“So… nothing ever happened between you two?”

  “Not at first.” Nadine continued to stare at her hands. “Alyssa told me it was okay, that she had feelings for me too. But she said we couldn’t act on our feelings because she was married.”

  “Oh. Well, I guess that’s noble.”

  Nadine laughed bitterly. “Except Alyssa never denied herself anything she wanted, certainly not for moral considerations. But at the time, I believed her. I wanted to believe her.”

  “You think she never really liked you that way?”

  Finally, Nadine looked up. “Alyssa needed me. She needed my loyalty. The night of the Iowa caucus, when she came in third—that was the only time we ever kissed.” Nadine could still see Alyssa’s heart-shaped face, stained with streaks of mascara. Her lips were shiny with gloss, thin and soft. “It was the first time I ever kissed a woman. The way my body reacted…God.” Any lingering doubts about her sexuality had evaporated when their lips had touched. “After that kiss, I would have done anything for her. I suppose that’s why she did it.”

  “Wait, are you saying…?” Bella gasped. “Oh my God. Alyssa asked you to make the deal. The fake campaign contributions. She—”

  “I didn’t say that,” Nadine said quickly. “She didn’t ask me anything that night.” What am I doing? She had no plan, had made no decisions about what to share. With every sentence, she inched closer to the truth, but was she ready for Bella’s reaction?

  Nadine took a breath. “She didn’t ask me that night, but I think on some level, she knew she would need my absolute loyalty in the near future.”

  “Did Alyssa know about the deal? Was she involved? Please just tell me.” Bella’s voice cracked. “Please.”

  It was like standing on a ledge, overwhelmed by how easy it would be to fall. To just say the words.

  “Alyssa knew.”

  Bella clapped her hand to her mouth. “Holy fucking crap. I knew it. Did you tell her what you were planning? Or was it her idea?”

  “It was Alyssa’s idea.”

  “Jesus. She’s just as guilty as you.” Bella sat back. “Why didn’t you tell the feds? You could have gotten a lighter sentence, maybe even immunity.”

  Immunity. The media had speculated for weeks about whether Nadine would seek immunity. “To get a deal like that, I would have had to testify against Alyssa. She would have been finished.”

  “But you could have stayed out of prison.” Bella stared at her in disbelief. “She was guilty, and you never turned on her because you were in love with her?”

  “No. That wasn’t the reason. My feelings…they made it easier. But I took the blame because I didn’t want a white supremacist to be president. I’m sure you remember Rob Gunn’s rallies during the campaign.” Crowds of angry white men had chanted hateful slogans, while wearing rifles and waving Confederate flags. Instead of condemning them, Gunn had defended and encouraged their behavior.

  “I remember. I’ve never been so angry and scared about an election.”

  Nadine nodded. “I knew that if he won, poor people would suffer. Immigrants would be deported, families torn apart. Hate groups would be emboldened. People would die. Plus, his Supreme Court appointments would undo generations of progress. He was that bad.”

  “And that’s exactly what’s happening.”

  “Yes.” The first two years of Gunn’s term had been every bit as horrific as expected. “If the scandal had come out during the primary, another candidate would have won the nomination. But by the time prosecutors figured it out, Alyssa was already the nominee. The general election was only three months away, and I thought…” Nadine rubbed her forehead with her palm.

  “You thought what?” Bella asked.

  How to explain it? “This may sound silly or arrogant, but at the time I thought I was the only one who could stop Gunn from winning the election. That’s why I told them Alyssa had nothing to do with it.”

  Bella stared at her. “That’s…amazing.”

  “But it didn’t work.” Even though prosecutors never charged Alyssa, the scandal tainted her candidacy—enough to flip the swing states to Gunn. “People believed she knew about it.”

  “Well, they were right.”

  “Yes, but…” Nadine paused. “Have you ever heard of Edwin Edwards?”

  Bella frowned. “I don’t think so.”

  “He was the governor of Louisiana in the 1980s, but he lost his reelection bid after he got indicted on corruption charges. Four years later, he ran for governor again, and his opponent was David Duke, the KKK leader.”

  “Whoa. The actual Ku Klux Klan?”

  Nadine nodded. “The election was between a crook and a literal Klansman. But Edwards won, and Duke never became governor. That election year, all over the state, people had bumper stickers that said, Vote for the crook. It’s important.”

  Bella laughed. “That’s great.”

  “It is, isn’t it? Anyway, Alyssa winning the election—it was important.” Nadine sighed. “I love this damn country. It hasn’t been kind to me, but I really do. I would have done anything to spare it from Rob Gunn.”

  “That’s really incredible,” Bella said. “I mean it. Not many people would give up their freedom to try to protect people they don’t even know.”

  “Thank you.” It was a relief to feel even a little understood.

  “But after Alyssa lost, why didn’t you tell the truth?” Bella asked. “Maybe they would have reduced your sentence.”

  “No one would have believed me. I was the most despised woman in America, and I had every reason to lie. And even if people did believe me, they wouldn’t have let me out of prison just for implicating Alyssa.” Nadine hoped Bella would accept this, unlike Patricia. She didn’t need two people hounding her to just tell the truth like it would solve everything.

  “Did your lawyer tell you that?”

  “I am a lawyer.”

  “Oh. Right.” Bella frowned. “So is Alyssa helping you at all now? I mean, she owes you for taking all the blame.”

  “Yes, you’d think that would count for something. But Alyssa can’t risk her career by associating with me. After all, she told everyone that I betrayed her. I’m sure you saw her crying on national television recently.”

  “Oh my gosh, that interview.” Bella groaned. “Now that I know the truth, it’s disgusting. Man, she’s a good actress.”

  “Oscar-worthy,” Nadine agreed.

  “When she kissed you, do you think she was acting? Is she even queer? Or was she just faking so she could use you?”

  Another good question, one Nadine had asked herself many times during her two years in prison. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I’ll ever know.”

  They sat quietly. Then Bella said, “I should let you get settled for real. I’m sure you’re hungry. I had some of your stew for dinner, and I was thinking of having a little more. Want some?”

  “God, yes.” Warm comfort food was exactly what Nadine needed. Along with a stiff drink.

  Bella got up and headed toward the kitchen. Then she turned back. “Nadine? I’m really glad you told me the truth. Thank you for trusting me.”

  “You’re welcome.” A guilty voice in her head reminded her that she hadn’t trusted Bella with the whole truth—that she wasn’t involved in the deal at all.

  Bella would believe me. Nadine was sure of that now. But what would the consequences be?

  Bella was loyal and tenacious. If she knew the whole truth, she’d be incapable of letting it go. She would want Nadine to do something about it—like telling the whole world. She might even do something reckless on her own.

  But accusing Alyssa would only bring Nadine more hatred and trauma. She would rather live with the lies than go through it all again.

  Anyway, telling the truth about the money wouldn’t absolve her of the lies she had already told. It wouldn’t make her worthy of someone like Bella.

  Chapter 25

  Bella finished organizing cookware, then turned the corner to find the bath aisle in shambles. Packages of shower curtains spilled onto the floor, and the bath rugs she had stacked an hour ago were in complete disarray.

  Damn customers. As she crouched to pick up the shower curtains, her phone buzzed in her pocket. She slid it out and found a text from Raelyn.

  Just donated $20 to Alyssa Jackson. It was followed by a grinning emoji and a screenshot of the website’s Thank you for donating! page, featuring Alyssa’s sparkling smile.

  Bella stared at the text message. What could she even say? “Cool. You just gave twenty dollars to Nadine Bayani’s criminal co-conspirator.”

  Raelyn would never believe her. Nadine was right—few people would trust a confessed criminal suddenly changing her story.

  Besides, Bella wasn’t about to betray Nadine’s confidence when she had just learned the truth herself. Nadine hadn’t explicitly told her not to tell anyone about Alyssa’s involvement, but considering that it took months to pry it out of Nadine, Bella figured it was implied. But how was she supposed to talk about Alyssa as if she didn’t know anything?

  Bella had spent three days thinking about everything Nadine had told her, and she had come to an unshakable conclusion: Alyssa Jackson was scum.

  It was one thing for Alyssa to allow Nadine to take the fall “for the good of the country.” Yes, Alyssa would have been a better president than Rob Gunn. Fine.

  But after she lost the election anyway, Alyssa should have helped Nadine. Instead, Nadine had languished in prison for two years while Alyssa, who was just as guilty, remained a US senator and sympathetic figure.

  If anything, what Alyssa did was worse because she had manipulated Nadine into participating. Nadine never would have agreed to execute the scheme if it weren’t for her feelings for Alyssa. Bella was certain of this.

  The woman she knew would never make a corrupt deal for a candidate on her own. Nadine must have done it because she was in love—a love so intense and consuming that she had cast aside her morals to make Alyssa’s dream come true.

  The thought of Nadine having strong feelings for Alyssa made Bella sick. Sure, she was jealous—Bella would give anything to be loved by Nadine—but she was also certain that Alyssa was a sociopath who had never felt a thing for Nadine. It was all about her selfish quest for power.

  What could Bella possibly say about Raelyn’s twenty-dollar donation to a woman who deserved twenty months in a medium-security prison?

  After typing and deleting several responses, she finally sent a thumbs-up emoji. Even that made her want to take a shower.

  * * *

  “Nadine? What was prison like?” The question slipped out before Bella could stop it. She knew Nadine didn’t like to talk about prison, but after an evening of Chinese food and chardonnay, her mouth was ahead of her brain.

  Nadine took a slow, pensive sip of wine.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. You probably don’t like thinking about it.”

  “It’s fine. I don’t blame you for wondering.” Nadine set her glass down. “You sleep in a cage and wake up in a cage. My cell was six by eight feet, and I shared it with another prisoner. There’s no privacy, no dignity. Just endless manual labor.”

  “Labor?” Bella pictured an old-fashioned chain gang. Those were still a thing?

  “Mmm-hmm. People think prisoners sit around all day, but the entire system runs on inmate labor. You work all day for pennies per hour. Cleaning, cooking, laundry, yard work, maintenance. Things like that.”

  Bella nodded. “Oh yeah, I remember that from Orange is the New Black. The prisoners had different work assignments.”

  “Yes. But the guards knew who I was, and they liked to give me the most unpleasant jobs they could find. Scrubbing toilets, that sort of thing. One time a guard made me follow him into the bathroom. He pissed all over the floor right in front of me. Then he made me clean it up while he watched.”

  “Oh Lord. That’s horrible.” Bella cringed as she imagined the scene. Then she remembered Jason pouring coffee all over the floor and ordering Nadine to mop up the spill. He’d probably triggered a traumatic flashback, yet somehow Nadine had kept her cool.

  Bella asked gently, “Did the guards single you out because they were mad about the scandal?”

  “Most of them probably didn’t give a damn about politics.” Nadine’s voice sounded far away. “Of course, they all thought I was guilty. But it was more than that. I was a brown woman with power, and then I was nothing. Certain men—who seem to be overrepresented in the prison guard profession—take pleasure in tormenting someone like me.”

  Bella opened her mouth to offer comforting words, but her mind snagged on something Nadine had said. “Wait. What did you mean just then? You said they thought you were guilty.”

  Nadine’s head jerked up. “I didn’t—that’s not what I meant. They knew I was guilty.”

  “But that’s not what you said. You said it like they were mistaken.”

  “I misspoke.” Nadine looked away.

  Holy shit. Could Nadine be innocent? Like, completely innocent?

  Bella tried to remember exactly what Nadine had said when she’d told her about Alyssa’s involvement. It was her idea. Bella had assumed Alyssa directed Nadine to make the deal with Atlas. But Nadine had never said that explicitly.

  “Nadine, who made the deal with Atlas?”

  Nadine sat back and crossed her arms. “You’re twisting my words.”

  “Forget your words. I am asking you—”

  “Bella, stop.” Nadine’s voice was sharp. “Please stop. I know you want to think of me as a good person, but I’m not. Okay?”

  Bella couldn’t accept this. Not anymore. “Listen to me. You are a good person. You took the fall to save this country from a monster. Just because it didn’t work doesn’t make it any less noble. If you did all of that when you weren’t even involved in the crime, that makes it even more incredible. And you know what? If you were involved, then you made a terrible mistake, but you’re still not a bad person.”

  Nadine’s shoulders sagged. She looked small and vulnerable.

  Bella slid closer on the couch and grasped her hand. “You have been caring and loyal and kind ever since I met you. That’s who you are to me. If you did make the deal with Atlas, then I forgive you. I really do. You served your time. You’ve suffered enough, and I forgive you.”

  With her other hand, Bella touched the side of Nadine’s face. “I know I’m not the sort of person you ever thought you’d be with. I know I’m nothing like Alyssa. But I care about you. I wish you would let me.”

  Nadine pulled her hand away.

  Hurt flooded Bella’s chest. She doesn’t want me.

  Then Nadine wrapped an arm around Bella’s shoulders and pulled her in, capturing her mouth.

  The kiss was intense—possessive. Nadine claimed her with every taste and suck and clash of tongues.

  Bella merely responded, allowing her mouth to be consumed. Warmth pooled in her belly as she slid forward to return the embrace.

  Nadine gripped Bella’s shoulders, and for an awful moment Bella feared she was about to push her away. Instead, Nadine guided her backward until she lay flat on the couch.

  Bella’s heart raced as she gazed up at Nadine’s dilated pupils and swollen lips.

  Nadine descended on her, graceful yet pulsing with power. Her hard body molded to Bella’s soft curves, and with only their shirts between them—neither bothered with bras at home—Nadine’s erect nipples pushed into Bella’s breasts, causing her own to harden.

  Bella whimpered as Nadine trailed soft, potent kisses down her jawline. Heat crept up her neck, and she tensed her thighs to stop her legs from squirming.

  Nadine tugged on Bella’s shirt. “Get rid of this.” She said it as if the shirt’s existence was an affront.

  It’s happening. After slamming into one wall after another, Bella had broken through. But she didn’t want their first time to be on the cramped sofa, with her ass wedged between cushions and their heads bumping the arm. “Wait,” she croaked.

  Nadine drew back, eyes wide and alarmed.

  “Not here.” Bella pushed herself up. “Come to my bed.”

  * * *

  Nadine didn’t want to think. Not about Bella’s questions or the answers that were eating her alive. Certainly not about what they were doing, what a bad idea it was, and what it would all mean tomorrow. Instead, she sank into Bella’s bed with its pile of mismatched pillows and rumpled sheets patterned with roses.

  Bella lifted her T-shirt over her head and fell into bed beside her.

  “Oh.” Nadine lost herself in the vision of Bella’s heavy breasts, soft belly, and full hips.

  Bella shyly covered her stomach with her arm.

  Nadine nudged it away. “Stop that. You’re beautiful.” It was true. Lying on her side, Bella was like a goddess from a painting, her blonde hair cascading in loose waves that moved with her body. Her brown eyes were dark with lust, and only a hint of lipstick remained on her parted lips.

  Nadine traced Bella’s collarbone, then trailed a finger into the valley of her cleavage. She cupped a creamy breast with the slightest squeeze, eliciting a gasp from Bella. She desperately wanted to kiss it—and she was amazed to realize she could. After months of pretending not to notice Bella’s sumptuous breasts, she had permission to touch and taste and worship them.

  “Lie on your back.” Nadine tapped Bella’s shoulder. She wanted access to every inch. When Bella complied, Nadine straddled her. She lowered her lips to Bella’s breast, planting one kiss and then another on the delicate skin. When her tongue reached the hard, pink nipple, Bella’s little gasps became a throaty groan.