With divers liquors! O, if this were seen,

  The happiest youth, viewing his progress through –

  What perils past, what crosses to ensue –

  55

  Would shut the book and sit him down and die!

  ’Tis not ten years gone

  Since Richard and Northumberland, great friends,

  Did feast together, and in two year after

  Were they at wars. It is but eight years since

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  This Percy was the man nearest my soul,

  Who like a brother toiled in my affairs

  And laid his love and life under my foot;

  Yea, for my sake, even to the eyes of Richard

  Gave him defiance. But which of you was by –

  65

  [to Warwick] You, cousin Neville, as I may remember –

  When Richard, with his eye brimful of tears,

  Then checked and rated by Northumberland,

  Did speak these words, now proved a prophecy?

  ‘Northumberland, thou ladder by the which

  70

  My cousin Bolingbroke ascends my throne’ –

  Though then, God knows, I had no such intent,

  But that necessity so bowed the state

  That I and greatness were compelled to kiss –

  ‘The time shall come’, thus did he follow it,

  75

  ‘The time will come that foul sin, gathering head,

  Shall break into corruption’ – so went on,

  Foretelling this same time’s condition

  And the division of our amity.

  WARWICK

  There is a history in all men’s lives

  80

  Figuring the natures of the times deceased,

  The which observed, a man may prophesy

  With a near aim of the main chance of things

  As yet not come to life, who in their seeds

  And weak beginning lie intreasured.

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  Such things become the hatch and brood of time;

  And by the necessary form of this

  King Richard might create a perfect guess

  That great Northumberland, then false to him,

  Would of that seed grow to greater falseness,

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  Which should not find a ground to root upon

  Unless on you.

  KING Are these things then necessities?

  Then let us meet them like necessities,

  And that same word even now cries out on us.

  They say the Bishop and Northumberland

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  Are fifty thousand strong.

  WARWICK It cannot be, my lord.

  Rumour doth double, like the voice and echo,

  The numbers of the feared. Please it your grace

  To go to bed. Upon my soul, my lord,

  The powers that you already have sent forth

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  Shall bring this prize in very easily.

  To comfort you the more, I have received

  A certain instance that Glendower is dead.

  Your majesty hath been this fortnight ill,

  And these unseasoned hours perforce must add

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  Unto your sickness.

  KING I will take your counsel;

  And were these inward wars once out of hand,

  We would, dear lords, unto the Holy Land.

  3.2

  Enter Justice SHALLOW and Justice SILENCE.

  SHALLOW Come on, come on, come on; give me your

  hand, sir, give me your hand, sir. An early stirrer, by

  the rood! And how doth my good cousin Silence?

  SILENCE Good morrow, good cousin Shallow.

  SHALLOW And how doth my cousin your bedfellow?

  5

  And your fairest daughter and mine, my god-

  daughter Ellen?

  SILENCE Alas, a black woosel, cousin Shallow.

  SHALLOW By yea and no, sir. I dare say my cousin

  William is become a good scholar. He is at Oxford

  10

  still, is he not?

  SILENCE Indeed, sir, to my cost.

  SHALLOW ’A must then to the Inns a’Court shortly.

  I was once of Clement’s Inn, where I think they will

  talk of mad Shallow yet.

  15

  SILENCE You were called lusty Shallow then, cousin.

  SHALLOW By the mass, I was called anything; and I

  would have done anything indeed, too – and roundly,

  too. There was I, and little John Doyt of Staffordshire,

  and black George Barnes, and Francis Pickbone, and

  20

  Will Squele, a Cotsole man: you had not four such

  swinge-bucklers in all the Inns a’Court again! And I

  may say to you, we knew where the bona robas were

  and had the best of them at commandment. Then was

  Jack Falstaff – now Sir John – a boy, and page to

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  Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Norfolk.

  SILENCE This Sir John, cousin, that comes hither anon

  about soldiers?

  SHALLOW The same Sir John, the very same. I see him

  break Scoggin’s head at the court gate when ’a was a

  30

  crack not thus high; and the very same day did I fight

  with one Samson Stockfish, a fruiterer, behind Gray’s

  Inn. Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I have spent! And

  to see how many of my old acquaintance are dead.

  SILENCE We shall all follow, cousin.

  35

  SHALLOW Certain, ’tis certain; very sure, very sure.

  Death, as the psalmist saith, is certain to all; all shall

  die. How a good yoke of bullocks at FStamfordF fair?

  SILENCE By my troth, I was not there.

  SHALLOW Death is certain. Is old Dooble of your town

  40

  living yet?

  SILENCE Dead, sir.

  SHALLOW Jesu, Jesu, dead! ’A drew a good bow, and

  dead? ’A shot a fine shoot. John a’Gaunt loved him

  well and betted much money on his head. Dead!

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  ’A would have clapped i’th’ clout at twelve score

  and carried you a forehand shaft FatF fourteen and

  fourteen and a half, that it would have done a man’s

  heart good to see. How a score of ewes now?

  SILENCE Thereafter as they be; a score of good ewes

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  may be worth ten pounds.

  SHALLOW And is old Dooble dead?

  SILENCE Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men, as

  I think.

  Enter BARDOLPH and one with him.

  Good morrow, honest gentlemen.

  55

  BARDOLPH I beseech you, which is Justice Shallow?

  SHALLOW I am Robert Shallow, sir, a poor esquire of

  this county and one of the King’s justices of the

  peace. What is your good pleasure with me?

  BARDOLPH My captain, sir, commends him to you:

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  my captain Sir John Falstaff – a tall gentleman, by

  heaven, and a most gallant leader.

  SHALLOW He greets me well, sir. I knew him a good

  backsword man. How doth the good knight? May

  I ask how my lady his wife doth?

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  BARDOLPH Sir, pardon; a soldier is better

  FaccommodatedF than with a wife.

  SHALLOW It is well said, in faith, sir, and it is well said

  indeed, too: ‘better accommodated’ – it is good; yea,

  indeed is it. Good phrases are surely, and ever were,

  70

  very commendable. ‘Accommodated’: it comes of

  accommodo. Very good, a good phrase.

  BARDOLPH Pardon, sir, I have heard the word. Phrase,

  you call it? By this day, I know not the phrase; but I

  will maintain the word with my sword to be a soldier-

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  like word and a word of exceeding good command,

  by heaven! ‘Accommodated’: that is, when a man is,

  as they say, accommodated, or when a man is being

  whereby ’a may be thought to be accommodated,

  which is an excellent thing.

  80

  Enter FALSTAFF.

  SHALLOW It is very just. Look, here comes good Sir

  John! – Give me your good hand, give me your

  worship’s good hand! By my troth, you like well and

  bear your years very well. Welcome, good Sir John!

  FALSTAFF I am glad to see you well, good Master

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  Robert Shallow. [to Silence] Master Soccard, as

  I think?

  SHALLOW No, Sir John, it is my cousin Silence, in

  commission with me.

  FALSTAFF Good Master Silence, it well befits you

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  should be of the peace.

  SILENCE Your good worship is welcome.

  FALSTAFF Fie, this is hot weather, gentlemen! Have you

  provided me here half a dozen sufficient men?

  SHALLOW Marry, we have, sir. Will you sit?

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  FALSTAFF [Sits.] Let me see them, I beseech you.

  SHALLOW Where’s the roll? Where’s the roll? Where’s

  the roll? Let me see, let me see, let me see: so, so, so,

  so, so, so, so. Yea, marry, sir. Rafe Mouldy! Let them

  appear as I call; let them do so, let them do so. Let

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  me see. Where is Mouldy?

  [Enter MOULDY.]

  MOULDY Here, an’t please you.

  SHALLOW What think you, Sir John? A good-limbed

  fellow, young, strong and of good friends.

  FALSTAFF Is thy name Mouldy?

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  MOULDY Yea, an’t please you.

  FALSTAFF ’Tis the more time thou wert used.

  SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha! Most excellent, i’faith: things

  that are mouldy lack use! Very singular good; in

  faith, well said, Sir John, very well said.

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  FFALSTAFF Prick him.F

  MOULDY I was pricked well enough before, and you

  could have let me alone. My old dame will be undone

  now for one to do her husbandry and her drudgery.

  You need not to have pricked me. There are other

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  men fitter to go out than I.

  FALSTAFF Go to! Peace, Mouldy. You shall go, Mouldy.

  It is time you were spent.

  MOULDY Spent?

  SHALLOW Peace, fellow, peace! Stand aside. Know you

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  where you are? – For th’other, Sir John, let me see

  Simon Shadow.

  FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let me have him to sit under. He’s

  like to be a cold soldier.

  SHALLOW Where’s Shadow?

  125

  [Enter SHADOW.]

  SHADOW Here, sir.

  FALSTAFF Shadow, whose son art thou?

  SHADOW My mother’s son, sir.

  FALSTAFF Thy mother’s son! Like enough, and thy

  father’s shadow; so the son of the female is the

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  shadow of the male. It is often so indeed, but much

  of the father’s substance.

  SHALLOW Do you like him, Sir John?

  FALSTAFF Shadow will serve for summer. Prick him,

  for we have a number of shadows fill up the muster

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  book.

  SHALLOW Thomas Wart!

  FALSTAFF Where’s he?

  [Enter WART.]

  WART Here, sir.

  FALSTAFF Is thy name Wart?

  140

  WART Yea, sir.

  FALSTAFF Thou art a very ragged wart.

  SHALLOW Shall I prick him, Sir John?

  FALSTAFF It were superfluous, for FhisF apparel is built

  upon his back, and the whole frame stands upon pins.

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  Prick him no more.

  SHALLOW Ha, ha, ha! You can do it, sir, you can do it!

  I commend you well. – Francis Feeble!

  [Enter FEEBLE.]

  FEEBLE Here, sir.

  SHALLOW What trade art thou, Feeble?

  150

  FEEBLE A woman’s tailor, sir.

  SHALLOW Shall I prick him, sir?

  FALSTAFF You may; but if he had been a man’s tailor,

  he’d a’ pricked you. [to Feeble] Wilt thou make as

  many holes in an enemy’s battle as thou hast done in

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  a woman’s petticoat?

  FEEBLE I will do my good will, sir; you can have no

  more.

  FALSTAFF Well said, good woman’s tailor! Well said,

  courageous Feeble! Thou wilt be as valiant as the

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  wrathful dove or most magnanimous mouse. –

  Prick the woman’s tailor well, Master Shallow, deep

  Master Shallow.

  FEEBLE I would Wart might have gone, sir.

  FALSTAFF I would thou wert a man’s tailor, that thou

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  mightst mend him and make him fit to go. I cannot

  put him to a private soldier, that is the leader of

  so many thousands. Let that suffice, most forcible

  Feeble.

  FEEBLE It shall suffice, sir.

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  FALSTAFF I am bound to thee, reverend Feeble. – Who

  is next?

  SHALLOW Peter Bullcalf o’th’ green.

  FALSTAFF Yea, marry, let’s see Bullcalf.

  [Enter BULLCALF.]

  BULLCALF Here, sir.

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  FALSTAFF ’Fore God, a likely fellow! Come, prick

  Bullcalf till he roar again.

  BULLCALF O Lord, good my lord captain –

  FALSTAFF What, dost thou roar before thou art pricked?

  BULLCALF O Lord, sir, I am a diseased man!

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  FALSTAFF What disease hast thou?

  BULLCALF A whoreson cold, sir; a cough, sir, which

  I caught with ringing in the King’s affairs upon his

  coronation day, sir.

  FALSTAFF Come, thou shalt go to the wars in a gown.

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  We will have away thy cold, and I will take such

  order that thy friends shall ring for thee. – Is here all?

  SHALLOW Here is two more called than your number.

  You must have but four here, sir; and so I pray you

  go in with me to dinner.

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  FALSTAFF Come, I will go drink with you, but I cannot

  tarry dinner. I am glad to see you, by my troth, Master

  Shallow.

  SHALLOW O Sir John, do you remember since we lay

  all night in the Windmill in Saint George’s Field?