He stands and stretches. “What you need is to call that pussy whipped bitch and tell him you’re sorry. Stop being stubborn.”

  “Can I trust him, Linc?”

  He takes a second before nodding. “Yeah. I think you can.”

  “First things first, we need to get Tuck to rehab. We’ll talk to a realtor about putting the lot on the market, and we’ll use the money to pay off the tax fines.”

  “Tuck’s the only one who wanted to keep it.”

  “He doesn’t get a say anymore.”

  “You sure you want to give it up?”

  “Yeah. It’s time I stopped holding onto the past. After everything I learned today I just want it all to be over with. I don’t care who brought me into this world, or who is guilty of what. I’m sick of it all. Paula can rot in Hell for everything she did to us. She’s a vial excuse for a human being, but she won’t break me. Blood doesn’t make someone family. I’m starting to understand that now.”

  “Let me know if I have to give Crane my blessing.”

  I shove him further away from the bed with my foot. “Get out of here. He’s probably hooking up with some bimbo to clear his mind.”

  “Raimey, trust me, even if he is, it won’t work. It never has.” He winks and walks out of the room, leaving me to suffer alone.

  I go through so many mixed emotions before I’m able to relax. When it happens I dream of my failures, my childhood, and everything I’ve come to know as the truth.

  In the morning I wake exhausted, but determined.

  Linc receives a call from Tuck. He’s been dropped off at the apartment, not the motel. We head out hoping he’ll still be there, because the thought of him getting high or drunk already is terrifying.

  Tuck sits at the kitchen counter when we walk inside. He’s sipping on a cup of coffee with shaking hands. His eyes are bloodshot and for the first time in my life I can tell he’s been crying. It breaks me, especially when he stands and pulls me into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Raimey. I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t let you find out what was going on. I wouldn’t let her taint the person you’ve become. She doesn’t get the right to know you.”

  In this moment I understand he pushed me away to protect me. I’d shown up unannounced and threatened to ruin the whole operation. “It’s okay. I’m just glad it’s over. I thought you hated me.”

  “Yeah right.” He rubs my head, messing up my hair. “You’re my kid sister. It’s impossible to hate your hard-headed ass.”

  We both smile, but I can tell he’s struggling. Linc clears his throat. “Raimey wants to ride with us. You still okay with the plan?”

  Tuck nods. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. We best be hitting the road though. I’m going to start throwing up soon. I’d rather it be once I’m near a toilet and bed.”

  The ride to rehab is about an hour. Tuck sits in the back with a bowl between his legs. He tells us about the bust and how he wasn’t allowed to talk with anyone about the whole plan. He doesn’t mention Paula, not that I expect it. I think the natural reaction is to keep protecting me from her. He thinks if he doesn’t acknowledge her it saves me from the pain. He couldn’t be more wrong, but at least he cares. It’s better than thinking he’s disowned me.

  With the exception of one close call, we make it to the parking lot before he spews all over the ground. In the length of the ride he’s turned clammy and white. His breathing is more shallow, and he’s moaning like it hurts. I’ve seen people go through withdrawal and it isn’t pretty. He needs to be monitored for the next several days and then he can start making progress. Linc tells me this is a court appointed program and he has to stay for thirty days. I’m sort of glad he can’t check himself out. We need to take care of cleaning up his messes so that when he’s released he can start fresh and maybe work at getting his family back.

  He and Linc exchange a few words before giving each other a hug. Linc tells him to be strong, and that we’re all going to be here when he comes home. Tuck begins to cry. It’s a side-effect of the addiction. He tells Linc he’s sorry for ruining his life. He asks for forgiveness and a second chance. I’m in tears when It’s my turn to say good bye. “I’m sorry you came home to this.”

  “It’s okay. Next time I’ll know to call ahead,” I tease.

  “I shouldn’t have blamed Crane. He gave me a job when I couldn’t find work. He didn’t steal from us. I did.”

  “All you need to worry about is getting better. I’m not going anywhere. We’ll have plenty of time to catch up and right our wrongs when you’re better.”

  He’s still frowning, but I can tell he has hope, because I feel the same way.

  We don’t leave until Tuck goes through intake. During the ride home Linc tells me about his next job, and asks if I need to take a couple days before I see Crane.

  I can’t avoid the inevitable . I’ve spent the past two weeks trying to fix everyone when I’m the one with the freaking problems. The truth is, I’ve never gotten over Crane. I tried to replace him. I ran away. Nothing worked.

  This time I’m not going to deny what I can’t control. I’m going to put my big girl pants and forgive him, because if I don’t I’ll hate myself forever.

  Chapter 25

  Mastembarrassment: Feeling completely nervous or embarrassed while talking to someone you have masturbated to.

  Linc drops me off at the gate to Crane’s company. At the same time a rig is pulling in with two vehicles on a flatbed, while another truck is going out. I quickly say my goodbyes to my brother, promise to be there for Sunday dinner, and make my way inside.

  Instead of going upstairs to be humiliated, I venture into my new space, hoping he hasn’t had a temper tantrum and destroyed everything we worked hard to create. The sound of a soldering gun gets my attention. I follow the noise until I come to a masked man hunched down working on a piece of metal. Technically it’s in the shop area, and not in the tattoo space, but what he’s making has to be for me.

  Since it’s dangerous for him to take his eyes off the metal, I cross my arms and wait for him to take a break. I already know it’s him. I can tell from the shape of his body, and those strong arms that draw me to want the rest of him. I’m such a sucker for this guy, and it isn’t just about the sex.

  Maybe Crane was right. Perhaps he has changed for the better. He’s running a business, paying his bills, caring for his mother, and making the time to welcome me home. I don’t just owe him an apology. I owe him a second chance.

  He finally stops and flips the mask away from his face. Seeing my feet first, he follows my legs up until we’re face to face. One he’s standing, he sits the safety mask to the side and clears his throat. “Didn’t know if I’d see you today.”

  I point to the metal decoration. “I didn’t know you were into art.”

  “I thought it would look good in your waiting room, and since I couldn’t sleep I figured I’d do something productive.”

  “You’ve been doing this all night?”

  He nods. “It was that or act like a fucking obsessed teenager and hunt you down. Raims, I’m sor...”

  I put my hand over his mouth. “Don’t. I pushed you to say those things. I know you didn’t do this to my family.”

  “I didn’t. I wouldn’t.”

  “Ever since the moment I arrived I’ve assumed you were at fault. I’ve spent years building up a hate for you that never should have been there. I’ve lied to myself, and hurt the people who love me because I’m a stubborn bitch.”

  He puts his hand up and pulls out his phone. “I think I might need to record this, because it may not happen again.”

  I playfully shove him. “Shut up and let me finish.”

  He lowers the device and grins, while crossing his muscular arms.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for not trusting you. I’m sorry for getting mad about you looking for me and hiring someone to help. Shit, I’m sorry I ever left, because I think we both know I wasn’t happy. We could have saved ourselves a lot of drama if I’d just stayed put. I certainly wouldn’t have experienced the worst two weeks of my life.”

  “Am I supposed to forgive you now?”

  I shrug. “Basically.”

  “I think I’ll wait it out. You’re cute as shit when you get impatient.”

  “I hate that you know me so well. Have mercy on me. My uncle is probably my father, and I have another brother I may never meet.”

  He shakes his head with an ornery snicker. “Wow. That’s fucked up, and no you don’t. You can’t hate me.”

  “Fine,” I say with wide eyes. “I don’t. Happy now?”

  “I’m getting there.”

  I knew he’d take advantage of this. Since I deserve it, I’ll let him have his time to gloat. “Anyway, I want you to know I won’t be dragging you through my family drama anymore. Paula is locked up. Ain’t no one going to bail her out this time. She’s done. Tuck told us they’ve got her on a kingpin charge and for running a scheme to export stolen high end cars for profit. She’s done. They got it all on tape. She nailed her own coffin.” I’m silently celebrating the idea of her being gone. In this situation I have nothing left to say to her. I’ve figured out that she’s nothing but a waste of space I shouldn’t be investing my time and energy in. My brothers are what’s important. “We took Tuck to a rehab facility. It’s part of his deal. Thirty days of treatment and the testimony to ensure Paula never sees the light of day.”

  “That’s good. It sounds like he’s motivated to make a change.”

  “He cried. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him do that before. It was hard to watch him admit his mistakes.”

  “Tuck is a tough mother fucker. He’ll get through this.” Crane puts his hand on my shoulder. “We all will, Raims.”

  I nod. “So, I guess now we just wait for Del and Hath to get released.”

  “You do know one of them has a few more years?”

  “Yeah. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

  He smiles again and shakes his head. “You sure this time? When the going gets tough will you disappear?”

  “No,” I say flatly. “I won’t.”

  “You already know I want you here with me. Hell, I’ve built this company hoping it would be my future, but until you walked through the door it never felt whole.” Crane scratches his ear like he does when he’s uncomfortable. “Truth is, you’ve never just been a fuck to me, Raims. I’m addicted to loving you, the good and the ugly parts too. You’re so fucking strong and hardheaded. I love the way you fight me.”

  I toss my hands in the air. “Here I am, Crane. All of me. If you want this disaster waiting to happen, it’s yours.”

  He pulls me closer and runs his lips across mine. “Correction. It’s always been mine.”

  “I hate you,” I tease, accepting defeat.

  “Oh, babe, I fucking hate you too.”

  That was all he said. No acceptance or preamble. Words didn’t need to be spoken to understand what his body was telling me. It was seriously hot. His newly achieved confidence only added to the appeal. There wasn’t time to contemplate going upstairs.

  “Right here, right fucking now,” he promises.

  We stare in each other’s eyes for a few more seconds before he hungrily smashes his lips against mine. Working at the same animalistic pace, I rip his shirt off, pressing him back against the metal door separating the shop from the parlor.

  We kiss while I fight to unfasten his pants. Before they hit the ground, I’m making my way down his body, my eyes locked on his as I go. This is my apology. It’s how we work. I have to give him this, to admit my gratitude without saying the words.

  He’s rock hard by the time I’m on my knees. Crane fists into my hair at the back of my head and uses the palm of the opposite hand to shove his stiff gun into my mouth. With his pants at his ankles, stuck on the thickness of his shoes, I let my hands explore the hard curves of his body, starting at the shins and then up his thighs until I’ve reached his toned ass. He fucks my face with a familiar rhythm, the sounds of his groans sending heat deep into my core.

  While my cheeks hold his hot cock between my lips, I caress his chest with my hands, raking across his nipples to get a rise. With my mouth sore and tired, I started licking his shaft, and circling my tongue around the head, his moans of pleasure causing a chain reaction to my aching mouth. Then I take his cock back into my greedy mouth. I love it when he watches, when our eyes lock and I know without a doubt I’m his most favorite possession.

  Before he can fill my mouth with his hot cum, He pulls me by my hair until I’m standing and crashing into a ravenous kiss. His lips trail down my neck as my top and bra are easily removed. He starts kissing me hungrily again while working his way around my neglected tits. Licking the nipples, he tugs each with his teeth. I gasp, biting down on my bottom lip while I fight to control the waves of passion ripping through me. He licks my pussy over my thong. I watch his long tongue slither across the cotton fabric. It’s so fucking hot I can barely keep my eyes from rolling in the back of my head. Zeus stares at us in the corner of the shop, almost as if we’re boring him.

  Crane’s teeth clamp down on the fabric and pull it away, revealing the pussy he’s about to devour. I drag my fingernails through the top of his scalp and lick my lip as he narrows in. “Oh yeah, make me yours.”

  It’s all I have to say to get him going. He doesn’t waste time fooling around. He’s feasting on my whole pussy, my clit, the lips, his tongue dragging between them to taste my arousal. He uses his chin hair to tickle my cunt while his tongue goes to town on my clit ring. I’m already bucking, my nipples tingling as he brings me to a quick and powerful orgasm. My knees buckle, but his strength holds me up. As my release trickles down my thigh, Crane laps me clean, his sexy ass moans making me tremble.

  Now he’s rubbing my pussy. I’m losing my shit, going crazy from all of this attention. He goes back to licking and sucking on my pussy like he can’t get enough. He fucks me with his tongue. I grip my hand around a fistful of hair and make him go faster. My head falls back because it’s so damn sexy I’m about to explode.

  He licks and sucks on my pussy until I’m screaming. I’m craving to have his cock in my mouth again. Fucking him with my sore lips, I move from his cock to his balls. For an extra treat, I started licking him past his balls until I reach his taint. I wouldn’t do this if he didn’t smell like soap. I’m not that sorry.

  Crane is about to blow. He’s completely caught up in what I’m doing. To avoid early ejaculation, he lifts me up to his mouth and kisses me, while backing us up until we’re in the parlor on the leather topped tattoo table. The wooden legs slide across the cement floor as he comes up between my legs and shoves his cock in me. Pounding me harder, and harder with each bout, I start coming so hard that I am pushing my body up to meet his rapid thrusts. The table is going to break, and I don’t fucking care. The harder he pounds the more I like it. He hits bottom, tapping out at my cervix and I keep begging for more. My pussy convulses and tightens until Crane has to fight to stay inside of me. The friction and pressure sends him over the edge. He’s holding onto me with a firm grip while his entire body freezes.

  I figure this is the end, until he pulls out of me and is still rock hard. He looks down and taps it, then comes back in for another kiss. He grabs my legs and pushes them up to my head, forcing his cock back inside. Now we’re both able to watch him pounding in and out of me. Veins are bulging across his forehead, sweat trickling down as his salty kisses overwhelm me.

  I look over at the mirrored wall we’ve installed for clients and watch us fucking. He catches my gaze and mouths words to me in the reflection. “I fucking love you.”

  I’m losing it again, this time everything I have left in me finally gushes out. I’d like to think it includes doubt and fear. I can’t live my life like that anymore. I have to appreciate what I have, the second chance I never thought we’d get.

  Crane climaxes after watching my pussy erupt. When we were done we lay there panting, soaked and spent.

  Crane is the first to speak. He’s never been scared of bringing up hard topics for me. “I need to know you forgive me.”

  I close my eyes as he brushes the hair out of my face. Our gaze meets and I can see all of his fears and trepidation. “I forgive you.”

  “Raims, I want you stay. I want this tattoo shop to give you the opportunity to make a name for yourself here in Atlantic City. I want to know you’re only a short walk away. I’m tired. I’m tired of meaningless relationships, and comparing every fucking woman to you. I’m tired of working my ass off for a future where I figured I’d be alone.” He takes my hand and laces it with his. “I’m ready to settle down. I want a couple kids, and I’d like my mom to be alive to meet them. I can’t do that if I don’t have you by my side.”

  I lean forward and kiss his lips. “Losing you crushed me. I hated you, because it was easier than admitting how much I still loved you.”

  “I never should have let your brothers convince me to push you away. We were young and stupid. I was a fucking mess. Making that choice forced me to grow up. Losing you changed me.”

  “Maybe we needed the time apart to realize what we have together.”

  He shrugs. “Maybe for you, but I’ve always known.”

  “Is this where you ask me to marry you and fill your house with little feet?”

  Crane chuckles. “Would it be so bad?”

  “I have zero experience being a mother.”

  “Good, that means we can learn together. We’ll have my mom.”

  “True. And Michelle and Karen.”

  “Are you actually considering?”

  “Are you actually asking?” I counter.

  “My schedule is clear when it comes to you.”

  I shove him playfully. “Let’s take our time and see where it takes us. I’m not opposed to either though. I’d try anything with you as my partner.”

  “Damn,” he wipes a single tear from his eye. “Didn’t think I had a chance.”