For us, multiple mates are as natural as gravity. It’s what holds us to our place on earth. So there was no jealousy among any of us. Not even for a second. Not everyone is as lucky as me to have so many mates. Most people only have two, and some have one. It’s not the numbers that people care about, but as soon as you have that rejection mark on you... it’s like you’re damaged goods, no matter who it was doing the rejecting. It’s really stupid.

  Now though, Jensen isn’t our mate anymore. He rejected us. The three of us, and even though it can be reversed, the scars he left... they’ve never stopped aching.

  Not until now.

  The look on Jensen’s face when his eyes set on me is a mix of hurt, betrayal, and shock.

  As if he has the right to feel any of those things.

  He doesn’t. He was the one who did this. He was the one who left. Who told us he didn’t want to be a part of this. Him. Not me.

  The thought that he’s hurt over this enrages me. How dare he?

  Yet, I can’t help those old feelings that stir in my belly over how he’s grown. How he’s changed, and at the same time is still the same. He’s gotten a little bigger—both taller and in bulk. His hair is neatly trimmed but still dark, and his skin is clear. His clothes are neat and clean, and that expensive scent fills the room, and suddenly it’s more appealing than it was out in the woods when I didn’t know who he was. It smells good because it’s him, and I kind of hate it.

  Hate that even after all this time, after all these years, after what he did, Jensen still makes my stomach do flips.

  Even after he rejected me, chose a life away from me, and hurt me beyond what I can fathom, I still yearn for him.

  And I fucking hate it.

  I hate how attractive he is, and how much my chest aches to be near him.

  I hate that I have to fight with myself to stay where I am and not run to him and touch every inch of his body.

  I hate how my heart speeds up and my entire body warms at the thought of him touching me.

  I grit my teeth and lift my head, knowing I can’t give in to any of those feelings. Not just for Jordy and Luka, but because Jensen doesn’t deserve them. He doesn’t deserve any part of me.

  “What are you doing here?” I finally ask. I’m proud at how my voice doesn’t break.

  He’s still at the other end of the room, not at all attempting to come closer. Even if it does make me mad, it’s clear he’s upset too. Only I hope his pain is worse. So much worse. I hope he feels pain over what he did and hope he feels the hurt he caused. I hope he’s sick to his stomach right now, and I hope he’s pissed over what he’s missing out on.

  When he doesn’t say anything for a long moment, I cross my arms over my chest, tapping into my anger. The anger I’ve felt over the last six damn years.

  “Well?!” I shout much louder than I intended.

  Redd flinched behind the desk and I suck in a deep breath through my nose as I glance towards him. He’s always been a little skittish, and truthfully, I shouldn’t be yelling in here anyway. People are staying here, maybe sleeping—even though it’s afternoon. I can’t make a scene. It’s just not right. Both to be courteous to everyone here, and also, I’m an alpha now and have a reputation to uphold...

  As the seconds tick on, feeling like minutes and then hours, and there’s still nothing but silence, I’m hit with a wave of insecurity. Whatever confidence I had is gone. It’s all drained and I’m left feeling vulnerable and sad. Especially as I bring my eyes back to Jensen and find what I can only describe as pain in his pretty brown eyes.

  “Ya know what? Forget it.” My voice trembles and I turn to Redd. “I’m sorry, Redd. I shouldn’t have come here.”

  I turn on my heel and head towards the door, thankful when I make it down the steps without a single person following me or a tear falling from my eye.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jensen

  The ache I feel in my chest when I set eyes on Skye is enough to stop me dead in my tracks. It hurts so fiercely I’m sure I’m having a heart attack or maybe she had a gun and shot me but I hadn’t realized.

  I’d deserve it.

  Fuck, I deserve it so much.

  She opens her mouth and speaks but I can’t process what she’s saying. It’s like seeing her in front of me has cast some sort of spell on me, making me forget how to do basic things I do every day like speak or hear. She opens her mouth again, and I hear a sound, something that sounds angry, but I still can’t make out the words. She sounds like the adults in that Charlie Brown TV show, only with the volume going in and out. Maybe I’m having a stroke?

  Redd flinches and I glance at him in shock, unable to understand a single fucking thing happening right now.

  Skye is here. She’s standing in front of me, just across the room, looking more beautiful than ever, and I’m here, standing like a fucking fool, unable to process what’s happening.

  “—have come here.” The last bit of her words reach me, and I understand them finally, but then it’s too late. She’s turning and leaving through the front door before I can make sense of anything else.

  She’s gone.

  Gone like she’s been for the last six years. Only this time, she walked away from me.

  She left me.

  It hurts.

  Why the hell does it hurt?

  I deserve it and so much more. I know that. I chose a different life, one where I wouldn’t have to hurt. One where I would make a living for myself, with just me, and I wouldn’t have to worry about a damn thing. She’d be here, happy with Jordy and Luka, and we’d all go on with our lives, never having to see one another again, but then there was Norwick. That fucking asswipe.

  I grit my teeth and glance towards the door, and before I can think twice, I make a dash for it. Redd jerks out from behind the desk, but I’m faster than him and make it outside with him shouting behind me, telling me to stop and go back to my room. I ignore him as I rush down the front steps and look both ways before I spot Skye up the road, heading back to the woods.

  I go after her. I don’t know why I do it, I just do.

  “Skye!” I shout.

  I shouldn’t be doing this. This isn’t part of the plan. I should leave her alone, let her go, and go back to my damn room. Hell, if I were smart, I’d be on the next plane out of here. This is all too much. This isn’t worth it anymore. Yet, I keep going. I keep chasing after her like I have a reason to.

  How the hell did she even find out I was here? And how did she know where I was?

  “Skye!” I call again, my body doing its own thing and ignoring everything my brain wants—the same way Skye is ignoring me. I know this is stupid and I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s only going to end in pain. For both of us... fuck, for all of us. If Jordy and Luka know... With a growl, I pump my legs harder and call her name again. I’m almost to her now, I’m just about there.

  When I finally reach her, I slow my pace and move in front of her.

  “Skye,” I say again through a huff of air.

  “Stop calling me that!” she shouts in my face, her fists clenched at her sides as she tries to move around me. I stop and turn my body, watching her go.

  “What?” I ask. She scoffs and keeps going, so I follow her. “What do you mean stop calling you that?”

  “No one calls me that anymore, Jensen.” My name on her lips is like a spell, and I stop, closing my eyes for half a second to get ahold of myself before I drop to my knees and beg her to stop and talk to me. To forgive me for everything. “I go by Juniper now.”

  Her words have me moving again. “But you hate that name.”

  “Hated,” she says firmly, refusing to look at me and keeps stomping down the road.

  “Okay... Can you stop, please? Just for like... a minute.” She doesn’t. Just ignores me and keeps going. “Don’t make me beg,” I plead.

  “It’s the least you could do.”

  I nod my head even though she can’t see me as I keep following after her.

  “I know...” I admit, and for some reason, that’s what gets her. She slows down until she stops completely, but she doesn’t bring her eyes to look at me, and I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to look at me either, the coward who wouldn’t commit because he was too afraid. I know that’s why I did it. Always knew. I accepted it and it’s why I left them.

  I look her over and notice she’s tense. I want to reach out and touch her, make her feel better, but it’s not my place, not anymore.

  “Sk—Juniper, look...” I run a hand through my hair, noting my sweaty forehead. It’s got to be the air out here messing me up or something because there is no way I’m this out of shape. Sure, I haven’t gone to the gym in about a week, but my routine is solid and consistent otherwise.

  The muscles in her jaw clench as she looks beyond me and out at the town and the way her chest rises as she takes a deep breath. She turns her head and finally looks up at me, those gold eyes sparkling in the sunlight. The air leaves my lungs and my knees weaken. I take a small step back, trying to steady myself. She’s beautiful. Breathtaking. She has been since the first day I met her. But here? Now? She’s grown and changed just a little. Just enough to go from the girl she was to the woman she is now. She’s lost some weight and toned out. Her lips are more full and her eyes just a little bigger, and I bet they’re gorgeous when she smiles. When she laughs... Fuck, what I wouldn’t give to hear her laugh right now.

  “What, Jensen? What do you want?”

  I hate that she does that. Hate that she always uses people’s names when talking to them. Especially mine. She’s always done it. I asked her why once, when we were younger, and she told me she wanted people to know she was present in the conversation, hoped that it made them feel like she was paying attention to them. That’s the kind of person she is. Always worried about other people and wanting them to feel heard. I’ve always felt heard when speaking to her.

  She’s going to make an amazing alpha.

  A flash of something resembling hope is in her eyes for a split-second, but she blinks and it’s gone, impatience taking over.

  “I just wanted to let you know I’m not here for you.”

  Idiot. You fucking idiot!

  She winces. The hurt that crosses her face kills me. Fucking guts me. How could I be so stupid? The pain on her face doesn’t last though because she doesn’t let it.

  Skye isn’t one of those girls who lets anyone affect her or change her mind. She knows what she wants and she gets it. It’s what made leaving possible. I knew she would be okay. I knew they would get through this. I knew she’d heal because she’s strong.

  So much fucking stronger than me.

  “Well, fucking thanks for that, Jensen,” she grounds out before turning on her heel and stomping off.

  “Fuck,” I groan as I take off after her once more.

  “That’s not what I meant!” I call.

  “Oh, no?” she shouts over her shoulder, moving faster. “So you are here for me, then?”

  “Well... no, but—”

  “Just go home, Jensen!” She spins to face me, and I have to stop short before I bump into her. I’m worried if I touch her, even on accident, I won’t be able to stop. I take a step back so I can see her. She may have changed over the years, but she hasn’t grown any taller. “You don’t belong here anymore! Go back to your fancy fucking life, and leave us alone!” she shrieks.

  I take another step away, that pain in my chest back and worse than ever. It’s like she’s taken a sword and shoved it straight through my heart.

  She stares at me for a long moment, anger radiating from her before she turns and continues up the road with a shake of her head and a curse under her breath.

  I don’t follow her this time because I know she doesn’t want me to.

  Instead, I stand in the middle of the road like a fool, like the complete and utter moron I am, wondering what the fuck I’m doing with my life and how I ended up here.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Juniper-Skye

  The rain pours from the sky, and the trees do nothing to stop it from reaching us. It comes down in buckets, causing puddles all over the yard that’ll soon enough be one giant one.

  The front porch has become a comfort spot for me, the left side of the swing in particular. It’s close to the end of the porch, and I like the openness of it while still being so close to home. The cushions are worn-in from me sitting here; it’s almost like I’m sitting on bare wood, but I don’t want a new one. I like this one. I like the way it’s molded to my butt. Even if it isn’t the most comfortable physically, it gives me a sense of comfort I can’t explain.

  The screen door squeaks open and Luka walks out, his gaze darting in my direction.

  He lets the door swing shut behind him as he moves over and takes the seat beside me, causing the swing to move back before swinging forward again.

  The bench swing could fit three of me, but when one of my boys sits with me, no one else is fitting on this swing. In fact, I’m surprised it holds their weight at all with how old and weathered it is. I’m pretty sure it’s older than me.

  “You want to tell me what happened now?” His voice is even, not at all accusatory or angry, but maybe a little concerned, like he has bad thoughts going through his head and needs me to get rid of them.

  I came home in a worse mood than when I’d left, even refusing to go to the bonfire that was planned for tonight. Thankfully the rain postponed it anyway, so I didn’t have to look like a fool by not going. I can’t even imagine what the members who don’t like me would have to say about that.

  Jordy and Luka know something is wrong, they have since I walked in the door, but I can’t talk about it. I’m grateful they aren’t assholes and have chosen to give me my space.

  How can I admit to them what happened when I can barely understand it myself?

  I know I have to tell them at some point, and I will. I won’t keep anything from them because I’m pretty sure earlier was a good idea of how lying to them will go, but I know what I have to admit to them will hurt in so many ways, and not just them, but me too. I don’t want them to hurt, ever. I want to protect them from all kinds of pain, the same way they want to protect me, and maybe I don’t want to deal with my own pain either. Talking about it makes it real, and it makes it hurt so much more than before.

  How can I tell them what I felt when I saw Jensen? That I’m hurting all over again just because I looked at him? How can that be? He rejected me, it shouldn’t still hurt this much... right?

  Instead of answering him, I rest my head on his arm since he’s too tall for me to rest on his shoulder. He moves a few inches closer to me, lifting his arm and pulling me against his side where it’s warm. I rest my hand on his thigh, brushing my thumb along the silky-soft material of his shorts, allowing the warmth of his skin to bring me a small sense of peace. Knowing I have him and Jordy is the only thing that gets me through the day. Through everything that happened with Jensen, my father dying, this alpha stuff, and now Jensen all over again. If it weren’t for them, I don’t know where I’d be.

  “Baby, we know something happened,” he says in that soothing, husky voice of his. “We’re not mad, we’re just worried.”

  They always talk like that. Speak for each other. They have such a close relationship and share a lot with one another. They usually agree on things and can share words without actually saying anything. Like that weird twin thing, only they aren’t even brothers. When it comes to our relationship, there are no hiccups, there are no mess-ups, there are no mistakes...

  Which is why it’s so hard to admit this to them. Jensen being here throws a wrinkle in our seamless lives. Even the alpha stuff didn’t do that. I didn’t look at it like a problem, it was just another obstacle to overcome, one I knew wouldn’t be an issue because I have my mates. I could always see our future in front of my face like a painting. That’s how sure I am of us.

  But Jensen being here... I don’t know what this means. I don’t know what it’ll do for us.

  Especially considering I don’t know why he’s here, how long he’ll be here, or why it’s bothering me so damn much.

  “I went to see Jensen,” I finally say. I feel the hitch of his breath against my cheek and quickly continue. “I know I shouldn’t have, but—”

  “Why?” His word is clipped and I know he’s upset now. I know he’s hurt. Even though nothing happened, I betrayed him. In a sense, that’s what this is. Jensen hurt us, all of us, and I went to him. Willingly. I left Luka and Jordy behind because I needed space, and I sought out the closest person to an ex-boyfriend that I have, and that’s not fair.

  “I just needed answers,” I say, focusing on my finger running along his shorts, the way the muscles in his thighs contract as he uses his feet to swing us slightly. I need the small distraction, or I won’t be able to speak at all.

  “Did you get them?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut, and take in a slow breath. “No.”

  I sit straight and look up at Luka. It takes him a second but he finally looks down, turning his head just slightly for his eyes to meet mine. The look on his face is a mixture of so many emotions I can’t quite pinpoint all of them.

  “I’m sorry, baby. Truly, I am, but Jensen isn’t going to change. I don’t know why he’s here, and maybe that’s for the best. We have other things we need to focus on, responsibilities here that we have to take care of. We don’t have time for Jensen and whatever his problem is, and it’s probably best you realize that now.”

  I chew on the inside of my cheek as I listen to his words. He isn’t being cruel, he’s just speaking the truth... very blatantly as he usually does. Luka doesn’t sugarcoat things, and if you don’t know him the way I do, you’d think he was a complete asshole, but he’s not. In fact, I agree with him. It hurts, but I agree all the same. He sighs before continuing. “He did what he did for his own selfish reasons, and I think that’s the most we’re going to get from him. I know it isn’t the answer you want, but you’ll have to accept it.”