Kylie tapped her knee again. When Sam didn’t respond, she exhaled and finally looked away. They watched Daniel’s video game in silence until Kylie complained about early morning rounds. Sam let Kylie get up and head to her bedroom, but she still didn’t move.

  After another long sip of her beer, she closed her eyes. For a moment, she didn’t want to think of what came next. She let herself rest with Daniel’s video game monsters attacking each other as the soundtrack for her numb mind. A few minutes of numbness and then she’d take a shower and climb into bed.

  * * *

  The next morning, Terri gave no indication that anything had changed between them. She was brusque as usual during rounds and after the others had gone to check on their respective patients, she’d turned to Sam and curtly said: “Weiss told me he’s expecting you at nine.”

  Jack was doing well—thank God. By his mother’s words, he felt better than he had in weeks. By his own words, he was hungry and wanted pancakes. After she’d convinced him to try the sausage and eggs instead, she went to see Weiss.

  In a half hour it was all decided. She’d finish out her time in Med-Peds, continue on to the two weeks in Emergency as scheduled, but then take a week off before starting her month in Cardiology. She couldn’t help worrying who would take on an extra load for that week, but she agreed to the plan anyway.

  Weiss clapped her back enthusiastically as she left his office, and Sam tried to ignore the nagging doubt that she might still let him down.

  Chapter Ten

  A loud buzzing woke Sam from a dead sleep. Eyes closed, she pawed the nightstand until she found her phone and silenced the alarm. She slumped back on the pillows, wondering what day it was and what the alarm was for.

  Shit. Reed’s barbeque.

  She scrambled out of bed. She had to shower, pick up the ingredients for a fruit salad, and drive to Reed’s. In under an hour. Why hadn’t she’d given herself more time? And what was she going to wear? All of her clothes were in the laundry basket—or on the floor.

  On any ordinary Sunday, she’d have done all her laundry. But after working all week in Med-Peds with Terri, she’d been called in to ICU on Friday night. Forty hours later, she’d finally left the hospital that morning. By the time she got home, she’d had no energy to do anything more than stumble into bed.

  Rummaging through her dresser, she found black board shorts and a Ghostbusters T-shirt. Not an outfit that would impress anyone—least of all Terri—but at least she’d be clean.

  Reed’s place was a cute bungalow with kid stuff littering the yard. Sam had swung by a roadside farmers market for a bag of peaches and a flat of strawberries, and she picked her way up the front walk with her hands full. Her mother would have given her a hard time for not coming with the fruit salad prepared, but her mother had also never worked two overnight shifts after a full work week.

  Before she had a chance to ring the bell, the door popped open and a kid with brown curls scowled up at her. “Who are you?”

  “Sam.”

  “I don’t know you. What’s in your bag?”

  “Peaches.” Sam tried not to feel intimidated by the hard stare. When the kid crossed her arms, she realized she wasn’t getting in the door. She held up the tray of strawberries. “I’ve also got some yummy-looking berries.”

  The strawberries got a slightly more interested look, but the kid still wouldn’t budge. “Those aren’t berries. They’re strawberries.”

  “Well, strawberries are berries, right? So…can I come in?”

  “No, they’re not. Berries are different.”

  Sam scanned the entryway and the hallway beyond it for some sign of an adult. Why was she even arguing with this punk? She tried for a lighter tone. “If I say that strawberries aren’t berries can I come in?”

  “You’re a stranger.”

  “Yeah, but I know your moms. They invited me.” This was getting ridiculous. She clearly needed help. “Hello? Julia? Reed? It’s me. Sam.”

  “Hey, Sam,” Reed called. After a moment, she popped her head into the hallway and grinned. “Sam, meet Bryn. She’s our guard dog.”

  On cue, Bryn barred her teeth and growled.

  “Guard dog, huh? That’s pretty scary.” Sam tried smiling, hoping she might still win over the kid. “Do guard dogs like strawberries?”

  Bryn lunged forward and Sam jumped back. Her flip-flops caught on the edge of the doormat and she stumbled, nearly dropping the peaches, and then bumped into something behind her. An arm caught her waist and she turned in time to see Terri.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” Sam straightened up as Terri’s hand slid off her. Getting scared by a kid and then nearly falling was about as unsmooth as she’d ever been. Thank God Terri was the one blushing. “Thanks for catching me.”

  “I scared her,” Bryn said, cackling with laughter. Two seconds later she threw herself at Terri.

  Terri caught the kid, spun her in a circle, and then deposited her on the threshold with a kiss on the top of her head. “Kids can be pretty scary. But you, Bryn, are the worst. Congratulations.”

  Bryn soaked up the compliment. She grinned, showing way too many teeth, and then took off squealing down the hall. As soon as she’d gone, Terri said, “She grows on you.”

  “Like what? Resistant bacteria?”

  Terri laughed. “Yes. Exactly like that.”

  “I’m usually not scared of kids.”

  “Sure.” Terri winked. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.”

  Sam was about to argue, but the look in Terri’s eyes stopped her. “Hey, I wanted to thank you for dinner on Thursday. For talking to me and, well, for everything.”

  Terri continued to hold Sam’s gaze and the air between them seemed to grow hotter by the second. Finally Terri nodded and said simply, “You’re welcome.”

  Sam knew she still didn’t have a chance—Terri was too damn stubborn—but something was different in the way she looked at her tonight. Suddenly she wanted to convince her that they could skip this barbeque and go somewhere alone. A cafe or a park maybe. Somewhere to talk. But not about work. Since their dinner, she’d come up with about a hundred more questions she’d thought of asking. Before she got up the courage to say anything at all, Terri brushed past her and stepped into the entryway.

  “I wouldn’t stay out here alone if I were you. Bryn can smell fear.”

  Sam watched Terri’s hips swing as she walked down the hall. Her flowery skirt swished with every step, and Sam had to push away the thought of how easy it would be to slip a hand under the material. In fact, it wouldn’t be easy at all. Another woman wearing that skirt, maybe. Not Terri Anderson.

  The hall opened up to the kitchen where Reed was pouring barbeque sauce over a rack of ribs. She had on an apron with “Kiss The Cook” emblazoned on the chest and Julia was at her side in a matching apron.

  “Sorry I’m late for helping,” Terri said. “I got called in this afternoon… But I brought cheesecake for dessert.”

  “Perfect. We saved the veggies for you to chop for the kabobs.” Reed nodded to a pile of mushrooms, onions, tomatoes, and bell peppers.

  “Hey, Sam. Welcome.” Julia held up a barbeque-mitted hand. “Bryn told us she already managed to scare you.”

  “I wasn’t really scared—”

  “Oh, you’re not the only one,” Reed interrupted. “The mailman’s convinced she’s a gremlin.”

  “She’s actually very sweet,” Julia said. “It’s mostly an act. And Carly’s even sweeter—wherever she’s hiding. Do you need a serving bowl for those strawberries?”

  “And a cutting board. I brought peaches too.”

  Julia went over to a cabinet and pulled out a glass serving bowl. She set this next to a cutting board and pointed out the block of knives. Reed’s kitchen looked like the playground for a serious chef and Sam wondered who did most of the cooking.

  Reed held up the pan of ribs. “We better get this on the grill. You two gonna be okay if we abandon you for a minute?”

  “I think we’ll manage,” Terri said.

  “You sure?” Reed exchanged a glance with Terri, and Sam quickly turned to set the fruit on the counter, pretending not to notice that Terri’s cheeks were red again.

  “Come on, you,” Julia said, pushing Reed toward the open screen door. “Sam, watch out for anyone under five feet. They attack without notice.”

  “Thanks for the warning.”

  The moment the screen door closed, Bryn and another smaller kid with blond braids popped up from behind the couch near the sliding glass door. Bryn took one look at Sam, screeched, and took off running. The smaller kid stayed behind, her eyes and nose only a few inches above the sofa back cushions.

  “Hi, Carly,” Terri said. “Wanna help?”

  “Maybe later.” Carly had a voice a fraction as loud as her sister and a sweet smile. She glanced at Sam, blushed as red as Terri had earlier and then dropped back down behind the sofa.

  “Okay, now that one I could handle,” Sam said.

  “Yeah, you and Carly would get along.”

  “Why?”

  “You both like spying.”

  Sam opened her mouth to argue that she hadn’t really spied despite what she’d said, but the glint in Terri’s eye stopped her.

  “What?”

  Terri shrugged. “Nothing. I like you this way.”

  “Which way is that?” There was something about Terri’s tone and the way she didn’t answer the question that made Sam feel both self conscious and turned on at the same time. She looked down at the outfit she’d put together. “You a Ghostbusters fan?”

  “It’s not the clothes. Although you do have a nice butt in those shorts—which I was not going to tell you.” Terri reached for a colander and started pulling peaches out of the bag Sam had brought. “What I meant was I like this relaxed version of Sam. You work last night?”

  “And the night before. After our full week. And I didn’t sleep much in between.” Sam turned on the water and started rinsing off the strawberries. “Thanks for telling me you like my butt. Can I say I like you in a skirt?”

  Terri rocked her head side to side, her focus still on the peaches. “Probably not a good idea.”

  Bryn appeared at the back door, screaming for her sister to come outside and Carly crawled out from behind the couch. She waved, specifically at Sam, and then ran after her sister.

  “How long does it take for the other one to grow on you?”

  “She got me on the first day. But she was a tiny little baby then.” Terri handed Sam the colander filled with peaches. “You want to wash everything and I’ll start chopping?”

  After they’d finished with the fruit, they started in on the veggies. Sam hoped that Reed and Julia would stay outside for a while longer. As often as they worked together in the hospital, they were rarely alone and everything about tonight felt different.

  “Do you like cooking?” Sam asked.

  “As long as I don’t have to follow a recipe.” Terri handed her a bell pepper.

  “Because you don’t like being told what to do?” Sam rinsed the bell pepper and then took a tomato from Terri.

  “That depends.”

  “On what?” The question slipped out before Sam realized Terri’s innuendo. Instead of some cool response, Sam only managed. “Never mind. I get it. I’m a little sleepy.”

  “I can tell. You’re supposed to be washing that tomato.”

  “Yeah, but you distracted me and now I’m having a hard time focusing on a tomato.” Sam held the tomato under the water and then turned to hand it to Terri.

  Terri didn’t take it. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Same thing I’ve been thinking about since we went out for sushi. That I like you way more than I should.”

  “Way more, huh?” Terri held her gaze. “Sorry about that.”

  “You’re different tonight too.”

  “I’m not in work mode,” Terri said.

  “It’s more than that.”

  Terri finally took the tomato and chopped it, added the slices to the pile, and then looked back at Sam. “You look like you want to say something. What is it?”

  “Something I probably shouldn’t say.” Sam paused. Terri had leaned back against the counter to face her, the outline of her nipples barely visible through the thin material of her blouse. “You know, we wouldn’t have to date. And I wouldn’t tell anyone if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m good at keeping secrets.”

  “We went out for sushi for work reasons.”

  “I know. But we wouldn’t have to date,” Sam repeated.

  “So just a fuck? That’s what you’re looking for?”

  Heat went straight to Sam’s core as Terri’s challenging gaze held hers. The desire to slide between her legs blotted out every other thought. She swallowed. “I’m not gonna lie. I want more. And you keep being all professional, but…”

  “But what?”

  “I know I’m not the only one who wants it.” Sam also knew the chance she was taking. “You say you can’t date me. But what I’m saying is we wouldn’t have to date. I wouldn’t tell anyone and neither would you.” She paused, half expecting Terri to immediately shoot her down. When that didn’t happen, she added, “I know nothing can happen while we’re working together, but I start on Emergency in a week.”

  After a long minute, Terri said, “I’m not going to say you’re completely wrong.” She turned to the cutting board and started slicing a bell pepper. When she finished with the pepper, she reached for a second tomato. “You gonna start cleaning the rest of the mushrooms?”

  “I’d rather watch you,” Sam admitted.

  Terri raised an eyebrow but for once had no response. Sam took a step toward her, knowing full well she might get stopped. Terri’s knife stalled. She looked up at Sam, still not saying a word. The air between them sparked with electricity.

  Sam was close enough to kiss her, close enough to sense how they were both holding their breath. She slipped the knife out of Terri’s grasp and set it on the cutting board, then rested her hand over Terri’s—the smooth skin warm under her palm. Desire flooded her senses.

  Terri’s lips parted as Sam leaned toward her.

  “Boo!” Bryn’s voice was as loud as a cowbell clanging in an empty church.

  Sam stepped back quickly, letting go of Terri’s hand.

  “Were you going to kiss her, Aunt Terri? Bleh!” Bryn’s face puckered like she’d sucked on a lemon. “Kissing is so gross.”

  Sam wanted to find Bryn’s volume control button. There was a chance that Reed and Julia hadn’t heard but only a slim one. Maybe she could bribe her not to say anything more. As soon as she had that thought, however, Bryn darted outside and Sam’s stomach sank as she heard: “Aunt Terri almost got kissed! On the lips!”

  “Shit.” Terri reached for a kitchen towel, dried off her hands, and then picked up the filled tray of kabobs. “I’ll take these out to the grill if you want to finish up the rest.”

  Sam nodded, but Terri wasn’t looking at her now. She watched her leave, knowing she should say something. What the hell could she say?

  After too long deliberating, she picked up the knife Terri had left and quartered the tomato, then reached for the mushrooms. Her body was on auto-pilot as her thoughts raced from leaving to going after Terri. Even though she’d had no doubt Terri had wanted her kiss, she was clearly upset that they’d been caught. The only thing worse than getting interrupted during a kiss was never getting it in the first place—and still getting in trouble.

  Reed came in from the backyard. “I’m sorry. I talked to Bryn and told her she had no business spying on you.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “It’s not.” Reed sighed. “She’s a difficult kid. She can be amazing too but sometimes I’m not sure how to parent her. And she’s really protective of Terri.”

  “Maybe I should leave.”

  “You’re gonna leave Terri alone to weather this? I’d like to say that Bryn won’t bring it up again, but the truth is, I can’t promise that.”

  Sam exhaled. “Is Terri pissed?”

  “No. She’s…frazzled. And—” The doorbell rang, breaking off the rest of Reed’s sentence. “That’ll be Mo and Kate. Don’t worry. As soon as Bryn sees Mo, she won’t pay attention to anyone else for the rest of the night. She’s had a kid crush on Mo since the first moment she saw her.”

  With the addition of Mo and Kate, who Sam quickly learned were Julia’s college roommates and who had recently become a couple, the noise in the house quadrupled. Bryn was truly infatuated with Mo and tailed her like a yipping puppy dog. Even Carly came out of her shell, squealing when Kate pretended to chase her. Sam kept to the periphery, chatting with Mo while she finished off the kabobs and then answering questions from Kate about work as they all stood around the grill. She tried not to focus on Terri, but it was impossible not to be aware of her. Every so often, Terri’s gaze would settle on her and Sam was desperate then for a moment alone. It wasn’t clear that she was upset, but she didn’t look exactly happy either.

  They ate dinner outside in a backyard that clearly got more kid time than adult time. Between the patch of overgrown grass, a sprawling tree laden with dozens and dozens of green apples, and a swing set badly in need of a coat of paint, there was a raised garden bed that clearly hosted more snails than plants, a rickety kids’ picnic table, and an odd assortment of patio furniture. Something about the yard and the lack of formality in the dinner as well—with everyone grabbing what they wanted off the grill—made Sam finally relax.

  Terri sat with the kids and Mo at the picnic table. Julia and Kate each took lounge chairs. Reed sat on a folding chair clearly meant for the beach, and Sam settled in on a swinging bench with a torn canvas overhang.

  The conversation ranged from the upcoming wedding to stories from a recent trip to Mexico that they’d all gone on together. Sam listened, grateful that for the most part she wasn’t expected to add anything. Between the adults’ conversation and the kids’, there was no such thing as a quiet moment and the closeness of the group made Sam aware that she was the one outsider. Normally she would have risen to the occasion and joined in, but she felt Terri’s gaze on her too often and was stuck wondering if she’d screwed up again with her.