“It is if certain things are happening.”

  “And are there?” Melanie pushed, knowing Avery was just trying to get her point across.

  Pouting, Avery shook her head. “No.”

  “Exactly my point. Leave Anthony’s father out of the conversation unless it’s in a supportive manner.”

  “Noted,” Avery snarked as she went back to her coffee.

  Jeremy, however, still looked sincerely at Melanie. She stared at him back, wondering what was going through his mind. “Are you sure you want to get involved in something so complicated?”

  Melanie had asked herself that once, but then she quickly realized everyone was complicated. If she wanted to date someone, then she wanted someone she was interested in being with along with all the complications they brought to the table. It wasn’t like she didn’t have her own baggage.

  “Yes,” Melanie answered. “But for now we’re just friends, nothing more.”

  “But you want more?” he asked.

  “Eventually, if that’s what she wants. In fact, I was thinking I’d go visit her today if you two can keep out of trouble.”

  Avery’s bright look worried her slightly. Any time Jeremy and Avery were left together for too long, something usually happened.

  “What are you planning, Ave?”

  “A little something for Ella. Becky can’t do it now, so I guess it falls to me.”

  “What falls to you?”

  “Baby shopping.” She grinned. “If I’m going to be an auntie again, I’m going to spoil this kid.”

  “Get a job first,” Melanie challenged. “Then you can spend all the money you want on the baby.”

  Avery frowned. The job thing was something Melanie had talked to her about repeatedly, and yet Avery still hadn’t found one. She’d let up on it for the last few days, but it was time to get Avery back into searching for some sort of income.

  “Noted. But for the record, I think you should go over to Esther’s today.”

  “Do I get the sense you want me out of the house?”

  Avery shrugged. “Maybe. Ella and Becky are leaving tomorrow, and I want some gaming time with my big brother here who I never get to see.”

  “What happened to baby shopping?”

  “No money. So, Diablo?” Avery turned to Jeremy for the last question.

  “You’re on.” The two of them scrambled out of their chairs and headed for the living room and the game console Avery had brought home from school. Melanie smiled as she listened to their banter.

  She took her time getting ready that morning, making everyone breakfast and enjoying having the entire family under the same roof. By the time ten in the morning came around, she knew she could slip out and not be missed. Melanie grabbed her jacket and winked at Avery as she stepped out the front door.

  “Melanie, what are you doing here?”

  “Can I come in?” Melanie shivered.

  Esther nodded and opened the door wider for her. The house was warm compared to the chill outside, and when Esther shut the door, she was glad to block the cold out again. She’d kept the curtains closed since Christmas Eve, not wanting to see outside but to dwell in her own self-pity.

  “I need to apologize,” Melanie started as she shucked her jacket and dropped it over the back of the sofa as had become her norm.

  “What on earth for?” Esther crossed her arms, her stomach twisting at just the thought of what Melanie might be sorry for. They hadn’t had an argument. They hadn’t picked at each other. Melanie hadn’t done anything wrong, and Esther honestly couldn’t fathom what it was.

  Melanie gave a sheepish look. “I should have invited you over yesterday. You never mentioned it, but somewhere in the back of my mind I knew you were going to be alone, and I should have invited you over.”

  “I wouldn’t have come,” Esther answered honestly. “Holidays like this are for family.”

  “See, that’s the thing.” Melanie looked her directly in the eye. “I’ve learned over the years that family doesn’t mean immediate family, and oftentimes, more than not, it means friends and the people we care about.”

  Esther sucked in a breath before clenching her jaw tightly. She couldn’t quite fathom what Melanie was saying, but it felt uncomfortable. The last time she’d seen Melanie had been intense, the conversation full of ditches and potholes she had tried to avoid but had landed in so many times she’d been flat on her ass.

  “And I care about you,” Melanie whispered as she stepped in closer. “So it makes sense that I would invite you for dinner and that you would accept. Next time, all right?”

  “Okay,” Esther answered, feeling a bit stupid. She had been thrown back into the trauma memories from the night they were at The Office, then jerked back into the present reality of the moment too quickly. It wasn’t easy for her to play catch up.

  “Good, so I’m here today because I figured you would be missing Anthony and mopey and lonely, so I’m crashing your house.”

  Esther furrowed her brow, very confused by Melanie’s presence. Most of the times when she’d come over it had been because Melanie needed something or because she was curious about what went on. Esther hadn’t been oblivious to that, but to have Melanie there solely for her benefit was odd.

  “Did you eat breakfast yet?”

  “I had coffee,” Esther responded. “I don’t really eat breakfast.”

  “Why does that not surprise me?” Melanie let out a light laugh. “Then what are we going to do today?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean we can hang out and watch television all day if you want or we can do something. It’s your choice.”

  “I…” Esther trailed off, looking from Melanie to the front door to the rest of her house. She had a list of projects she had wanted to get done, but she wouldn’t subject Melanie to any of them. Clamping her jaw shut tightly, Esther looked at Melanie so confused and lost in the moment. She’d never had someone do this for her. They always wanted something from the moment, wanted something from her.

  Melanie stepped in closer, concern in her gaze. “Are you okay?”

  “I just…” Esther stopped again, still not sure what to say. Finally, she took a deep breath and shook her head. “I’ve just never had anyone do that for me.”

  “What? Come to your house for quality time?”

  Esther frowned because the word on the tip of her tongue would make it sound like her life was awful, but it really was what she felt. Taking the risk, she shared. “Care.”

  “You’ve…” Melanie trailed off, that concern that had been in her eyes coming in full force now. She reached up and wrapped her arms around Esther, dragging her in for a hug. “Well, I do care. I promise you that.”

  “Thanks,” Esther muttered into Melanie’s shoulder. This time, she moved her arms around Melanie’s back and squeezed, ducking her chin and burrowing in closer. She drew in a deep breath, Melanie’s scent hitting her hard. Her entire body eased, releasing the stress that had come up. “I don’t know why this year without Anthony is so much harder than before.”

  “Does Skip always get Christmas day?”

  Esther nodded. “Yeah, we’re supposed to alternate, but I hate fighting with him on it. The day of the week doesn’t matter to me so long as I get to celebrate with Anthony.”

  “You should fight for it if you want to. You deserve those days with him, too.”

  “I know.” Esther pulled away and moved to sit on the couch, patting the cushion next to her for Melanie to join. “Want to watch a movie? I usually watch White Christmas every year, but I haven’t had the energy for it yet.”

  “Absolutely.” Melanie rounded the couch and plopped down.

  They finished the movie in silence, but Esther knew they would have to eat soon. Except she had hardly any food in the house since she’d bought light that week. Melanie followed her into the kitchen, a hand on her waist as she stared into the nearly empty fridge.

  “Hmm,” Melanie started. “Do you just want to order something?”

  “Probably best.”

  “Then it’s my pick and I’ll pay.”

  Relief trickled through her as she let Melanie control that portion of their day. She started water for more coffee, needing at least two more cups before she’d switch to tea, and Melanie glanced at the coffee pot appreciatively when she finished her order.

  “It should be about thirty minutes.”

  “Good.”

  “Esther,” Melanie said but stopped short. “Never mind.”

  “No, what did you want to say?” Esther leaned her against the kitchen counter, eyeing Melanie up and down. She looked nearly perfect standing in the kitchen in worn jeans, old T-shirt, and with her hair clearly brushed but not done up any other way. It was adorable.

  “That.” Melanie pointed at her.

  “What?” Confused, Esther shook her head.

  “That look. We need to talk about that look.”

  “What look?”

  Melanie frowned. “Like you want to eat me up.”

  “Oh.” Heat rushed into Esther’s cheeks. She hadn’t realized she’d been so obvious. “Well, I do believe I told you before that I’ve thought about it.”

  Groaning lightly, Melanie kept her distance. “And you told me that now was not the time, then you keep looking at me like that, and I don’t know what to do with you.”

  “What do you want to do with me?”

  “Everything,” Melanie answered honestly, nothing hidden in her tone or face.

  Esther sucked in a ragged breath, echoing the same sentiment, though she wasn’t sure she could say it. “I’m not sure it’s wise.”

  “Then tell me what’s holding you back, please. Because I’m a patient woman, trust me on that one. I have four kids I raised and I teach kindergarten, but I do need to know why I’m being patient.”

  Esther bit her lip, looking Melanie up and down again. There was no denying the physical attraction she felt. That had been there for a long time, but that was something she could ignore easily enough. What she struggled to avoid was the emotional intimacy, the connection the two of them shared that went beyond sex. It was the small things, like a quick touch here or there, the gentle comments and support when she needed them, the space to speak freely about her experiences, the random days she showed up when Esther needed someone the most even though Melanie couldn’t have known that.

  “I do like you,” Esther’s voice dropped to barely above a whisper. “I’ve felt more connected with you than I have with anyone before.”

  Melanie’s lips quirked upward at that.

  “But I’m scared, and that’s why I’m reserved.”

  “What scares you about me?”

  “Nothing about you.” Esther’s eyes crinkled as the smile lit up her face. “You are honestly nearly perfect.”

  “Then what is holding you back?” Melanie maintained her distance, thankfully. Esther wasn’t sure what she would do if she came in closer because the more they talked about this, the more she wanted to lean in and kiss her again, this time without hesitation, without stopping anything.

  “I’ve worked at three different schools in the four years I’ve been back teaching since Anthony was born. I only managed to stay at the last one for two years because I didn’t get hired anywhere else.”

  “All right.” Melanie stayed put, waiting for more information.

  “If I date you, I don’t know what he’ll do.”

  “Skip, you mean?”

  Esther nodded slightly. “I’ve seen how mad he can get, Mel. I’ve experienced it first hand, and I won’t put you through that.”

  “What has he done?”

  Tears pricked Esther’s eyes. Why did they keep coming back to this? She couldn’t stop the conversation no matter how many times it turned that direction. “I’ve seen what kind of power he holds.”

  “What does he do?” Melanie stepped in closer then, taking Esther’s hand. “You can talk to me.”

  The first salty demon slid down her cheek, and Esther slapped her hand up to wipe it away. “I told you about Carlisle. She had these rules, and I thought it was fine at first, but then it wasn’t. And when I wanted out, I couldn’t get out.”

  “Yeah, you told me that.”

  “Some of her rules were stupid things like I had to tell her exactly where I was at all times, and she had to know who I was out with, and if she didn’t approve of them, I couldn’t go. If I broke those rules, there were consequences.”

  Melanie’s jaw tightened.

  Esther knew what it sounded like because she’d been there. When she’d described it to Skip, he’d had the exact same reaction. Another tear slid down her cheek, but this time she left it.

  “I’m almost scared to ask.” Melanie brushed a hand down Esther’s arm.

  “If you’re asking if she hit me, no. Carlisle didn’t.” Esther wondered if that gave too much away about Skip, but she honestly didn’t care anymore. “The consequences for Carlisle had far more to do with controlling me and who I saw. I was so isolated with her, and she was so jealous. Any time I stepped out of line, she made life hell. I was always wondering if she was going to hit me or not.”

  “And Skip did?”

  Esther nodded, knowing that Melanie was too smart not to pick up on those small cues she gave. “Not at first.”

  “It never is at first.” Melanie stroked down Esther’s arm until she reached her fingers, entwining their hands together. “You said Skip helped you with Carlisle.”

  “He did. I met him when I was student teaching, some shindig or something. I forget, but he offered to help me file a restraining order even though it wasn’t in his area of expertise. He did. Then he kept hanging around me to make sure Carlisle didn’t try anything. When she did, he went into full-on protection mode. It was so sexy.” Esther gave a wry smile. “It was at first. Then it was honestly just the same as it was with Carlisle, only worse.”

  “You know you didn’t deserve any of that, right?”

  “I know,” Esther murmured, grateful Melanie had said it. “But that doesn’t make it any easier.”

  “No, it doesn’t.”

  “So since I can’t be done with Skip because of Anthony, I’m scared of what he’ll do if I date anyone.”

  “You mean if he loses what little control he still has on you.”

  Esther nodded her agreement, though she hadn’t really thought of it like that before. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he takes Anthony from me.”

  “He won’t. Not if you have proof—”

  “I do have proof,” Esther interrupted. “But I don’t know if I have any fight left in me or if I can avoid it.”

  Understanding flooded Melanie’s eyes just as the knock on the door interrupted them. Esther startled, tensing and gripping Melanie’s hand so tightly she worried she would hurt her. Melanie leaned in, whispering, “It’s all right. It’s just the food. I’ll go get it so you can stay here.”

  “Okay.”

  Esther took the time that Melanie was gone to pull herself together. She’d thought Carlisle and Skip were behind her, but in all honesty, she wasn’t sure they ever would be. Her life was all about avoiding the things they had done to her or threatened her with. Melanie was the complete opposite in all those ways, and such a balm to the hurt. When Melanie came back into the dining room, she had a sad look in her eyes.

  “I’ll be fine, I promise.” Esther tried to sound stronger than she was, but she knew she hadn’t managed to pull it off when Melanie touched her arm again.

  “I’ll stay tonight if you want me to.”

  “You should spend time with your family,” Esther argued. “That’s what the holidays are for.”

  “And remember who I said was family?” Melanie gave her a pointed look. “If you need me here, the kids will understand.”

  Esther breathed a sigh of relief, but she still gave Melanie one more out. “Let’s see how I’m doing in a few hours, when it’s dark out.”

  “Okay.” Melanie moved slowly as she started unpacking the food.

  Esther turned to the cupboards and reached for the plates, ready to spend the rest of the day not talking about her horrific past.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Esther was the first one to wake up that morning, but the emptiness she normally felt when waking up alone in the house wasn’t present. She blinked her eyes at the dark sky as she tried to figure out why she didn’t feel so lonely. It was the first time in ages that she could remember feeling that way, quite honestly since she graduated high school.

  Esther swallowed hard and shifted slightly to relieve the kink in her back from sleeping on her side. Then she remembered. Melanie was there. Melanie had stayed all day yesterday, talking, sharing, laughing. By the time it was evening, they were both exhausted, and Esther had fallen asleep as all her energy from confessions had rushed out of her.

  Melanie had woken her at some point, and then they’d ended up there. In her bed. Esther wasn’t sure she wanted to shift over and look, but she knew the warmth of her covers wasn’t solely because of sleep.

  Melanie was there.

  Esther slipped out from under the blankets and stood at the side of her bed in the pitch black of the early morning. Sure enough, there was a sleeping lump on the other side of the mattress, facing the window Esther refused to ever sleep next to, and breathing deeply, contentedly.

  Esther tiptoed out of the bedroom and made her way to the bathroom after grabbing her cell phone off the nightstand. It was barely six in the morning, but she had fallen asleep so early. That was the one thing she hated about vulnerability. It plumb wore her out.

  Jumping into the shower, Esther took her time to soothe her soul. Sharing what had happened to her in her last two relationships was always tiring, and she usually didn’t feel better for it, but this time was different. Melanie hadn’t made her feel stupid or a victim even. She’d given her strength, as though she had gotten through it and still could.

  Esther’s lips curled up at that as she dunked her head under the spray. She hadn’t expected that from their conversation. She was relaxed and nearly at peace. She wished Anthony were with her, but she was so glad he hadn’t been that day. She’d needed the time to work her way into sharing, and she knew she was the better for it. Esther just hoped it didn’t come back to bite her in the ass when the time was up for her at Irving. Because it would be. Skip would come in and ruin it all like he normally did.