I sink my teeth into my bottom lip and give him a nod, fighting the tears that want to escape while hating every word Luka speaks because I know it’s true.

  But instead of holding onto this hate, instead of letting it distract me, I have to choose to let it go.

  Jensen had his reasons for doing what he did. I’ll most likely never know what they were, and even if I did, who’s to say they’d make sense? I hate that I’m now torn between dealing with what he did and why he’s here now. I’d made peace with him leaving long ago. Yes, it still hurt, but I’d accepted it. I’d learned to live my life.

  Why the hell does his being here bring everything back up? Why is this so damn hard?

  “You’re right.” I tilt my head and look up to Luka again before getting to my feet and holding out my hands. I have to put all thoughts of Jensen away and convince myself it doesn’t matter why he’s here. It doesn’t change anything. I force a smile on my face and say, “Let’s go make popcorn and play a game. I haven’t kicked Jordy’s butt in chess in a while.”

  He smiles and his eyes crinkle in the corners as he does. He gets to his feet before taking my hand and leads me into the house.

  “Jordy! Juniper has challenged you to chess!” Luka calls out as if we didn’t just have a heavy conversation outside. As if the simple words spoken were the end-all, be-all of Jensen. Maybe if I tell myself that, it’ll be true?

  “Prepare for your demise, Juni!” Jordy calls back from down the hall.

  I roll my eyes and let go of Luka’s hand as I head into the kitchen and chuckle to myself. Luka goes down the hallway and turns into the spare room to get the well-used chessboard.

  I open the snack cabinet and pull out a tin of popcorn. Most of the food we eat is natural, grown ourselves or by someone in our pack, but we also like to indulge in other things we can only get from the town, like popcorn and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. I tried making it myself once, and it was okay... but I prefer the store kind, so it goes on our list when someone makes a trip to town.

  I turn on the small propane stove, put the popcorn pan on top, and head to the fridge to get drinks for the three of us. I take out the container of fresh lemonade and pour each of us a glass before grabbing them all in my hands and bringing them to the table where Luka is already sitting and setting up the board. He doesn’t like playing chess and says he finds it boring, but he sure as hell enjoys sitting by and watching Jordy and I go at each other over it.

  “Where’s Jordy?” I ask, placing the drinks down carefully just as Luka sets the last black pawn into place and moves onto the other side.

  “Getting dressed. He just finished in the shower.” I raise a brow and smirk. Luka shakes his head and starts to place the ivory pieces onto their respective squares. “You’re so dirty,” he teases.

  “Well, if you weren’t so sexy...” I say in return.

  Luka laughs and sits up straight, meeting my eyes.

  “Ready to kick his ass?” he asks, completely avoiding my advances since they come so often. We’re all normally playful and flirty with one another, and most of the time the comments just get swept away and that’s okay.

  But for some reason, right now, it bothers me, and I can only blame it on my mood. I know he doesn’t mean anything by it, and I know if I were serious and wanted to be intimate with either of them, I wouldn’t be denied, but still...

  I hold in the sigh I want to let loose, and instead, put another smile on my face because I could really use a win today. Even if it’s something as silly as a game of chess against my mate.

  “I’m so ready.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jensen

  The rain pours on the roof so hard I swear it’s hail, but according to the weather app on my phone, it’s only heavy rain. I wonder if this is the universe telling me I don’t belong here. This kind of weather is rare this time of year. All of the rain belongs back home, in Seattle. Yet, here it is, following me. Taunting me. Reminding me of the choices I made.

  The sound of rain used to be soothing to me, but something about it tonight has my skin crawling. I barely pay any mind to it when I’m home, probably because I’ve grown so used to it. I can’t hear it late into the night like I can out here, and it has me on edge.

  Something about lying in the dark, listening to the pitter-patter of rain used to be so soothing to my soul. Like a magic fix to whatever sour mood I was in. When did that stop? Was it moving to Seattle and having rain all the time? Or was it because it’s just different out there? Rain in the city is different than rain in the woods. Different vibes, different feel. Hell, it’s even a different sound.

  Maybe my mood can’t be contributed to the rain at all and it’s just the anxiety of knowing I have to go back into the woods tomorrow, and not only risk the chance of seeing Skye, but also seeing Luka or Jordy... or anyone else in the pack because I’m sure they all know I’m here by now. Yes, I knew this was a possibility, but I got cocky in my hiding abilities. I underestimated this damn town, and I shouldn’t have.

  Or maybe my depressing mood is because I have to go to the nest and take pictures of it for someone who probably wants to tear it down and turn it into a public swimming pool where kids and adults alike will piss and vomit in it. The nest is the last place I want to be in the world. Especially after the run-in with Skye today.

  Speaking of, what the hell is up with her name? What’s happened while I was gone? I don’t care what she says, she can change her mind on her name all she wants, but she’s Skye. She’s always been Skye to me, and that’s how she’ll remain.

  She hated Juniper, and calling her anything but Skye was never an option before. It’s why we named the nest, the nest, in the first place. It was named after her.

  Skye was not only a bear, but she was also a fish because of her love for swimming, and then she was a bird who flew high into the sky... Of course, physically she was only a bear, but she sure acted like all sorts of animals, and that area around the lake, where we built the floating dock, became our nest. Our safe place. The place on neutral ground that belongs to everyone, but we found solace in it. The place she and I would run away to be alone when we were younger, when it was just her and me, before it became the place the four of us went to. The nest is special, fucking sacred for Christ’s sakes. How can Norwick expect me to help him plan its destruction?

  This whole trip is a fucking mess. I should go back home and tell Norwick this place is trash and he should look elsewhere, but if he finds out I’m lying, he could ruin me. My reputation is on the line, and if he believes me, I’m losing out on a shit ton of money. It’s a lose-lose situation. In fact, everything about this situation fucking sucks, and I wish the rich prick wouldn’t have asked me to do this in the first place.

  Knowing there is nothing left for me to do, outside of being miserable, I change out of my clothes, staying in my boxer briefs, and climb into the shitty bed and force myself to sleep.

  Thankful the sun is out, I grab a couple pieces of bread and a sleeve of crackers before I leave the room to head into the woods. By the time I reach the bottom floor, the bread is gone and the crackers are open—they’ll be gone by the time I reach the tree line. Realistically, I know I can’t live on this shit for a week, and I’ll have to go to the diner to grab real food, but I sure as hell will eat this garbage as much as I can before I risk my face at that place. Hell, I’d sooner shift into my bear and eat actual garbage with the raccoons than take a seat in that diner.

  I hate eating this processed bullshit, but it’s better than having to socialize with these townspeople who probably wouldn’t hesitate to lynch me. Even those who don’t know me would happily jump on board.

  That’s the thing about these small towns. Word spreads fast and trust runs deep. Skye could say anything to them and they’d believe her without question, not even considering my argument, because I’m an outsider now.

  The ground is muddy, much worse than what it was yesterday. Thankfully the rain has turned into a slow drizzle for now. As I shove the last cracker into my mouth, I pull up the weather app to see if it’s going to rain every damn night I’m here. I groan when the app is filled with grey clouds and raindrops.

  “Of fucking course.”

  And Norwick’s guy will be up here in a few days. I bet he’s a whiney fucker who won’t want to be out in the rain or the mud. He’ll have to suck it up because I’m not staying here any longer than I have to. Waiting for the rain to stop won’t be an option, so he can either come along or stay behind and explain to Norwick that he’s too much of a pussy to get wet.

  God, I hope Skye doesn’t see me with him. I wish she would have listened to me when I tried talking, but I guess I can’t blame her after what fell out of my mouth.

  I talk to people all day long at work, how is it that I forget what words are when I see her? How could I blurt out something so fucking stupid? And why do I even care?

  I hurry into the cover of the trees, worried the sky is going to open up again and try hard to forget where I’m going and just walk. The quicker I get there, the quicker I’ll be done. I don’t want to stay there any longer than I have to. I’ll snap some pictures and then leave. No walks down memory lane, no reminiscing, no nothing. Photos and done.

  I go the long way, wanting to keep my distance from the Blackcreek Pack lands because I don’t want to run into anyone. Not a single fucking person. I was sure to dress in black sweatpants and an olive-green, long-sleeved shirt because I knew I’d be moving through heavy foliage to try and stay hidden. Of course, it won’t work entirely to keep me hidden. Everyone out here are shifters and can probably hear me walking into the woods, but if they don’t see me they won’t stop me and put me on another guilt trip. I hope, anyway.

  My body ignores everything I’m trying to focus on because it knows where I am, knows where I’m going. My heart rate picks up and my hands get sweaty as I come up on the last turn I need to make before it opens up to the nest. Everything in me wants to stop to take a breath, then turn and run tail, but I don’t because that’ll only feed into what I’m feeling and I don’t want to feel it at all. So I push through it and keep going, needing my body to listen to my brain and not my heart.

  I break through the trees and walk out into the clearing that looks exactly as I remember it. Everything looks the same, and even the—fuck. The floating dock is still there. It’s the only thing that looks different. It’s weathered, more than it was six years ago, or however long ago it was when we stopped going to it. The sides are covered in moss and the top looks as if it’s peeling or chipping away. Probably from birds landing on it and who knows what else. Its poor shape tells me no one has been here in a while or at least used it, and that makes me both happy and a little sad. This is a great place and deserves to make people who need it happy. At the same time, I don’t want anyone to mess with the memories we’ve created here.

  Damnit, and I said I wasn’t going to do this. No walks down memory lane, Jensen!

  I swallow past the lump in my throat and force my feet to keep going. The clearing isn’t too big, just enough for there to be some area to walk around the pond, with one side longer and almost beach-like. We have no idea where it came from, considering there aren’t any other small bodies of water close by, but that was what made it even more special.

  As I’m about halfway in, I pull out my phone and open the camera to start taking pictures. I take them from all angles because I don’t want to have to come back here. Do it right the first time and I won’t have to do it again. I move to the edge of the water, stopping just where the end of my shoes touch it. I glance down, whispers of Skye’s laughter floating by like a distant memory. This water holds so many. I grit my teeth and pull my gaze away to get a few angles of the floating dock. Bet Norwick will think it’s stupid, and that just fucking irritates me.

  “What are you doing here?” The voice is followed by a small splash, my phone slipping from my hands in a moment of pure terror. I glance down before dropping to my knees, my pants soaking in the water, and digging around for my phone, completely ignoring the fact I’m no longer alone. “Oh my god, did you just—”

  I bite my tongue, knowing my entire life is on that phone and it’s my biggest concern right now. The stupid town I’m staying in does not have anywhere I can get another phone, so I’m fucked if I can’t get this one back.

  My hands move around the cool water, sliding across the sand gently so as to not dig it deeper or push it further out.

  Skye drops beside me, sliding her hands into the water too, moving just as meticulously as I am. She may hate me, and she may be angry and hurt, but Skye is too nice to be mean. After a few long moments of finding nothing and listening to the water moving around, I pull my hands out, sit back on my haunches and take a breath, closing my eyes tight as I try to calm my nerves.

  Her sweet scent of lavender fills my nose and even with how stressed I am in this moment, it brings me the smallest bit of peace.

  “Jensen,” Skye says softly. I keep my eyes closed and try to stay calm. “Jensen...” she says again.

  “What?” I snap, blinking my eyes open. She’s sitting similarly to me, a heavy frown on her lips, only she’s holding something out towards me.

  My phone.

  I look from it to her, then back to it and yank it from her hand, get to my feet, and move away, giving her my back, as I try to get it to work.

  The screen is black and it won’t turn on. I squeeze it in my hand, my bear growing more and more annoyed, but not for the reasons my human is angry.

  “Jensen.”

  “Skye, please,” I plead. “Stop saying my name like that.”

  Or at all. My name on her lips is torture.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Her voice is quiet and sincere. She really is sorry. She would never, no matter what anyone has ever done to her, purposely do something to hurt them. It’s just not who she is.

  “You don’t need to apologize to me. For anything.” I open my eyes and stare off into the trees but it isn’t enough to distract me from her, wondering what she’s doing behind me. I want to turn and look at her, see the emotions in her eyes, look at all the new curves of her body... I want to stare into those golden eyes and get lost in them. The same way I used to, but that’s no longer a possibility. I made sure of that six years ago.

  “Is it broken?” she asks, sounding closer than she was the last time she spoke.

  “Yeah, I think so.” I let out a frustrated sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose as I realize the photos I just took did not have enough time to load to the cloud. Meaning I’m going to have to fucking come back here. I focus on my breathing, taking deep breaths in and long breaths out. It’s not the end of the world, I can handle this. There’s a solution. I’ll figure it out.

  A small hand rests on my bicep, startling me again but in a different way. I turn my head to my right and my eyes land on Skye’s. She pulls her hand back and glances away for a moment before clearing her throat and looking at me again.

  “I’m sorry I ran off yesterday. I should have listened to what you had to say.” She turns her head again, staring off at the area I’m looking at for no reason other than I’m a coward and can’t look her in the face, no matter how badly I want to. I still see her out of the corner of my eye though, and I fight the urge to get closer to her.

  “How can you do that?” I ask as I turn my head just enough to see her a little better because I truly can’t help myself.

  “Do what?”

  “Be so nice to me.”

  Her lips turn up into a smile, and I wish to the gods above she was staring at me so I could see it fully, and she just simply shrugs.

  “It’s the right thing to do.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Juniper-Skye

  I should have left when I saw him walk into the clearing. I should have, I know that, but I couldn’t. So instead, I did exactly what I shouldn’t have. I went to him. Then I made it even worse by talking to him.

  Not only did he then drop his phone into the lake, but now here we are, inches from one another, having a somewhat normal conversation. Of course, my thoughts are anything but normal and borderline inappropriate, but no one can hear those so it’s okay.

  When I woke up this morning, all the anger I had yesterday was gone. I felt cleansed and new. I don’t know what caused the change, but I’m grateful for it.

  All I want from Jensen is answers. I just want to know why he left. I’m convinced if I can get that, then I can move past this and finally put it all behind me. I thought I had, but I guess it was just a Band-Aid solution, and hadn’t realized it until I saw him again.

  And with the mood I’m in, I think I may just be able to get what I need from him. I’m full of patience today, and that’s always good.

  If I get answers, my wounds will heal and will no longer be held together by a bandage. Jordy and Luka may not be happy about this, but I think if I feel better about it, if I get the answers I want, then they will be happy for me in the end. They’ll understand. They’ll forgive me. Besides, they didn’t actually tell me not to talk to Jensen, and talking isn’t wrong.

  Luka doesn’t think Jensen will give me answers, and I don’t blame him for that because part of me feels the same way. Jensen isn’t who he used to be, and it isn’t just from him being gone for so long. He started changing while he was here, more so after his mother died and his brother started to struggle. It was slow at first, but then all of a sudden it was like I didn’t know who he was anymore. Small things turned into big things. Him being busy one night turned into not seeing him for a week. My heart started to break long before the rejection.