I followed her in, barely having time to flick my eyes over the décor before I was straddling about fifty pounds of pure energy. When the novelty of me finally wore off, and the prince trotted off to gulp down a gallon of water, I noticed the furnishings looked nothing like I would expect of the girl I left behind.

  That girl had been expressive, dotting her room with posters and even graffiti of her favorite bands and actors and fashions. This place was all wrong, with neutral furniture and minimalistic tables. There were a few photographs. Some recent ones of her with her mom, older ones of her father and brother, none of anyone outside her family. That made me question who she spent time with now. All my friends had skipped town as soon as they could, and I wondered if the same went for her.

  Was she lonely?

  “You can help yourself to a drink or something. I won’t be very long.”

  I nodded but didn’t go into the kitchen. Instead, I found myself drawn to the bookcase where one thick spine caught my eye. Her high school yearbook. I dragged it from the shelf, sure I wasn’t wading through her privacy since this was a time we’d shared.

  I peeled the pages open, my nerves spiking, and delved into memories I hadn’t thought of in a very long time.

  The faces looking back at me were so vivid in my memory that it was almost like I was back there again. Lee Flood, a hopeless nerd who was smarter than anyone in the school but who only wanted to be a jock. Shadow, whose real name was Adrian Myers, earned his name on the football field. “What a legend.”

  I fell backward in time, remembering names and faces I hadn’t given a second thought since heading to New York. Turning the page, Kelly’s familiar face, the slightly more youthful version of her, smiled back at me and my heart broke open wide. I’d never truly let her go, that was more apparent now than ever before. Kelly Cavendish still got under my skin, and I itched all over for her.

  Mom’s words echoed in my head. You could take her with you, get her out of this town.

  What if she didn’t feel the same? What if she still didn’t want to go? What if I ended up playing that damn song at the start of every concert for the rest of my life and never found out? I couldn’t seem to shut down the “what ifs.”

  “Dammit.” I raked a hand through my hair.

  Whatever “if” I’d gotten rolling with my offer of dinner, it was already licking with flames.

  10

  Kelly

  Candlelight flickered on the table between us, making the exquisite green of Gage’s eyes shine entrancingly. I found it hard not to get lost in them, could barely remember what it felt like not to have them on me all the time.

  By the time I’d changed into the only other dress in my closet, a cliché little black dress, and jazzed it up with some artsy jewelry, Gage had been busy on the phone making amazing last-minute plans.

  He’d flown us by private jet—which was where we sipped the champagne he’d mentioned—to New York. Where a long black limo had been waiting to take us to Zen, an upscale Japanese restaurant. There, we were greeted by a bowing Japanese man, who escorted us to a private dining room with an open balcony garden. In the background, traditional Japanese music played, the trill of a flute and thump of the drum setting the mood.

  “It’s so…”

  “Romantic, Kelly?” His gaze fell on the wide chaise that awaited stuffed diners. I could imagine them rolling themselves to its cushioned softness while digesting the night’s fare—or doing other things.

  Oh god, the way my name rolled off Gage’s tongue preceded by the word “romantic” was pure seduction. I felt it everywhere, particularly between my thighs, in my breasts, which now felt swollen. Even with him sitting across from me, just out of reach, I couldn’t stop imagining him kissing me again, touching me everywhere. The way his gaze caught me up, the chaise practically reflecting in his eyes. I could picture us on it, our arms around each other, his mouth on me.

  Was this what I wanted?

  Finish what you started.

  Maybe if we finished what we’d started, got it out of our systems…

  Maybe if I had a real memory to look back on instead of silly fantasies of us tumbling into bed together. Maybe it would be awkward and horrible, and I could laugh and forget him forever.

  Yes.

  Yes, I would finish what I’d started with this man. And then I’d be able to finally let him go. But first, there was dinner to get through.

  “Well, this is a bit different from the dates we had as kids, isn’t it?” he asked as he took a drink of the champagne that was rapidly going to my head and making me giddy.

  I wanted him to stop talking, to put a hold on our food and just take me to the chaise already.

  Patience.

  I laughed. “This is a lot fancier than hanging out in the park or loitering in back of Zippy’s Gas Mart.”

  His eyes grew wide, and I knew the memories were flooding him too. Endless days after school spent hiding behind the gas station in the woods, kissing until our lips were chapped, exploring every inch of one another’s bodies without ever taking it all the way.

  I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to keep my breathing even and to stop myself from asking him to kiss down my neck like he used to do. Had it always been such a challenge to keep myself in check in Gage’s presence? I readjusted my position on the seat.

  “Yeah,” he snorted out a laugh. “It wasn’t so much about going out on actual dates then.”

  “Do you remember how you asked me out? Mr. Romantic?”

  He pointed a chopstick at me. “Hey, I was practically a kid, I didn’t understand romance at all.” He laughed. “I tried my hardest.”

  “You just said…” I lowered my voice to mimic him, “‘wanna be my girl?’”

  “I know, but I already knew you liked me because Will blurted it out at Kat’s party. So, there wasn’t much point in holding back, and it seemed like the next logical step. You said yes.”

  “Of course I did. I’d been crushing on you from afar.”

  My girlfriends had grown sick of hearing about how much I liked Gage, and they were relieved when we started dating…until they realized I’d only have more to say about him. I’d wanted to yell about our love from the highest structure in New Hope, which was probably the water tower.

  How did I let what happened come between us?

  “Well, trust me, I’m a lot smoother now.”

  The memory of that brief but incredibly intense kiss flooded me again. Not that I’d thought about much else all day long. I’d barely slept, couldn’t seem to keep my fingers from brushing against where his had been. My mouth tingled.

  “Oh, I can imagine. You always look smooth on the cover of Buzz magazine, a different woman hanging on your arm in each edition.”

  He regarded me, his face softening. “I’m not really like that, you know?”

  “Oh, I don’t mean it like that. I’m sure the media exaggerates things.” I waved it off with a hand even though I wanted to ask him to elaborate.

  “Yeah. They really do. Sometimes it’s very frustrating, especially when people act like they know me because of the things they read, but it’s part of it.”

  “I don’t know how you can live with no privacy.”

  He leaned in close, allowing his breath to tickle my cheek. “I’m having a private moment now.”

  A delicious shiver raced down my neck and continued down my spine. There was something incredibly sexual about his words.

  “Yeah.” My voice came out breathless. “That’s true.”

  “There’s plenty of privacy here. The room has a pocket door that, once closed, will signal the waiter that the room is off-limits until it’s open again.”

  The glint in his eyes wasn’t subtle, but an outright declaration. I could almost feel his hands all over me already, his mouth demanding, his fingers finding the zipper on the back of my dress.

  “That’s…” I tried to take a breath, but it wouldn’t enter my lungs, “interesting. Have you used this room before?”

  He met my eye, his face serious. “No. Never before.”

  My stomach fluttered, and it took everything inside me to not fall into his arms. “Oh.”

  “Do you want dessert?”

  My mind raced, potential answers consuming me. I could have dessert, stretch our date out longer, then have him take me home. It would be the sensible thing, to protect my heart.

  Or I could close the door on the world and give myself to him like I’d always thought I would. But did I want my first time to be in some sordid room who knew how many other couples had been together in?

  I looked at the chaise again.

  No. Not there.

  “There’s a bedroom on that jet, right?”

  Before I could even register what was happening, he was tossing hundred dollar bills down on the table, then pulling me from the room.

  I was laughing as he jerked open the door of the limo he’d hired, but the laughter stopped once we were in the yellow car and he pulled me onto his lap. His scent, spicy and hot, consumed me, fogging my brain, making it damn near impossible to think. Goose bumps raised up on my skin as desire streaked not only to my center but through each limb.

  “I’ve never needed anything this much,” he told me as we pulled up next to his plane, his bodyguard jumping out of the front to open the door.

  I felt the same.

  I wanted to be beneath him, wanted him to be my first. Caution be damned. It definitely wasn’t smart, but it promised to be fun.

  It’d been a long time since I’d had any fun.

  “Steve, wheels up ASAP,” he said to the pilot before pushing me into a seat, locking the belt around my waist.

  It took forever, it seemed, to get into the air, but soon enough, the seatbelts lights dinged off, and Gage was hauling me to my feet.

  I cocked an eyebrow at him, smirking playfully, ignoring the nerves that were making me feel lightheaded. Bubbles of yearning exploded through me while I waited as his green eyes took their sweet-ass time to assess me. I could already tell he wanted me, it was written all over his face.

  “Are you sure?” I wasn’t certain, but as he closed the surprisingly spacious bedroom door, I thought his hands were shaking.

  I was shaking myself, from somewhere deep inside. Before, I’d thought we were forever, and I’d been so certain that it would be him the first time. I guessed that could be the reason I’d never taken that step. But now I wanted to. I knew he’d be leaving me behind again, but when he did, I wanted to have this night.

  My breathing grew faster as he crossed the room back to me, my lungs feeling raw. My breasts ached for his touch, and the throbbing between my legs was quickly becoming almost too much to bear.

  Gage whispered my name, then I was in his embrace, pressed against his hard chest. His mouth came down on mine, and seven years of yearning burst over us. I grabbed at his shirt, unbuttoning it as fast as I could as he kissed me with all the passion I’d built up in my dreams for so long, until it was swirling through me in colors that made a rainbow pale in comparison.

  This wasn’t sweet and tender, like yesterday. It was hard, fast, and incredibly needy. I knotted my fingers in his hair as I parted my lips, and his tongue brushed against mine. In that moment, I was lost.

  Gage growled and picked me up, scraping the hypersensitive skin of my thighs with his nails as my dress hitched up around my waist.

  My heart bounced off my sternum as he laid me on the bed, and his lips moved from mine, over my cheeks, down the exposed skin of my throat the way I’d longed for, not stopping until they pressed against my collarbone. My leg curled up, and my foot pressed into the mattress, my legs parting to invite him inside.

  “You’re too much, Kelly Cavendish. Too beautiful. Too enticing,” Gage said as he pressed his bulge against my core and groaned.

  I couldn’t answer, the breath was stripped from my body as he dipped down between my legs, hooked one finger inside my panties and pulled them down until they hit the floor. Fire ignited in my abdomen. He blew a long, cool breath over my sensitive skin, and I clutched at the covers, my hips rising, wanting more of whatever he was willing to give.

  He traced a little pattern at the top of my leg with his nose, edging ever closer to where my body screamed out for him. It could’ve been letters, he might have been writing me words, but I didn’t stand a chance of understanding.

  He inhaled sharply and shook his head. “I’ve never been able to stop thinking about this.” His head dipped lower, and he took one long lick, all the way up my center. “Thinking about how I wanted this to be mine.”

  I could only let out the breath that my body had been holding on to, but before I could take in another, he circled his tongue around my clit, flicking it after each round, making my hips jump.

  He clamped his hands over my hips, holding me down as his tongue danced over my center, and sinful sounds escaped my mouth. Something was building, something that overwhelmed me so that my head tossed side to side.

  I rolled my hips, which brushed his fingers against my labia. The sensation was enough to make me groan. He’d always been good with his fingers. I could easily recall the magical pleasure we used to share, and I was greedy to find it again.

  When his finger entered me, the world went black, and a pulse of electricity raced through me, tossing me upward until I floated like a leaf in the wind. One stroke, two…three. He curled his fingers within me, then twisted them, his knuckles scraping over the sensitive walls.

  “Damn…so tight. So sweet.”

  And just like that, I flew, a keening moan escaping me.

  Even as my body shook through the power of the release, he slid up my body, his lips trailing from one erogenous zone to another. The steely hardness inside his pants pressed against me, bringing me back down to the bed, and when his lips brushed against mine, I tasted myself.

  “Oh, Gage.”

  “Is it true? You haven’t been with anyone.” He stared down at me, a question in his eyes as he rocked himself over me once more, making my hips grind into his. “Why?”

  “Always…” I panted, “always for you.”

  Even though I’d told myself I didn’t date anyone seriously because of my focus on my mother and my busy life, this was the truth. This was why no one else had ever held my focus, why I never felt a spark with another man. None of them were Gage Strickland, which meant they never even stood a chance. I bucked my hips up again to punctuate my statement.

  “Oh, fuck, Kelly. You have no idea how good that feels. I don’t know if I can go slow.”

  “Gage, I need you.” My voice was raspy, full of sex. “I want to feel you.” I wanted him, needed to have him. As good as our memories were from when we were teens, I wanted him to realize that I was a woman now. I’d grown up. “I want you to fuck me.”

  Those magic words caused a guttural groan to fly from his mouth. He quickly peeled off his shirt, which had grown sticky with sweat. My fingers curled into the covers while I watched him reveal that amazing body to me.

  I moaned. I couldn’t stop myself. His abs were more defined than they’d been, his shoulders wider. I sat up, grazing my teeth over his pectorals, making him gasp. My fingers went to the front of his pants at the same time that his did, and I helped him push his pants over his wonderfully hard ass and shove them to the floor. I hooked my fingers into his boxers, tugging them down too, but was stopped as his mouth found mine again, taking it in a hot kiss.

  Sliding my fingers around to the front as he pushed my dress upward, I helped him take it off then returned my hands to their teasing, running them all over the skin that stretched tight over hard muscles. Everywhere but where he wanted them before finally circling his cock and letting him fall heavily into my hand.

  Dear lord. Had he been this big back then?

  As if he read my mind, he chuckled into my mouth. “Don’t worry. We’ll fit perfectly.” His hand reached under me and undid the clasp on my bra, ripping it away. His mouth covered one nipple, wet tongue circling, popped off and moved to the other, each time yanking on an invisible string that made the center of me yearn for him to be inside me.

  A mere second before I was about to beg, he leaned over and pulled a condom from the pocket of his pants. Rolling it over his thick length, he kissed me lightly on the nose. “Are you sure about this? Because we don’t have to…”

  I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him closer. “Please.” I couldn’t wait for even a second longer.

  My back arched as he settled between my legs, gliding slowly over my entrance, taking himself back and forth like that until I whimpered.

  “Gage.”

  His gaze was locked with mine, his scent, his breath all around me as he pressed himself inside, the pressure building with each millimeter. My body stretched, opening for him, but there wasn’t any pain, at least not like I’d been expecting. Only pleasure as he hilted himself, his mouth covering my breast again, his tongue flicking the pebbled nipple, sucking it deep into his mouth.

  A blissful heat pooled in my stomach, though the stretching sensation was almost too much. It felt so good and the hint of pain only seemed to increase the pleasure. I closed my eyes, unable to stop my body from tensing away from what I wanted so badly.

  “Give it, Kelly.” My eyes shot to his above me, dark and needy, greener even in his need. “Give me what’s mine.”

  “Yes, it’s yours,” I cried as he reared back and plunged into me, filling me to my very soul. Once he’d seated himself fully, he held himself deathly still, his breath coming in pants above me.

  His lips found my neck and kissed up to my ear, my temple, before taking my mouth in a soft, sweet kiss that brought tears to my eyes.

  I couldn’t stop saying his name as desire built again, somehow pushing any bit of pain to the background.

  His hips began to move slowly, and I could tell by the way his muscles bunched that his body yearned for a much needed release. I wanted to give him that release, make him forget that anything existed but the two of us.