Sam caressed Terri’s cheek. Her chest ached with an unexpected rush of tenderness, and she barely had time to think as the “I love you” came to her lips. Somehow she held it in. Even thinking that sentence was pure folly. She had to remember that this—whatever it was with Terri—was only about sex. No matter how much she wanted it to be about more than that, she couldn’t think about falling for her.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Leaving the little beach house Sunday afternoon wasn’t easy, and going back to work on Monday felt like a reality slap. The days passed, and Terri couldn’t stop thinking of Sam, wondering what she was doing every minute and longing to see her again. Sam’s frequent texts were a small solace, but she thought the weekend would never come. Then finally it did.

  Sam: I can’t wait to see you tonight. What are you wearing?

  Terri: A very unsexy lab coat. I’m at work.

  Sam: I love you in that damn lab coat. You know it’s Saturday, right?

  Terri considered her response. Telling Sam that she’d been counting down the days, had thought of her every hour, and needed her touch tonight more than she’d ever needed anyone sounded obsessive. Or worse, desperate.

  Terri: Had to help McReynolds with a case.

  Sam: What color are your underwear?

  Terri couldn’t help laughing. She quickly typed: How old are you?

  Sam: Thirty-one. You?

  That wasn’t how she’d expected Sam to ask about her age, but now that it was out there, she couldn’t ignore the question. Mostly Terri had stopped thinking about the age gap, but if it was an issue for Sam, she might as well find out now. She held her breath as she typed.

  Forty.

  Sam: And the color of your underwear?

  Apparently she’d been worrying for no reason—or Sam was too horny to do the math. Shaking her head, Terri popped into the nearest bathroom and lifted her skirt. She’d been wearing more skirts as of late, giving the late hot spell as her excuse. The truth was she wore them because she wanted to hold onto the memory of Sam’s hands sliding up her legs as she’d pushed her against the Aston Martin in her garage. How many times had she revisited that scene in her mind?

  Instead of typing the reply, she angled the camera on her phone and snapped a picture. For a moment, she hesitated. She’d never sent any indecent pictures of herself to anyone.

  A moment after she’d hit the send button, Sam replied: HOT. Do you know how much I want to slide between your legs?

  Terri’s finger hovered over the keys. What was it about Sam that made her feel reckless? Made her want to abandon her comfort zone? It wasn’t that she was stodgy or had ever been a prude. But Sam took her to a whole new level.

  Sam: Are you wet? I bet you are. Check.

  Terri dropped her phone in the pocket of her lab coat and reached under her panties. She knew the answer, but she wanted to feel anyway. And now that she’d checked, she knew she’d soak her underwear. She wiped her finger off on some toilet paper and picked up her phone again, staring at the screen as she debated what to tell Sam.

  All your fault. What time can I expect you?

  Sam: It’ll be late. Probably nine.

  Sam had explained that the wedding gig was a two-day thing. She’d taken pictures at the rehearsal dinner Friday night and now was at some pre-ceremony photo shoot. The whole thing wouldn’t be over until after seven. Fortunately the wedding was at some fancy country club in the East Bay and it wouldn’t be as far of a drive up to her house. No matter how late she’d be, Terri wasn’t going to tell her they should reschedule.

  I’ll be waiting.

  Sam: In lingerie?

  Terri didn’t answer. Let Sam wonder. She stepped out of the bathroom and nearly ran into one of the nurses coming in. “Sorry.”

  “Oh, no worries, Dr. Anderson.” The nurse smiled and got out of her way.

  Probably she had no business being at work with her thoughts so distracted. She’d debated lingerie, felt ridiculous thinking of it, and then had gone to the store and bought something anyway. Now she was glad she’d gone for it.

  Her phone rang, and she instantly hoped to hear Sam’s voice. When she saw Reed’s name, she masked her disappointment. “Hey you. What’s up?”

  “Do you think weddings need a color scheme?”

  “You’re not asking me to be a tie-break between you and Julia, right?”

  The pause was long enough for Terri to guess the answer. “I’m going to give you some advice, Reed. Say yes to whatever she wants.”

  “Pink and purple. No joke. That’s what she wants.”

  “And you say: ‘I love pink and purple.’ Trust me. It’s not a fight worth having.”

  “You’re probably right. But there are so many ridiculous details. And this only adds one more.” Reed sighed. “What are you up to today?”

  “I’ll give you one guess.”

  “You work too much.”

  “Tell me about it.” For the past year she’d felt a growing distaste for coming to work on the weekends especially. And she was tired of being tired all the time. But the other reason she wanted more time to herself, not that she’d admit it, was Sam.

  “Have you heard from Sam?”

  Right on cue. Reed seemed to have a sixth sense about Sam. Terri had done her best to be evasive on the subject of what had happened in Santa Cruz. She’d only admitted to spending the night—which drew a round of applause from Reed and made her blush way too much. If Reed knew the half of it, she’d do more than clap.

  “She’s coming to Sacramento tonight.”

  “Okay, you could have led with that. That’s fantastic news! Will she be back in the hospital on Monday then?”

  “She’s only coming for the night. Weiss accepted her final resignation letter.”

  “Oh. Oh.”

  “Yeah.” Terri had made it down the hall to the elevator, and as soon as the door opened, she slipped in, hoping no one would join her. When the doors closed and she was alone, she said, “Reed, I know I shouldn’t be, but…”

  “You’re falling for her.”

  Terri let out the breath she’d been holding. “I thought I was done falling for people. Been there, done that, you know? And I’m forty. I shouldn’t be swooning when someone looks at me.”

  “I don’t think age has anything to do with swooning. Can I say ‘I told you so’ yet?”

  “No. It’s only been a week.”

  “It’s only been a week since you’ve let yourself consider a relationship. You’ve been fighting this for a lot longer.”

  Terri didn’t have an argument there. “I can’t stop thinking about her. I’m constantly checking my phone for a new message like some teenager. And what’s worse—I love texting her. Love talking to her on the phone. All of it.”

  “You who hate being tied to your phone.”

  “Exactly. I can open up to her about anything. Already I’ve told her more than I ever told Kayla. Any of my exes actually.” Terri thought of their last exchange and how simple it had been to admit her age. Everything she worried about turned out to be no big deal. “I finally told her how old I was. She didn’t care.”

  “Course she didn’t care. You’re the only one stressing about numbers.”

  “She’s basically ten years younger than me.”

  “Is that a problem for you?”

  “I feel like it should be, but it isn’t.” Terri sighed. “And I probably shouldn’t say this, but I need to tell someone—the sex is fucking amazing. I can’t wait for her to come over tonight.”

  Reed laughed. “I’m happy for you. Not surprised, really, considering how cocky she is, but happy you’re the recipient.”

  “But this is crazy. I can’t do a relationship with her. She’s three hours away, almost ten years younger than me, and she’s completely changing the direction of her life. A month from now I might not fit in her world at all. I can’t get attached.”

  “You’re overthinking this. Maybe you won’t fit in her world in a month, but you’re the one always saying you don’t want to deal with a relationship again. So who cares, right? Slow down and enjoy the ride.

  Reed continued, “And not that this should change anything, but I think you’re good for Sam. You know what you want and you won’t compromise your ideals. That can make you a huge pain in the ass, but she needs someone like that in her life. Maybe she’ll chill you out a little and you can push her to figure out her goals.”

  Even if those goals weren’t in medicine. Terri sighed. “Maybe. But—”

  “Maybe stop thinking so much. Seriously. For once in your life, do what feels easy.” Reed paused. “You sure I should say yes to the color thing?”

  Terri wished a color scheme was all she had to worry about. “Purple and pink are lovely together.”

  * * *

  It wasn’t until the doorbell rang that Terri felt her excitement turn to nervous energy. With a last cursory look at the living room, she went to open the front door. The house was sparkling, thanks to her cleaning lady, who hadn’t minded an extra paycheck for a Saturday morning visit.

  Normally, cleaning house and a quick trip to the grocery store was enough to be ready for company. This time she couldn’t completely prepare. But not knowing exactly what to expect only turned her on more.

  “Hey.”

  Sam’s smile sent a warmth through her along with a clench of undeniable longing. “Hey yourself.”

  She’d missed her way more than someone she was only supposed to want for sex. She hated the fear that came with that realization—the fear that she might be a temporary attraction for Sam, someone to be caught and then let loose again after a need had been satisfied. Sam hadn’t done or said anything to deserve that suspicion, but old baggage was hard to lose.

  Terri pushed her misgivings aside. Tonight was about sex. She’d save Sunday for telling Sam she wanted to reopen the discussion about dating. “I like the suit.”

  Sam glanced down at her outfit and then tried to smooth a wrinkle in her shirt. “It looked better ten hours ago. I’ve had a long day.”

  Terri opened the door wider. “Then you should come in and relax.”

  As Sam stepped inside, Terri had a hard time not reaching for her. She waited as Sam slipped off her black dress shoes and set them in line with Terri’s shoes. When she straightened up, she smiled again. “It’s really good to see you.”

  Terri didn’t echo the words even though she wanted to. Between the black slacks that fit like they’d been tailored for her, the crisp white button-down shirt rolled up to the elbows, and the narrow black tie, Sam was positively edible. “Is that your camera stuff?” Terri asked motioning to the bag Sam had.

  “That and other things. I asked Doug to grab one of my lenses for me and he may have seen a few of those other things.” Sam grinned. “He enjoyed giving me a hard time about the handcuffs. Would it be weird if I asked to use your shower?”

  “Not at all. There’s a bathroom up the stairs, first door on the left. Right next to the guest room. I figure we could use that room tonight for…things.”

  “Things?” Sam stepped in front of Terri. “I should make you say it. Make you say exactly what you want me to do to you.” She leaned close and met Terri’s lips with a light kiss.

  Before she could pull back, Terri caught her tie. She deepened the kiss, feeling her body respond with a resounding yes. The way her body wanted Sam overpowered any thought of trying to control her desire. She’d let Sam have her in every bed in the house if she asked.

  When Sam pulled back, she opened her eyes. “Don’t take too long in the shower.”

  “I won’t.” Sam shouldered her bag and headed upstairs.

  Terri tried to occupy herself in the kitchen, fussing with already clean counters and pouring two glasses of water. Some nights she still wanted the calm courage that came with alcohol, but it wasn’t worth the price. Especially not tonight. She hoped Sam didn’t care that she didn’t even have wine to offer. One thing was certain—Sam didn’t have any problem overcoming inhibitions entirely sober.

  When she couldn’t think of any other excuse to delay, she went upstairs. She passed the guest room, not letting herself peek in on Sam, and went to her own room.

  The condo had three bedrooms—two of which were master bedrooms each with their own bathroom. She had more space than she needed, and although she rarely had anyone staying over, she’d fully furnished all of the rooms. After some deliberation, she’d decided not to use her own tonight. Partly that was because she thought she could relax more if they weren’t in her bedroom, but also the guest master had a rod iron headboard that made her wet just imagining Sam slipping a rope around the rods.

  She turned on her stereo, letting “Lady Marmalade” blast, and slipped off her skirt and blouse. As she checked her reflection, a nervous excitement filled her. She’d worried about the lingerie, but with all the lace and the hooks and strings, it felt now like a strangely empowering sex costume.

  “Hot damn.” Sam stood in the doorway.

  “You don’t knock on a woman’s door?” Terri smiled despite how her heart pounded in her chest. “You never know what you might see doing that.”

  “I did knock. Your music’s loud.”

  “Nice excuse.” Terri didn’t move to turn down the music. The way Sam was openly appraising her made her feel unbelievably sexy. All the workout classes were entirely worth it to have someone lick their lips like they couldn’t wait to taste her.

  “It’s a good thing you’re not married anymore.”

  “Why’s that?”

  Sam leaned against the doorjamb. “All that about coveting someone’s wife…”

  “You covet me?”

  “I’m sorry. Was it not obvious?” Sam raised an eyebrow. “I’ll do better.”

  Sam had exchanged the suit for a white T-shirt and a pair of boxers. As good as she’d looked before, Terri liked this even better. But the clothing had less to do with it. The fact that Sam was here, leaning against her bedroom door, and had only come for one reason, eclipsed everything else.

  “You gonna invite me in?”

  “You already opened the door. Looks like you’re doing whatever you want tonight.”

  Sam came up to her and without preamble, reached for one of the straps connecting the bra to the panties. At her light tug, the material pulled taut between Terri’s legs. Terri wondered if Sam could smell her arousal. Could sense that she was already wet. Sam had enjoyed plenty of women before—she had to know how hungry Terri was for her.

  “I’m going to have trouble not coming as soon as you touch me.”

  “You’ll come when I tell you,” Sam said. Her tone was light, almost careless, but the words were an adrenaline shot to Terri. She felt keyed up and weak at the same time. Anything Sam asked, she’d do.

  With one fingertip, Sam followed the strap up to the lacy bra. She traced the curves, sending shivers through Terri when she brushed over her nipples. “I like this. Maybe I’ll let you keep it on for a while.”

  “Keep me decent?”

  “That’s not happening tonight.” Sam let her finger drop off the lingerie. “Do you want me to tell you about what comes next?”

  Terri wondered if Sam sensed how nervous she was. Regardless, there was no use pretending she knew what she was doing. She’d tried to prepare, even read online sites about D/s relationships and bondage. All of it only made her want Sam more. “It’s probably silly but…I decided on a safe word. Since I’ve never let anyone tie me up before.”

  “It’s not silly. But you know I’ll untie you as soon as you tell me.”

  Terri nodded. She trusted Sam, but this was still her first time. “Hamster.”

  Sam’s lips turned up in a half-smile. “I won’t ask why.” She caught Terri’s hand and took a step back toward the door. “All I’m gonna say is that I’ve been thinking about this all week.”

  Every step felt charged. Terri kept her eyes on Sam, trying not to question if the tingling sensation was fear or desire. When Sam opened the guest room door, she noticed the restraints right off.

  Black leather handcuffs were on plain display in the middle of the bed. Sam had stripped the bedding down to the white fitted sheet, and aside from the cuffs only one pillow remained, pushed up against the headboard. A black rope weaved between the rods of the headboard, and another was slipped around the footboard. She hadn’t thought about Sam restraining her ankles as well. She wouldn’t be able to even move her legs—she’d be completely at Sam’s command.

  “We don’t have to put any of this on you,” Sam said, somehow guessing her indecision. She caressed her arm. “Maybe we’re not ready…”

  Terri appreciated that Sam had said “we” as if it wasn’t only her who wasn’t ready. Sam might not be a BDSM expert, but Terri could tell she wasn’t nervous. The realization that this probably wasn’t Sam’s first time was a relief in a way. Terri didn’t want to know details, but she appreciated experience. She eyed the handcuffs again. “I want to try it.”

  “Good.”

  Sam pulled her into a kiss that blocked out all other thoughts. For the moment, this was only about sex. About blinding desire and a satisfying reward. About pleasure mixing with pain.

  She let Sam lead her to the bed and didn’t resist as she fitted the first handcuff on her wrist. The soft leather didn’t bind or chaff, but still she couldn’t help pulling back when Sam went to buckle the other handcuff.

  “Only one?” Sam asked.

  “No…I want both. And the ankles too.” Terri held out her hand so Sam could tighten the strap. She had trouble relaxing as she lay on the bed. Her arms were tethered above her head, and although she could move them a little, there’d be no way she could free herself. Sam moved from one side of the bed to the other as she attached a second pair of cuffs on her ankles. Soon she wouldn’t be able to resist anything Sam did to her.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, reminding herself that she trusted Sam. And she wanted this. In the background, pop music filtered in from her bedroom speakers. Taylor Swift. The song didn’t fit the mood, but something about not being able to control even the music amplified everything that was happening.