“Good.” Nadine nodded. “I’m glad.”

  Bella wanted Nadine to say something like, I know you’re not really racist. But that wasn’t the point. Racial profiling didn’t hurt any less because the perpetrator was ordered to do it. She had to own her actions and do better.

  “Sometimes I wish I could quit.” Bella brushed her hair out of her face.

  “Why don’t you? You’re not planning to stay here another ten years, right?”

  Bella’s shoulders slumped. “I know it’s pathetic that I still work retail—”

  Nadine cut her off. “There’s nothing wrong with retail. It’s hard work, and customer service is a skill like any other. But why do you stay here, at Overstock Oasis, with buffoons like Jason and Grady running the place? Wouldn’t you rather work somewhere more pleasant? Perhaps a grocery store or a bookstore.”

  “Hmm. Maybe.” Bella imagined herself working at Barnes and Noble, recommending novels to the customers. “I guess I could apply, but they probably have better candidates than me. You know, people with education and credentials and more relevant experience.”

  Nadine looked as though she wanted to argue but said nothing.

  Bella pushed the hair out of her face again. “I forgot my hair tie today.”

  “Here. Let me.” Nadine reached over and ran her long fingers through Bella’s unruly strands, smoothing and combing her hair into submission. Then she pulled and crossed sections into the beginnings of a snug braid.

  “Oh, thanks.” Bella relaxed under Nadine’s touch. “How are you? Did you find an apartment?”

  Nadine’s hands stopped moving briefly, then resumed their work. “No.”

  “How many days do you have?”

  “Three.” There was a slight catch in Nadine’s voice, one Bella might have missed before getting to know her.

  “Please stay with me. I’d never forgive myself if you—I mean, I’m not just saying it. I really want you there. Please, you have to say yes.” Stop babbling. Bella didn’t mean to sound desperate, but this was urgent.

  “Maybe… just for a little while,” Nadine said quietly.

  “Really? You’re saying yes? Oh, I’m so glad.” Bella turned to face Nadine with a big smile. “You can stay as long as you want.”

  Nadine gently guided Bella’s head back around and resumed braiding. “I insist on paying my share of the rent, plus, I’ll do my share of the housework.”

  Relief washed through her. Nadine would be safe. “Okay, sure, we’ll work it all out. When will you move in?”

  “On Wednesday, if that’s okay. I have to vacate by five.”

  Bella’s heart jumped. Wednesday was just a couple of days away. “Okay. I’ll get the apartment ready.” She’d have to clean…everything…and get rid of some things to make space. But it would be worth it.

  Ashley burst through the doors. “Oh, there you are,” she said to Bella. “Grady wants you back on the floor.”

  “I’m still on my break. It hasn’t been fifteen minutes yet.”

  Ashley shrugged. “Well, he told me to tell you that, and I did. So, bye!” She turned and left, the doors swinging shut behind her.

  Bella groaned. “I wish I could hide back here with you all day.”

  “I wish you could too.” Nadine finished the braid and draped it over Bella’s shoulder. It tapered to a slim tail that held without a tie. Nadine rested her hand on Bella’s shoulder briefly, then quickly withdrew it.

  Bella struggled for composure after the unexpected contact. “Thank you for the braid. And I’m glad you said yes. You won’t regret it.”

  * * *

  Bella tore through her apartment, frantically collecting empty bottles and dirty dishes. Nadine would be there in less than an hour, and the apartment was still a disaster.

  After living in chaos for years, clutter blended in with the furniture to the point where she no longer noticed it. In her first pass through the apartment, she had missed the bra slung over the sofa and the pile of unopened mail on the TV stand.

  She was exhausted after a full day on her feet, but anxiety powered her last-minute spree. She wanted so badly for Nadine to feel comfortable living there, and she worried that Nadine would be irritated with her poor housekeeping skills—or worse, that she would get sick of Bella’s company.

  Bella stashed items in the closets, wiped down areas with visible dust, and attempted to bring order to crowded surfaces by setting the contents in rows. She was leaning against the kitchen counter, catching her breath, when there was a tentative knock on the door. She ran to open it.

  Nadine stood on the porch with a large duffel slung around her back and another hanging at her side.

  “You’re here! Welcome.”

  “Thank you.” Nadine stepped inside and looked around the small apartment, her expression unreadable. Her gaze landed on the coffee table, where a stray sock still rested.

  Bella snatched it up. Oops. “I was about to get that.”

  Nadine set her bags down. “I really do appreciate this. Like I said, it’s only temporary.”

  “Like I said, you can stay as long as you want. Do you need help unloading the car?”

  “This is all I have.” Nadine pointed to the two bags. “I got rid of most of my things before prison, and since then, I’ve learned the value of minimalism.”

  Bella was the exact opposite of a minimalist. She could never seem to get rid of anything—not because she valued everything she owned but because she loathed cleaning and organizing. She’d rather have a root canal than deal with her things. It was a relief to know she wouldn’t have to cram even more stuff into her closets.

  “Feel free to borrow anything you need. I have enough crap for five people, as you can tell. I tried to clean, but obviously it’s not perfect.”

  Nadine turned to her. “Bella, I’m so grateful for your generosity, I can’t even tell you. Otherwise, I don’t know where I’d be sleeping tonight.”

  Bella almost choked up at the thought of Nadine having nowhere to go, but she composed herself. “Well, I should give you the grand tour. This, as you’ve probably guessed, is the living room, and that’s the kitchen over there. I don’t have room for a dining table, so I just eat on the couch. It’s kind of…yeah.”

  She led the way to her bedroom, which had received far less attention in her hour of cleaning. “And this is my room. It’s still a mess, as you can see.”

  Nadine’s mouth twitched.

  “What? Is something funny?”

  “Oh, nothing. It’s just very girly.”

  Nadine had a point. The bedspread was solid pink with a ruffled trim, and a curtain of glittery beads hung over the window. The walls were adorned with colorful images of flowers and women—Bella’s own artwork.

  Nadine studied a sketch of a unicorn hanging on the closet door. The mythical creature pranced in a lush meadow under a wide rainbow.

  Bella felt heat seep into her cheeks. Nadine must think I have the taste of a twelve-year-old. “I don’t draw unicorns anymore. I made that one in high school.”

  “You drew all of these?” Nadine stepped closer to examine the unicorn.

  “Yeah.” Bella twisted a strand of hair between her fingers.

  “You told me about the commissions, but I didn’t realize… These are really good. I mean it. You’re talented.” Nadine turned to look at a monochrome sketch of a woman hugging her knees.

  “Thanks.” Bella felt her face grow even hotter. She couldn’t help it. Nadine’s praise made her insides turn mushy. “Really, thank you so much.”

  “Have you ever thought about pursuing a career in the arts? Maybe graphic design?”

  Bella looked away. She had planned to major in graphic design until she flunked out of college. “No.” She turned to step out of the bedroom. “Anyway, the bathroom is over here.”

  * * *

  Bella made tacos for dinner. It was nothing fancy—just ground beef, a packet of Tex-Mex seasoning, and shells—but she knew she could make it without screwing up, and that was her top priority. She wanted to be a good host on their first night as roommates.

  When Bella emerged from the kitchen with a plate of food, Nadine was studying the bookshelves.

  “You read a lot.” Nadine pulled out a novel and turned it over to scan the back cover.

  Bella froze as she recognized the book—a lesbian romance novel. In fact, the entire shelf was crammed with lesbian fiction, most with incriminating artwork on the covers.

  Oh shit. Bella had been so worried about tidying up her mess that she’d completely forgotten about her books. She tried to read Nadine’s reaction. If only she could go back in time and stash them under the bed, not that she planned to avoid the conversation forever, but—

  “Are you gay?” Nadine’s eyes were free of condemnation yet loaded, like the answer mattered.

  Bella worried she might not have hidden her attraction as well as she had hoped. “Yes, I am. Is that okay?”

  “Of course it’s okay.” Nadine sounded oddly stern. “There’s nothing wrong with being gay.” She returned the book to the shelf. “I’m just surprised I didn’t already know.”

  “Oh.” Bella tried to think of something to say but drew a blank. She set the food on the coffee table.

  “So you’re in the closet.”

  “What?” Bella shook her head. “No. I am not in the closet. My friends know. My mom knows. I’m just not friends with anyone at work. Kenny would try to save my soul, and Ashley’s a blabbermouth. As for Grady and Jason, I’d rather drink gasoline than tell them about my personal life.”

  Bella realized what she had said. “I didn’t mean that you’re not my friend. You are. In fact, you’re the only friend I have at the store right now. I just didn’t tell you because…” Bella hesitated. How to explain without freaking her out?

  “What?”

  “Because I wanted us to be friends. And I didn’t want you to think I was, you know, some predatory lesbian who would come on to you.”

  Nadine frowned. “Predatory is the last word I would associate with you.”

  “Thanks. Um, it’s good we got that out of the way. Now I don’t have to worry about you finding out.”

  “Well, good.” Nadine looked at the food. “Thank you again for cooking.”

  “Oh, sure. What do you want to drink?” Bella strove for a casual tone. “I’ve got water, soda, beer, and just about every kind of liquor—but I should warn you it’s not exactly top-shelf.”

  “Liquor?” Nadine perked up. “Do you have tequila?”

  “I do. I’ve even got limes. Be right back.” Bella was relieved to have a moment to herself as she processed coming out to Nadine.

  It went fine. Still, Bella couldn’t shake the feeling that Nadine was unsettled for some reason, despite her reassuring words. Maybe she was one of those liberals who said all the right things but had never really known a lesbian.

  Sure, Nadine was attractive. What gay girl wouldn’t be drawn to her strong and sexy body, her intense brown eyes, and her hair that was always slightly mussed? Plus, she was smart as hell and had once been a formidable player in national politics—as evidenced by the cable news clips Bella had watched more times than she cared to admit. So, yeah, the woman was hot. But that didn’t mean Bella couldn’t control herself.

  She resolved to be as respectful as possible while they shared the apartment. No lingering stares or walking around in her underwear. She would show Nadine they could be friends and roommates without her sexual orientation becoming an issue.

  Bella sliced the lime, grabbed the bottle and two shot glasses, and took everything into the living room.

  Nadine examined the label. “I’ve had worse.” She sat on the couch and poured them each a generous shot.

  Bella sat next to her. She thought about asking if Nadine had ever made prison hooch, as she had seen on Orange is the New Black, but decided it wasn’t the right time. She raised her glass. “To new roommates?”

  “Roommates? That’s a nice euphemism for my situation.” Nadine’s tone was bitter, but then she softened. “But, yes, I’ll drink to that.”

  They clinked their glasses together. Nadine tilted her head and downed the shot in one swallow.

  Bella took a sip and grimaced. She usually only drank tequila blended with margarita mix. Not wanting to lose the moment, though, she braced herself and swallowed the rest of the shot. Her throat stung.

  “So what’s it like to be gay in Cheriville?” Nadine asked after a few bites of her taco. “I can’t imagine it’s fun.”

  “Oh, it’s not that bad. At least not anymore. Things changed really fast, and now most people don’t think it’s a big deal. Sometimes I got depressed in high school because a lot of my classmates were homophobic. But I kept my mouth shut, and no one ever guessed that I was gay. Just like no one ever guesses now.”

  “You’re certainly not obvious. You’re very—” Nadine drew circles in the air as she searched for the word.

  “Femme? Lipstick lesbian? Yeah, I’ve always been girly. I can’t help it. I had one short haircut in my life, and I hated it.” She shuddered at the memory. “Sometimes I wish I looked more obvious so I could scare away the likes of Todd—but I have to be myself.”

  “It’s important to be yourself. When you try to hide who you really are, there may be temporary advantages, but it can also be damaging.” Nadine looked off into the distance, sadness passing over her face.

  Bella said gently, “I bet you miss being a lawyer. And your old life. I mean, this isn’t you at all.”

  “I do miss my old life. I certainly miss the money. But the person I used to be—well, that wasn’t entirely me either.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Nadine pressed her lips together. “Nothing. So you grew up in Cheriville?”

  “Yeah.” Bella finished off her taco. “My mom is a secretary at the elementary school. I grew up ten minutes from here, and I’ve never lived anywhere else. Well, except for my one year at Mary Washington.”

  “What was college like?” Nadine asked carefully.

  Bella knew what she was really asking. Why did you drop out? “It was, you know, Fredericksburg, Virginia. A truck-stop-slash-college town. There wasn’t much to do there except study and drink. I was in PRISM—that’s the queer student organization—and they had parties every weekend. I had never been around so many gay people before. That’s where I met my first girlfriend. We were together for most of freshman year, but then I had to leave school.”

  Bella took a deep breath, then said in a rush, “I didn’t flunk out because I partied too much, if that’s what you’re thinking.” It seemed important to clarify this fact. “I only went to parties on Fridays. And I didn’t even drink that much. I just…” She searched for the right words. “It was like I had this mental block. I’d sit there with the book open, but I couldn’t make myself read it. I procrastinated for hours and wrote my papers at the last minute.”

  “Do you think it was anxiety?” Nadine asked.

  “I mean, that was definitely part of it.” Bella looked down at her empty plate. “My teachers in high school were really supportive. They knew I was trying, and they accepted late work from me all the time. But in college, it’s easy to get lost. Like, no one even makes you go to class. And when I got behind, I couldn’t deal with it. I couldn’t face my professors. I ended up withdrawing from half of my classes.” Even a decade later, she couldn’t talk about it without feeling ashamed.

  “Anyway,” Bella said, “I had to pass 70 percent of my classes to keep my financial aid. I didn’t realize that withdrawing from classes counted against you. I got an academic progress warning after the first semester, and then, after the second semester, I lost my eligibility for aid.”

  Nadine nodded. “And that’s why you never went back?”

  “Yeah. Without financial aid, my mom couldn’t afford tuition. She doesn’t make much money, and my dad…couldn’t help. So I started working at Overstock Oasis. The original plan was to save enough to pay for a semester out of pocket, get my grades up, and get back on financial aid. But it hasn’t worked out yet.”

  “Because of the money?”

  “Yeah, that’s part of it. It’s hard to save when I make so little. Something always happens, like my car breaks down, and I have to start over.” Bella picked at the crumbs on her plate. “Selling my drawings helps, but even when I manage to save some money, part of me doesn’t feel ready. Like, what if the same thing happens again?”

  “Well—”

  “Look, I know what you’re going to say,” Bella said. “It’s not too late. Why not try again, finish the degree, get out of Cheriville. I’m wasting my life at Overstock Oasis. I know that. I just… I already know.”

  Nadine’s lips curved. “You’re right. I was going to say it’s not too late.” She paused. “But I won’t.”

  “Thanks.” Bella attempted a smile.

  Nadine leaned back, her plate still on her lap. “I’m glad you told me. About college, about your, uh, preferences. I’m glad for the chance to get to know you better.”

  Bella couldn’t help wondering why Nadine wanted to get to know someone like her, a college dropout who had never left Virginia. Maybe Nadine was merely being kind to the one person at the store who had befriended her.

  But something in Nadine’s eyes made it seem as if she genuinely cared. The thought made Bella feel warm and a little woozy. Or maybe that one shot of tequila was one too many.

  Chapter 12

  Nadine awoke to the smell of coffee and an unfamiliar pattern of light on the ceiling. It took her a moment to remember where she was and why.