Rocks rose up out of the water straight ahead. She grabbed the rails of her board and turned. Unfortunately she was a fraction of a second too late. The nose of her board dipped and her feet flew up in the air as she plunged into the water.

  The ocean slapped her flat on the chest. She tried to relax, rolling with the wave instead of worrying about breathing as her board leash tugged at her ankle. Fighting the water never helped. All she could do was make a silent prayer that she’d dropped in further from the rocks than she thought.

  After a long moment, the rolling stopped. She surfaced and sucked in a deep breath. The wave had gone. She’d been coughed up and spit out, and now the endless stretch of blue stared back at her as smooth as a lake. Between sets anyone could be fooled.

  She looked back at the shore and a flash of panic coursed through her. The rocks she’d tried to avoid poked their heads above the water only feet away. If she stayed long enough to catch her breath, the next wave would crash her right onto them. It’d be some irony if she ended up back in the hospital after all. As a patient. Skull fracture, multiple contusions…she could almost see the report. With a few hard strokes, she caught up to her board, scanned for any dents, and then scrambled on.

  * * *

  “What can I get you?”

  “Slice of pepperoni.”

  “You got it.” The kid turned to pull a crispy pie out of the brick oven behind the counter and started slicing.

  Sam had exchanged her wetsuit for a dry T-shirt and shorts and her board waited for her outside, balanced against a wall with a handful of others. After a few too many rolls in the waves, she’d given up and decided lunch was in order.

  “Sam!” Danielle pushed past a couple waiting for their order and gave Sam a crushing hug, promptly followed by a kiss on the cheek. “I thought I saw you out there on the water, but I wasn’t sure. Then I saw your board outside and knew! Can’t miss those tiger stripes.”

  Sam grinned. “It’s good to see you.” Really good, in fact. She hadn’t want to admit how much she needed a friend, but the way her body melted into the hug confirmed she couldn’t stay a hermit for much longer.

  “How long you in town?”

  “Maybe forever. Were you surfing this morning? I didn’t see you.”

  “Forever?” Danielle gave a “Woot!” loud enough to get the kid behind the counter’s attention. He smiled as he slid Sam’s pepperoni slice onto a paper plate.

  “But what about the residency? I thought you signed up for three years of torture.”

  “I did. And it’s a long story that I totally don’t want to talk about. My goal is to surf enough that I’m too exhausted to think.”

  Danielle laughed. “How’s that working out so far?”

  “I think I got the exhausted part down.” Unfortunately, her brain wouldn’t turn off no matter how hard she tried.

  “Well, I’m happy to have you back in town.” Danielle gave Sam another squeeze. “I gotta run, but come see me later. You’re gonna need free coffee if you don’t plan on working.”

  Danielle stuck out her tongue when Sam rolled her eyes. They’d practically grown up together, spending every summer on the beach, and Sam’s heart swelled knowing she still had a friend in town. A good friend.

  Danielle headed for the door, waving and hollering, “Welcome home, Sam.”

  Home. Santa Cruz had always felt like home. And now she’d finally said out loud that she might never leave. But the realization of what that meant was bittersweet.

  For the first few days back, she’d only surfed and slept, eating canned soup and anything else she could rummage from the nearly empty pantry. Then she’d decided to go to the grocery store and restock. Strangely that step had cemented in her mind that she could in fact stay in the cottage.

  She hadn’t told her parents. Aside from Weiss, she’d only contacted her roommates back in the Sacramento apartment, promising to clear out her things and pay her part of the rent until they found someone to take her place. If she didn’t come back. If.

  Megan had texted a handful of times, but Sam had evaded all her questions. Terri hadn’t called or texted even once. Clearly she was leaving her alone to figure things out. Sam was mostly glad for that. She didn’t want to talk things out with anyone. But she missed Terri and wondered if she knew that she’d become part of the decision. Giving up forty-one million dollars that had never felt like her money in the first place was one thing, but the thought of not seeing Terri again?

  “Here’s your pizza. And welcome home.”

  “Thanks.” Sam slid her money across the counter and took the paper plate. The kid had given her an extra large slice and a third of it hung over the edge of the plate.

  She ate the first few bites on the street corner where she could keep an eye on her board, but once the hunger subsided, she tossed the plate and folded the pizza in half to eat as she walked home.

  The cottage wasn’t far, but Sam didn’t rush the walk. As soon as she spotted the bright blue panels with white trim she smiled. Perched on a cliff above the ocean, the land itself was worth way more than the little house, but she loved it still. Memories of carefree summers spent there were part of that. The whole thing sorely needed a remodel, and it wasn’t much to look at inside. Just two small bedrooms upstairs along with a tiny bathroom, a kitchen so outdated it could be called retro, a powder room off the hallway, and a living room with a sagging brown couch and one equally sad love seat. But the view couldn’t be beat. At night, with the windows open, the sound of the waves lulled her to sleep and every morning she woke to the salty smell of the ocean.

  Since she’d left Sacramento, the insomnia she’d fought for the past several years had vanished. Seals would jostle her from a dream sometimes, but she could drift off again even with their barking, and the cry of the gulls made a perfect alarm clock.

  Sam gave her board and wetsuit a quick rinse in the outdoor shower and then stripped down to shower salt and sand out of her hair. The neighbors could see her if they looked over the fence, but no one did. After toweling off, she tugged the same T-shirt and shorts back on before she got numb. Even in late summer, Santa Cruz was never truly hot and the temperature had dropped when the fog rolled in.

  Out of habit, she checked her phone when she came into the kitchen. She’d had few texts and fewer calls since leaving Sacramento, and this time she had only one missed call. Doug. She’d talked to him the day before about possibly coming back to work with him and he’d been happy to hear the news. His message detailed an upcoming wedding he needed help with and then a family photo shoot he could pass on to her if she wanted it.

  Saying yes to the photo shoot would make it official. Forty-one million dollars gone. But she couldn’t keep pushing off the decision with an empty bank account. Before long, she’d need cash in her pocket.

  She started to call Doug and then felt a wave of nausea. Without stopping to process her thoughts, she pulled up Terri’s number and quickly pressed the call button. She waited as the line rang, her heart thumping fast in her chest. The voice mail picked up and she debated what to say. On a Friday afternoon, Terri was probably too swamped with patients to take a call.

  “Hey. It’s me…Sam. But you already know that ’cause you have my number.” She took a deep breath and started over. “I need to talk to you. I know you’re probably busy, but can you call me?”

  She paced between the couch and the love seat. “I thought it’d be easier to make this decision. It’s not easy at all.” Nor was leaving all of her thoughts on a voice mail. “Anyway. Can you give me a call back? I’d really appreciate it.”

  She stopped pacing and tossed the phone on the coffee table. Terri might not call her back for hours. And after they talked, what then? What did she even have with Terri? Crazy distracting chemistry. And yet she knew there could be more.

  She stared out at the ocean. The water was gray now with the fog hovering close and the waves were cresting higher than when she’d been out earlier, but she didn’t want to get her board again. She was spent. Her morning workout didn’t hold a candle to all the handwringing over the decision, the emails back and forth to Weiss, the anticipation of telling Terri, and then the realization of what her choice meant. She sank down on the couch wishing she had something that had to be done, something she was needed for to distract her thoughts.

  Aside from surfing and sleeping, the only other accomplishments she’d managed that week had been to finish sorting through the boxes of her grandmother’s things. She’d gotten the guest room and the closet entirely cleaned and then bought a new mattress and bedroom furniture. The other bedroom—her grandmother’s—still had too many boxes and paintings to think about so she kept the door closed.

  Her grandfather never liked the cottage. He said it was too small for his taste, and he didn’t like the beach anyway. But Sam knew the real reason he had never spent time there. The cottage belonged solely to her grandmother and she claimed the space as her own, with unfinished artwork and knick-knacks cluttering every corner.

  Despite being married for nearly fifty years, she’d kept the cottage as her own world. She’d come to paint, to hide away from the world, and to have a space where she could be truly herself. After she’d passed, a lawyer had given Sam the deed to the cottage and the keys. He’d explained how she’d be responsible for the taxes and the insurance. Everything inside the cottage belonged to her—the artwork, the knick-knacks, and the meticulously maintained Aston Martin that had been strictly used for driving on Highway One. All of it. Her grandmother had been very clear in her will that her grandfather was to have no say in any of this. Everything belonged to Sam.

  At the time, Sam had been living in San Jose with her then girlfriend. Despite the fact that they were nearby, her grandfather had refused to speak to her because of the relationship and because he thought she was being ridiculous trying to make it as a photographer. But her grandmother had been proud of her for chasing a dream. Sam had held on to that.

  Then a year later her grandfather had died. When she heard how much money she could inherit, as long as she followed his stipulations, she’d given up everything. All of her camera equipment went into storage and she’d gone back to school. The girlfriend moved on to women who had more time on their hands, which was probably for the best. Sam had no time for her, let alone anyone new. Then came the residency in Sacramento and what little life she’d thought she’d had was gone completely. All of those steps, all of those sacrifices, all for forty-one million dollars.

  But now what she stood to lose was even more complicated. She eyed her phone, willing it to ring. When it didn’t, she leaned her head back on the couch and closed her eyes.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Can you talk?” Terri hadn’t wanted to bother Reed, but she needed someone to reason with her. Someone who wouldn’t judge.

  “Sure, what’s up?”

  “No…I mean, in person. Can you meet me somewhere?” Terri paced the landing of the stairwell. She’d made it back to the third floor, managed to see a few patients and even round with her residents, but then she’d gotten Sam’s message.

  “Tell me when and where.”

  Thank God for Reed. “My office in twenty minutes?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  Terri let out the breath she’d been holding. “Thanks.”

  Reed hadn’t asked why Terri wanted the sudden meeting, but twenty minutes later, the question was clearly on her mind. “How worried about you should I be?”

  Terri unlocked her office door and held it open. “I don’t know. Probably a lot. I swear to God, I promised myself I wouldn’t fall for a resident ever again.”

  “Well, that was a dumb promise. You can’t stop yourself from feeling things.”

  “I need you to be the voice of reason here.” Terri crossed her arms. “Sam’s probably quitting the residency.”

  “Seriously?”

  Terri nodded. “And I don’t want her to. Obviously. But I can’t decide if that’s because I really think she should be a doctor or if it’s because I really want to sleep with her.”

  “I can’t believe she’s quitting. Why?” Reed scratched her head. “You said she needed some time off to deal with some family things.”

  “Yeah, well, I may have covered for her. It’s a long story. I’m the one who suggested she ask for time off. She told me she was quitting and I convinced her to take some time to think it over. Anyway, Weiss just told me. He asked me to talk to her, but I don’t see the point of trying again.”

  Reed sank down in the chair by the desk. “You don’t see the point because you don’t think she’d listen to you? Or because if you take the chance and she still says no, then she’s turning you down too?”

  “You’re supposed to be the voice of reason—not my subconscious.”

  Reed gave her a look bordering on pity. “I’m sorry. Look, I get that you don’t want her to quit but…What do you want out of this?”

  “What do you mean?”

  Reed sighed. “I know you’re upset. But is it only because you think she should finish the residency? Or because if she leaves then you miss out on what you could have had together?”

  “Yeah, still not helping.”

  “Okay. I’ll make it simple. What do you want to do right now?”

  “I want to see her,” Terri said immediately. “But I can’t decide if I want to talk to her, or strangle her, or kiss her. Or all three.”

  Reed smiled. “You’ve got it bad.”

  “I’m not joking.”

  “I know you aren’t. That’s why it’s funny.” Reed leaned back in the chair, clearly thinking. “So you picked me to be the voice of reason ’cause you thought I wouldn’t tell you to sleep with her?”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to sleep with her. I said I couldn’t decide if I wanted to kiss her.”

  “Well, we both know where that would lead. Terri, I’m the one who introduced you two. If you’re expecting me to tell you to forget about her, I’m not going to. I still think you’d be perfect for each other.”

  “I don’t want her to quit. That has nothing to do with whether or not I kiss her.”

  Reed cocked her head. “Are you sure?”

  “No.” Terri cussed. “I can’t understand how she could walk away from this. From being a doctor. She’s gone through all the steps. And now she decides to quit?”

  “You can’t understand it because you would never quit.” Reed paused. “She probably didn’t have a single mom like you did who sacrificed to make sure she got to college. And scrimped when she could to send a care package when she was in med school. She probably doesn’t have anyone asking her to send money when times get hard like your sisters do. And how many times have you paid your mom’s rent? Having people need you changes things. You can’t tell me there aren’t days where you consider walking away from it all.”

  “Of course there are days.”

  “But you stay because when it comes down to it, you want to be a doctor. We both know it’s not for everyone.”

  Terri pressed her hand to her forehead. “Tell me what you’d do.”

  “I’d go find her. Talk to her. And then probably kiss her. I mean, if I were you.”

  “What if that kiss leads to more?” Terri shook her head. “Then this becomes a bigger mess.”

  “When that kiss leads to more, you’ll figure it out.”

  “What if I can’t?” Terri worried that Reed was right. She hadn’t stopped thinking of Sam. Distance hadn’t made her desires any less. But that was a problem too. What if she liked her more after a night together?

  “You need to get her out of your system. Get in your car and go find her. Spend the night. Either you’ll leave in the morning and never see her again or you’ll convince her not to quit. If that happens, then you have to deal with the question of whether or not you’re ready to be in a relationship again.”

  Terri exhaled. She didn’t see any other option. The thought of never seeing Sam again made her feel sick. But she couldn’t talk to her on the phone. She’d only yell and that wouldn’t make anything better. “What is it with me and residents?”

  “I’d say this time wasn’t entirely your fault. She has it bad for you too. But I don’t blame her. You’re pretty amazing.”

  “I tried to ignore her.”

  “Yeah, but that was dumb.” Reed snorted when Terri glared at her. “You know how you’re always doing what’s right for other people? Maybe this time you should think about what’s right for you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Sam rubbed her eyes as a ringing jostled her awake. She reached for her phone and then realized the sound wasn’t coming from that. When it occurred to her it was the doorbell, she called out, “Hold on a minute.” Not once had she heard the doorbell ring in all the summers she’d spent at the cottage. Everyone always knocked or let themselves in.

  She opened the door and stared dumbfounded for a full second at Terri. “How’d you find me?”

  “Weiss gave me the address.” Terri’s lips were a tight line. Normally she was a hard read but this… Impossible.

  Sam suddenly worried what might have happened at the hospital. “Is everything okay?”

  “I have to pee. Can I come in?”

  “Sorry. Yeah. Of course. Come in. It’s a long drive.” Sam wished she weren’t stammering. It was dark outside. How long had she slept? She opened the door wider. “The bathroom’s down the hall on the left.”

  “Thanks.”

  Terri stepped past her and a whiff of her perfume caught Sam’s attention. This was no dream. Terri was here—in a pair of dress pants and a light pink blouse. Sam had seen her in the same outfit at the hospital, which meant she’d come straight from work. And she’d driven three hours to see her instead of calling. The only thing that made sense was that Weiss had sent her here.

  The bathroom door opened and Terri came out. She looked at Sam for a moment and then, before it was clear what she was thinking, turned into the living room. She didn’t sit down but instead walked past the sofa to stare out the window. The fog hadn’t lifted and little was visible past the circles of orange-yellow under the streetlamps.