She plunked her purse down in a metal shopping cart, but before she could begin pushing, Nadine grabbed both handles and steered it into the store.

  Bella smiled to herself as she realized Nadine intended for them to share a cart. It made her feel as if they were friends, shopping for their shared household.

  Nadine looked around warily before pushing her sunglasses up to her forehead. Bella prayed no one would recognize Nadine, but she would give sassy Southern-girl hell to anyone who bothered them.

  “What are you going to make?” Bella asked.

  “I thought we’d start simple.” Nadine dropped two packs of chicken into the cart. “Chicken adobo with rice. Most Americans find it palatable. And the ingredients are cheap.”

  Bella grinned. “I love palatable food. And cheap is good.” She scrimped on groceries whenever she could, sometimes surviving on ramen noodles to make it to payday. As a new employee, Nadine’s budget must be even tighter.

  They wandered through the store, picking up the ingredients Nadine needed, plus other essential items. When they reached the breakfast aisle, Bella stopped in front of the Pop-Tarts. “We’re almost out of these, which is weird because I bought a big box of them last week.”

  Nadine looked sheepish. “I may have eaten a few. I admit they are…not terrible. Despite lacking nutritional value.”

  Bella laughed. “Well, since I’ve already corrupted you, let’s pick some new flavors to try. How about s’mores? Oh, and they have strawberry milkshake.” She held up a neon-pink box.

  “Milkshake? Seriously? I see we’re abandoning all pretense that it’s anything but dessert.”

  “Hey, it’s part of a complete breakfast.” Bella tossed both boxes into the cart. “Here, I’ll get some fruit-flavored ones too. For our health.”

  When they reached the checkout counter, Nadine pulled out her wallet.

  “Hey, no. I’ve got it.” Bella dug into her purse. She had decided beforehand that she would pay for the groceries since she obviously had more money.

  “Absolutely not. It’s the very least I can do.” Nadine placed her hand on Bella’s arm. “Please. I want to.”

  “Okay. But I’ll pay next time.”

  “Fine.” Nadine presented her card to the cashier, a bored-looking teenager with black hair, blonde roots, and a shark’s-tooth necklace.

  Bella held her breath, waiting to see if the woman recognized Nadine.

  “Y’all are together?” There was no hint of recognition or judgment.

  “Yes,” Nadine said. “We’re together.”

  Bella liked the sound of those words far too much.

  Chapter 14

  Nadine closed her eyes and inhaled the rich aroma of adobo. God, I’ve missed this. After two years of prison food, then a regular diet of oatmeal and canned soup at Renn House, cooking in a real kitchen unexpectedly caused her to choke up.

  She was glad Bella wasn’t there to witness her tears. She didn’t want to explain. Of course Bella knew she’d gone to prison, but lately the topic made Nadine more self-conscious than usual.

  She dabbed her eyes with a paper towel. I don’t want her to see me as a felon. The rest of the public could fuck off with their scorn and condemnation, but Bella’s opinion mattered to her. And that opinion, inevitably, was shaped by the belief that Nadine had committed a terrible crime.

  I could tell her the truth. The little voice sounded a lot like Patricia. If anyone in her strange new life might believe her, it was Bella.

  But could she take that risk? What if she told the truth and Bella thought it was a desperate, cowardly lie? She couldn’t stand to live there if Bella didn’t believe her.

  Nadine tossed the paper towel into the trash and watched it flutter to the bottom of the can. It’s too late to take it back.

  When the chicken was cooked through, she turned off the burner. A separate pot kept the rice warm. It wasn’t as fluffy as the rice she’d once made in her old cooker, but it would be infinitely better than the soggy instant rice they’d served in prison.

  Nadine stepped into the living room, where Bella was curled up on the couch, immersed in drawing on her iPad.

  Walking up behind Bella, Nadine peered at the iPad. The image was of a young woman with dark hair, thin lips, and a pointy nose. “That’s beautiful. Another commission?”

  “Yep. It’s full color and full body, so I’ll make good money. It’s based on this photo.” Bella tapped the screen and switched to the original image. She had perfectly captured the woman’s features and slight smile while smoothing her skin and accentuating her flowing hair.

  “A remarkable likeness. And quite flattering.”

  Bella laughed. “Hey, it keeps the customers happy.”

  “So we don’t have to eat now, but the food is ready.”

  “Oh, sweet.” Bella closed the cover of her iPad. “I’m ready now, if that’s okay. It smells awesome, and I’m really hungry.”

  They filled their plates in the kitchen and settled onto the couch to eat. Nadine tried not to watch as Bella sampled the dish, but then she snuck a sideways glance.

  “Mmm!” Bella’s eyebrows flew up. “You can really cook!”

  Bella’s reaction was so emphatic that Nadine worried it was an act. “You don’t have to pretend—”

  “I’m not faking. This is great. It tastes like the chicken samples at the food court. You know, the ones that entice you to buy more chicken. It’s just a bit more…I’m not sure how to describe it.” She twirled her fork. “Tangy, almost?”

  “That’s the vinegar. I used less than usual because most Americans aren’t used to the flavor.”

  “Well, it’s good. Seriously. Thank you so much for cooking.” Bella loaded her fork and took another bite.

  “Anytime. I’ve missed it.” Nadine held up a spoonful of rice. “Especially the rice. I’m very picky about how it’s made.”

  They ate in silence for a few minutes until Nadine noticed Bella watching her curiously.

  “Why aren’t you using a knife?” Bella asked.

  Nadine looked down at the fork and spoon on her plate. “This is just what I’m used to.”

  “You weren’t allowed knives in prison?”

  Nadine tensed but decided that the question was asked without judgment. “No, that’s not why. I grew up eating meals with a fork and spoon. It’s just how Filipinos eat—where I’m from, anyway. I can’t speak for the whole country.”

  Bella looked thoughtful. “Do you miss the Philippines?”

  “Sometimes. I miss the food for sure. And my family.” She thought of Patricia holding Miko. “Mostly I miss my sister.”

  “Your sister lives over there? I thought your whole family moved here when you were a kid.”

  “Patricia is my half-sister. We moved here because my mom got a work visa, but my dad… He didn’t like America. He’d been an accountant in the Philippines, but his English wasn’t great, so he could only get hired for manual labor. It was hard for him. He didn’t like that my mom made more money. Anyway, he left when I was a kid and went back to the Philippines. We never had much of a relationship after that.”

  “I’m sorry. That really sucks.”

  “It’s fine.” Nadine lowered her gaze. She didn’t want pity.

  “My dad left too, so I understand. I mean, I don’t know your exact experience, of course, but I know it hurts to feel like you’re not wanted.”

  Nadine looked up, surprised. “When did your father leave?”

  “When I was three. He left Cheriville after he lost his job, and we never heard from him again. Sometimes I’m not even sure if I remember him or if I’m just making up memories from photographs and from what I’ve been told.” Bella shook her head. “Anyway, according to my mom, he’s an addict and a piece of shit, so it’s like, whatever. I don’t even care.” Her lopsided smile told a different story.

  “Still, it’s hard when a parent leaves. I’m sorry we both went through it.” Nadine scooped rice with her spoon. “Did your mom remarry?”

  “Nope. She never even dated after he left. She never said it exactly this way, but I think her marriage was so bad that she’d rather be lonely than deal with a man again.”

  “It was the same with my mom, except she passed away when I was in college.” Nadine stared down at her plate. “It’s funny. It’s been almost two decades, but I still…”

  “Oh God, Nadine.”

  “It’s okay.” Nadine held up her hand, not wanting to go down that road. It was too painful. She took a few breaths, collecting herself. “So we were both raised by single mothers. I didn’t know we had that in common.”

  “Yep. We’re both in the deadbeat dad club. Cheers. And screw them.” Bella raised her glass. “But you said your sister has a different mom. Did your dad remarry?”

  “Not legally. They don’t have divorce over there, but he met someone new and had my sister.”

  “Wait. No divorce at all?” Bella’s eyes widened. “Not for any reason?”

  “Indeed. You can only get an annulment, and it’s a long, expensive process. The Catholic Church has a great deal of influence on family law.” Nadine smiled wryly. “But actual behavior is another story. People just split up and live with new partners.”

  “Wow. Is it, like, really conservative there?”

  “Not as much as you might think. Filipino women can be very independent.”

  “Well, that’s good. Still, if they’re Catholic, they probably wouldn’t like me.” Bella pulled on her hair. “You know, because of the whole gay thing.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. There are gay and trans celebrities, and a lot of Filipinos are fine with it.” Nadine ran a considering gaze over Bella. “I think they’d like you quite a bit.”

  Bella blushed, and Nadine tore her gaze away. Be careful. She couldn’t afford to look at Bella like that.

  It was time to steer the conversation to safer territory. “I also miss Filipino food, the things you can’t buy here.”

  “Oh yeah? Like what?”

  “Tropical fruit. I grew up eating jackfruit, lanzones. We had a mango tree in our backyard, and when I was a kid, I would climb up there and pick one when I was hungry.” She could almost feel the juice running down her chin.

  “I’ve never heard of jackfruit. Or the other one. But we do have mangos.”

  “Mangos are different here. I remember when we first moved to the States, I didn’t understand why American fruit wasn’t as sweet as the fruit back home.”

  “I guess I don’t know what I’m missing.” Bella sounded sad. “I’ll probably never find out. I’ve never been outside the country.”

  “You’re still young. You still have time.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” Bella took another bite. “They speak a different language there, right?”

  “Yes, Filipino. There are many different languages, but that’s the main one.”

  Curiosity glittered in Bella’s eyes. “Can you still speak it?”

  “I can, but not nearly as well as my sister. I came here with a ten-year-old’s vocabulary, so there are a lot of words I don’t know. Or maybe I just don’t remember.”

  Bella grinned. “Can you teach me to say something?”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “I don’t know. Anything. How about hello?”

  “Hmm. For a greeting, it’s most common to say kumusta. It means how are you?”

  “Ka-moo-sta?” It sounded clunky in Bella’s mouth.

  “Kumusta,” Nadine said again, emphasizing the smooth vowels.

  “That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Bella giggled. “Sorry, I have the worst Southern accent. But I’ll try to get better. Maybe you can teach me something every day. Just one word or phrase.”

  Nadine rubbed her chin. “I’m not sure you’d ever use it. Most Filipinos in the US speak English.”

  “But I’d be able to talk to you. Just think, we could talk shit about customers right in front of them.”

  “Sadly, I don’t think that would be wise.” With Nadine’s terrible luck, someone would understand them and complain to Grady.

  “Hmm. Maybe we could say nice things about them, and they would think we’re talking shit. That’s almost better.” Bella winked, and for a moment Nadine forgot to breathe.

  “Well.” She scraped the last bite of food from her plate. “We’ll have to work up to that.”

  “That’s fair. But I want to learn one more word today.” Bella looked around the room, then down at her empty plate. “I’d like to thank you for cooking. How would I say that?”

  “Salamat. It means thank you.”

  “Salamat.” Bella drew out the vowels with a Southern twang.

  “Not bad.” Bella’s pronunciation was awful, but the effort was sincere.

  “Kumusta! Salamat.” Bella beamed. “I’m speaking Filipino!”

  “Yes, you are.” Nadine’s mouth was dry, and once again heat stirred in her belly. Bella’s proximity, her genuine enjoyment of Nadine’s cooking, and her joy at learning Filipino were affecting Nadine in ways that were very wrong.

  Dangerous ito. Be careful.

  Chapter 15

  Bella crammed her clean laundry into an overstuffed dresser drawer. Soon, the clothes would be riddled with wrinkles, but she’d worry about that later.

  Nadine appeared in the doorway. “This really isn’t necessary. There’s no law against having a messy room.”

  “I know.” Bella continued shoving clothes into the drawer. “I just want to make a good impression.”

  “Well, I appreciate that, but she’s looking for drugs, firearms, stuff like that.” Nadine leaned against the doorframe. “So, unless you’ve been leading a double life, I think my probation is safe.”

  Drugs. “Oh my gosh!” Bella jumped up. She pushed past Nadine, sprinted into the kitchen, and flung open a cabinet with a chaotic assortment of bottles and jars.

  Nadine followed her. “What’s wrong?”

  Bella pushed through the spice jars and pulled out a jar of pills labeled in Japanese. “I went on this silly diet one time and bought this sketchy supplement on the internet. Shit, it was like five years ago. What if your probation officer thinks they’re illegal steroids? What if they are illegal steroids?”

  “Bella. Calm down. They’re probably just sugar pills. You don’t have anything illegal.” Nadine sounded totally in control. And yet they both flinched when there was a sharp knock on the door.

  Bella hovered in the living room while Nadine answered the door.

  “Hello,” Nadine said. “Please come in.”

  Nadine’s probation officer strode into the living room and offered Bella her hand. “I’m Michaela Schwartz.”

  Bella’s first reaction was lesbian. Michaela had short hair trimmed crisply at the sides and wore a black men’s shirt over her stocky frame. The deep voice and firm handshake were additional evidence—but then again, Bella’s gaydar had been wrong before.

  “Hello. I’m Bella Clarke.”

  “Relax,” Michaela said, apparently sensing Bella’s nerves. “I’m just going to look around. Nothing too invasive.”

  “Okay. Great. Um, it’s small and kind of messy. But there are absolutely no guns.”

  Michaela’s eyes twinkled. “Good to know.”

  The inspection began in Bella’s bedroom. Bella and Nadine watched from the doorway while Michaela glanced around. While far from perfect, the bedroom looked presentable enough…as long as the drawers stayed closed.

  Michaela seemed more interested in the artwork on the walls than in searching for contraband. “These are great.” She turned to Bella. “Did you draw these?”

  “I did.” Bella twirled a strand of hair. “I’m an amateur artist.”

  “She’s a professional artist,” Nadine said. “People pay for her work.”

  “I’m not surprised.” Michaela smiled at Bella. “You’re very talented.”

  The kitchen was next. Bella couldn’t help squirming at the thought of her sketchy pills, but Michaela didn’t even open the cabinets.

  After a quick tour of the bathroom, Michaela returned to the living room. “You have a lot of books.” She walked over to the shelves and scanned the titles.

  Oh crap. My romance novels. Her damn books were going to out her again, this time to a federal probation officer. While many of the titles were ambiguous, Bella owned a couple of lesbian erotica anthologies with bold titles on the spines.

  Michaela took a step back and turned to Bella with raised eyebrows.

  I’m so busted. But given Michaela’s probable membership in the same club, surely it wouldn’t be a problem…right?

  Michaela glanced between Nadine and Bella. “So you two met at work?”

  “That’s right,” Nadine said.

  “And you’re friends?”

  She thinks we’re fucking. Bella’s cheeks burned. “Um, yes. We’ve become friends.”

  Michaela’s look said don’t bullshit me, but she didn’t comment. Finally, she asked Nadine, “Where do you sleep?”

  “There, on the couch.” Nadine pointed.

  But it didn’t look like anyone slept there. In her effort to create the illusion of a tidy living space, Bella had stashed Nadine’s pillow and blanket in the hall closet.

  “I see.” Michaela studied Nadine. “I’m finished with the inspection. Nadine, could I speak with you outside for a moment?”

  Bella swallowed nervously. Was Nadine in trouble because of her?

  * * *

  Michaela leaned against the porch railing and crossed her arms. “What is your actual relationship with Bella?”

  “I’m not sure what you mean.” Nadine’s thoughts raced. Was this all about Bella’s sapphic novels, or did Michaela have some other reason for suspecting they were more than friends?