“Yes, ma’am.” Fallon ducked her chin. “Would you like the usual donation?”

  Athena thought a moment before responding with a shake of her head. “Double it.”

  She might regret that decision later, at least her haste in making it. But on a very basic level, she knew she never would. They were doing good work, and they needed the funds to be able to continue.

  “Is that everything?”

  “Um…” Fallon seemed shy all of a sudden, in a way Athena rarely saw her.

  She held the silence, waiting for Fallon to continue. It wasn’t like she could concentrate on work anyway right now, despite trying. Her energy waned in a way it hadn’t in decades. She needed Kevin home, but he was on a three-week trip to Indonesia with his long-time lover. What were husbands for if they were constantly gone and with someone else?

  “What do you think?”

  Athena blinked, having no idea what Fallon had just said. She really had to get better control of herself, figure out what she was missing and why she couldn’t just relax. Athena wracked her brain for any memory of what they had been talking about, but she couldn’t even bring up the start of the conversation.

  What the hell was wrong with her?

  “You have no idea what I just said, do you?” Fallon’s face fell. She drew in a deep breath and let out a long sigh. “I asked how it went with Monti. You’ve been suspiciously quiet about it.”

  “Suspicious?” Athena raised her eyebrows in surprise. “It’s hardly suspicious. She came to do a job, she did it, and she left.”

  “And you slept.” Fallon crossed her arms, giving Athena a pointed look.

  Curse her for bringing that up. Because as much as Athena wasn’t avoiding it, she wanted to. Monti’s fingers had been magic on her skin, and the sleep was heavenly. And Athena didn’t exaggerate. Ever. She would love to bring Monti back into the house and try again. Even three more hours of uninterrupted sleep would give her what she needed to focus.

  “I did,” Athena admitted. Why was that so damn hard?

  “So call her to come back.”

  Athena stretched her neck muscles, her entire jaw and chest tense from just that one comment. She’d thought about it. She really had. But to pick up the phone and make the request? Impossible. And yet to have Fallon do it was too much to ask. She was once again letting her own demons get in her way of living. Not that that wasn’t a theme for her entire life. Live into the expectations of others and the ones she set for herself and she wouldn’t have to look at what was falling apart around her. Right?

  “I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Athena finally answered, though she didn’t sound too convinced herself.

  Silence filtered through the room, and Athena wondered why Fallon hadn’t left yet. Why wasn’t she alone? Athena dragged in a ragged breath and faced her desk again. What had she been working on?

  “Let me call her.” Fallon’s request was simple and quiet.

  “Fallon…” Athena started, but she couldn’t form the words. That had been why she’d hired Fallon, and why she’d kept her around for so long. The woman was obnoxiously good at anticipating Athena’s every need and then pushing for it even when she rejected the help. Still, she wanted to say no. She wanted to deny that there was a problem.

  “She’s still in town. She will be for another week or two at least—I think, anyway. So let me call her. She could use the cash, I’m sure, and you could really use a few more hours of sleep.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Athena finally answered. The pull of the muscles in her shoulder was so intense she was pretty sure something was about to break. “I really just need to get some work done.”

  “You can’t work if you can’t focus.”

  Why did she have to be blunt sometimes? That was a trait both Fallon and Monti shared, and it irked Athena. She’d always been taught not to do that except when in the courtroom, and even then she felt as though she was working against herself every time she did it.

  “It’s not that bad,” Athena said, flicking a glance to Fallon because they both knew she was lying through her teeth. Fallon’s look said it all. Sighing heavily, Athena waved her off. “Fine. Call her.”

  “Perfect. I’ll schedule her in.”

  Athena didn’t answer as she sat back down at her desk. Work. That’s what she needed to get done. This injunction wasn’t going to file itself, and she’d been debating whether or not to expand their list of people to sue when it came to the individuals on the police force.

  Who would she have sued in her own case? Hell if she knew. It was so long ago, and such a different time. She was a different person then. Biting her lip, Athena stared at the email that had just come in. A notification of a scheduled event. Monti would be there in an hour.

  Good.

  That gave her time to get things sorted before she had to distract herself with someone else for a while. When Athena looked up at her door again, Fallon was standing in it. But this time she had a nervous look on her face.

  Athena couldn’t keep up with everything going on.

  Her brain was fried, and just trying to focus on the basics was hard enough. Managing Fallon’s emotions was beyond her capacity right now. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to ask what the problem was, afraid the answer would be too big for her to handle.

  “Simon called.”

  “Oh?” What could her son possibly want now? And how had she missed the call? Or rather, why would he call Fallon instead of her? Athena tried to work through the possibilities but gave up when Fallon’s voice reached her ears again.

  “I told him you were in a meeting when he couldn’t get ahold of you.”

  Leave it to Fallon to try and protect everyone. “What did he want?”

  “He wanted to know if you were planning anything for his birthday or if he should schedule a time to come home for it.”

  Athena pursed her lips, the pressure building behind her eyes almost instantly. It wasn’t that she’d forgotten that it was his birthday. It was that she didn’t want to think about it. Some milestones were harder than others.

  “What did you tell him?”

  “To come home. I’ll figure something out.” Fallon turned her back and closed the door.

  Left in the blissful quiet of her office, Athena collapsed into her chair. What was going on with her? She couldn’t keep going on like this, could she? Something had to give.

  It just couldn’t be her.

  She was too destroyed to break again.

  Wasn’t she?

  five

  “I need you to come back and see Athena.”

  Monti leaned back in her van, her feet up on the small bed she slept on, pillows piled behind her. She wasn’t sure she wanted to go back, and she honestly hadn’t expected this call. With the way Athena had left the room, Monti was pretty certain they would never see each other again.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Fallon sighed, and Monti could imagine the stress lines on her face, the pinch in her cheeks, the thinness of her lips. “I don’t think you understand. I need you to come back.”

  “I don’t practice anymore.”

  “I know. I get that. But she hasn’t slept since you were here.”

  “That was four days ago.” Monti sat up, one leg curled under the other. Had it really been four days? On one hand it felt longer, and on the other, she could still remember Athena’s steady breathing as Monti sat vigil over her while she slept.

  “I know!” Fallon repeated, her voice nearly screeching. “I need you to come back.”

  “You need me or she needs me?” Because those were two different questions, and Fallon hadn’t said anything about Athena asking for her. Not yet.

  Fallon whimpered. Which answered Monti’s question.

  “It’s not a good idea unless it’s her idea.”

  “It’ll never be her idea,” Fallon muttered. “Come tonight at five. I’ll make sure she knows you’ll be here.”

  “No.”

  “Yes.”

  “Fallon…” Monti ground out her sister’s name in a warning. “I don’t practice anymore.”

  “But you’re still licensed.”

  “That doesn’t matter. I’ve given it up. I’m not doing this.” Monti’s back was up. Fallon had never understood why she’d left her careers, why she jumped from one job to the next, why she’d chosen to live in her van and do life exactly as she wanted. Without expectations. Without leaving a trail of people behind her who would miss her when she was gone.

  “You’re my sister, and that’ll never change.”

  As much as Monti hated that Fallon was right, she also couldn’t deny it. Cringing, she took a deep breath and pushed down that defensive line of pain that lashed through her. Fallon would be better off if she wasn’t so attached, but Monti understood why Fallon was. Anyone would be, coming from their circumstances, especially because Fallon had been old enough to know what was what at the time.

  “I get that,” Monti said, finally, her tone softening. Why was this always such a war within her? Why couldn’t she just find that elusive inner peace everyone demanded existed? “But if she doesn’t want me there, nothing I do is going to work.”

  “Oh, she wants you here. She needs to sleep or all of us peons are going to rebel and tie her up in a closet for the rest of next week.” Fallon laughed lightly. “Not that we’d actually do that, but she has a big client meeting coming up tomorrow, and she needs to be on point for it.”

  Intrigued, Monti wrinkled her nose. She hated that her sister knew how to get her each and every time. Helping people. It was her biggest weakness. “Fine. I’ll be there at five.”

  “Thank you!”

  Monti hung up and blew out a breath as she fell flat on her back and stared at the ceiling in her van again. What was she doing? Going back into that house, that prison of a house, to help someone who was so resistant to help wasn’t going to accomplish anything. But she would do anything for Fallon, especially when she used that tone.

  Her phone buzzed in her hand, and when she picked it up, there was a text from Fallon.

  Fallon: It’s 4:45.

  “Shit.”

  Fallon had done that one on purpose. Monti scrambled out of the bed, slipped her sandals on, and got behind the wheel. It was going to take her twenty minutes just to get out of the city, and another ten to get to Athena’s mansion on the hill. She clenched her jaw, not doubting that Fallon had already planned for that when she’d called, knowing that Monti wouldn’t make it before five.

  Damn her sister for having this figured out.

  Monti arrived at fifteen after. The gates automatically closed behind her as she drove toward the front of the house and parked exactly where she had the time before. She had no supplies for this. Fallon knew that. She had oils, yes, but nothing else.

  Rubbing her clammy hands over her thighs, Monti prepared herself. Athena was a closed book, yet there had been brief windows to see inside, though it was clearly out of necessity and not because Athena had willingly revealed those things. Monti centered herself with a quick meditation. She had to go into this with her mind open and ready for whatever Athena was going to share with her.

  When Monti opened her eyes, Fallon was at the front door, arms crossed, and giving her a serious look. She was out of time. Climbing from the van, Monti started for the door and rubbed her hands along her thighs. She was wearing yoga pants today, having come from doing some exercise at a park. It was probably for the better since she didn’t have pockets to accidentally flip Athena out.

  Perhaps if she came back again, she would make sure to dress in yoga pants.

  “She’s waiting for you.” Fallon didn’t seem all that happy.

  “Has the boss been taking her lack of sleep out on her employees?”

  Fallon’s sharp look confirmed her suspicion. Monti swallowed hard. She hadn’t meant to poke the bear, but she certainly had. She had to get better at this living-in-peace thing. One year on the road and she hadn’t managed it, despite the fact that she truly did love living without responsibilities. It had taken a whole year for her to realize that those weren’t the issue at hand.

  “A few hours is all I’m asking for.”

  “I’ll do my best, but if she’s not ready for it, then it’ll never work.”

  “Ready for what?” Fallon rubbed her lips together as they stopped outside the library door.

  “To work on the problem.”

  “What’s the problem?”

  Monti shrugged. She didn’t honestly know, but even if she did, she wasn’t going to tell Fallon. That was for Athena only to disclose, whenever she was ready.

  “Fine. Don’t tell me.”

  “You know I can’t.”

  “I know. I just wish…” Fallon sighed heavily, looking directly at the door, her face falling. “I just wish I knew how to help her better.”

  “It’s not your job.”

  “Maybe not.” Fallon put her hand on the knob. “You ready?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be…I think.”

  Walking in, Monti was greeted with Athena standing at the farthest bookshelf. She pulled one book and then another, stacking them before rolling her neck and her shoulders. She was exhausted to the point she was barely upright. Her body listed from side to side as she attempted to grab the next book.

  “I’d feel better if you sat down so you didn’t fall over.”

  “I won’t fall,” Athena muttered.

  “Could have fooled me.” Monti moved to the chair she’d sat in before, wanting to give Athena the advantage of sitting where she preferred.

  “I suppose Fallon told you why you’re here.”

  “You’re not sleeping.” Monti rubbed her palms along the chair. “I honestly didn’t think our last session went well enough for you to call me again.”

  Athena cut her a look so sharp that it could cut diamonds. If Monti were someone else, she would have laughed at it, but she knew intuitively that Athena would recoil if she did. Monti bit her tongue and eyed Athena over. She looked almost perfectly put together, still covered head to toe.

  Yet there were dark bags under her eyes that were puffy and red. The makeup she wore barely covered it up. Her skin was paler than it had been days ago, and her fingers trembled as she grabbed another book.

  “Athena, sit down.”

  Athena’s chin jerked up, her gaze locked on Monti’s face. How many people were permitted to call her that? Still if Monti wanted to make some sort of progress toward deepening their relationship, then they were going to need to break down some of these walls between them. Monti raised an eyebrow pointedly and waited to see if Athena would give in. She must be using all of her strength to stay upright.

  “I don’t want to pry if you don’t want me to, but I get the sense that you’re scared to sleep.”

  “I’ve never heard anything so asinine.”

  Monti grunted and rested in the chair. “I would never underestimate fear if I were you.”

  “I never underestimate anything, Monti.” Athena walked toward her, stumbling down the one step that would lead her to the chairs.

  Monti almost jumped up to catch her, but she held her ground, if only to prove her point just how tired Athena was. But she had to know. There was no other reason why Monti would be there if she didn’t. Athena slipped into the chair next to Monti, nearly melting into it.

  “Did you ask Fallon to call me or did she suggest it?”

  “What does it matter?”

  “It helps me assess the situation more fully.”

  Athena’s lips thinned, and her eyes closed. It took her a long time to open them again, and Monti could tell she wasn’t seeing clearly. “I asked her to call you.”

  Interesting. Monti had to approach Athena with gentleness, and she had to make sure that Athena saw her coming. She was jumpy, and Monti was fairly certain that if she startled Athena that would be the end of their working relationship.

  “In the last session, you slept.”

  “I did.” Athena’s shoulders tightened. “And I need to sleep again.”

  “But the real question, or rather the real problem to solve, is why you aren’t sleeping. Not just getting the sandman to take you.”

  Athena chuckled low. “I haven’t heard that reference in a while.”

  “It seemed apt considering the circumstances.”

  “Agreed.” Athena clenched her fingers into a tight ball before relaxing them. “I don’t want to talk. I want to sleep.”

  “I’m not entirely convinced one can happen without the other.” Monti saw the recognition flash across Athena’s eyes before she closed them again. It was getting harder and harder for Athena to avoid, and eventually, she would either talk to Monti or she would find someone else who could help her.

  “It’ll have to.”

  “Oh, denial. You are a mighty beast, aren’t you?” Monti shifted in the chair, leaning forward. “If you don’t want my help, Ms. Pruitt, then why am I here?”

  “I can’t think.”

  “Because you’re not sleeping.”

  “I believe we’ve established that fact,” Athena ground out. “Are you sure you have a master's in psychology?”

  Monti chuckled. “Yes. Many years of my life dedicated to schooling that I may never use again.”

  “And why is that?” Athena reached for a small glass on the table that Monti had missed before. It was filled with an amber liquid, probably alcohol of some sort, though Monti had no idea which kind. Athena lifted the glass to her lips but didn’t drink.

  “I don’t work in a clinical setting anymore, and I don’t plan on returning.” Monti rubbed her palms together. She had anticipated this line of questioning the last time they’d met. When it hadn’t happened, she’d assumed she’d gotten away without it. “Two years ago, I realized I needed to do a deeper search. I needed to find peace.”

  “And have you found it?” Athena eyed her over the glass as she sipped. Her eyes were so blue, the red rims and puffiness such a stark contrast. It brought out the color in a way Monti hadn’t expected. Her face was heart shaped. In another life, Monti could imagine Athena being the talk of the town, living up to her given name. “Monti?”