Esther stayed in the shower for as long as she dared, but when Anthony came in the third time asking what was for dinner, she knew she had to do something productive to give him what he needed. She toweled off and pulled on her pajamas as she started water for macaroni and cheese, Anthony’s favorite. It would be the only way that she could make it up to him that night because she was in too much turmoil to take care of his feelings or think rationally.

  Anthony showed up right next to her with her phone in his hand. “It’s been ringing a lot.”

  Frowning, Esther took it and said nothing. She didn’t even have words. The number was one she didn’t recognize, but she had a pretty damn good idea who was calling her. Skip hadn’t even bothered, not that she expected him to. But the last missed call was from Chris. She knew Melanie and Chris were close, anyone who had been at that school more than a week could see that.

  She wasn’t sure she wanted to answer, but it was her principal. She was debating whether or not to call back when her phone rang again. Chris. Bringing the phone to her ear, she tried to decide quickly what she was going to say.

  “Hello?” Her voice wavered, and she chastised herself for it. She should have done better at preparing for this conversation.

  “Esther.” Chris sounded relieved. “Melanie said she tried to call you, but you didn’t answer.”

  “Oh…um…I was in the shower.” It wasn’t a lie. But she wouldn’t have answered for Melanie, not that night at least.

  “She’s right here. She wants to talk to you.”

  “No.” Esther said it so softly that she hoped Chris had heard her. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “No, I don’t want to talk to her.”

  “She wants to explain.”

  “I don’t need an explanation.” Esther dumped the pasta into the boiling water. “I don’t want to talk to her.”

  “Please consider it, at least on Monday after school. I think you both really need to listen to each other.”

  Esther considered it, but she wasn’t in the state of mind to make any decisions then. She stirred the pasta and set the spoon on the counter top. “I’ll think about it.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I need to take care of my son.”

  “I know. I know you do, Esther. Please believe me when I say that we are here for you, that I am here for you. If you want me present for the conversation on Monday, let me know, and I’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

  Esther already knew she wasn’t going to do that. She didn’t need anyone else to air her dirty laundry to. Sniffling, Esther stilled. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

  Hanging up, she turned her phone on silent and settled it onto the counter screen side down so she didn’t have to see it. She really needed to figure out what she was going to do about Melanie. That had been the worst way to find out who Skip was dating. She’d respectfully kept her distance from any of his flings since she’d left him, and she had never expected to walk in and find him with someone. Someone she trusted.

  Tears welled in her eyes again, and she tried her best to hold them back but a couple escaped, trailing down her cheeks to her chin. She did trust Melanie. That was the hard part. She didn’t know when she had started leaning into their relationship, but she did. And she liked her, she found Melanie attractive, but this firmly put Melanie in the camp of unattainable. Esther had been stupid to even entertain the remote idea that there could be more between them. Damn Carissa and her encouragement.

  She should have put a stop to it when she could. She was such an idiot, getting lost in the dreams she knew would never happen. She couldn’t let them happen. She wouldn’t allow herself to hurt Anthony like Skip did, to not give him the consistency and stability he deserved.

  Esther finished making dinner and then sat with Anthony in silence as she put on a movie and let him eat while watching television—something she rarely did. She would get out of this funk tomorrow, but for tonight, she was going to allow herself this one time to wallow in whatever emotion she was feeling.

  It was so muddled that it was hard to figure it out, but she knew for sure that she felt awful, and exhausted, and emotionally run over. Anthony put his dish in the sink and came to snuggle with her on the couch, curling up under her arm.

  “Is daddy dating Ms. Przybyla?”

  Esther whimpered. Why did he have to ask that? Damn the child for being so astute. She took her time answering, and thankfully Anthony gave it to her. “I don’t know, bub.”

  “I think it’s weird if he is. Maybe they were just talking about school.”

  “Maybe they were.”

  “Do you think they were talking about me?”

  Esther’s lips twitched. “I don’t think they were.”

  The more she thought about the look on Melanie’s face, the wide eyes, the fear, the devastation, she knew. She knew without even having to hear it from Melanie herself. Melanie hadn’t known. Skip had bailed on every school activity so far, so she’d never met him. He’d rarely dropped Anthony off on time, meaning any week Melanie had bus duty, she likely wouldn’t have seen him. She hadn’t even known Esther was Anthony’s mother.

  That was a problem, for sure, but Esther couldn’t fault her for doing this while knowing. Brushing her fingers through Anthony’s hair, Esther dropped a kiss to the top of his head. He was so much stronger than she was. Well, he had been dealing with Skip’s numerous girlfriends for years longer than she had. She’d avoided it as best as she could.

  “Let’s skip bath tonight and go straight to bed. What do you say?”

  “Okay.” Anthony regarded her carefully, as if he wanted to argue, but Esther didn’t have it in her to do that.

  She forced a smile. “You can stay up to finish the movie, but then bed. No arguing.”

  “Thanks, Mom.” He hugged her tightly before facing the television screen again.

  Esther tried to focus on it, but all she could see was Melanie, dressed to the nines, her hair done up with gel, her makeup perfectly painted to make her dark brown eyes wide and innocent. She sighed on a whimper. She just wanted a year without drama.

  Chapter Ten

  Melanie couldn’t wait for Esther to come to her. She had a feeling that if she did, Esther would never grace her doorway, not until she had to anyway. Bracing herself for whatever anger was deservedly going to be thrown her way, Melanie stepped into Esther’s classroom after school on Monday and shut the door behind her. She did not need to make a scene about this—she’d already done enough of that herself.

  “I’m so sorry,” Melanie started, realizing belatedly that she was always the one apologizing first. Not that she thought Esther should apologize to her this time. “I read his name on Anthony’s file, but it’s such a common name and not what he goes by, and I was distracted, and I didn’t make the connection.”

  “Shut up,” Esther said softly. She stared, her pained gaze boring into Melanie’s heart.

  She had no idea what to say next. She’d expected to walk in there and grovel to the best of her ability, anything that would make this right. Instead, they watched each other carefully, neither saying a word and neither taking the first step.

  Melanie moved in closer. “I didn’t know. You have to believe me.”

  Esther’s gaze dropped, and her cheeks paled slightly, but Melanie couldn’t figure out why. Esther had become unreadable since Saturday night, and she hated it. Just when she was starting to figure out her mannerisms, she was thrown back into the enemy category.

  “I didn’t know.”

  “I believe you,” Esther whispered. It was so quiet that Melanie nearly missed it.

  “You do?”

  Esther flicked her gaze up. “I do.”

  “Oh, thank the Lord.” The weight that had rested heavily on Melanie’s chest lifted. She could breathe again. Rolling her shoulders, she sat on the corner of Esther’s desk as she often did and relaxed as she stared down at her. “Thank you for believing me.”

  “I can’t figure out how you didn’t know.”

  “I know. I just… I was gone most of last week, there've been some family issues I’ve been dealing with, and I missed the connection. It’s all my fault.” Melanie wasn’t sure how accurate the blame was, but if she took it all and it got Esther talking, she would do it. She needed to do anything to remedy this. “I asked Chris why she didn’t tell me. I don’t know how I could be so blind.”

  “Well, he doesn’t look like me.”

  “He doesn’t, but that doesn’t excuse—”

  “You’re not excused because of it,” Esther fired off.

  Melanie faltered, not sure where to go with the conversation next. She needed to make this right. She hated when people were angry with her, and she couldn’t stand to have Esther mad at her any longer than she’d already been. “I know. I don’t know what to say.”

  “Are you dating him?” Esther’s lips were so thin they were nearly invisible.

  Melanie raised an eyebrow, laying her hands flat on her thighs as she shook her head. “No, that was our first date, and our last. I’m not sure I’d even call it a date. I walked out right after you, and I didn’t go back in. I called Chris and had her come pick me up.”

  Esther seemed to relax ever so slightly because of that. “I hope you know how inappropriate I think it is for you to date a student’s parent.”

  “It is inappropriate, and if I had known, it never would have happened. But I didn’t know. He missed his conference. You all didn’t come to the open house.”

  Esther snorted sharply. “Skip is not a very hands-on parent.”

  “I gathered as much. Please.” Melanie reached out and touched Esther’s arms like she had so many times before, but Esther jerked back suddenly and shook her head, eyes wide, fear tightening in every corner of her face. Melanie drew away, giving Esther the space she obviously needed. “I don’t need to know everything. I don’t want to know everything unless you want to share. I don’t need an explanation is what I’m trying to say.”

  “Good, because you’re not going to get one.”

  Melanie nodded, her gaze trailing down to Esther’s tightly clasped hands. “Again, I’m so sorry.”

  “Is all you’re going to do is apologize?”

  “I don’t know what else to do.”

  “Anthony asked me if you were Skip’s new girlfriend that night. I had to sit there and explain to my five-year-old that I didn’t know. But what if I’d had to say yes? Do you know how much that would hurt him?”

  Tears stung Melanie’s eyes. “I know. I never meant for any of this to happen. I promise you. I thought I was going on a date with a member of the board, which was already testing my ethics, but then Anthony ran in—I just… I never meant for any of this to happen,” she repeated.

  Esther held her ground, tense and stoic as ever. Melanie longed for that wall to be broken down again, for the small insight into what Esther was feeling and thinking. She could take a wild guess and probably land pretty close to the feeling portion, but she had no idea what Esther was thinking.

  “Chris says she’ll assign a new mentor if you want.”

  Esther clenched her jaw tightly, but it was the only sign that she’d heard anything Melanie had said. She hoped that Esther didn’t ask for someone new, but she would fully understand if she did. Melanie wasn’t someone who wanted to give up on anyone, but if she had to give up on this so that Esther could have more peace in her obviously chaotic life, then she would.

  “Esther, please…”

  Esther shot her a dirty look. “I bet he would have loved having you.”

  Melanie shuddered, the shiver moving through every limb of her body until goosebumps rippled across her skin. “Excuse me?”

  “He loves a woman who will beg.”

  There it was. The emotion Melanie had been looking for, the hurt that was sprouting up again. She recognized it. She’d seen it Saturday night, but it had been so easily masked by anger, by Esther’s damnable self-control. It was probably a good thing she had because Anthony had been right there and Melanie hadn’t been able to figure out what to do or say.

  “Esther, I would never do that. Now that I know, I would never do that to you.”

  Esther slammed her palm onto the desktop as she pushed to stand in one fluid movement. “That seems to be the problem, Ms. Przybyla. You don’t know anything.”

  Melanie’s heart thundered, her own fear moving through her.

  “You’re incompetent. My son may love you as his teacher, but after this weekend, he won’t ever look at you the same. You hurt him.”

  Melanie wanted to refute it, but she knew it was true. But, she was pretty sure she had hurt Anthony’s mother far more than she had hurt Anthony. “Esther—”

  “I’m done talking to you,” Esther interrupted. “Get out of my classroom.”

  “No!” Melanie stood her ground, her voice rising. “I won’t. You know, I do know something. I know that you’re the most closed off person I have ever met, and the only time you light up is when Anthony is involved. You’re soft with your students. You love them. I know that you have a heart somewhere in there under all this anger and bitchiness. I’ve seen it, and I won’t let you get away with making anyone think otherwise.”

  Esther’s lips parted before she pressed them together tightly. “This conversation is over.”

  “It’s not.” Melanie pointed at the desk. “You said your piece, now I’m going to say mine. I met Skip at dinner the other week with Chris. I didn’t ask for him to join us. I knew he was on the school board, and I still went out with him. It was a mistake, one I’m not planning on repeating. But after fifteen years of not dating I thought I deserved a little fun, a little adventure, maybe even love. And you know what? It was a disaster. It was wrong. It was the worst possible thing that could have happened. But I’m still here. I’m still standing. And so are you. If you don’t work on getting through this, the only person who is going to suffer without reason is Anthony.”

  Esther’s head shook, her fists clenched tightly. “Don’t you dare think about Anthony’s feelings now.”

  “No, I am. Because I’m his teacher, and he is one of the best students I’ve had in years. He’s so sweet. He’s the absolute opposite of you, and I just don’t get it. Do you suck all his bad energy out and keep it for yourself? Seriously.”

  A light smile curved at her lips. “You said it yourself, Ms. Przybyla. I’m different with him.”

  “I think he is the best representation of who you actually are. I think you’re hurt, you’re wounded, and it’s not just from Skip, or at least not just from the divorce.”

  “We were never married,” Esther corrected. “I would never… I could never…”

  Melanie’s heart shattered again. Esther looked so lost, so thrown into the unknown that she had no idea where to step or go from there. Again, she wanted to reach out and touch her, but she restrained herself. She had no idea what footing they were on, and she wouldn’t make another mistake.

  “If you believe me,” Melanie whispered, “if you believe that I didn’t know, then why are we still fighting?”

  Esther had tears in her eyes, the same pained expression she’d had during her conference. This time, Melanie did give in. She pulled her in, wrapping her arms around Esther’s shoulders in a hug. Esther didn’t relax. She stayed completely stiff, but Melanie held on because Esther didn’t move away or tell her to stop.

  “I’m here for you. I promise you that.”

  “Thank you.” The words were muffled, and Melanie wasn’t sure if she’d heard them correctly, but she didn’t ask for clarification. Instead, she held on until she felt she could move away without Esther breaking apart.

  Finally, when they separated, Melanie found herself cupping Esther’s cheek again, but Esther refused to make eye contact. Fearing she had overstepped, Melanie put a few extra inches of space between them, but she missed Esther being in her arms. She couldn’t quite label why, but she wanted it to happen again.

  “Are we okay?” Melanie tentatively asked. “I don’t want to leave you if we’re not okay. If you’re not okay.”

  Esther nodded slightly, still not raising her gaze to meet Melanie’s. “I am. Thank you.”

  “Okay. Let’s give it some time and see where we land.”

  “Yeah.”

  Melanie touched her again, this time a hand to Esther’s upper arm with a reassuring squeeze. “Please come to me if you need something. I promise to try to not be so dense.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Melanie left, feeling slightly better about where they stood but still not sure how everything would work out. As she stepped out of the classroom, she ran right into Chris. “What are you doing?”

  “Making sure my two favorite teachers don’t kill each other.”

  Melanie rolled her eyes and pointed at Chris. “This is all your fault, you know.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Just go on the date, Mel. What’s the harm, Mel? You deserve it, Mel.”

  Chris put her hands up. “Fine, I take some responsibility.”

  “Good. I have work to do.” Melanie walked away toward her classroom, hiding away until she finished enough work to feel like she hadn’t been such an idiot.

  Without Anthony home for a distraction, Esther had nothing to do but think. All the extra time she had hoped to spend on work, and she was stuck in her head. Thoughts spinning around about the worst case scenario.

  She’d already been banned from board meetings, which frustrated her. She’d watched online, only to learn the secret agenda item had been postponed to the next meeting. Nothing else had been of interest to her. Now Skip was weaseling his way into her school life again, making problems where there didn’t need to be any.

  Well, to be fair, she was the one making the problems. Skip had only been the instigating factor in most of her emotional outbursts, something she had really thought she’d managed to contain when she’d transferred to Irving. Maybe she should transfer again. After all this drama in the first two quarters—she couldn’t see it getting any better throughout the rest of the year.