243 thick … mustard thick means dense and is thus pejorative when applied to Poins’s wit. Tewkesbury mustard, however, was as famous for its sharp taste as for its texture: Tilley cites a proverbial simile at odds with Falstaff’s usage: ‘He’s as sharp, as if he liv’d upon Tewksbury-Mustard’ (M1333).

  244 conceit imagination, wit (OED sb. 8d)

  mallet heavy wooden hammer, figuratively associated with mental dullness. Compare ‘As dull as a beetle’ (Tilley, B220); a beetle, a large mallet, is mentioned at 1.2.227, and also in TS 4.1.144: ‘beetle-headed … knave’.

  246 both … bigness the same size. Before the advent of trousers, the size of one’s calf was important to men of fashion and was emphasized by the choice of stocking. Cf. 2.2.14–16.

  247 plays at quoits a game in which quoits (see 192n.) were thrown into a ring, the object being to come as close as possible to hitting a stake in the ground, much as in a game of horseshoes (OED sb. 2). Here begins Falstaff’s comic itemization of all those self-indulgent behaviours for which the Prince enjoys Poins. The expressions are a catalogue of tavern and brothel cant.

  conger and fennel sea-eel (cf. 55n.) seasoned with fennel to make it digestible. Unless well cooked, conger was thought to blunt the wits – another crack at Poins’s lack of intelligence. Cf. 1 Oldcastle, 4.24: ‘I could eat this conger’.

  248 drinks … flap-dragons Poins participates in foolishly risky tavern games; flap-dragons were flaming objects – here, lighted candle wicks – afloat on liquor which the drinker, to prove his dexterity, had either to dodge or, in Poins’s case, to dowse in his mouth (drink off). As Cowl (Ard1) observes, the dangers of such behaviour are recorded by W.R. in A Match at Midnight 2.1: ‘our Flemish corporal was lately choked at Delft with a flap-dragon’ (Dodsley, 13.44).

  249 rides … mare an allusion to one of two different games: either see-saw or, more likely, a variant on leap-frog, ‘wherein the person who acts the mare, slides over the shoulders of several others, who are linked together; and is strapped with leathern aprons, and the like, while he is getting over’ (Wright, Dictionary, mare sb.2 1). Falstaff has earlier used the phrase as a bawdy metaphor for fornication: see 2.1.75–7.

  249–50 jumps upon joint-stools indulges in rowdy behaviour at taverns. A joint-stool was made of parts joined together; to jump over one was taken as a sign of high spirits, as in Middleton’s Chaste Maid in Cheapside: ‘when you come to your inn, if you leaped over a joint-stool or two, ’twere not amiss; (Aside) – although you break your neck, sir’ (3.3.122–4).

  250 swears … grace is adept at profanity; good grace meaning both (1) proficiency and (2) God’s grace

  251 smooth … Leg tight-fitting like the boot on the sign over a boot-maker’s shop called the Leg. Poins, apparently vain about his calves, wears boots to show them off: cf. 246n.

  252 breeds … stories causes no offence (OED bate sb. = strife, discord) by telling pointless tales about people. Although Falstaff may mean precisely what he says, he probably means the opposite, that Poins delights his companions with slanderous gossip, discreet stories being those that ought to be kept private.

  253 gambol faculties frivolous inclinations

  255 admits i.e. to his company

  257 haber de poiz Falstaff’s anglicized pronunciation of the French avoirdupois, meaning weight or degree of heaviness (OED sb. 3)

  242 wit’s] Q; Wit is F 243 There’s] Q; there is F 245 does] Q; doth F 247 ’a] Q; hee F

  258 nave … wheel hub of a wheel: a pun on Falstaff’s knavery (nave) and an allusion to his girth (wheel)

  258–9 ears cut off ‘A Star Chamber penalty for defaming royalty’ (Winstanley, cited in Ard2)

  260 before in front of

  261 whe’er archaic contraction of ‘whether’

  withered elder shrivelled old man, or sapless elder tree. The suggestion of sexual impotence becomes explicit at 263–4. Cf. similar references to Falstaff as an apple-john (3–8) and a dead elm (335).

  262 poll clawed hair tousled (by Doll), with a play on poll/‘Poll’ as the name of a parrot

  250 joint-stools] QF (ioynd-stooles) 251 boots] Q; Boot F 253 ’a has] Q; hee hath F 256 a hair] Q; an hayre F the] F; not in Q 257 haber de poiz] Q, F (Haber-de-pois); avoirdupois Var ’03 260 Let’s] Q; Let vs F 261 whe’er] Neilson; where Q; if F 265 SD] Capell; not in QF

  266 Saturn … conjunction The Prince mocks Doll and Falstaff’s relationship with a play on conjunction as (1) an astrological term for the apparent proximity of two planets which, when viewed from the earth, appear to overlap, and (2) a term for sexual intercourse. The reference to Saturn and Venus is satiric because the two planets are almost never in conjunction, and in mythology they are opposite in temper: Saturn, patriarch of the gods, is cold and morose in his old age; Venus, goddess of love, hot and libidinous.

  267 th’almanac then, as now, a cheaply printed book widely read for making astrological predictions

  268 fiery trigon an astrological name sneeringly given to Bardolph to mock his burning complexion and red nose. The twelve signs of the Zodiac were divided into four groups of three (trigon = a triangle), of which the fiery trigon, hot and dry, included Aries, Leo and Sagittarius. For similar references to Bardolph’s complexion, see 333, 336–8, and 2.2.72–89 passim.

  269 lisping whispering sweet nothings. During the conversation between Doll and Falstaff, Bardolph has apparently taken the Hostess aside for an intimate conversation. Sexual liaisons at the tavern seem to be more casual than committed: Falstaff has promised to marry the Hostess yet carries on with Doll through the Hostess’s good offices; Bardolph here appears to be courting the Hostess, yet by H5 she will have married Pistol.

  269–70 old … counsel-keeper phrases which define Falstaff’s deep and long-standing friendship with the Hostess. She has served as his tables (tablets, possibly used for recording assignations) and notebook (akin to a private diary), and in both instances has been his counsel-keeper (confidante). That she is old distinguishes her from Doll.

  271 flattering busses insincere kisses

  275–6 a … all any boy. For scurvy, see 123n.

  277 What … of? ‘What material would you like your gown to be made of?’ A kirtle was a bodice and skirt worn over the petticoats and farthingale.

  267 th’almanac] Q; the Almanack F 269 master’s] F (Masters); master, Q 272 By my troth] Q; Nay truely F 277 wilt] Q; wilt thou F

  277, 278 wilt, shalt In Q, ‘thou’ is the implied subject for each verb; F provides it.

  279 A merry song! probably a comment on the song being played (228 SD) rather than a request for a new one

  281 an if

  282–3 Prove … return Doll urges a trial of her constancy: ‘Witness (Prove) whether I’ll wear attractive clothes, and thus entice other men, in your absence.’

  283 hearken a’th’ end proverbial for ‘judge by the outcome’, and a variant of the Latin respice finem (Dent, ‘Mark the end’, E125; cf. Ecclesiastes, 7.36); cf. CE 4.4.41. Doll enjoins Falstaff to wait until his return to judge her fidelity, though the line may carry a secondary injunction to listen to the end of the piece of music, following Falstaff’s comment on the music at 279.

  285 Anon, anon, sir! The Prince and Poins mimic the answer Francis invariably gives when called: see 16n. In answering Falstaff’s call, they presumably do not need to doff their aprons and jerkins for him to identify them – the only time in Shakespeare when persons who have disguised themselves are instantly recognized.

  287 Poins his brother archaic form of the possessive: Poins’s brother and lookalike, a companion to the bastard son of the King who resembles the Prince (286).

  288 globe … continents an allusion to Falstaff’s girth, but also to his universality: cf. 1H4 2.4.466–7: ‘Banish plump Jack and banish all the world’. Falstaff’s universality, however, is of the fallen variety: his sinful continents not only refer to the geography of his body, but play on three other meanings as well: receptacles for sin (‘continent’ = container); sinful contents (‘continent’ = what is contained); and, oxymoronically, ‘continence’, its homophone and a virtue at odds with sin.

  278 a’Thursday] Q (a Thursday); on Thursday F shalt] Q; thou shalt F 279 we’ll] Q (weele); wee will F 280 Thou’t] Q; Thou wilt F 281 By my troth] Q; not in F thou’t] Q; Thou wilt F an] Q (and); if F 283 a’th’] Q; the F 285 SD] Capell; not in QF 287 Poins his] Poynes his Q; Poines, his F

  292–3 to … ears with a pun on what drawers do: to stretch out by the ears as a form of torture, or to drag to the gallows – a punishment for traitors (OED draw v. 87c, 4). Cf. 258–9n.

  296 come from Wales Cf. references to the King’s Welsh campaign at 1.2.104–5, 1.3.79–83 and 2.1.133–4.

  297 compound mass, lump

  298 by … blood Attempting to divert attention from himself to Doll, who perhaps sits on his knee, Falstaff ‘jokingly extends the common oath by this light by adding flesh and blood’ (Delius). As a result, light becomes an adjective meaning promiscuous and modifies this – that is, her – flesh; and corrupt blood may refer to the diseases Doll is said to carry: cf. 42–7. Doll’s retort at 300 is understandably contemptuous.

  302 merriment comic jest

  302–3 if … heat ‘if you don’t strike while the iron is hot’ – a metaphor from the blacksmith’s forge (Craig). Cf. KL 1.1.309: ‘We must do something, and i’ the heat’.

  304 candle-mine a heap of tallow for making candles: an allusion to Falstaff’s fat. Cf. 1.2.159–60 and 1H4 2.4.220–1: ‘thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch’.

  306 honest … gentlewoman chaste, moral, polite and well-bred woman. The Prince contradicts Falstaff and speaks courteously of Doll, though perhaps with tongue in cheek, both here and at 330. For comparable uses of these terms, see 89 (civil), 91 (honest) and 2.2.151 (gentlewoman).

  294 grace] Q; good Grace F By my troth,] Q; not in F 295 the Lord] Q; Heauen F 296 O Jesu] Q; what F 298 light flesh] F; light, flesh, Q SD] this edn; Leaning his hand upon Dol. / Rowe 301 SD] Oxf1 subst. 304 SD] Oxf1 305 vilely] F3–4; vildly QF1–2 me] Q; me euen F 307 God’s blessing of] Q; ‘Blessing on F

  310–11 1you … Hill an allusion to Falstaff’s comic exposure in 1H4 when, to excuse his cowardly behaviour during the Gad’s Hill robbery, he claims to have recognized that the Prince was his assailant: ‘By the Lord, I knew ye as well as he that made ye’ (2.4.259–60). Falstaff makes no such claim here.

  318 Not … 1me Not carries over the negative from Falstaff’s previous line, so the meaning is, ‘You intended no abuse in disparaging me?’

  322, 327 Ned a nickname for Poins by which Falstaff, cornered, attempts to ingratiate himself; used also by the Prince at 2.2.135, 154 and 173

  323 the wicked parody of the Puritan idiom – the wicked being the reprobate or infidels – by which Falstaff attempts to flatter the Prince as one of the elect and distance himself from his tavern companions. His method is akin to claiming that he was a coward ‘on instinct’ at Gad’s Hill because, as a lion, he would never harm the ‘true prince’ (1H4 2.4.260–6). Falstaff’s excuse is a pale echo of his bravura self-justification in 1H4, however. He uses the same strategy of turning lies to advantage by flattery, but here the strategy is telescoped, the joke quickly passes and Falstaff does not expect to be believed. His use of Puritan terms may be a residue of his earlier incarnation as Oldcastle. Cf. 1.2.36, 2.2.128n., and his confession to being ‘little better than one of the wicked’ in 1H4 1.2.91.

  324 with thee Falstaff turns from speaking to Poins about Harry – I dispraised him (323) – to address Harry directly. Since the sentence continues in the second person (thy father, 326), F’s ‘with him’ is a less sensible option. See a similar shift of address at 2.1.72–5.

  326 is to should

  329 entire unalloyed, pure (OED adj. 6b)

  331 to close with in order to pacify (OED close v. 14)

  Is … wicked? The Prince may speak only partly in earnest, for by Puritan standards, the denizens of the tavern would all be among (of) the wicked, their souls unregenerate. His use of words such as virtuous (330) and honest (333) is ironic; cf. 306n.

  333 zeal Burning zeal was a Puritan virtue, but here it is reduced to the red glow of Bardolph’s nose. Cf. 268n. and Dekker, If This Be Not a Good Play, 5.4.262: ‘’Tis a burning zeal must consume the wicked’ (Dramatic, 3.210).

  335 dead elm an image of old age and decay: cf. withered elder at 261. Shakespeare twice uses ‘elm’ for a man to whom a woman clings – CE 2.2.174: ‘thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine’, and MND 4.1.42–3: ‘the female ivy so / Enrings the barky fingers of the elm’ – though the implication here is that Falstaff is no longer of service to women. The topos of the elm and vine is traditional: see Demetz.

  309 SD] Oxf1 subst. 310 Yea] Q; Yes F 317 a’mine] Q (a mine); on mine F 319 bread-chipper] Q; Bread-chopper F 322 i’th’] Q; in the F 323 SD] Sisson subst.; not in QF 324 thee] Q; him F

  336–7 pricked … irrecoverable listed Bardolph in his book as unredeemable. ‘To prick’ meant to make a mark next to a name on a list (OED v. 14, 15); Falstaff uses it in this sense during the recruitment scene at Justice Shallow’s farm (3.2.111–79 passim). For the legend of the devil’s book, see 2.2.43–4n. Falstaff continues to play on the Puritan notion that the souls of his companions are reprobate.

  337 Lucifer’s privy kitchen the devil’s private kitchen, i.e. hell, extending the Prince’s joke about the inflammation in Bardolph’s face (333). Occurring only once in Scripture, Lucifer is the name used to compare Nebuchadnezzar with the morning star (Isaiah, 14.12); but by Shakespeare’s time ‘the title “Lucifer” was mistakenly applied to Satan’ (Shaheen, 165).

  338 he … malt-worms he (Lucifer) spends all his time punishing (roasting) lovers of malt liquor – drunkards such as Bardolph. The antecedent for he is ambiguous, but in context it would make no sense if Bardolph were doing the roasting.

  327 faith] Q; not in F 329 entire] Q (intire), F 332 thy] Q; the F

  339–40 there … too an image from Morality plays, in which the figure of mankind is caught in a tug-of-war between allegorical good and evil; about = hovering near

  340 *blinds Most editors are dissatisfied with both the Q and F verbs, and some offer substitutions of their own, recorded in the t.n.; but Q’s reading is defensible – the devil blinds the boy (too = like everyone else) to the good angel’s presence. Shaheen cites as a source 2 Corinthians, 4.4 – ‘The God of this worlde hath blinded the minds … of the infidels’ – arguing that ‘the cluster of biblical references that follow one another in rapid succession’ within these lines suggests that the Q reading is correct (History, 165). Sisson would alter Q to read ‘but the devil blinds him to’t’, reasoning that Q’s too is a ‘graphically plausible error’ for a MS ‘to’t’ (Readings, 48) – an alteration which would more pointedly identify Falstaff as the good angel (339) to whose presence the devil blinds the boy. Falstaff may indeed imply that he himself is the boy’s good angel, in contrast to the Lord Chief Justice’s accusing him of being the Prince’s ill angel at 1.2.165.

  343 burns poor souls a reference to Doll, implying that she both damns (burns) the souls of her clients by practising her profession and infects (burns) those clients with sexually transmitted diseases (OED v. 14e)

  344 damned for that Lending money at interest, or usury, was condemned as a sin, especially and most hypocritically by Puritans; but Falstaff is once again muddling the notion of culpability, for the Hostess has not charged him interest on his loans, and he has no intention of paying them back.

  346–7 quit for that either (1) acquitted of the sin of usury, or (2) cleared of the debt I owe you (because it will never be repaid)

  347 indictment upon charge brought against

  348–9 suffering … law i.e. allowing meat to be consumed at your tavern when doing so was prohibited during Lent; or metaphorically, running a brothel. ‘Eating flesh’ was a euphemism for fornicating with prostitutes: cf. MM, in which the Duke is called ‘a fleshmonger’ (5.1.331). The sale of meat during Lent was forbidden by law, though the law was honoured more in the breach than in the observance. In frustration, the Privy Council issued a proclamation in 1588, and nearly every year thereafter, that ‘her Maiesties pleasure is, vpon her vnderstanding of the great disorders heretofore and especially the last Lent committed in killing and eating flesh in the time of Lent’, that innkeepers be fined a hundred pounds – a huge sum – for serving meat to any customers except those especially licensed to eat it (Dyson).

  339–40 devil blinds] Q; Deuill outbids F; devil’s behind (Cam1); devil bloats (W. Walker); devil attends Ard2; devil binds Davison; devil bids Oxf1; devil brands (GWW conj.) 342 she’s] Q (shees); shee is F 343 th’other] Q; the other F

  350 howl suffer at the hands of the law; or biblically, suffer the tortures of the damned

  351–2 These lines are a wonderful expression of the Hostess’s moral laxity. As usual, she understands only the literal meaning of Falstaff’s words; and while she intends to admit to a minor infringement of the Lenten law, she in fact confirms the more serious charge of running a brothel with unintentional double entendres: vict’lers (owners of eating establishments) also means bawds; a joint of mutton, a whore; and fasting during Lent, sexual abstinence. For further use of mutton as slang for a prostitute, see TGV 1.1.94–6 and MM 3.2.174–6.

  355–6 Falstaff’s allegation has two possible meanings: (1) the Prince feels revulsion at calling a whore a gentlewoman; or, (2) especially given the sexual significance of flesh at 348, the Prince pays her a courtesy at odds with his desire for her. The contrast between his spiritual grace and fleshly lust may spring from Galatians, 5.17: ‘For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh’. For earlier puns on grace, see 1.2.28–9 and 1H4 1.2.15–17; and for a similar play on fleshly rebellion, see MV 3.1.31–2: ‘JEW My own flesh and blood to rebel! SALANIO Out upon it, old carrion, rebels it at these years?’