In all his glory, he struts over and lifts me onto the counter. I happen to be in a oversized t-shirt and a pair of thongs, so there’s not much to remove. My shirt is first to fly off. We kiss once. It’s long and prosperous until he shocks the shit out of me. My lace underwear are ripped apart at the crotch. The remnants are shoved from his view. The cold granite countertop gives me goose bumps as he leans me back and takes in the sight of my body. My nipples harden with the chill in the air, all the more for him to enjoy. He takes a pot holder and puts it under my head. “Don’t move.”

  I listen and see him pulling a frying pan out of the cabinet under me. He goes to the opposite side and pulls out pancake mix, and then some items from the refrigerator. I attempt to sit up again, only to have him slap me on my belly with a spatula. “Stay.”

  “I’m not the dog.”

  “Trust me.”

  I’m leaning on my elbows. “Did you seriously say that?”

  “You’re naked, and I’m about to pleasure you. Stop bitching and be patient.”

  As I tend to my stinging stomach, I scope out the ingredients. Pancakes and bacon. He mixes the batter in a bowl and pours some into the heating pan. With his attention now on me, I watch him reach for the maple syrup. At first I’m confused until he starts squirting little amounts on certain parts of me. I feel it oozing down into my belly button, and then it proceeds to slide further. He traces a design as it pours onto my pussy. Then comes back up to soak each nipple. No sooner is the bottle put to the side, are his lips and tongue working to clean me off. He starts up top, lapping my right nipple into his mouth. I can feel his tongue stroking the skin before he lets go. A quick inspection shows it’s all gone. He goes to the other side, this time licking around my areolas in a circular motion. He sucks once and lets go, then kisses it before standing.

  His eyes focus on my abdomen. For a second he maps his course, but quickly flips the first pancakes to keep them from burning. “Where was I?” I watch him tend to the pan again, only to have him take one of the piping hot pancakes and hold it up in the air. He blows on it for a brief second before bringing it down to brush the syrup that’s sitting on my pussy. The heat sends jolts of excitement through every limb. His smile is wicked. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” His first bite is ravenous, as if it’s the best thing he’s ever tasted. He takes another pancake and slaps it against the base of my pussy again, rubbing it around until it’s cooled. I sit up and watch, unable to relax when the burn ignites a fire to my core. He plays around a few more seconds, then dives down and licks away the remnants of the syrup. I run my hands through his dark hair when he begins teasing my clit. Crane eats my pussy like a starved dog. He’s relentless to a point where I wonder if he’s gone crazy. I writhe and scream and fall apart twice before he lets up.

  When he’s satisfied, he stands and finishes cooking breakfast as if we weren’t just doing bad things on the counter. Eating a full plate of pancakes will never be the same, and it’s going to take all day for the remnants of it to stop pulsating my pussy.

  Damn I’ve missed this man, and his breakfast skills.

  Chapter 17

  Whalecumbuhbye: A piece of shit abandoning mother who thinks she can return, but she’s out of her ever-loving mind. A money hungry bitch who steals from her kids and leaves them with nothing. Mrs. Paula Tanner.

  Sundays are for family. It’s always been that way growing up, so I’m not surprised Linc sticks to tradition with his own little crew. Crane is the same way. After asking if he wants to tag along, I learn he spends Sunday afternoons with his mom. They catch a matinee at the movies and go home for a nice meal. I’m almost jealous, because I love his mother’s cooking, and doubt Michelle can manufacture anything close to the scrumptious delight of Mrs. Anna Lord’s masterpieces in the kitchen. I swear the woman is a food wizard.

  Since Crane can’t come with me, he’s offered to let me borrow the truck so I have a ride to and from. We share a quick kiss goodbye that only tells me I’m falling right back into a routine with another man. I want to trust him. I really do. It’s just, my heart can’t take much more disappointment. I’d rather have nothing and be safe, than have everything I’ve ever wanted back and end up losing it for the second time. It’s probably a ridiculous way to think about it, but it’s safe. As adventurous as I’ve always been, I tend to tread lightly when it comes to feelings. I’m bitter for a lot of reasons. I’ve been abandoned, verbally abused, cheated on, and lied to my whole life. Trust doesn’t come easy. It probably never will.

  Zeus enjoys a long walk before I leave to head to my brother’s house. Just like the last time I drove anywhere, remnants of my past flash by as I take in the scenery. I know it’s not the perfect place to live, but this city is home. I know that now. Vegas never felt like this. It never felt like forever. Regardless of what happens with Crane, this time around I’m not going anywhere, even if I uncover the worst of lies, nothing will push me away again.

  My nieces want to know all about me. First we play in the miniature house in the back yard. We tell innocent secrets and they force me to pretend to drink and eat imaginary items. Then they want to go inside and do my hair. My simple ponytail is ripped out and replaced with multiple colored bows and clips. They yank and rip, but I sit enjoying them. I’m their tough aunt, so I need to make a good impression.

  After my hair is redone, I opt to leave it in to appease them. Their smiles are absolutely the most adorable things, and I’m happy to be able to spend time getting to know them.

  There’s a few occasions when I catch my brother watching us. He seems pleased to have me back in his life, contrary to Tuck’s rude behavior. When he comes outside with a phone in his hand I’m sort of confused, that is until he tells me who is on the other line. “It’s Hath. He wants to say hi.”

  I almost rip the device from his hand. “Hath?”

  “Raimey. Damn, sis, when Linc told me your were back I didn’t believe him.”

  “It’s true. I’m here.”

  “That’s awesome. How’s life treating ya? You bring back a man and some kids?”

  I almost laugh, but refrain. It’s sort of not funny at all. “Nah, just me.”

  “Does Crane know?”

  I roll my eyes. Nothing gets by these guys. “Yeah, he knows. We’re sort of, well I’m staying at his place.”

  “He’s got a nice crib. I wish our dad looked out for us the way his did.”

  I appreciate that another one of my siblings is confirming Crane’s dad did in fact leave him with a boatload of money. “Yeah, it’s pretty nice. What about you? How are you? When can I come visit?”

  “Well, I’m way upstate. Fucking overcrowding at the other places. They put us non-threatening individuals up here in the boonies. It’s not so bad. We get three hots and cot. Shit I even have cable television and a job.”

  “You’re working?”

  “Yeah, didn’t Linc tell you? I’m in a program. I get to go out to work every day and then come back at night. It’s not so bad. I’ll be out soon, but I’m thinking about looking for something like I’m doing now. I kind of like it.”

  “What do you do?”

  “I work in a book binding factory. It’s a program that’s offered to inmates. At first I thought it would be lame, but it’s a lot of machines and learning. I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it. They have me working on the equipment, and in a couple more months I’ll be certified.”

  “Holy shit. That’s impressive.”

  “Yeah. Who would have thought getting locked up would provide me with a career?”

  “So you’re not upset about the towing company?”

  “Linc said you were asking about it. Look, Raimey, things haven’t been great. That company tore us apart. I’d rather walk away while we’re still on speaking terms, at least some of us.”

  “You don’t speak to Tuck?” This is news to me, since Tuck claimed to have spent a fortune trying to keep them out of jail.

  “Hell no. He’s a lying bastard.”

  “He told me you did a job for Crane and got locked up.”

  “What the fuck? Crane didn’t even know about it until we were locked up. He and Linc came to the bail hearing. Tuck is such a piece of shit. Don’t even talk to him, Raimey. He’ll drag you down with him, and whatever you do, don’t give him money.”

  “Hath, was Tuck the reason you got locked up?”

  “Not just Tuck. Let’s just say I did it because I thought I had to. It’s better if you stay out of it. Listen I’m out of time. My buddy here needs to call his wife. I’ll be out in less than a year. Come see me.”

  “Love ya later, bro.” It’s what we always said to each other when we were younger.

  He laughs. “I miss ya, sis. I’m glad you’re home.”

  When the call ends I look straight in Linc’s eyes. It’s time someone tells me the whole truth. “Tell me about Mom.”

  Linc waits until the dinner table is cleared to have a serious conversation with me. He sits with his hands folded and a beer in front of him. He’s staring at the bottle as he starts. “She showed up a couple years ago.”

  “She just showed up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “After all these years. Did you know who she was?”

  “Yes, I uh, I recognized her.”

  Never once have I wondered about her. She’s a total stranger. I’m not trying to be insensitive, but I have no connection to her. I was a baby when she left. I never had pictures, or anything to remind me of her. “I don’t get it. Why now? Why would she even want to come back? She has to know we all hate her.”

  Linc refuses to look at me. His neck turns a bright red, which tells me he’s uncomfortable. What has him so worked up? “Did you want to see her?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know. I was old enough to remember her leaving. We can’t just go off what dad told us.”

  “She never came back for any of us.”

  “Raimey, there’s things you don’t know.”

  “Well, spit out. What the hell, Linc?”

  “I don’t know how to say this to you.” He finally glances at me. His eyes are focused, but I can tell he’s reluctant. “Apparently Dad wasn’t your biological father. Mom had an affair at the same time Dad did. She said they hadn’t been getting along, and she fell for some other guy, but Tuck said she told him something different. I don’t know what to believe, and I haven’t had anything to do with her. I refuse.”

  “Wait, what?” We should have discussed this before I ate dinner. The lasagna is starting to come back up. The room spins as I consider what this means. “So I’m...I’m not a Tanner?”

  He reaches over to touch my hand, but I pull it away. “You’re still my sister. We share the same mother.”

  My head shakes. “This isn’t true. She’s lying.”

  “Raimey, she has no reason to lie about it. Dad’s dead.”

  “This isn’t happening.” I rub my temples and try to wish it away. “What in the hell? Did Dad know?”

  Linc shrugs. “He never said anything.”

  “Why in the hell would our mother leave me with a man who wasn’t our dad?”

  “Drugs.”

  “Come again?”

  “She was strung out. Apparently she was pretty messed up.”

  “Wait,” I announce, suddenly realizing what this means. “If Dad isn’t my Dad, and she isn’t Del’s mom, that means we’re not even related.” Shards of what remain of my heart shred apart. This can’t be. We look a like. He’s my brother through and through.

  “Raimey, I know you’re upset, but he’s still your brother. We were raised together. Blood doesn’t change that.”

  “No. Maybe it doesn’t, but it feels different.”

  I’m holding back the emotions the best I’m able to. This isn’t something I expected. It’s much worse.

  “Don’t let this change your relationship with Del.”

  “Does he know?”

  “Yeah.”

  I manage a somewhat smile. “I saw him yesterday and he didn’t mention it.”

  “Like I said, it changes nothing.”

  “All these years we’ve been as close as twins. Now I find out he’s nothing. I can’t handle this. Why? Why would she leave me with a man who wasn’t even my dad? Who the hell do I belong to?”

  “Raimey, calm down. I don’t have all the answers. All I know is that she came back and got hooked up with Tuck. They started using pills and getting into some sketchy business deals. Next thing I know Del and Hath are locked up, and she’s nowhere to be found. Then, slowly things start disappearing from the company. First it was trucks, then tools and property. Tuck’s wife left him and he lost his house. He’s living in some cheap ass motel over a bar. We don’t talk, and I’ll be damned if I allow him to step foot on my property. I know you didn’t come home to this, but he’s bad news. He lies through his teeth, and he’ll steal from you at the drop of a hat. Crane’s tried to offer him work, but he doesn’t show up for jobs, and when he does he’s so zoinked the customers complain.”

  “And this is all because of Mom? You think she got him hooked?”

  “I know she did. Tuck was elated when she showed up. You should have seen the way he was acting. It was like he forgot about everything else to catch up with her. We were older, so I know he remembers her. All she had to do was feed him a bunch of bullshit about being locked away in prison and unable to get to us, and he was already forgiving her. They’ve been inseparable. At first they’d go out drinking and show up in the morning still fucked up. Then I could tell they were mixing something else into their late night binges. I found needles in the shop and confronted him. He told me a bum had broke in, yet not a damn thing was missing. Another time I found Zeus tangled up. His food was molded, so I knew he’d been like that for days. Luckily there was a puddle he was drinking from, or else he probably would have died. I told Crane, who went over to retrieve him and Tuck came out and threatened him with a gun. A fucking gun, Raimey. Tucker Tanner pointed a gun at Crane’s head and told him to get off his property.”

  It’s too much to comprehend. I’m at a loss for words. This can’t be happening. I’m going to wake up next to Crane and laugh because it’s so farfetched.

  “I don’t want to see her. I might strangle her to death.”

  “That’s why I’m warning you. Now that you’re back she’ll probably reach out.”

  “I’ll shut the door on her face before she gets a word in.”

  “I know you’re tough, and you have Crane, but you need to be careful.”

  “If you’re referring to trusting Crane, save it. I know you all put him up to being caught with that girl. I know all about how you forced my hand.”

  He doesn’t seem like he’s surprised I know, which means Crane probably warned him. Apparently they’re closer than they were years ago. I guess Crane doing right by me gained him some respect with my big brother. “It was for your own good. Crane wasn’t going anywhere with his life and you had potential. You didn’t have to be stuck here like the rest of us.”

  I’m shaking. It’s one thing to be sidelined with surprising news, but this is pretty much like someone ripped the rug out from under my feet.

  “Look, I know you think you were doing the right thing. I got experience in Vegas, but it wasn’t worth what I’ve lost. I should have been here. Maybe I could have helped Tuck. Maybe Del and Hath wouldn’t have gotten into trouble.”

  “You’re not their mom, Raimey. You can’t assume you’d be able to change everything. It happened.”

  “And now I’m back. I’ll be damned if I stand around letting everything go to shit because some drugged up whore thinks she can barge in and lay claim to her old life.”

  He laughs at me. “That’s probably what Tuck thinks you’re doing.”

  “Fuck Tuck.”

  When I say it we both burst into laughter. I know I rhymed and it’s pretty funny, but in all seriousness, fuck him. I’ve never been a nice person, so now I’m going to show him just how pissed I need to get to take it to the next level. If anyone belongs in jail its Tuck. He should be ashamed of himself.

  “I need to get out of here.”

  “Are you going to be okay?”

  “Yeah, tell Michelle and the girls I had a great time. I’ll come over next Sunday, if that’s okay.”

  “You’re more than welcome anytime.”

  I’m about to climb in when I stop again. “I get why you did the things you did. I know you thought you were making good choices. I appreciate that you wanted me to explore my options, but what you took away from me kept it from happening. I’ve never been the same as the person who left four years ago. I’ve struggled and made shitty choices. I’ve had my heart broken, even before it had time to heal.”

  “I’m sorry,” he offers.

  I close my eyes as I speak. “I just want everything to stop being so fucking difficult.”

  “I take it Crane wants you back?”

  “It makes sense now that I know the truth. For years I thought he couldn’t care less.”

  “He’s changed.”

  “Oh, so now you approve?”

  “I’m working on it.”

  I snicker. “I’m a big girl, bro. It’s out of your hands this time.”

  “Yeah, I can see that.”

  I wave as I pull the truck away from where my brother stands. Nothing is settled, but at least I have something to go on. Now I know who to aim my anger toward, and who I need to destroy to make my family whole again.

  Chapter 18

  Cumfort: To comfort an emotional female with a good round of love-making.

  I’m so distracted when I drive to Crane’s mother’s house that I miss my turn. When I’m in her neighborhood I pull over to the side of the street and sit for a second to calm down.

  I don’t think there is one single word that can describe how I’m feeling. I’m pissed, angry, hurt, lost, but mostly broken. I can’t wrap my head around it. My mother, who I’ve never met, is back in town. Her presence has caused a strain between my siblings. Not only that, but she’s come home with information about my brother not being my actual brother. I’m sick to my stomach over it. All my life I’ve believed one thing, and now I’m being told something completely different. Linc is right. It shouldn’t matter, but it’s easy for him to say. He knows both his mother and father. The man who pretty much destroyed my childhood wasn’t even my father. I’m utterly sick to my stomach. The warm burning tears come, and this time I don’t try to fight them. Why bother? I can’t deny this type of betrayal. Knowing my mom was always a piece of shit, I have even less respect for her. I wish the woman was dead. That’s how much I hate her.