“Dad?” I say anxiously into the receiver. “What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

  If it isn’t about me and Sephy, I expect it to be some big work emergency. He doesn’t really care about much else, but to my surprise it isn’t that at all. The words that come out of his mouth shock me.

  “It’s the baby…” Dad replies with his usual grave tone. “It’s on the way.”

  “That’s early,” I blurt out without much thinking about it. “Are you sure?”

  “We all know it’s early, kid, that’s why we’re all at the hospital. Do you understand?”

  I gulp, hating how bad that sounds. I really hope nothing bad happens to the baby, that would utterly crush Marcus, and the rest of us. I don’t think there’s any coming back from that.

  “I’m on my way,” I promise, already mentally mapping out the journey. “I’ll be as quick as I can be. Is there anything I can do, anything that anyone needs?”

  “Yes… pick up Liza’s sister on the way. I think she wants her here.”

  I glance towards the living room where Sephy is probably still sitting up on the table, hearing the same terrifying news that I am. “Yes, I can do that.”

  13

  Persephone

  Me and Alex don’t talk the entire drive to the hospital. I stare anxiously out of the window and he is focused firmly forwards. I’m pretty sure the speed he’s going is too fast but I don’t care. I’m keen to get to the hospital as quickly as we can to see what’s going on. Liza needs me right now, I can feel it in my chest and I need to be there for her. Being this far away is killing me, giving me chest pains.

  By the time we pull up and slot into a parking space, I’m out the car already. I practically fall out the car in my desperation to get there. I walk so fast that I’m pretty much running. I’m sure I look foolish to other people but I don’t give a shit. Even if I look insane I’m really not bothered.

  “What room did they say they’re in?” I rasp at Alex, speaking to him for the first time since we got the phone calls. “Did someone say to you? Was it Seven oh…” I smack my head in frustration. The number is there in the back of my brain somewhere but I can’t seem to find it. “Oh God, what is it?”

  “Seven oh nine,” Alex confirms with a sharp nod. “Definitely seven oh nine, come on.”

  He grabs onto my arm and drags me towards the elevator. I go willingly, glad to have him taking control of the situation because my head is everywhere. My heart thumps hard, practically shattering my rib cage as nerves get the better of me. I’m frigidity and twitchy as we wait for the elevator to arrive, I bounce from foot to foot, unable to stand still. Everything feels impossible, especially being calm. How the hell can I relax until I’m with Liza? I need to be by her side to check that she’s okay.

  A ding rings out as the elevator arrives and I jump inside eagerly. But even that isn’t enough, I still feel so frustrated that I could scream. There’s a guttural sound in the pit of my chest that really wants to break free. But of course I can’t because I need to keep it together because I’m in public.

  I dart a glance to Alex and I see his cheek twitching. It’s clear to me that he’s keeping a whole lot of emotions inside too. I want to reach out and comfort him, I wish I could wrap my arms around him so we can go through this together, but of course I can’t. Not now, no one knows about us yet. He senses me looking at him and he reaches out to squeeze my hand for just a brief second. The sensation is lovely, it makes me feel cared about, but unfortunately it isn’t enough. I still wish for more.

  Alex’s hand falls away as soon as the elevator doors open and we start to head down the hallway towards whatever our fate held. My tongue feels thick in my mouth, my cheeks ache painfully, I feel an ice cold darkness settle in the pit of my stomach. I don’t know what we’re going to face and I’m utterly terrified. Maybe I’m wrong and everything will be fine, but right now I’m petrified.

  “Alex!” the booming voice of his father calls out. “We’re all here. Come and sit with us.”

  “What’s happening?” I gush, running to see them all. “Mom, tell me what’s going on?”

  Mom wipes a tear from her eye, but thankfully it seems to be a happy tear which helps me to relax just a little bit. “Liza is in the room. She only wants you, I’m stressing her out apparently.”

  I don’t say it aloud, but I can imagine that. I love my mom dearly, she’s a wonderful woman who’s done a wonderful job with us both and has always been there, but she isn’t the best person to be around in an emergency. She flaps and gets really stressed out, worrying everyone else unnecessarily.

  “Okay, Mom, that’s fine. I’ll just go and see her now. Check everything is alright.”

  I leave the parents and Alex too, not worrying about them for the moment. They’re fine, it’s clearly Liza that needs me now. I suck in a breath, trying to prepare myself, before I slam the door open.

  “Oh thank God you’re here,” Liza’s sweaty, red hot face bursts into a smile. “I need you.”

  Marcus stands awkwardly in the corner, looking like he’s desperately looking for something positive to do. I feel a bit sorry for him actually, I can tell this isn’t his sort of situation, so I throw the poor guy a bone. I might not know much about him, but I can still be nice to him.

  “Marcus, I think Liza needs some water and ice chips. Maybe some chocolate too.”

  “Right.” His body visibly sags with relief. “Yes, okay I’ll sort that out. No problem. Be bright back.”

  Liza rolls her eyes as he leaves the room. “I love that guy but he’s a bit like Mom in an emergency. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s good with problems that he can solve, but contractions aren’t something he can deal with.” Almost as if on cue she balls over and screams as if agony is ripping through her body. “Argh, like this! This stresses him the hell out. I need you here for it.”

  I grab her hand and rub her back in what I hope is some comfort. Underneath all the redness of her face I can still see that she’s incredibly pale. I’ll be glad when this baby is here and she looks better. I don’t like seeing her looking so pasty. I don’t think pregnancy agrees with her at all.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask calmly. “What can I do? Just let me know and it’ll happen.”

  “Look after the baby when all of this is over,” she replies gravely, shocking me with her slightly morbid words. It’s a weird thing to say. “Make sure my baby is taken care of, no matter what.”

  “I’ll babysit, but I don’t think I can offer more than that,” I laugh, trying to turn it into a joke.

  Maybe Liza doesn’t know what she’s saying. I don’t know what pain killer drugs she’s on which might have her loopy. Plus there’s all those hormones swimming around in her. I’m sure she hasn’t got a clue what she’s going on about. If I remind her afterwards, I’m sure she’ll laugh.

  “Honestly though, Sephy, it has to be you if anyone takes care of my child. I only trust you.”

  I feel a bit ill, her words have my eyebrows knitting together. This is getting a bit intense now. “I don’t know if Mom will like that. I think she’s mad keen to babysit her first grandchild.”

  Luckily another contraction rolls through Liza in that moment which makes her forget about the conversation. Her words have me all churned up inside, although I think I was a mess anyway before I even arrived in this room. The fear, the confusion, the terror, the fact that I was with Alex. I don’t know, but her words have made it all that much worse. I don’t know what she means.

  “Oh my God, Sephy, this is horrible,” she yells with tears streaming down her cheeks. “I don’t think I can do it. It’s too much, this is horrific. Don’t ever put yourself through this, trust me.”

  I snap into action, pushing my own feelings to one side and I become what Liza needs me to be. When Marcus comes back in the room I bark instructions at him, when it’s time to get the doctors I do it and follow their instructions too. I don’t know, but I think I do a very good job. Through all the pain, the agony, the blood, and God knows what else, over the next few hours getting the baby out of my sister. It’s a horrible, terrifying situation, but at the end of it something wonderful comes out.

  “It’s a boy!” the doctor yells as soon as the crying, red bundle of joy arrives. “You have a boy.”

  “Did you hear that?” I ask Liza with tears streaming down my cheeks. Happy tears, exhausted tears, I don’t know what. I’m just an emotional mess. I haven’t ever felt this way before, it’s a deep, boundless love. “You’ve got a baby boy. A son! That’s amazing. What are you going to call him?”

  “Benji,” Liza gasps weakly, the strain of the birth racking through her body. “He’s call Benji.”

  “Benji?” Marcus screws up his nose as if he doesn’t like the name. “I think we’ll have to talk about that later on. I thought we had decided on Edmund if he’s a boy, didn’t we?”

  “No.” Liza just about manages to shake her head from side to side. “He’s called Benji, please.”

  Finally the doctors have cleaned up baby Benji – I’m sure my sister will get her way in the end – and they hand him to Marcus. He cradles his baby to his chest and leans down to kiss him on the forehead. I can see him melting, he looks like he’s found a real deep love which is amazing to see. I get all choked up and grab my cell phone to take a picture of the moment. It feels intrusive to capture such a private moment but I’m sure they’ll thank me later when they have a record of the moment.

  “He’s so lovely,” croons Marcus. “Here you go, sweetheart, I’m going to go and get everyone else.”

  “Wait.” I hold up my hand to stop him before he gets carried away. “Is that okay, Liza? Do you feel ready for everyone to come in here yet? If you need a few moments first, that’s absolutely fine…”

  “No, no, it’s fine.” She looks incredibly weak but she forces a bright smile on her face to be brave for everyone else. I’m sure she doesn’t want all the parents in here driving her mad but she is willing to put all of that aside for them because they will be desperate to see the baby. “Get them in.”

  Marcus hands baby Benji over to Liza and her whole body lights up. I can tell that she’s finally comfortable with her life and that this is exactly where she wants to be. As ill as pregnancy has made her, it’s worth it to see this moment of her finally at peace. As she looks at her son she looks utterly blissful, which is another moment I need to capture so I take a series of images of her and Benji.

  “You look happy,” I comment idly. “I think that little boy is the thing to complete you.”

  Liza glances up at me all bleary eyed as if she forgot that I’m here. Her expression shifts as she sees me and I can see that strange seriousness coming back. I shift uncomfortably on my feet while I wait for her to speak. I don’t know why, but I don’t think I’m going to like what comes next.

  “I meant what I said before,” she says softly. “I do want you to be a massive part of Benji’s life. Promise me that you will be, I think my baby needs you in his life.”

  I chuckle and grab her hand as much as I can under the baby. “Of course I’ll be there. I want to be, I already love this little man. I think he’s going to change all of our lives for the better.”

  “Can you take him for a moment?” she whispers quietly to me. “I just need some rest.”

  I grab Benji and look down at his face, recognizing so much of my sister’s features in his face. He represents a whole lot to me, just by being born. I really do think that it’s going to be a brand new start for all of us.

  14

  Alex

  The tension in the waiting room could be cut with a knife, I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. My dad won’t stop pacing up and down, clicking his shoes against the shiny hard floor, as panic tears through him clearly. I can tell this isn’t an environment that he feels comfortable with. Probably because he can’t control it. This isn’t his office where he’s in charge of everything. Then there’s my mom who’s face is so pinched I fear she might be frozen. I can’t read her enough to know what she’s thinking. She isn’t comfortable here either, but I’m not totally sure why. I want to ask, but I can’t. She’s not a warm and open woman who I’ve ever been able to speak to about anything.

  “Does anyone want a drink?” Sephy’s mom is an emotional wreck, but she’s the only one who’s trying to ease things. It makes my heart go out to her, she seems so much warmer than my parents.

  “You know what, I’ll come with you.” I jump up to join her, feeling utterly grateful for this break from the horror. “I think I saw a coffee machine on the way in so I’ll walk with you to it.”

  I walk close to Sephy’s mom as we walk through the hallways, basking in her warmth. She’s lovely.

  “I can’t believe Liza gave birth,” she says with a trembling emotional voice. “It’s mad, isn’t it? My daughter has become a mother. I don’t know how I feel about it.”

  “Proud, I bet,” I reply with a smile. “I bet she’s doing a really good job in there.”

  “Thank you for bringing Sephy here. She and Liza are really close. I don’t think she could have done this without her. Sephy is so much better than me at this sort of thing.” She turns to me for a second, almost as if she realizes that she’s babbling. “Sorry, you probably don’t know Sephy well, do you? You’ve only met her a couple of times, like me. It’s weird, isn’t it? Maybe we need to make an effort to be closer as a family. Especially now that there’s going to be a baby.”

  Guilt floods me, I feel sick to my stomach. I really want that too, but me and Sephy have promised ourselves that we’re going to tell everyone the truth about us once the baby is here. I don’t want to tear everyone apart again. But we have to, don’t we? We can’t continually hide away.

  “Yeah,” I reply hollowly. “Yeah I think that’s a really good idea. We do need to be close now.”

  We get coffees out of the machine, but just for us for the time being. We stand by the machine to continue on talking for just a few moments, keeping away from the tension that my parents create.

  “I think you’ll get on well with Sephy, she’s a great girl.” She nods slowly. “I mean, she’s a real fun loving girl. I have been worried about her recently, I’m scared that she’s shutting herself away from the world quite a lot, but I suppose she’s been like that for a while. Since Bobby.”

  The name Bobby strikes a bolt of jealousy through me. I think I’ve vaguely heard the name before but I don’t know any of the details. Rationally I know I should just as Sephy, but there’s an opportunity for me to find out everything I want to know now. I shouldn’t, but I dive in and ask anyway.

  “She doesn’t seem closed off to me,” I reply innocently. “Who’s Bobby anyway?”

  “Urgh.” She rolls her eyes in an over the top fashion. “Bobby is her horrible ex-boyfriend. She was with him for a while, a few years actually, and he destroyed her when he cheated on her.”

  I gulp, suddenly realizing that maybe I shouldn’t have asked that. I don’t know it I want to know.

  “I think it’s him who cheated on her with that destroyed her actually, it was her best friend.”

  “That’s horrible,” I murmur, knowing that I need to love Sephy more now. I haven’t done anything wrong to hurt her, but someone else has and I want to make up for that. “That really sucks.”

  “I just want her to meet a nice man now, like Liza has done with Marcus. I want her to find someone to make her happy.” I feel guilty, wishing I could just tell her everything, but I can’t. It isn’t the right time and I definitely don’t think this is something I should do alone, particularly when it isn’t my family. “I fear that she sees how I’ve been since her father died and she think it isn’t lonely to be by yourself.” She shrugs and looks at the ground. “It is lonely, I don’t want that for her. She deserves more. She’s a lovely girl who deserves someone to love her with absolutely everything.”

  I can feel it coming, the confession is almost about to pour out of my mouth, so I need to change the subject rapidly before I do. I want to reassure this lovely woman that I’ll take care of her daughter until the bitter end, that I love her more than anything in the world, but I really can’t.

  “We should probably get some drinks for everyone else, even though they probably won’t drink them as they would be so busy with the new born now.”

  She snaps into action and grabs up a couple of drinks, then we move much quicker back towards the waiting room to see if either Sephy or Marcus will come for us. We’re all desperately waiting to see the baby, I don’t think any of us can stand it. This baby is going to change everything… hopefully for the better. We all need something positive to focus on, to give us some happiness.

  “Here you are, Mom, Dad.” I hand them both some drinks which they instantly put to the side to not drink. I know they won’t drink anything out of a polystyrene cup. Even if it comes from a posh place, it isn’t good enough for them. Still, the effort is there, that’s enough. “Any news yet?”

  “No.” Mom’s lips zip tightly together and the strain shows across her forehead. “Do you think we should go in there and see? I don’t like how long it’s taken, I want to know how Marcus is.”

  I create a barrier between them and the hallway, knowing that this is my role. “No, Marcus will come out here if he wants us. He’s asked us to wait so we have to respect his wishes.”

  My dad glares at me, I can tell he doesn’t like me taking that tone but it’s tough. He can control his own world, but if I have anything to do with it, this won’t be something under his power. I hold my head high, jutting out my chin and I wait defiantly. Marcus needs me to do this for him.

  Luckily, just as I can feel my outward façade starting to slip just a little bit, Marcus races towards us, almost skidding along the floor as he goes. His face is covered in sweat, he’s red and stressed looking, his hair is sticking out in every single direction. He looks mental, but also really happy which can only mean one thing… thank goodness, it looks like everything has gone well. Since the phone call I got and the fact that the baby has come early, there was always an intense worry in my chest that it wasn’t going to go well. Still I brace myself and I wait for him to confirm it with his words.