Or do you, Tara? I’m not sure I know what I mean. This is very confusing.

  Anyway, after a couple of hours, Howie and I left the pool and went back to his apartment. His father was out, so we were alone. And even though once again absolutely nothing happened between us, I thought I could feel this very subtle change. Like a change in the atmosphere or something. It was a pleasant change.

  And now it is Monday morning and something nice has happened between Howie and me, but I don’t even know what it is.

  One good thing: Susie and Howie and I are all such great friends that I know I can talk to Susie about this too.

  I feel like I’m just blabbering now, so I’ll sign off.

  Let me know how your baby-sitting job went.

  Love,

  Elizabeth

  Date: August 17 7:45:41 PM

  From: Blane

  Subj: Where in the World is Tara Starr Lane?

  To: Eliz812

  Hey, Elizabeth … Surprise! It’s Barb Lane.

  Tara Starr wants me to let you know that she will be unable to send or receive e-mail for several days.

  Why? you may ask…. Let me tell you!

  TARA STARR LANE IS BABY-SITTING…. That’s right, baby-sitting. Baby-sitting for a three-year-old boy named Dougie and an eight-month-old girl named Sara.

  Why is she doing this ???? We know it’s not because of her great love of babies.

  There are several reasons:

  1. It’s an emergency and she’s being a terrific kid and helping out. My friend Natalie is allergic to bee stings and got stung yesterday. She’s home from the hospital, but she needs help. So Tara Starr is going to stay with her for a few days. (Natalie’s husband is on an overseas business trip and her relatives live in California.)

  2. Even though Tara Starr said she would work for nothing, Natalie will be paying her and Tara can use the money to buy the things she considers essential that her parents don’t … like glitter notebooks and fluffy purple pens.

  3. I think Tara Starr is glad to have a vacation from her parents!!!

  So there you have it … why it will be next to impossible to contact Tara Starr for two days. (Did I mention that Natalie doesn’t have a computer????)

  Anyway, Luke and I are sending you lots of hugs and hope you and your mom and sister are doing well.

  Tara Starr will be in touch as soon as possible.

  As always,

  Barb

  Date: August 21 3:16:53 PM

  From: TSTARR

  Subj: I’m baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack

  To: Eliz812

  Dear Elizabeth,

  I’m home.

  I’m sooooooooooooooooooo tired.

  I wish that little kids came equipped with batteries that could be taken out when they need to calm down. Dougie, the three-year-old, never stopped ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I made up ribbons to give to him as prizes when he did something right … first-place ones for going to bed on time, making it to the potty on time, not bothering Tara★…. He didn’t get too many of those. I should have made ones that said: #1 at Temper Tantrums, #1 at Stalling at Bedtime, #1 at Driving Tara★ Nuts. If I’d made those up, he would have gotten a lot more ribbons. Actually, there were moments he was human and even kind of lovable. And he was sooooooooooo good when I read to him. I just loved rereading all my old favorite books. What great characters. Remember George and Martha, and Max from Where the Wild Things Are, and Arthur? And I just LOVE Frog and Toad.

  As for the baby, she sure is a puker and she can cry very loudly when she’s angry. Since her mom was sick, she couldn’t be fed the way she is used to being fed. (Nothing I could do to help with that one!!!!!) But I did give her bottles and she was kind of cute when she drank and held on to one of my fingers. The best thing about her is that she doesn’t tell stupid knock-knock jokes. (If Dougie told me the Boo Who one once more, I was going to have to scream.) You know what else is fun??? As long as you use a nice voice, you can say almost anything to a baby and watch her grin. I would say things like “You are a total nerdlet.” And “When you grow up, you’re going to get a tattoo.” And she laughed!

  So I survived it. Don’t think I don’t know that even though Natalie DID need help, it was part of a plot to get me used to babies. And who knows … even though I don’t get warm and goo-goo when I see one, I managed to survive the experience. (All right, I admit it … it actually was OK sometimes!!! But that’s all I will admit.)

  Oh, well … enough about that.

  Now on to the important things.

  While I was baby-sitting, a monumental thing happened. I BECAME A TEENAGER. OK … I know that you became one six days before me, so you are probably used to being one, but it’s new to me. Anyway, don’t get too proud of becoming a teenager first. You’ll also become a senior citizen first. (Actually I’ve never seen you toooooo proud, but anyway …) On my birthday, Barb and Luke came over to Natalie’s house with an ice-cream cake and we celebrated that way … but I’m going to be able to celebrate again …. There’s going to be another party when Hannah gets back from the lake and when BART gets back from exercising his cute body at tennis camp. We’re going to get together with the “gang” and have a combination Tara★ Birthday and Back-to-School Bash. Three celebrations for one birthday is a pretty good deal, huh? Wish you could be here.

  I am so glad Bart is coming back. I’ve missed him sooooooooo much. The only kissing I’ve been doing lately is with Dougie … and when I kiss him on the forehead, he screams, “Girl germs!” and then wipes the kiss off. But he keeps coming back for more.

  Speaking of kissing … hmmmmmm. Just what is happening between you and Howie???????? Last e-mail you said things were changing!!!!! So tell me all…. Ask me all. (If there is something major that you have questions about, you can always ask Barb. She’ll be glad to explain. It’s a little embarrassing at first, but then it’s pretty interesting!!!!!!!!)

  Love,

  Tara★

  Date: August 26 4:02:54 PM

  From: Eliz812

  Subj: Naptime

  To: TSTARR

  Dear Tara★Starr,

  Ahhh, naptime. Emma’s, that is. The longer the summer goes on, the more I look forward to her naptime. I still love taking care of Emma, but I’ve been at the job for two months now, and, well, naptime has taken on a special meaning for me. Unless Mom takes Emma out in the evening, it’s usually the only time I really have to myself each day. (You know how much I like living at DEER RUN, how much better things are than they were when Dad was around, but I do miss having my own room.)

  Anyway … so you baby-sat. HA! I can’t believe it. I’m glad it went well. Now when we write we can exchange sitting tips, arts-and-crafts ideas, child-friendly recipes. Do you know what “ants on a log” is? (Yes, it’s a recipe.) Tara, if you survived three days in charge of TWO kids, one of them a baby, then you can certainly survive the arrival of one sibling. Wouldn’t your job have been easy (well, a lot easier) if you’d only had to care for Sara? And when the B _____ arrives, you won’t have full-time charge of it anyway. You can probably work things out so you only get to do the fun things, like dress the B_____, play with her, tell her she’s a nerdlet – then turn her over to Barb and Luke when she’s crying or needs her diaper changed. (Can you tell that I hope the B_____ is a girl?)

  I don’t KNOW what is happening between Howie and me. That’s why I asked you to help me out. I know that wasn’t a very specific question (actually, it wasn’t even a question), but what do you think? As I said, I like the idea of Howie’s liking me and wanting to spend time alone with me, but … I don’t really know where this is going. Have your feelings for a boy ever changed? Like, first you were just friends with him and gradually you felt a little different? That’s what I meant when I asked for your advice.

  Anyway, I’m soooooo busy these days – baby-sitting, writing poetry, trying to see Susie and HOWIE in the evenings – so I better go.

  More soon.

  Love,

  Elizabeth

  Date: August 31 10:02:15 AM

  From: TSTARR

  Subj: Guys … and the B-word (two separate subjects ! ! ! ! !)

  To: Eliz812

  Dear Elizabeth,

  About Howie … I guess I need to ask some questions. I hope you don’t mind … and don’t think you need to answer anything you don’t want to. I know how shy you are about stuff like this. Anyway …

  1. What exactly have the two of you done … have you really done? So far it’s all in your mind. And in your heart. Right?

  2. How do you feel “a little different”? Does the new feeling make you nervous? Does it make you happy?

  3. Has Howie ever said anything … or done anything? As I remember, he is kind of shy too.

  To answer your question … yes, there are times when my feelings for a boy have changed, but you know me. My feelings change a lot. Usually I fall madly in love with a guy before I know him. Sometimes I end up never talking to him again. Sometimes he never even knows that I am in love with him … and my feelings change before he finds out. (That usually happens while I am watching him from across a room and see him pick his nose or scratch his butt or something.) Anyway, I think this is one way we are very different. I can’t see you acting the way I do with boys. (That doesn’t make one of us right and the other wrong … it’s just different ! ! ! ! !) You are much more cautious. I fall in and out of love a lot. But I really don’t think it’s real LOVE. After all, I’m only just thirteen, and there’s a lot more to real love. I think I just like the drama of it. Well, actually, there are some other things I like about it. But it’s a little embarrassing to write about, especially since I know how shy you are. Don’t get the wrong idea, though. What I’m talking about are just crushes … and some kissy-face. And with Bart, it’s more. It started out as this huge romantic crush, and the more I get to know him, the more I like him. He’s becoming a real friend as well as “The Boyfriend.”

  Does any of this help you at all ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

  Now, since you keep mentioning the B-word … Barb had a test and the baby is fine. The doctor asked if she wanted to know if it’s a boy or a girl, but my parents have decided they want to be surprised … they don’t care “as long as the baby is healthy.” Well, I want to know ! ! ! ! Since the little critter is going to be here, I think we should start planning its wardrobe right now. If it’s a girl, I have plans for outfits … sparkle booties, sequined rubber pants, and a bib with a necklace sewn on to it. This kid is going to have to have fashion flair. I guess I think the baby is a girl too. Let’s hope we’re right. (Do any of your arts-and-crafts projects show how to make the things I want to make? And while I’m mentioning that … what is “ants on a log”? ? ? ?)

  Just remember, Elizabeth, even though I am now admitting there is going to be a BABY, that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn into THE MOST WONDERFUL SISTER IN THE WORLD. Speaking of which, I have a special project. I’ve made a graph. On it are the measurements of MY room, my height and weight, and the projected height and weight of the baby. I’ve also made up a floor plan for who gets what part of the room. Needless to say, the baby gets only a small portion. She can sleep in a little storage crate. (Which I will “craftily” decorate.) After all, I was here first ! ! ! ! Tee-hee.

  So that’s it for now.

  Happy almost-time-to-start-a-new-school-year.

  Love,

  Tara★

  Date: August 31 4:17:37 PM

  From: Eliz812

  Subj: Your News

  To: TSTARR

  Dear Tara,

  I just got your e, and I only have time for a quick reply. I promise a longer e-letter later.

  For now:

  About Howie – he and I haven’t done a thing. It’s just that I think we’re beginning to have more emotional feelings about each other. We’ve always had fun when we hung out, and I feel like I could talk to Howie about anything, just like I could talk to you or Susie about anything. But now … I don’t know. There’s this funny edge to us, especially when we’re alone together. Like we know something that other people don’t know. But we’ve never kissed. We’ve never even held hands.

  About the B_____ – I like your graph project, but let me just remind you of one thing: Babies come with a lot of equipment. On your graph, make sure to allow space for the crib, a changing table, a dresser, and a rocker (at the very least). These would be the bare essentials for a new baby.

  About arts and crafts – I can find you directions and patterns for making all sorts of things. You know what? If you go back to that great fabric store you took me to and look at the back of all the big pattern books, almost every one of them includes a section on crafts. You’ll be surprised what fun stuff you can find in there for babies.

  Ants on a log – simple and yummy! Just spread peanut butter in a stalk of celery (that’s the log) and put raisins on top.

  Gotta go. More soon. This is Labor Day weekend, though, and we have a lot of plans, so the next time I write will probably be after SCHOOL has started.

  Love,

  Elizabeth

  Date: September 7 4:57:56 PM

  From: Eliz812

  Subj: Back to School

  To: TSTARR

  Dear Tara★,

  I can’t believe it. School has started again. Eighth grade ! ! ! ! ! Next year we’ll be going to HIGH SCHOOL. That is soooo hard to believe.

  Here’s a quick rundown of the day. I wore brand-new jeans, a new crop-top cotton sweater (a present from Mom because she said I had done a wonderful job with Emma and with generally helping out all summer), new black shoes (bought with my hard-earned $$), and new earrings. One earring is a piece of cherry pie; from the other dangles a knife, a fork, and a spoon. Howie and Susie and I walked to school together. During my study hall I met with Mrs.Jackson about Silhouette and we are going to hold our first meeting on Friday after school – my staff and I, that is. The staff is pretty much in place from last year, except that we have to give the sixth-graders and any new students the chance to join if they want to. Mrs. Jackson hopes that will happen in the next two weeks. And we are going to push to get our first issue out by the end of October. Isn’t that exciting?

  I actually have homework tonight. Not too much. The good thing, though, is that Emma started school today too, which means she’s back in day care in the afternoons, and she and Mom don’t come home until around six, so I have time to myself after school. I have to fix dinner, though. Tara, can you believe that Emma started KINDERGARTEN today? She’s at our old elementary school. And get this – she has my old kindergarten teacher. I can’t wait to hear her tales of the day.

  Okay. I better go start dinner.

  Love,

  Elizabeth

  P.S. Write and tell me about your first day of school. I guess you start tomorrow.

  Date: September 9 11:00:54 PM

  From: TSTARR

  Subj: Back-to-school and other parts of life

  To: Eliz812

  Yikers! Zounds! Where has the time gone?

  Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while but soooooooooooo much has happened.

  The Tara★ Birthday and Back-to-School Bash was super … soooooooooooo much fun …. Bart is back…. . Hannah is back …. So are the rest of the kids…. I baby-sat a little more …. The nerdlets are fine….

  Getting ready for school took more time than usual. Even though I didn’t buy much, a lot of time was spent at the mall making decisions about a back-to-school wardrobe. (With my limited budget, I didn’t get a lot. I just looked a lot.)

  I decided to try out a new first-day look. So I wore a skirt. That’s right, a SKIRT … long black. And I got a longish silky-looking purple shirt to go with it. I wore purple sneakers, lots of jewelry, and a lacy beret kind of thing on my head. If I do say so myself, I looked trés so-phisticated for my first day of eighth grade. I organized my friends (my girl friends) to dress up for the first day too. It was so much fun.

  I’ve decided to join the yearbook staff this year. Plus, I’ll still write my column for the paper. And I’m going to try out for the school play again, only THIS year it’s a musical, Annie. (I know, I know. I can’t carry a tune, but I’ll just sing softly if I get a part. In real life, I would die if I were an orphan, but in make-believe it will be fun. Hmmmmm, I wonder if there was ever a star of a musical who didn’t sing on key.)

  As for homework … you are not going to believe our assignment for social studies class. It’s for the unit on family. We have to pretend to be grown-ups. And we have to work out budgets, etc., AND we have to take care of babies. (Not real ones, but egg babies.) It’s a plot. I bet that somehow Barb and Luke have convinced the school to make me care for a baby …. Well, not really, since last year’s class had to do the same project. Our teacher, Mr. lzzard, has already assigned us to families. Hannah is a single mother. Bart is married to this girl Lisa, and they have a bouncing baby egg that they have named Bart Jr …. I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS SITUATION ! ! ! ! And obviously the baby egg is not bouncing, although I would like to bounce it. (Okay, I really don’t want to hurt an innocent baby egg, but Bart should be married to me.) I am married to this new kid, Phil. We have twin eggs. I have not yet given them names. Phil took them home tonight. I told him we would have to share custody, since Mr. Izzard said we are “separated but trying to work things out.” This is such a stupid assignment. I don’t want to have to take care of an egg as if it were a real child. Tomorrow Mr. Izzard (the gizzard) is going to tell us what out jobs are, etc., and we are going to have to work out a budget. I hope Phil and I make enough money to hire a full-time nanny or to send our children to boarding school.

  Hmmm … as you know, the B_____ in my family (not the make-believe egg one) is due mid-December. Maybe I can convince Barb and Luke to send it to boarding school. Do you think there is a boarding school for newborns? Just a thought. (Oh … and I know that the baby is going to take up a lot of space in MY room, but if life was fair it would only get a few square feet to live in.)