“What did she do to you?”

  Esther pressed her lips together hard. “She did a lot.”

  “That doesn’t tell me anything, Esther.”

  “I know.” Guilt swam in Esther’s stomach. “She was very controlling, which I was okay with because that was how I grew up. Strict rules, follow them or face severe consequences. I didn’t break the rules, and I didn’t with Carlisle either. In some ways, I enjoyed her rules. They let me know exactly where I stood with her.”

  “Until when?”

  Esther raised her chin to look Melanie in the eye. “Until the rules didn’t make sense anymore. Until I decided it was time to end the relationship.”

  “Then what happened?” Melanie curled her arm under Esther’s and clasped her hand with both of hers, silently saying she was there, to listen, to be, to know.

  Esther struggled to find the words. “She wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

  Melanie stayed quiet for a second too long, and panic welled in Esther’s chest.

  “She didn’t…nothing sexual happened with her, but she did follow me everywhere, tried to change my mind. She did it for the rest of the school year until Carissa convinced me to get a restraining order. The school was helpful with that, but…I don’t know…it seemed to shock some sense into her.”

  “So she stopped then?”

  “She stopped because Skip threatened her.”

  “Oh.” Melanie raised her eyebrows and tightened her hold on Esther’s arm.

  “Yeah. I traded one psycho ex for a narcissistic one.”

  “You said nothing sexual happened with her, but the way you said it…” Melanie trailed off, and Esther knew exactly what she wanted to know.

  Her heart beat so hard that it hurt, but she did nod slightly. “There were times with Skip when it felt not right, unwanted, but I was with him, so I never thought too much beyond that.”

  “Oh, Esther.” Melanie curled her fingers around Esther’s cheeks and lifted her chin so slightly to look into her gaze. “That is awful, both of those things—people—are awful. None of it is your fault.”

  “I know,” Esther murmured. “Years of therapy have helped with that, but the result is one very anxious woman who struggles to sleep alone at night and who doesn’t take risks.”

  “I think you take risks.”

  “I don’t. I take very calculated steps that are necessary.”

  Melanie gave a small smile. “You chose to have Anthony. That’s a risk.”

  “I chose to give birth to a baby who was an accident.”

  “Yes, but you chose to love him, to be a good parent to him, the best parent you can be.” Melanie squeezed Esther’s fingers tightly. “You chose to leave Skip.”

  Esther gave a wry chuckle. “Yes, a lot of good that’s done me. I’m still stuck with him for life.”

  “You may be, but I imagine you and Anthony are much happier without him in your every day.”

  “He is in my every day,” Esther whispered. “I can’t get rid of him. Not physical-him, but here.” She pointed to her head. “He’s always here, questioning, accusing, spinning what I think and feel.”

  “But you chose to leave him, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you can make that decision again. It’ll take practice, I know. It’s not easy to move beyond someone who is so traumatizing and controlling, but you can. You did it with Carlisle.”

  Tears welled in Esther’s eyes, and she shook her head as they threatened to fall. “No, no, I didn’t with Carlisle. She finally made the decision to leave me alone, found someone else to control and pester. I became a thing of her past, but she’s not in mine.”

  “Come here.” Melanie tugged Esther into her side and settled Esther’s head on her shoulder.

  Esther breathed in Melanie’s scent, a hint of spice underlying the smooth fresh laundered smell of her jacket. She closed her eyes, reveling in Melanie’s warmth and understanding. She didn’t want to give this up.

  Melanie’s heart was breaking. She held onto Esther tightly, resisting the urge to rock back and forth, to cradle her even more than she was, but God, this woman just needed someone to love her without conditions, and it seemed the only person who had succeeded in that was her sister. That was a tragedy. From the outside it looked as though Esther had been given everything in life, but she had been deprived of so much.

  Dropping a kiss into Esther’s hair, Melanie held her as long as she could. She didn’t want to let go. She wanted this Esther to believe in herself again, that she was worthy of someone who would love her wholly and completely. Everyone deserved that. They sat in silence, snowflakes falling around them and on them, melting into their skin and hair and clothes.

  It was such a warm snowfall, one of her favorite kinds, the kind she loved to take long walks in. Long walks that tonight had turned short and led her right here, right to this hurting woman. Melanie dropped a second kiss into Esther’s hair, then rested her cheek against the crown of Esther’s head as she wrapped an arm around her back and squeezed.

  They stayed there for what felt like an hour, but Melanie knew better. Silence always seemed longer than it actually was. Eventually she shifted, and Esther moved to look at her. The tears were completely gone, but to Melanie’s surprise, the walls were not back in place. Reaching out, Melanie curled Esther’s hair behind her ear and then dropped her hand into her own lap to give them each some space.

  “I’m so glad you told me,” Melanie whispered, keeping their gazes locked. “Really, I am.”

  “I am, too.” Esther’s lips curled up slightly. “I haven’t told anyone that much in years.”

  “And I’m betting no one but Carissa and your therapist.”

  “Yeah.” Esther set her mug onto the cement stoop next to her and out of reach. It was likely cold by that point anyway. Melanie had no idea how long Esther had been sitting out there before she had stumbled upon her. “Thank you for listening.”

  “Anytime, and I really mean that, Esther. I like you, not just that way, but yes that way, but I like who you are, what you’ve let me see of you.”

  Esther’s face was unreadable, and Melanie worried she had said something wrong. She hadn’t meant to turn the conversation toward them, so she backtracked and moved in a different direction.

  “Being a grandparent is fun, you know. I get to spoil them rotten and not have to worry about it.”

  “I’m sure Ella will lean on you for help.”

  “Yeah. I’ll let her move home if she wants to, but somewhere deep inside me, I’m really hoping she doesn’t. I don’t want to end up raising her kid because she thinks she can’t do it.”

  “It’s a fine line to walk,” Esther answered. “You’ll have to figure out where the line is.”

  “That’s what I’m working on. She’s so much stronger than she knows.” Melanie looked directly into Esther’s eyes, hoping that Esther understood the underlying message that she wasn’t only talking about Ella at that moment.

  “She is,” Esther agreed. “You just have to keep reminding her of that. She’s lucky to have you.”

  “I’m lucky to have them. All of them. I never… I’m not sure I would have had kids without them. I love teaching, but I never found someone I wanted a family with, not when I was young anyway. And, I don’t know, I feel like I’m rambling.”

  “Maybe you weren’t being honest with yourself back then.”

  “About my sexuality? That’s for damn sure.” Melanie chuckled. “I wish I had figured it out sooner. It may have made a world of difference. You know, Avery figured it out. That girl is ridiculously observant. It’s annoying sometimes.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Melanie rolled her eyes, but then she turned to look at Esther, wanting to see her reaction. “The other night, Thanksgiving, when we were walking back and she wanted to talk to me, she asked why I was flirting with you all night. I hadn’t even noticed, honestly. Then Saturday she got in my face about you again.”

  “Really?”

  “She’s got a mouth on her. I’m sure it’ll get her into even more trouble than it already has, but yes. If it wasn’t for her bluntness, I’m not sure I would have ever considered it.”

  “Considered what?”

  “You.” Melanie pressed her lips together tightly, hoping that would get some kind of reaction from Esther, something to tell her one way or the other where they stood with each other. It was so hard to step back into the dating sphere, but then to do it with someone who was so difficult to read was another adventure in and of itself.

  “I won’t, Melanie. Not right now. Please.” Esther sounded broken, lost.

  “I know. But it is because of you that I am thinking about it, that I am wondering what I’ve been missing out on for most of my life.”

  “Broken hearts?”

  Melanie snorted. “Maybe.”

  “Crazy ex-girlfriends?”

  “That, too. Gosh, what life might have been like.”

  Esther bumped her shoulder lightly with a smile on her lips. “I don’t believe in thinking about what-ifs of the past.”

  “You don’t?”

  “No, because life is what it is, and I don’t like regrets.”

  “Don’t you regret Carlisle and Skip?”

  “I can’t because if I hadn’t been with Carlisle, I wouldn’t have met Skip—or rather, I wouldn’t have been so caught up with him and the knight-in-bright-shining-armor look he had at the time. And if I didn’t have Skip—”

  “Then you wouldn’t have Anthony,” Melanie finished for her.

  “Exactly, and I can’t imagine life without him.”

  “Me either,” Melanie answered honestly. “He really is a special kid.”

  “I love him so much,” Esther whispered.

  “I know you do.”

  They sat in silence a little longer, the snowfall getting heavier by the minute. Melanie glanced at her watch and was surprised to find hours had passed sitting on Esther’s front stoop. It was close to midnight. Grabbing Esther’s hand, Melanie squeezed her fingers tightly.

  “I’ve got to go home before I freeze my butt to your steps.”

  Esther laughed, the trill of her voice catching in Melanie’s heart.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Melanie whispered.

  “See you,” Esther answered.

  Without another word, Melanie pushed to stand, her joints protesting the cold and the movement at the same time. She sent Esther a long look before she nodded and walked down the path to the sidewalk and home. She’d never been more glad that she’d decided to take a walk in the snow.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Melanie!” Chris’ voice reached her from the end of the hall, and she stopped short on her walk down to her classroom from the door where she’d just let her kids go.

  Spinning around, Melanie waited a second to see if Chris was going to come to her or if she was going there. Luckily, Melanie was able to stay put. They hadn’t talked much since Thanksgiving, and Chris was bound to have some questions since normally they talked almost daily, but Melanie had been so caught up in trying to figure out what she was feeling about Esther before she told anyone else that she’d neglected her best friend.

  “Got a minute?” Chris asked as soon as she was next to her.

  “Yeah. I was just about to tidy up.”

  “Good.”

  Chris walked with her down the rest of the hall to her classroom. When they reached her door, Melanie looked up and spied Esther staring her down. Heat rose to her cheeks as she looked back, hoping to give as good as she could get on the intense look she was receiving, but she wasn’t sure she managed it. Esther raised an eyebrow before twisting sharply into her classroom and shutting the door.

  Sighing lightly, Melanie followed Chris inside but left her door open. She preferred the bustle of people to the stillness of silence like Esther did, and she wanted to use the noise as her distraction for whatever conversation was about to come up.

  “You’ll have a new student Monday.”

  “Oh?” Melanie was intrigued. They didn’t often get new students in the middle of the year, but it wasn’t uncommon either. “What’s their name?”

  “Dot. Her family is moving in from Nebraska.”

  “Okay.” Melanie picked up some items there were left on the tables. “I’ll figure out a place for her to sit and get her situated.”

  “Good.”

  Melanie paused, glancing over Chris. “Is that the only reason you came here?”

  “No.” Chris shook her head and crossed her arms. “I needed to get out of the office. Linda is driving me crazy today.”

  Chuckling, Melanie smiled. “She can do that.”

  “She’s just insisting everything be done and ready before the break, which is fine. I get it, but we still have two weeks of school left before the break starts, and we just got back from the last one. Like give me a second to breathe before we run sixty miles a second again.”

  Melanie’s eyes crinkled. “When’s your next vacation?”

  Chris glowered.

  “Right, exactly my point. You should take one. You’ve had one hell of a couple years with Andry and the divorce and Katie moving out. Don’t you think you should take some time?”

  “I’m the principal of an elementary school. I can’t just leave—”

  “Not for weeks, Chris. But a day, maybe two. You need to do something to get your head on straight and back in the game so you’re not scarring poor Linda with your antics.”

  “My antics!” Chris’ tone raised in pitch, and she pressed a hand to her chest as if she was offended. “It’s her—”

  “Chris.” Melanie cut her off. “The door is open.”

  Scowling, Chris walked over and shut it. Melanie supposed that took care of one problem she hadn’t anticipated. She guessed they were now going to talk about things prying ears shouldn’t hear, which she was somewhat glad about. She wanted to tell Chris everything, spill it all and let the pieces fall where they may, but in some ways, this didn’t only involve her. She could only share about her part, but Chris wasn’t stupid, and she’d put it together sooner or later.

  “She has got attitude today,” Chris started. “I told her before she left today that tomorrow she needs to come back different otherwise I’m writing her up.”

  Melanie stiffened. “She was that bad today?”

  “It wasn’t pleasant in the office. I almost did a class visitation just to get out of being in there, but I couldn’t mess with my schedule that much unless there was an emergency.”

  “That’s bad.”

  “I know.” Chris’ dark eyes widened, then she relaxed and let out a deep breath. “It’s okay. Tomorrow is a different day, we’ll both get some sleep tonight, and tomorrow will be much better.”

  “You know that Christmas Eve is the anniversary of her son’s death, right? You remember that?”

  Chris stopped sharply. “I forgot. It’s five years this year, isn’t it?”

  “I think so.” Melanie watched her carefully. “Maybe her attitude doesn’t have so much to do with you as it does that.”

  “You’re probably right.” Chris wrinkled her nose before relaxing even more. “I should probably have thought of that.”

  “You’ve been a bit busy in your own life.”

  “Yes, that.” Chris rolled her eyes. “Katie wants Christmas day at Andry’s.”

  “Chris.” Melanie felt so much for her best friend. Divorces were not easy for anyone, and the splitting of the kids was even harder.

  Chris put her hands up. “I’ll be fine. I promise. I want her to do what she wants. Really, I do, but it’s so damn hard.”

  “It is.” Melanie touched Chris’ shoulder. “You’ll get through this. I promise.”

  “It just sucks.”

  “Yeah, it does.” Melanie felt for her friend.

  Chris pursed her lips then crossed her arms. “How’s everything going with Esther? With mentoring?”

  “Oh.” Melanie’s cheeks heated, and she turned so she wasn’t facing Chris fully. If she was, she worried what Chris would read into that. “It’s going well.”

  “Mel?”

  “It is. We’re getting along well, finally, and she’s coming to me about things she wasn’t before. I think we’ve moved into the friendship level of mentoring now.” She still refused to look at Chris, messing with papers on her desk to avoid turning around.

  Chris, however, didn’t buy any of it. “Is that why you’ve been quiet all of a sudden?”

  Guilt hit Melanie hard. She had been too quiet. Chris needed her support, and instead, she’d avoided her. “A bit, yes. I’m sorry. Did you use my new student as an excuse to come talk to me?”

  “Maybe.”

  Melanie grinned and faced her friend. “Then ask away. Let’s talk.”

  “I don’t have much time. I mainly needed to get out of the office. But yes, Mel, you’ve been quiet. It had me worried a bit.”

  Sitting on the edge of her desk, Melanie crossed her hands on her knee. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I had some stuff I needed to work out, and Ella had her first ultrasound.”

  “Did she? How did it go?”

  “Great. She’s got one peanut in there, got some extra medicine for her nausea, but Esther gave her peppermint oil and that seems to be helping a lot.”

  “Peppermint oil?”

  Melanie shrugged. “Don’t ask me. But it worked like magic.”

  “Go figure. So you two have been getting close?”

  “We only live two blocks from each other. Figured that out on Halloween when they went trick-or-treating. So yes, I’ve been to her place a few times, and since Anthony wasn’t with her for Thanksgiving I invited her over, like I do with everyone.”

  Chris’ gaze narrowed. “I know you invite everyone.”

  “Right.” Melanie awkwardly shifted. “So, she came, and we got to talking, and Ella was there, and that’s how the peppermint thing came up.”