As police officers in the mid-eighties to nineties, we had our own ways of dealing with the relentless discomfort, stress and pressure. Often it involved late nights after work with plenty of alcohol. That was one way we’d all decompress together after a tough shift. And as a young detective, I certainly wouldn’t have displayed or voiced signs of not coping.

  It wasn’t until I started spending more time in Nepal that I began to understand the value of becoming comfortable with discomfort. Over there, discomfort usually showed up in the form of a failed expedition, or one of a hundred things not going to plan. Sometimes it was being stuck in a storm for days on end, facing nothing but boredom and cabin fever. Other times it was clinging to the side of a mountain, fully exposed in brutally cold conditions. And on occasion, it was much worse.

  The thing is, the more discomfort I encountered, the better I became at coping with it—even thriving in it. I began to reframe failure as something worthwhile: a learning opportunity. Someone once told me that success is a lousy teacher, and they were right. When we get the result we want, how much do we actually learn? But when we get knocked about, especially in the mountains, we learn plenty. Being open and receptive to that learning is advice I wish I’d received when I was much younger.

  When I think back to those uncomfortable moments during my policing career, not once do I remember being encouraged to reflect on them. Even a simple ‘What did you do well?’ or ‘What would you do differently next time?’ would have been a helpful starting point. These days, there’s no way I’d consider delivering a death message without first visualising myself doing so with compassion and empathy. And I certainly wouldn’t be trying to handball it to my colleagues on the next shift.

  Here’s my takeaway: relish discomfort in all its forms. Lean into it. Embrace it, because it’s a gift. It offers profound opportunities for growth. Better yet, go out of your way to seek it. Allow yourself to be challenged. It won’t take long before you’re glad you did. The thing is, those uncomfortable moments, the ones where you feel like everything’s turned to shit, are where the real learning happens. When things don’t go to plan, when you get it wrong, when you’re forced to sit in the turmoil of it all, that’s when you find the gold. You don’t get that kind of learning when everything’s smooth sailing. You get it when you’ve been smacked around and you’re still standing, trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

  It’s important to start seeing failure differently. It’s not a dead end—it’s feedback. It’s part of the process. And if you can shift your mindset just a little, enough to get curious about why something didn’t work instead of beating yourself up over it, you’ll start to get better. You’ll become more resilient, sharper, more grounded. And, over time, those hard lessons will become a kind of quiet strength you carry with you—not because you’ve always got it right, but because you’ve faced moments in which you didn’t, and learned from them.

  So, when discomfort shows up, don’t run from it. Don’t push it aside or pretend it’s not there. Welcome it. Let it stretch you. Because chances are, it’s trying to teach you something that success never will.

  How Uncertainty Fuels Psychological Recovery

  Resilience doesn’t develop in the absence of struggle; it’s crafted through our responses to it. For any activity to foster resilience meaningfully, uncertainty must be present. A simple litmus test is to ask yourself: ‘Is the outcome of this experience already determined?’ If the answer is yes, the activity might still be challenging but it is unlikely to contribute significantly to your personal resilience.

  Uncertainty is not just a hurdle to be overcome; it is the very environment in which resilience is born. Psychological recovery thrives in this space, because facing the unknown forces us to adapt, reflect and grow. It challenges us to find stability within ourselves, even when the world around us feels unpredictable.

  Instead of viewing discomfort and uncertainty as obstacles, what if we reframed them as necessary steps on the path to resilience? After all, it is not the absence of struggle that defines us, it is how we rise in response to it.

  The good news is that dealing with uncertainty is a skill you can train for. Just as the Sherpa people adapt instinctively to the ever-changing conditions of the Himalayas, we can develop strategies to manage life’s unknowns. Techniques such as mindfulness, controlled breathing, positive self-talk and visualisation are not just buzzwords. They are practical tools for staying grounded when the ground feels shaky. By embracing uncertainty, we don’t just survive life’s challenges, we learn to thrive in the midst of them.

  A STORY OF UNCERTAINTY, VULNERABILITY AND EMPOWERMENT

  DAVID

  On one of our resilience programs, we had a group of parents and their teenage children heading out on the Everest Base Camp journey. It was an ambitious program, aiming to push participants’ physical and mental limits while creating space for profound connections.

  The day before we were set to reach Everest Base Camp, we decided to take on the challenge of summiting Kala Patthar. This landmark rises above the settlement of Gorakshep, standing at an incredible 5644.5 metres—higher than Base Camp itself. It is not a stroll in the park for anyone, let alone anyone doing it after days of trekking through demanding terrain.

  The weather began on a promising note, pleasant but still biting cold, with temperatures well below zero. The group pushed hard, and together we managed to reach the summit. But as we stood there, soaking up the staggering views, the weather began to shift. Snow started falling and an icy wind cut through the air.

  Exhaustion was written on everyone’s faces. After ten tough days of trekking, and with the effects of reduced oxygen at altitude, people were visibly fatigued. Despite this, there was an undeniable sense of unity among us. A father and daughter huddled together for warmth against the freezing wind, their embrace speaking volumes.

  And then something remarkable happened. The daughter, overwhelmed, began to cry while holding her dad. Her tears triggered an emotional response in him, and soon both were openly sharing their vulnerability. This raw, unfiltered emotion then rippled through the group, as those watching were moved to tears themselves.

  In that moment, amid the snow and silence, something powerful unfolded. Fatigue, achievement and the awe of being part of something extraordinary all came together. Vulnerability, which is often seen as a weakness, was suddenly a source of strength. People allowed themselves to feel connected and to express emotions they might otherwise have hidden.

  When we reflected on that day, it struck us how moments of risk and uncertainty can strip us down to our essence. When faced with the unknown we feel vulnerable, but that is part of being human. It’s in those moments when we allow ourselves to show our fragility to the people we trust that true connection is forged. It’s how resilience grows within us.

  This experience highlighted a fundamental principle of psychological recovery: vulnerability and connection aid in healing and resilience-building. Research in positive psychology and mental health shows that sharing our emotions in safe, trusted spaces helps us reduce stress and strengthens our social bonds. Dr Brené Brown has shown that vulnerability fosters deeper connections, builds trust and promotes emotional recovery.

  In moments of psychological stress or recovery, whether triggered by fatigue, adversity or uncertainty, connection plays a critical role. Sharing vulnerability helps release suppressed emotions, reduces feelings of isolation and facilitates a sense of belonging. This aligns with the theory of emotional processing, which suggests that confronting and expressing emotions in supportive environments can reduce long-term distress.

  Experiences of emotional connection like the one on Kala Patthar can broaden an individual’s capacity to build resources, whether social, psychological or emotional. These instances help buffer us against future stressors, creating a foundation for sustainable resilience.

  That day on Kala Patthar was not just about summiting a peak. It was about shared vulnerability, mutual support and the power of human connection in a challenging environment. This translates into everyday life. Whether in recovery from psychological adversity or in leadership and personal growth, embracing uncertainty and connecting with others helps us rebuild and emerge stronger. Vulnerability is not weakness, it is the foundation of resilience.

  Step 3: Take Risks

  Risk comes in many forms, and throughout life there will be countless moments that require us to manage some degree of it. Physical risk, emotional risk, reputational risk, financial risk, career risk, creative risk and social risk are just a few examples. In most cases, putting yourself in a position of uncertainty and challenge involves risk, and it almost always means you are personally invested in the situation. For some, risk feels thrilling. For others, it is terrifying. But here’s the truth: risk is a part of life. It’s not about avoiding it; it’s about managing it wisely.

  Sherpa mountaineers face physical risk daily. Their ability to assess, adapt and act in high-stakes environments is not a superpower; it’s a skill honed through experience. The same applies to you. Whether you are speaking in public, starting a new job or navigating a tough conversation, embracing risk helps you grow. Every time you step outside of your comfort zone, you are building resilience.

  The Role of Risk in Growth

  In many cases, it is the presence of risk that makes an activity meaningful, rewarding and fulfilling. Risk is often what keeps people engaged, forces them to focus and encourages them to push their limits.

  Consider skiing: when you’re first learning, the experience can be intimidating. There is the likelihood of falling, the discomfort of cold weather and the frustration of repeated mistakes. But over time, with persistence and practice, your skills improve. The better you become, the less you fall, and the more enjoyable the experience is. The same is true for many activities. Initially, the risk feels overwhelming, but as our skills develop, our focus shifts from the fear of failure to the satisfaction of progress.

  A well-managed dose of risk, or even the perception of risk, is a crucial ingredient in developing resilience. It forces focus, demands effort and creates a sense of achievement when faced and overcome. Risk does not guarantee success, but it almost certainly guarantees full engagement with the challenge at hand. And when effort leads to success, particularly in the face of difficulty, the sense of accomplishment is unmatched.

  Embracing Risk for Resilience

  Developing a willingness to take on risk, whether physical, emotional or social, is a vital part of building resilience. There will be moments of failure, and setbacks will occur. But every challenge presents a learning opportunity. As the saying goes, ‘We never fail; we only learn.’

  Stepping outside your comfort zone, taking on new challenges and embracing the reality of risk is essential to developing extraordinary resilience and psychological recovery skills. Without risk, our resilience has less to push against, and our capacity remains unchanged.

  Step 4: Exposure to new environments and experiences

  Growth does not happen in your comfort zone. The Sherpas thrive because they are constantly adapting to new challenges, whether it is unstable terrain, unpredictable weather or even diverse cultures. This exposure is not just part of their job; it’s a resilience training ground.

  For us, new environments don’t have to be extreme; the benefits of stepping into unfamiliar surroundings extend far beyond the mountains. Exposure to new experiences, whether in the form of travel, learning a new skill or simply trying something different, has a profound impact on our resilience and personal growth.

  Stepping out of your comfort zone fosters adaptability, strengthens problem-solving and enhances confidence. The more often we face unfamiliar situations, the more comfortable they become and the easier it gets to handle unexpected challenges. Put simply, the more you stretch yourself, the more resilient you become.

  Step 5: Focus

  Focus is not just about concentration. It’s about being present in high-stakes situations, like Sherpas guiding climbers through dangerous mountain passes or high-level athletes performing under pressure. The ability to stay present is what keeps them executing their craft at the highest level.

  In our everyday lives, focus is just as critical. Whether we are navigating a tough project, dealing with personal challenges or simply trying to be more mindful, the ability to stay engaged makes all the difference. Focus helps us manage stress, make better decisions and recover faster from setbacks.

  Staying Focused Under Pressure

  Have you ever had to deliver an important presentation? Nervousness, self-doubt, unexpected interruptions, audience reactions and the challenge of communicating complex information are the usual suspects that test our focus during high-stakes situations in front of an audience. Losing focus at a critical moment, whether through distraction, nerves or an unforeseen interruption, can have real consequences. But here’s the flip side: the ability to stay engaged, block out distractions and deliver confidently under pressure is not just about performing well; it’s resilience in action.

  Every presentation, no matter how daunting, is an opportunity to train your mind to stay calm, focused and adaptable in the face of stress. The more you practise this the better you will get at managing high-pressure situations, not just professionally but in every part of life.

  Resilience is not a fixed trait; it’s a skill you build through investment, embracing uncertainty, managing risk, seeking new experiences and honing your focus. Whether you are climbing a literal mountain or facing life’s metaphorical peaks and troughs, these five steps offer a roadmap to not just survive but to thrive. Psychological recovery does not just apply to extreme environments like the Himalayas; it plays a crucial role in high-performance settings, such as elite sport.

  THE DRAWN 2O1O AFL GRAND FINAL: A TESTAMENT TO RESILIENCE

  DAVID

  The stage was set for one of the most anticipated grand finals in AFL history. More than 100,000 fans packed into the Melbourne Cricket Ground (MCG), having ridden the emotional highs and lows of the season that had led to this very moment. Two of Melbourne’s most historic and passionate clubs, Collingwood and St Kilda, were about to clash, both teams determined to end decades of heartache and claim the ultimate prize.

  For Collingwood, a powerhouse of the competition, the 1990 premiership was a distant memory. The club’s proud history demanded more success than they’d been having. For St Kilda, the weight of history was even heavier: 1966 had been their only taste of glory. Generations of fans had endured the pain, clinging to hope that this would be the year their suffering ended. This wasn’t just about winning a flag; it was about writing history.

  The build-up had been massive. The entire city had buzzed for weeks with anticipation. The rivalry opened old wounds and fresh hope. The weight of expectation sat heavily on both teams. The players knew that, for many of them, this was the game that would define their careers.

  And then, the unthinkable happened. The final siren sounded, and scores were level. Neither side had won.

  Players dropped to the ground, physically spent, emotionally shattered. Usually, a grand final ends in elation or heartbreak, but this was something else: stunned silence. A numbness spread through the MCG, disbelief etched on every face. There was no closure, no resolution. The 2010 AFL Grand Final wasn’t just a contest of skill and strategy anymore; it had become the ultimate test of resilience.

  Within seconds, I was on the ground, weaving through the chaos, trying to reach the players. The shock of the draw hung thick in the air and, for a brief moment, I felt it too. What now? How do you prepare for something no one saw coming?

  The enormity of the situation hit me but there was no time to dwell. I had to re-focus.

  Mick Malthouse, Collingwood’s senior coach, locked eyes with me. His face was pure focus: no hesitation, no confusion. Straight away, he brought our attention to what mattered most: the plan for the replay. Eddie McGuire, the President of the Collingwood Football Club, never one to stand still, joined us, talking about the after-match function and other details. But Mick wasn’t having it. He cut him off. ‘Hang on, Ed,’ he said, before turning to me. ‘Butters, what do we do now to get our boys ready for next week?’

  That was the moment it all became clear: the focus had to shift immediately, and recovery was everything. Get it wrong, and we would be handing St Kilda the edge. Get it right, and we would set ourselves up to win the premiership. I outlined the key interventions needed, physically, mentally and emotionally. Every detail mattered. Every decision counted.

  Despite the madness, a strange sense of clarity took hold. We had seven days to get this right. Seven days to turn devastation into opportunity. The premiership was still there, but only if we nailed every aspect of the following week, down to the finest detail.

  Mick made a pivotal decision that night. Instead of retreating into analysis and leaving the players to their own devices, he instructed them to reconnect with their families and attend the post-game dinner. This was not just about tradition, it was a deliberate investment in emotional recovery, unity and mental wellbeing. The players shared the unique experience of facing the unknown together, laying the foundation for what was to come.

  Both Mick and Ed spoke at the dinner with conviction, not just about what had happened but about the opportunity ahead. Their words carried hope, clarity and an unshakable belief in what was possible. It was exactly what the group needed. It galvanised the team, sharpened their focus and set a clear direction for what lay ahead.