“He was, I swear.”

  Luka takes my face between his hands, his eyes searching me for something I can’t figure out. He looks... concerned. “Are you sure you’re not just stressed? Seeing things that maybe you want to see?”

  My eyes widen and I take a step back, out of his touch. His hands fall to his sides and I see the hurt in his eyes. I don’t think he meant to upset me with what he said, but he did. It hurt, and for so many reasons. The amount of accusations in that one, short question...

  “I know what I saw, Luka, and I definitely don’t want Jensen here. At all. He left us. Why would I want him back?”

  Jensen was my mate—our mate. He rejected us, and it still hurts every single day. The rejection doesn’t make the feelings go away, not entirely, it just makes it easier to deal with. But of course, that’s just the physical part of it. The mental part? I can’t ever let that go. The memories? They’ve haunted me for years. Years. It took a long time for me to get over what he did to us. Rejections usually take some time to get over. A few months or so. But for me, it was different.

  For years, since we were kids, way before mate bonds were a worry in our minds, it was the four of us, but then one day it just wasn’t. One day, out of nowhere, he was rejecting us and then he was gone. And for what? For the big buildings in the sky and fancy-smelling cologne? For shiny shoes and a fat bank account? For a load of humans calling him “sir” and for expensive cars?

  I stopped thinking about Jensen long ago, but I still feel the scars he left on my heart. He’s a phantom ache, and I don’t think there is a cure for that.

  “Because it’s natural?” Jordy adds in a soft tone. “Because he was our mate, and that bond is strong, even after the rejection. No one would blame you for that, Juni. No one. Especially not now, and especially not us. You should know that.”

  I grit my teeth and take another step back. It’s rare for us to argue about anything—hell, it’s rare for us to even disagree about something, but Jordy’s words seem to be hinting towards me wanting Jensen back for the sake of the pack. I don’t know if that’s worse than the accusations I got from Luka, and if the pack is so concerned with my mates then that’s just ridiculous, because how dare someone judge me for what Jensen did? How dare someone think less of me for being rejected? I didn’t do anything to make him reject me or us. It was his own selfish decision.

  “I’m going for a walk,” I grit out and turn to walk away before I say something I will regret.

  “Juni!” Jordy calls after me.

  “Let her go,” Luka mumbles. “She’ll be okay, she just needs a few minutes.”

  Luka... He always gets me. Always knows what’s going on in my head even when I don’t say it. He understands the angry parts of me and knows what I need almost always.

  I will be okay, and I do need a few minutes.

  But I don’t think either of those things will make this any easier.

  Chapter Eleven

  Jensen

  I make my way up the four flights of stairs—that I swear have gotten more narrow since this morning—with a case of water under one arm and my hands full of bags stuffed with bread, crackers, cookies, jerky, and a bunch of other junk I should not be eating.

  I’m dripping sweat by the time I reach my door and I’m pretty sure I’ll be switching up my workout routine when I get back home. If walking up the stairs with a little extra weight is killing me this much, then I’m definitely doing something wrong. It’s embarrassing, and I’m thankful no one is up here to see it.

  On top of that, after eating all of this shit riddled with sugar and empty calories, I’ll need to fast and workout double-time just to get the weight off and my body back to feeling normal.

  Being the stubborn fuck I am, I refuse to let go of anything while I wrangle with the key and lock to get the door open. With my arm going numb, I’m about ready to give up when it finally budges and I kick it open, stumbling in and dropping everything to the floor just as my phone starts to ring. I pull it from my pocket and answer it without looking to see who it is.

  “Stone,” I huff out, trying to catch my breath.

  “Hey, Jensen! How was your flight? Hope everything is going well.” It’s Norwick, sounding happy as ever and probably lounging in a gold-plated hot tub full of diamonds or some shit.

  “Just dandy,” I reply, shifting to hold the phone between my ear and shoulder as I get settled in. I close and lock the door, pull my wallet from my pocket and place it and the keys on the small table by the bed before taking the phone back in my hand.

  “You sure? You sound out of breath. Walking around those woods too much for ya?” He lets out a wheezy laugh and my hand tightens on the small piece of plastic. I instantly ease up and take a breath, knowing if it breaks there’s no replacing it. Not in this town.

  “Nope, you just caught me in a self-love moment.”

  “You dog!” His laugh turns to a cackle, and I move the phone away from my mouth, so I don’t go deaf, and try to stop my eyes from rolling so hard they’ll end up back in Seattle.

  “Did you call to see what I was up to?”

  “Aw, no. I got more important things to do than that. I had a meeting today with my guys and we want to expand the territory. I gave in and looked up some photos on that Google thing you were talking about. Still not impressed, but I did find a small area about a mile north.” My stomach drops and I freeze. “Looks like a cozy little lake. I want it. Go by there tomorrow and send me pictures. I want to make sure it’s as nice as it looks in those Googley pictures.”

  My mind goes blank. I can’t think. Can’t form words. He wants me to go to the nest? I can’t go to the nest... Just the thought of it has—

  “Jensen? You there?”

  “Wh–yeah. Yeah, I’m here.” I run a hand through my hair. “First thing in the morning. I’ll be there. Check your emails early afternoon.”

  I end the call before he can say another word, and take a few steps back until I feel the bed. I drop to the bed, my entire body numb.

  “Just one more time? Please!”

  I fight the smile as I plant my hands on my hips. Skye swims back towards the floating dock, a pout on her pink lips.

  “Come on, Jensen! Just once more.” She splashes the water around her, her eyes bright with mischief.

  I glance at Jordy and Luka, who are sitting on the edge with their feet in the water, raising a brow. “You do it best, man,” Jordy says, shaking his head. He’s doing this new thing with his hair. Basically, he’s refusing to cut it to rebel against his parents or some shit. Or maybe he’s just trying to be like Luka, I’m not sure. Either way, I kind of like it. It matches the dark, edgy look he has going.

  I hold up my hand, showing her one finger. “Once more,” I say with a tilt of my head and a huge smile I can’t fight off any longer.

  She squeals in excitement and plants her hands on the dock, pulling herself up. Jordy fights the urge to help her, but she’s already scolded him more than once for doing it. Skye wants to be independent, doesn’t want to rely on anyone, and wants to be strong. I blame her being the daughter of an alpha, and the smallest person in our pack, for that attitude. Not that they’re bad qualities to have, but I see how much it hurts Jordy when he can’t be a gentleman the way he wants.

  Skye stands and scurries over to me, dripping wet. This girl is part fish, I swear. She could spend all day in the water. I wish we didn’t have responsibilities in this pack and could move far away to some island where she could swim all day and not have to worry about anything. We’ve talked about it before, so many times, and I wish like hell I could make it happen for us. I love seeing her smile and I’d do anything to make her smile all the time.

  “Last time,” I tell her as she bounces on her feet. I wish I could stay here all day with them and mess around, but I can’t. None of us can. We have stuff to do to prepare for the annual mating ceremony tonight. It’s not our year to be chosen, considering we’re only seventeen, but next year... it could happen at any time. The thought is bittersweet; a little terrifying but also exciting.

  The four of us talk about it often, especially recently, not at all hiding our feelings for one another. We’re all pretty sure we’re meant to be, but there is the slight chance the universe has other plans. I try not to worry about it now though, and if Skye knew I was, she’d scold me too.

  So instead, I focus on her. On the way the sun glimmers off her dripping wet, curvy body. How her golden eyes shine bright like a fire, the way she chews on her bottom lip, and the things it does to me... how it makes me long to kiss her. Before I do it and start something else that we can’t stop, I move to the edge of the dock and get into position, locking my fingers together and bending my knees just a little. Skye moves in front of me, placing one foot onto my hands and her hands onto my shoulders. Her grin is contagious, and I can’t help but smile when I see how happy she is, and the sound she makes, the giddy laugh that leaves her throat when I launch her off this dock... fuck, it’s like the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.

  “Ready?” She nods. “On three,” I tell her. “One... Two... Three!” I hoist her upwards as she steps up and she shoots about five feet into the air before plummeting back down towards the water, that magical laughter of hers filling the forest around us. She curls into a ball and hits the water hard, causing a splash that reaches the three of us, and we all laugh. I watch the water, waiting for her to come up, and when she does, I swear it’s like I’m staring at an angel.

  The sound of a ringing phone pulls me from the memory that has my chest aching. But I forget all about it when I realize it’s the room phone and not my cell. I get to my feet and move to the off-white corded phone and pick it up, wondering who the hell could be calling me here.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s Redd. There’s someone down here to see you.”

  I pull the phone away and stare at it as if it’s going to tell me who’s here. I bring it back to my ear. “You sure you got the right room? This is Jens—”

  “I know who you are. Just get downstairs,” he snaps and then the line goes dead.

  With a shake of my head, I prepare myself for what is no doubt going to be a fucking shit show. Norwick obviously sent his guy here early, and I’m in no mood to deal with that hoity-toity fucker, especially when I still have the whole fucking day ahead of me and hoped to spend it alone.

  Chapter Twelve

  Juniper-Skye

  As I make my way through the woods, I try to work through my emotions and figure out what the hell is going on and why I feel the way I do.

  Anxious. Confused. Sick. Worried.

  The list goes on and on. When I find myself going round and round with no answer in sight, I make a decision. Maybe a stupid decision, but a decision all the same. Deep down, I know this will be the only thing that’ll help me make sense of all this. It’s the only way to ease my mind and get answers. I can’t have a distraction right now. I can’t afford to be worried about someone who wants nothing to do with me when there is already so much on my plate.

  It’s been so long since he’s left. Six whole years. It was really hard at first, but then it got easier and easier, then it was almost like he didn’t exist, just the scars he left. At times, something would remind me of him. Like whenever I had to go by the nest, or when I see the tree we carved our initials in, or sometimes he’s in my dreams for no reason I can figure out. I wake up in the middle of the night and then I can’t go back to sleep because I’m haunted by his intense stare.

  But seeing him, the real him, after all this time? It’s like all those old wounds have opened up, and if I don’t do something to close them, I’m not sure they’ll go away at all this time. They won’t heal as easily the second time around because it’s already weak.

  So I change my path, do a one-eighty and head South towards Kierheart, knowing there is only one place he could be staying if he’s staying here at all, and if he isn’t there, I’ll find him, wherever he is.

  Because I know it was him and I need answers.

  That overwhelming scent of rich asshole can be smelled a mile away, and any shifter could scent him out. People in this town know him and if they see him, they’ll tell me. They have no alliance to him, even if he used to be one of us. Blackcreek Pack doesn’t own Kierheart, but it’s well-known we have the best relationship with them, and it’s mostly due to us being the closest. Moonnight Pack works closely with them too, because they’re not too far off, just a bit more West than us, but it’s Blackcreek bears who run some of the stores in the town, the ones who work side by side with a few trusted humans to ensure that town is what we want it to be, and to keep it safe for all of us while also expanding its opportunities.

  If anyone in that town has seen Jensen Woodborough, I’ll certainly know about it.

  As I reach the inn, I look up at it, suddenly feeling intimidated. My stomach twists and I find myself hesitant, not wanting to go into the building I’ve been in a hundred times before. I hate how insecure I feel all of a sudden.

  “It’s just a building, Juniper,” I tell myself. “Doesn’t mean he’s here.” I force my feet to carry me towards the steps. “He’s fancy now. Has a fancy life with a fancy lifestyle. Why would he be sleeping in the Hersch Inn when there’s a Marriott thirty miles out of town?” I keep mumbling to myself as I walk in through the front door, thankful to find Redd at the check-in desk. He looks up as I turn towards him and his face pales.

  I know in that very moment my gut was right. I’m not crazy. That was Jensen in the woods, and he’s staying here.

  Redd stands up quickly, his fingers splayed out on the desk.

  “Juniper, what’re you doing here?”

  With a deep breath, I move towards him, holding my head high.

  “I think you already know the answer to that question.”

  He glances towards the hallway from the side of his eye and lets out a sigh, shaking his head.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea, Juni. It’s just going to upset you.”

  Redd has always been so nice to me, like the brother I never had, and he really stepped up once Jensen left. Yes, I still had Jordy and Luka, and no one will ever replace them, but for a long time, they reminded me of Jensen. It was hard to go from the four of us to the three of us. We’d always done everything together, and changing our dynamic wasn’t easy. It was almost like I had to retrain myself to do all sorts of normal things, like Jensen was a limb I used so naturally until one day it was just gone and I had to learn to live without it. Without him...

  Jordy and Luka were angry of course. Not at me, but at him. At the situation. They were hurt too because they were also rejected, they just dealt with it differently than I did. Luka was angry outwards, and Jordy was angry inwards. They’re like night and day, and in some ways, I think that helped us all get through it and turn out okay. Our love for one another is the thing that pulled us through because, without that, I none of us would have survived it.

  Shifters have been known to die of a broken heart due to rejection. Not a literal broken heart, but from feeling the pain so badly, so deeply, they forget to live. They forget to eat and take care of themselves, and they dwindle away.

  It’s horrible.

  “I’ll be fine, Redd. I promise.”

  I don’t know if that’s true, but I sure sound confident.

  He glances at the hallway again before looking back at me, and he swallows hard, clearly struggling with what he wants to do versus what I want him to do.

  “How about you just call him and have him come out here?” I offer, partly for Redd’s sanity and partly for mine. I don’t know what will happen if I’m in a room alone with Jensen, and I don’t mean that in the sense I’ll do anything to hurt my mates, but I may get a few sucker punches in and then crawl into the corner and cry myself to sleep. At least here, in front of Redd, and whoever else may come in, I’ll keep my composure.

  I hope, anyway.

  I’m the future alpha of Blackcreek, and I have a reputation to uphold. I hope that’s enough to keep myself in check.

  Redd finally agrees with a nod and picks up the phone that’s sitting on the corner of his desk, pressing a few buttons before bringing the receiver to his ear. His eyes are on me the entire time, but they hold a blank stare, and I can tell he isn’t happy with what he’s doing.

  “It’s Redd. There’s someone down here to see you.” I can’t hear what Jensen is saying on the other line, but I can only assume he’s put off by having to come out here. Surprise, surprise. “I know who you are. Just get downstairs,” Redd says firmly before hanging up the phone.

  He offers me a tight smile, but I don’t miss the way his hands fidget with a pen that was lying on the desk.

  My heart starts to pick up as the seconds move on, my palms growing so sweaty I have to discreetly wipe them on my shorts a couple of times. I have no idea where Jensen is staying in the inn so I can’t gauge how long it’ll take him to get here. I feel so sick, so light-headed, I almost turn tail and run out the front door like a coward.

  This was a bad idea, and I have no idea what the hell I was thinking.

  What am I going to say to him? Hell, why did I decide to do this? And without Jordy and Luka... Gods, this was so stupid.

  I start to panic, fear taking over my entire body as my brain goes blank.

  I’m about to open my mouth and ask Redd to cover for me, tell him it was someone else, or just him calling him down here to piss him off. Something. Anything. But the moment my lips part, Jensen turns the corner, and it’s like the entire world stops. Like everyone around me ceases to exist and it’s only him and me. Just us. Juniper and Jensen, the way it was from the beginning.

  Our romantic interest in one another flourished first. It’s what started it all. The four of us had always been friends, but Jensen was the flirty, fun one, and as we got older and reached our teenage years, our friendship turned into something a little more. Not too soon after, it was Jordy, and then finally Luka.