“Oh.” Sweat pooled under Esther’s armpits, the small of her back. She knew she must look awful, as if she was about to have a mental breakdown, especially with the way Melanie was looking at her.

  The bell buzzed, signaling the start of the school day. Esther tried to wet her parched mouth by dashing her tongue across her lips, but it didn’t help. She wanted to move, to go out to the playground, grab her class, leave this woman’s presence behind, but she couldn’t force her feet to take that first step.

  Melanie touched her elbow briefly, mumbling something, the air rushing in Esther’s ears prevented her from hearing. Somehow they were walking toward the doors to the playground. They went out the first and second grade door since it was the nearest one. The cold air outside hit Esther like a wall, but she was so very thankful for it.

  The first breath she drew in of chilled air was enough to snap her back into reality. Melanie gave her a curious look, and Esther shook her head, trying to assuage any worry she might have caused by being so despondent.

  “Thanks for the information about Amelia. I’ll make sure to remember that.” She didn’t even wait for a reply as she left Melanie and moved to where her class stood in a line already, waiting for her. Her heart raced through the first hour of the day, when she finally settled into teaching her class.

  All day, Melanie kept remembering that odd little moment in her classroom. She’d never heard such a soft or jovial tone from Esther before, and she’d been intrigued to figure out the cause. She’d been shocked to find it was Amelia, although the more she thought about it, the more she understood it.

  They were very similar in a lot of ways. It had taken Amelia most of the school year to begin to warm up to Melanie, and even then it was only a small amount. She’d been so worried, she’d almost filed a report on her, but having had some of her older siblings in classes, Melanie had taken the wait-and-see route.

  By the end of the school day Melanie was exhausted, but she still couldn’t stop thinking about Amelia and Esther. The weekend hadn’t been all she had hoped for, her time with Chris interrupted, but it was still so quiet. It was hard to adjust to being the only person in the house, and in some ways, she couldn’t wait until the kids came home for Thanksgiving just so that she would have someone in the house with her.

  The thought of downsizing had occurred to her, but then Becky would bring the grandkids over, and she wasn’t willing to give up the space because she wanted them there as much as possible. Rubbing her temple, Melanie sat at her desk as she double-checked all her plans for the rest of the week. She’d fallen behind because she’d been so melancholy lately.

  Luckily, she’d taught kindergarten long enough that most of what she did was modifications to lesson plans she’d already created. Occasionally she would make some brand new ones, like this year when the district had thrown an entirely new language arts curriculum at her. It wasn’t her favorite one by any means, but it wasn’t the worst she’d ever used. As usual, many of the parents had thrown a fit over the changes and others didn’t even know there had been a change.

  It was all part of teaching. Though the thought that Skip was one of the individuals in charge of voting on the curriculum still bothered her. He wasn’t a teacher. No one on the current school board was a teacher, which meant when it came to choosing curriculum she wasn’t sure they were the best people to make those decisions. Yes, it had to be voted on, but most people didn’t care enough to pay attention.

  Still, Skip was an interesting soul. She had enjoyed the dinner they’d had that weekend and wasn’t opposed to another one, one that might be more intimate. Perhaps Chris was right and she should be putting herself back out there. So much of the last fifteen years had been focused on her kids, and now she didn’t have them weighing over her mind as much. She still worried about them, but they weren’t an everyday physical presence in her life any longer.

  Melanie fiddled with her phone, wondering whether or not she should call him, when it started ringing. Seeing Ella’s name light up the screen caused her to smile. She lifted the phone to her ear as she answered. “Hey, Ella.”

  “Hey, Mama.”

  “What’s going on? I’ve only got a few minutes before I need to head to a staff meeting.”

  “I was hoping to catch you. I…um…I have something to tell you.”

  Melanie’s stomach immediately twisted into knots. That tone was not one she was ever excited to hear in her kids’ voices, but especially not Ella’s. She was likely the most reserved of all four of her kids. She tried her best to keep her voice even-keeled when she answered. “What is it?”

  “I’m…I’m pregnant.”

  Cold washed over Melanie, fear settling into the pit of her belly. Ella pregnant. Whew. She was going to need time to process this one. Becky was married already, two kids, but Ella was her reserved baby, Ella was the one who she never thought would get married until she was thirty, Ella was the one who had a plan and was determined to stick to it. She had to say something. She knew she did, Ella would expect her to, but what the hell kind of answer could she give?

  Sucking in a breath, Melanie asked the only thing she could. “Are you happy about it?”

  “I’m scared.” Ella’s voice wavered as she sobbed.

  “Oh, baby.” Melanie adjusted the phone and lowered her voice. “Baby, it’ll be okay. We’ll figure this out, okay? You’ll be fine. We’re all here for you, no matter what, you know that, right?”

  “Yeah.” Ella sniffled.

  “Good.

  “Mama?”

  “What is it, baby?”

  “I’m so scared.”

  “I know. I know.” Melanie’s heart nearly shattered at the fear in her daughter’s voice. “Can you get away soon? Come home?”

  “I don’t know. I can look.”

  “If not, have you talked to Becky yet?”

  “No. I…I don’t know how to tell her.”

  “Okay, let’s all video chat tonight and talk to her, all right? We’ll figure this out, baby. I promise you.” Melanie glanced up as other teachers started filing down the hall. She didn’t have much time left.

  “Okay.”

  “I’m here for you. I promise.”

  “I know you have a meeting. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Ella.” Melanie paused, making sure she had all of Ella’s attention. “I love you, no matter what.”

  “Thanks, Mama.”

  “Good. I’ll talk to you tonight.” Hanging up was one of the hardest things she had had to do all year. She was going to have to talk to Chris and see if she could take a day or two off and help Ella through this, but with parent-teacher conferences just around the corner, she wasn’t sure she would be able to take the time.

  So much for thinking that her life was just calming down. She would keep the house for now, in case Ella decided she needed to move home and have more support. Taking a few deep breaths to try and re-gear her mind toward work, Melanie stood up from her desk and fell into the throng of teachers, Esther ending up right beside her.

  “Everything okay?” Esther asked.

  Melanie nodded. “For now.”

  At Esther’s curious and concerned look, Melanie shook her head. “I can’t really talk about it right now.”

  “Okay.” Esther still didn’t lose that concerned gaze, and oddly enough, it made Melanie feel good.

  They had made a breakthrough that week. She wasn’t entirely sure why or how or what had been the tipping point, but they were making strides toward improving their mentoring relationship. She would have to tell Chris, after she figured out if she could leave for a few days or not. She might not even get her date with Skip at that point, which she was perfectly comfortable with. Her kids came first, no matter what.

  Chapter Eight

  Melanie had managed to score herself a day and a half off, and Ella had been put sufficiently at ease. The relief Melanie had seen on her daughter’s face as soon as she’d shown up at her apartment had made all the stress of leaving worth it. However, in the meantime, she’d had to prepare for parent-teacher conferences at the last minute and trust everyone had signed up.

  She’d checked her emails as often as she could, but even then, she knew she missed something. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make, and she’d have to work double time to get things prepared in the next couple of days.

  She had two days without her students while she did conferences, and her heart ached already. She hadn’t seen them in nearly a week since she’d taken those two emergency days off. Ella had told her to stay home that weekend, and after much reassurance, she’d agreed. To make herself stay, she’d even called Skip and set up her date with him for Saturday. She was going to need to relax after this difficult week.

  The first few parents of the day came and went without incident. She was glad she could give a nearly positive report on every one of her students except two. One of those was because of behavioral issues, which the parents shouldn’t be surprised about since she’d already had to talk to them multiple times throughout the first quarter, and the other was because a young girl kept struggling with reading and phonetics.

  Melanie suspected she was struggling with hearing, but the girl had missed the day they checked the kids' hearing and the parents hadn’t answered any of her requests for meetings or contact. Hopefully they would show up for the conference so she could explain to them why she was worried.

  Rubbing her temple, she took a few gulps of water and shoved a few bites of food between her lips as she ate quickly. She barely glanced at who was next on her list, but she saw Anthony’s name and smiled. She would have an excellent report for his parents.

  Melanie turned at the knock on her door, startled to find Esther filling the frame. Well, she had hoped that Esther would come find her again, she just didn’t expect it in the middle of conferences. Melanie set her fork down and swallowed the rest of her bite as she gave Esther a curious look.

  “Everything all right?” Melanie couldn’t help but see the frazzled expression on Esther’s face, the red cheeks, red eyes, as though she’d been crying.

  Esther nodded and stepped inside, shutting the door behind her. Melanie’s heart jumped into her throat. As much as she wanted to be there to talk with Esther, she didn’t have the time with her next conference about to start. She’d barely had ten minutes to eat her lunch.

  “I thought we could start a little early since I have to get back for a conference.”

  “Start?” Melanie frowned, thoroughly confused.

  “Our conference. I know my ex was supposed to come, but he apparently double-booked his schedule.”

  “Your ex.” Melanie’s brain was still struggling to catch up. She glanced down at the file on her desk, the next student she was supposed to have a conference about, then she looked back up at Esther. “Anthony is your son?”

  Esther cocked her head to the side.

  “I…” Melanie stopped talking. How the hell had she missed that one? She opened his file and skimmed over the parents' names finding Esther’s nowhere on it. All she found was Anthony Johnson Sr and his phone number and address. “You’re Anthony’s mother?”

  “Yes.” Esther folded her hands tightly together in front of her.

  Melanie’s heart raced. She had known Esther Dunja for months, tried to get to know her better each day, and yet she had a child in Melanie’s class that she knew absolutely nothing about?

  “I…” She stopped again, realizing she couldn’t just keep staring at Esther. She had to say something, but this was the last thing she had expected. She’d never thought…she had to stop this spiral of questioning. Melanie brushed her hand out to the chair in front of her desk that she had set up for parents.

  Esther slowly took it, lowering herself tenderly onto the plastic seat. Every muscle in her body was rigid as she sat with her back ramrod straight, her eyes narrowed while she stared unseeing at the desk in front of her. “I really do only have a few minutes.”

  “All right,” Melanie said, clearing her throat as she pulled out Anthony’s report card and laid it on the desk in front of her and stopped. “I’m sorry. But why didn’t you tell me?”

  Esther’s gaze flicked straight to Melanie’s, locking their eyes together in a heated silent battle. Esther looked so afraid, and that same look of pain was back in her eyes.

  “Esther,” Melanie started, softening her tone. “What happened?”

  She shook her head, as if fighting tears, but it didn’t seem to be working. Melanie leaned over her desk and held her hand out, upright, hoping that Esther would take it. She’d never seen her this upset before. She just wanted to wrap her in a hug and tell her she would make everything okay, that whatever had happened, she would take care of it.

  “Just give me his report,” Esther muttered, her jaw clenched tightly. She didn’t take Melanie’s proffered hand and that stung. Melanie couldn’t quite figure out why, but with the progress they had made the week before, she had hoped—she chided herself. It was stupid to hope. Esther was as closed off as they came.

  “I love having Anthony in my class. He’s a light and a ball of energy.”

  Esther’s lips twitched at that, so Melanie must be doing something well.

  Pointing at the papers, Melanie continued, “You can see how he’s doing so far, which is really well. We haven’t worked on these skills yet, so don’t pay any attention to the number on the score. He has the highest he can possibly get for the moment.”

  Esther moved in and brushed her fingers over the paper to follow where Melanie was pointing. Melanie wondered for a very brief moment what it would feel like to have Esther reach out and touch her. She’d never done that before. Each time they had touched Melanie had been the one to initiate, but they sat so close together.

  Finishing the report was easy and quick. Melanie sat back in her chair and studied Esther. She still looked like she might shatter if pushed in the wrong direction, but Melanie’s curiosity was far too strong to give it up.

  “So when I asked Linda and Chris to have Anthony call his mom—”

  “Yes,” Esther answered, lobbing a dark look in Melanie’s direction, as if she didn’t want to talk about it.

  “I didn’t know.” Melanie shook her head. “You’re not on any of his paperwork.”

  “I wouldn’t be.” Esther pressed her lips together. “His father insisted on registering him, and I’m sure he conveniently left my name off everything. Chris knows, though, and since I work here, it’s not hard if he needs something.”

  “So you have shared custody?”

  Again that look, as though Melanie had wounded her. She had to stop, rein herself in, but she couldn’t. She wanted to know. She’d finally found the crack in Esther’s walls and she could see a small sliver of what was inside.

  “Of course we do,” Esther’s tone was clipped. “How else would he be able to register Anthony for school and sign up for conferences? Speaking of, I have my own to get to. Thank you for the report.”

  Esther gathered the papers on the desk in front of her and held them tightly in her hand. Melanie stood up as Esther did and came around the desk swiftly. She gripped Esther’s free hand and held it tightly, making sure she had all of Esther’s attention.

  “You could have told me.”

  “I assumed you knew.” Esther pressed her lips together so hard they nearly disappeared. “Wouldn’t that be your due diligence as a teacher? To know who your students' parents are?”

  It hurt. Melanie couldn’t put her finger on why, but she’d thought they’d had a breakthrough earlier that week, but Esther was now back to her usual cold and aloof self. Melanie canted her head, trying to read between the lines. It seemed she was always doing that.

  “I’m sorry I was a little dense this week. I was dealing with a family emergency.”

  “I know you were.” Esther raised an eyebrow in a challenge. “I actually talk to my kid. I know Mrs. R was in here for a few days, but that doesn’t excuse the last nine weeks.”

  Melanie’s heart thumped hard. “No, it doesn’t.”

  “So forgive me if I’m questioning your competence.”

  “My competence?” Melanie blew out a breath. She wanted so badly to quibble, but she avoided it. She’d had enough emotional drainage that week, she didn’t need any more. “Esther, I’ve tried to get to know you since the start of the school year, I have made every opportunity possible for you to open up, and you haven’t once mentioned your son.”

  Leaning in, Esther’s upper lip curled into a snarl. Melanie stayed put, trying to figure out exactly what was going on. “I didn’t want to alter your view of him.”

  “That’s an excuse if I’ve ever heard one, and it would only work this year. You’re lucky it worked this long. Esther.” Melanie dropped her tone, softening her voice. Doing something she never would do with anyone else, she cupped Esther’s cheek to look deep into her eyes, a fire lighting in her gaze at the caress. “What are you really mad about?”

  “He was supposed to be here. He was supposed to do this, not me. I have my own parents to meet with and that was the arrangement, and then ten minutes ago, he calls me to back out. Fucking typical.” The curse word rang through the room, the edge in it unmistakeable. “Everything would have been fine if he could just do what he says he’s going to do. Instead, I’m left to pick up the pieces.”

  Melanie had to work hard to keep her own tears at bay. Esther was raw. “Not everyone is built to be a parent. Trust me. That’s a lesson I learned early on in teaching.”

  “It’s different when it’s your own kid.”

  Melanie gave a wry smile. “I know, and it hurts more then, too.”

  The tension in Esther’s shoulders vanished in a second, and Melanie dropped her hand, holding onto Esther’s tightly, squeezing once. She felt as though they’d come to an understanding, perhaps, but at least it was more than they’d had before.

  “Thank you,” Melanie murmured.

  “For what?”