.”

  “Yeah, it was for me as well. But she’s doing as well as can be expected. She seems so strong.”

  “She’s always been that way, hasn’t she? Strong through it all.”

  “Oh, Mom.” Kelly slapped her palm against her forehead. “I got so busy talking to Gage on the way over I forgot to pick you up a newspaper. I’ll just run to the store, it’ll only be a minute.”

  “I can get my own pa—”

  “No, Mom. It’s fine.” She darted her eyes between us, looking suddenly nervous. “You’ll be okay?”

  “We’ll be fine,” I assured her.

  Mrs. Cavendish nodded. “I’ll make you a cup of coffee.”

  I loved the Cavendish kitchen. It always smelled of baking, even if there wasn’t anything in the oven. At least, it used to. Looking around, the kitchen barely looked used, and the usual baking wrack that had once never left the counter next to the oven was missing.

  Sadness swam in my stomach while I considered all the things lost. I’d moved on with my life, but it seemed some of the people I’d left behind in New Hope hadn’t managed to. They were stuck in a rut.

  I wanted to help Kelly out of that rut. I didn’t know how I could help her mom, but I’d try.

  While the coffee maker heated up and gurgled out a strong smelling brew, Kelly’s mom asked me about the places I’d traveled. As I told her about Japan and London, I imagined taking Kelly away from this small, constricting place and showing her the world. After glimpsing a bit of her old spark over the past couple of days, I wondered if she’d be willing to leave. I’d love to take her to London, to Tokyo, to Cape Town…all the amazing cities we’d played.

  The world was a much bigger place than New Hope. I wanted to show her that. For her and for myself.

  It’d be amazing to have her by my side, because over the past couple days, I’d learned one thing. What we once shared was real. Kelly was real. She wouldn’t ever be one of the hangers-on who only wanted to be near me for my money and fame. She’d loved me when I was a no one.

  And if I wasn’t mistaken, a spark of that love might remain inside her still.

  “Kelly worries too much about me.” I jumped when Mrs. Cavendish dragged me from my thoughts. “She seems to think I can’t do anything for myself. I can go to the store, and I do. She just doesn’t know.”

  “Oh…” Why was she telling me this? Had she slipped so much that she didn’t even realize she needed help? “I’m sure she’s just trying to care for you.”

  “I know that, and don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate it, but I don’t want her to spend her whole life worrying about me. I’m concerned that she’s wasting her life looking after me unnecessarily.”

  Mrs. Cavendish poured our coffee and set a mug in front of me at the table, taking a seat across from me. I wondered if she knew I’d taken her daughter’s virginity less than twelve hours ago, would she still confide in me. Or would she find that rolling pin that probably hadn’t been used in years? This had the potential to get sticky, and I didn’t do sticky situations well.

  Before I found a way to politely back out of the conversation, she continued, “I know she loves her job here, and I think she’s mostly happy…she tells me she is, but I think Kelly must be lonely. She doesn’t seem to do much aside from work and helping me. I keep telling her she doesn’t need to, but we both know how stubborn she is.”

  I grinned. “Kelly’s seems to still be as stubborn as I remember.”

  Mrs. Cavendish smiled back at me, but there was a deep sadness in her eyes. “I did need her in the beginning, I’ll admit that. I relied on her too much because I couldn’t cope after Hank and Stephen’s accident, so maybe this is all my fault, but she won’t believe that I’m okay now.”

  I parted my lips to ask for more details.

  “I’m back!” Kelly yelled from the front of the house, and this time, I could tell it was a fake-happy tone. “I got the paper, and I picked up some milk too. I noticed you were low yesterday.”

  Mrs. Cavendish shot me a knowing look. “Thank you, Kelly, that’s great.”

  Extracting Kelly from New Hope wouldn’t be as easy as I’d thought. The rut wasn’t something that had just happened, it was a place Kelly’d firmly embedded herself. Clearly, taking care of her mother and the patients at the hospital was her way of coping with what happened to her family.

  Would I, even with my promises to show her the world, be enough to pull her away from that?

  12

  Kelly

  “Are you humming?” Millie stopped in the doorway of the supply closet, where I’d propped open the door. “You sound very happy. Much too pleased for someone who’s restocking the supplies. What’s going on with you, missy?”

  I chewed on my bottom lip to stop the words from spilling out. What Gage and I shared wasn’t anything I could share with other people, not when he was known across the world, and especially not when it wasn’t going to amount to anything. At the same time, I was dying to shout to the world about my earth-shattering experience, and I didn’t have anyone I could tell.

  “Some…things have been happening.” I knew my eyes lit up, and probably my whole body. If Millie turned out the light and shut the door, the room would probably glow from my euphoria.

  “Sounds juicy.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. “Might it have anything to do with the reappearance of a certain rock star you tried to convince me you weren’t happy about seeing?”

  Heat crept into my cheeks. It was too late to play it down now, not when I’d lit up like a hundred-watt bulb in the dark. I looked away and shrugged. “It might.”

  She snorted. “I was talking to his mom, Ms. Strickland, and she was telling me all about how you two were love’s young dream.” She made an exaggerated kissy face. “Everyone thought you’d get married right out of high school and actually make it. She didn’t even think him getting signed to his first band would change things.”

  The happiness melted off me, disappearing like fog burned to nothing under a hot sun.

  I turned back to the supplies and mechanically removed bed pads from a box and stacked them on a wide shelf. “It was the accident that changed things.”

  The joy I’d felt just a moment ago suddenly felt wrong. It was wrong, wasn’t it, to feel so happy that I could fly when my father and brother weren’t here anymore to enjoy even the simple moments?

  “Oh, I know that, honey. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  I shook my head, trying to shake off the darkness of my thoughts. “You haven’t. It isn’t you. It’s just him being here, dragging things back up. I can’t help thinking about how things used to be.”

  I leaned on the shelf, resting my weight against it. Being with Gage was incredible, but bittersweet too.

  “Do you mind if I ask what’s happened?”

  “We’ve been out a couple of times…”

  “On dates?” Millie’s voice was soothing, not at all like the way most people would react to the news of a date with Gage Strickland. And I knew I could trust her to keep whatever I confided in her to herself.

  “No dates exactly. Well, the second time was more like a date. Yes, a date.” I knew my face was heating up again and Millie had sharp eyes.

  “Oh, my goodness. You’ve kissed…and more.”

  I nodded, unable to keep the goofy smile off my face. “Yes, after we went to Independence Pub for a few drinks.”

  “And that’s all?”

  The urge to spill, to share my first time experience with someone after having waited so long had me clamping my lips shut. I couldn’t do that to Gage.

  Millie saw it written on my face anyway. “Oh my god, how was it?”

  I released a breath that felt like I’d been holding for years. “He’s so different than I remember him. Good different. But also the same. It was…really amazing.”

  “You’ve got stars in your eyes, girlfriend. I’ve never seen you this way.”

  “If I’m honest, I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Before and now. There’s always been something different about Gage. I think that’s why no one else has gotten close.”

  “Hmm.” Millie’s mouth turned down into an unexpected frown. “I see.”

  “I thought you’d be happy for me.” I nudged her playfully with a bedpan. “You’re the one who’s always telling me to find someone, so I don’t end up left on the shelf.” I gestured to the shelf as I stacked bedpans. “Like these poor lonely piss pots, as my mom always called them.”

  She wrinkled her nose, but a smile played on her lips. “I am happy for you. And you’re not a bedpan. You’re a beautiful, smart, independent woman.” I waited for the rest of what she had to say. “I’m more concerned about you getting hurt. You two obviously can’t be more because of his career. Your life is here, and he travels all around the world. Would you move to New York for him? Give up your job and go on tour with him?”

  I tried to laugh off her comments. “Millie, we slept together once.” I sighed. Millie had a way of getting me to spill my soul without asking a direct question. “It isn’t like I’m planning to uproot my life to be with him.”