“Do you have a bandage?” he asked. Blood dripped from his finger. Cathy grabbed a dishtowel and wrapped it tightly around his finger. She could feel pulsing under her hand.

  “Stupid move. I just wasn’t paying attention,” he said.

  Cathy waited until the blood slowed, then hunted for a bandage in the restroom cabinet. She knew where his mind was today. As she rounded the corner to bring him the bandage, the phone rang. She froze. When she heard Tim call Jamie to the phone, her heart pounded. Standing at the edge of the kitchen, she watched Jamie’s face and strained to hear.

  “Sure, I understand,” Jamie said. “Thank you again. Yes, please keep me in mind.”

  Cathy stepped back so he wouldn’t know she heard the conversation and counted to ten before returning to the kitchen. “Bandage,” she said, knowing it wouldn’t do much good for what really ailed him.

  He held out his finger. She wrapped the shiny bandage around the cut. “Good as new.”

  He sat down at a bar stool, elevating his finger.

  “Coffee?” Cathy asked.

  He looked up, but his eyes seemed far away.

  Cathy poured two cups of coffee and sat down beside him. “Any news?”

  “That was the Sonoma Country Inn. Their old chef came back into town, and they felt compelled to give him the job. I would have had the position otherwise.”

  “Tough luck,” Tim said, taking the stool on the other side of Jamie.

  “Luck? I’m not having much of that these days.”

  Tim pointed to Jamie’s bandaged finger. “Hey, what’s happening here? I can’t stand the sight of blood,” he said, covering his eyes. “And I don’t want to stain my white pants.”

  Jamie rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, you can peek. It’s under control.”

  Cathy stifled a laugh.

  Tim flung an arm around Jamie’s shoulder and gave Cathy a knowing look. “If anyone can cheer you up, it’s Cathy. And if that doesn’t work, I could always take you dancing again.”

  A customer entered the front of the store, and Tim stood to leave. “Seriously, man, if you need anything, just let me know.”

  Jamie slid off the stool. “Thanks, Tim. Let’s get back to work. At least I can earn my keep.”

  Cathy stood and blocked his way. She made him look into her eyes. “Jamie, you and your family are welcome in my home as long as you want.” His eyes drifted back to the floor. She wanted to hug him but touched his arm instead. “I’m the lucky one having your incredible skills to help me in the café.”

  “Seems you’re the only one who thinks so,” he said. “Here I am wanting to feed the world, and I can’t even feed my family.”

  “Jamie, it’s a small county. There aren’t a lot of jobs. This is not about your skills.”

  He slipped back onto the stool. “All I can hear is my father’s voice saying, ‘I told you so.’ And Pam is expecting that money and success will just roll in any day.”

  “At least you’re following your dream, pursuing the career you really want.”

  “I guess so,” he said. “Then why does it feel so damn bad? Maybe Pam was right about starting out in a big city first.”

  “Jamie,” Cathy said. “Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back in the kitchen.”

  He looked surprised. At least she’d gotten his attention.

  She continued, “Get back where you belong, because you are the most incredible chef I’ve ever met.”

  Feelings flitted like shadows across his face before he broke out in his boyish grin.

  Jamie covered Cathy’s hand with his bandaged one. “Thank you.”

  Cathy followed him back into the kitchen and proceeded to put away the left-over veggie burgers and pull the carob chip cookies out of the oven.

  “At least it’s Friday,” she said to Jamie. “Tomorrow Brian takes over for the Saturday lunch, and we don’t serve lunch on Sunday.” He kept working with his back to her. “We could all take the rowboat out and head down to the river, have a picnic.”

  “Amber would like that,” he said, sounding better.

  “Done then! We’ll bring some goodies home to pack up and bring and sleep in tomorrow as late as we want.”

  In her mind she planned the perfect day for them. All four of them.

  ****

  After putting Amber to bed, Jamie buried himself in the classified ads. Pam was curled up in the rocker in the living room, rocking back and forth. She’d been moping around all evening after the news that Jamie didn’t get the job.

  Cathy sat down beside her. “Would you like to talk?”

  Pam stared at her. “Are you tired?”

  “Not that much,” Cathy said. “Why?”

  “I have a little surprise and I think tonight is the night.”

  Cathy was not sure she was up for a surprise and Jamie looked like he was ready to fall asleep at the table.

  “Tequila Sunrises! I bought all the stuff and hid it in the cupboard for a special occasion. No one can be sad with one of those.”

  Pam’s reasoning was a bit flawed, but it sounded like a good way to drown their sorrows. “Let’s do it,” Cathy said.

  Pam bounced up from her chair, hurried over to Jamie, and put her arms around his slouching shoulders. “Honey, do you want to join us for a Tequila Sunrise?”

  “No, I’m too tired,” he said. He forced a smile. “You two enjoy yourselves. I’m going to bed.”

  Eyes wide and her lower lip in a pout, Pam stared at him. “You sure?”

  Jamie rose and tossed the paper in the trash. “Yes, I’m sure.” He turned and left them standing there in the dining room.

  Cathy hoped he felt better in the morning. She wished she could put her arms around him and tell him how great he was. Pam wanted to have a party to forget, like she’d seen her mother do. Fix it with a drink. What about love?

  Pam turned to Cathy. “Well, why are you just standing there? Let’s go make Sunrises.”

  The blender roared, crushing ice that was placed in tall glasses while Cathy squeezed some fresh orange juice. Pam poured a generous amount of tequila into the glasses. “Now add the sun,” she said to Cathy, indicating the orange juice was next. Pam measured a teaspoon of grenadine into each and stirred. “Perfecto.” They each took a glass and held it in the air. “To us!” Pam said.

  Drinks in hand, they returned to the couch. Cathy had to admit the drink tasted great and the tequila was already relaxing her aching muscles.

  “It’s been quite a while since we did this, hasn’t it?” Pam asked.

  “It sure has. What, maybe ten years ago?”

  Pam sighed and took a large sip of her drink. “We’ve known each other twenty years. Can you believe it? It makes me feel old.”

  “We’re not that old. And look what a great life you have now,” Cathy said.

  “Yeah, I do. A whole lot better than when we met in sixth grade. Remember that dingy apartment I lived in with my mom? You were the only friend I ever let see the place.”

  Cathy remembered it well. It was up two flights of stairs. Everything seemed gray inside, except Pam’s pretty mom with long blonde hair and red lipstick. But she was often resting on the couch, a drink in hand. “I do remember going there a few times, but we usually went to my house.”

  “That’s for sure,” Pam said. “You had the best parents and the best stuff. I was so jealous of your clean, white furniture and fluffy pink bedspread. We spent hours outside on the trampoline your dad set up for both us. He always included me.”

  To Pam he was nice, Cathy thought. To his family, not so much. Even the trampoline had been a gift for all the kids in the neighborhood. He’d made that real clear. It was for the poor kids who had nowhere to play. Cathy was not to use it unless she invited some friends who would lavish thanks on her dad. It was always about show for him. Making sure everyone knew what a great guy he was. Resentment burned in her stomach. She had to let it go.

  “He was nice to my mom too,” Pam said. “The good old days,” she added with a wink, then snapped back to the present. “Do you want a refill?”

  Cathy held up her half full glass. “Not yet.” While Pam was in the kitchen, Cathy ruminated over how her father might have been nice to Pam’s mother. She’d never heard this before. She waited for Pam to return to her seat and drink a little more. “My dad was nice to your whole family?”

  “He was,” she said, her voice slightly slurred now. “Even before we moved into the school district and I met you. He helped everyone in town.”

  “That he did,” Cathy said between clenched teeth. “You knew my dad before we met?”

  “Just a little. I remember him stopping by sometimes with bags of food and stuff.”

  Cathy scrutinized Pam’s moves. Was she telling the truth? Why now? She felt dizzy, like the room was moving, and put her glass on the table. “Did he give you any other gifts?”

  “Not really, he just helped out some. Remember that crazy fashion show we did in junior high? And that creepy guy who kept wanting to wear our clothes!”

  Cathy had wondered how Pam afforded the cute jacket and pleated skirt she’d worn in the fashion show. But she didn’t give much mind to things like that back then. Now she probably knew.

  “We did have fun, didn’t we, Cathy? And then Caroline came along in high school and we were a bitchin’ threesome. We ruled that school.”

  They were not as pleasant memories for Cathy as they obviously were for Pam. She’d never really liked Caroline, but she had to admit, they did have fun. “I haven’t heard from Caroline in years.”

  “She’s even richer now than when we were in high school. Her and Bentley travel to Europe and have this mansion in a swanky area of Santa Barbara, and her clothes!”

  “She always had great clothes,” Cathy said. “Remember her prom dress?”

  Pam giggled. “It was miles and miles of silk organza! She looked like she belonged on the cover of Seventeen Magazine.”

  “You were the bold one wearing a mini-skirt,” Cathy said.

  “And all the boys loved it.” Her face dropped. “Except Todd. He only had eyes for you.”

  “I hope so. We were dating then,” Cathy said.

  Pam stared out to space. “I have to admit, I really wanted to be the queen. I’d look in the mirror and imagine wearing the crown and everyone clapping.” She sighed and looked back at Cathy. “But you always got everything.”

  “That’s not true,” Cathy said, annoyed by the implication. “Being the high school prom queen and marrying terrible Todd, how is that everything?” Cathy took a breath. To Pam, it must have seemed like the world to be queen. But Cathy knew she’d won the vote only because she was dating the school’s football star.

  Pam narrowed her eyes. “Now I have almost everything I ever wanted, just like I planned.”

  Pam and her plans. She had what she’d always wanted. Back in school, Pam often had some devious thing planned to get some guy away from his girlfriend or some such thing. Cathy didn’t know whether to feel sorry for Pam or forewarned.

  “Almost?” Cathy asked.

  A smile curled up Pam’s face. “Next is the great job for Jamie, the big house for us, and living happily ever after, of course.”

  “Of course,” Cathy said. Uneasiness churned in the pit of her stomach. She wondered just how she fit into this tidy little plan. “This has been fun, Pam. Thanks for the cocktail hour, but I really need to get some sleep now.”

  “Nighty night,” Pam said, lifting her drink.

  Cathy walked to her bedroom, more exhausted than she’d felt in a long time. Memory Lane was not a place she wanted to walk down any longer.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Cathy’s bedroom door flew open, jolting her awake. Amber ran in, jumped up on the bed, and crawled up next to Cathy’s face. Her blonde curls were everywhere, and she had on the cutest Winnie the Pooh nightgown.

  “Auntie, are we going rowing today? You promised.”

  Yawning, Cathy remembered the big plan for the day. Amber burrowed under the covers next to her and rested her head on Cathy’s shoulder. Her hair smelled like baby shampoo.

  “Amber, did you wake up Cathy?” Pam stood at the door, hands on her hips.

  Cathy waved her away. “It’s okay. I was awake.”

  Pam scowled and stayed in place.

  Amber giggled, and Cathy joined her. They pulled the blanket over their heads for a private meeting. “Shall we plan everything we’re going to do today?” Cathy asked.

  Her eyes wide, Amber nodded her head up and down.

  “Well, first let’s plan—”

  “What’s all this laughing going on here?” Jamie said in his Papa Bear imitation. “And where’s Amber?”

  They giggled harder. Amber popped out of the blanket. “I’m here, Daddy!”

  He took her into his arms and swung her around.

  Cathy sat up to watch. She noticed Jamie’s gaze flash over her body clad only in a skimpy nightshirt and pulled up the covers.

  Jamie brought Amber in for a landing into Pam’s open arms.

  “Is everyone ready to go to the river today?” Cathy asked.

  “Yes, yes,” Amber said clapping her hands. “Can we, Mommy, can we?”

  Pam looked to Jamie. “It can be an early Father’s Day picnic. Let’s go change into our swimsuits and pack some snacks.”

  She put Amber down, and the three of them raced toward their bedrooms.

  Father’s Day was tomorrow. Cathy hadn’t even remembered. It was not a holiday with sweet memories in her heart. She really should do something for Jamie. Perhaps she could bring home dinner tomorrow night and give him a break.

  Cathy took a quick shower and scarfed down an apple. She pulled on a one-piece bathing suit and packed some Coppertone and towels in a beach bag.

  Outside, Jamie carried two striped backrests off her deck, and Pam had the lunch basket. Amber, in pink flip-flops and a bathing suit to match, was ready to go.

  It was a gorgeous day already: warm, nearing 80, not a cloud in the bright blue sky. Amber hummed as they walked down the trail to the river. The tall cedar trees provided shade, and a light breeze moved through the oaks. When they hit the sand, everyone tossed off their sandals and ran to pick a place. Warm sand oozed between Cathy’s toes as she waited for Jamie to smooth out the blanket for them to sit on.

  “Let’s go in the water,” Amber said, tugging at her mom.

  “In a minute, Amber, we just got here.” Pam started covering herself in suntan lotion.

  “Pleeease, Daddy,” Amber continued. Jamie gave in, and they ran into the water. The sun reflected off their hair and shoulders. Cathy had one of those rare “everything feels perfect” moments.

  Pam spread out her towel and sat down. She took off her T-shirt and pulled the shoulder straps down on her avocado and turquoise bikini. She hummed as she coated her pale skin with suntan lotion. A recipe for a bad sunburn, Cathy mused.

  Cathy propped up a beach chair and sat down next to her.

  Pam lay back on the towel with a sigh. “It’s so nice to have a minute alone to hear myself think.”

  Cathy was surprised, but only for a moment. Pam had been with Amber twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, while Jamie and Cathy worked.

  “I’m happy to watch Amber anytime you want a break,” Cathy said.

  Pam opened her eyes. “Cathy, do you mean it? I don’t want to impose, but Jamie and I haven’t had much time together since we got here.”

  “No problem,” Cathy said. “You and Jamie should go out for dinner. I can cook too, remember?”

  Pam stared out toward the water. “Those two sure have fun together. I sometimes wish there was more time for just Jamie and me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom.”

  “I can see that. And you’re a good one. Even moms deserve some time off, an escape.”

  Pam leaned back and took a deep breath. “It would feel so good to just mellow out. I’ll ask Jamie, see if he wants to go.”

  “Why wouldn’t he?” Cathy asked. “Everything seems great between you two.”

  Pam’s face dropped. “You really think so?”

  “If anything, he might be a bit tired from me working him so hard.”

  “Really?” Pam said.

  “Of course, he’s obviously crazy about you two.”

  Pam looked back out at her family splashing in the river. “Yes, us two.”

  Cathy watched Jamie and Amber run and splash in the water. “They’re so cute together,” she said.

  Pam started to cry.

  “What is it?” Cathy asked. “Is everything alright?”

  Pam wiped her tears on her arm and tried composing herself. Jamie and Amber ran back, kicking sand on the way. It was obvious Pam needed a longer break. Cathy took Pam’s hand and pulled her up. “Come on, let’s take a walk.”

  Dad and daughter wrapped themselves in towels as the two women walked away. Cathy led Pam down the bank of the river. Pam’s face was red, and her breath was a little ragged. As they walked along the green, flowing water, Cathy waited for Pam to talk. A radio from a group of sunbathers blasted Boz Scaggs’s “The Lido Shuffle” while kids ran and played along the muddy bank.

  “Please don’t think I don’t love my life. I do,” Pam finally said. “I know I have everything any woman could want.”

  Cathy stayed silent but couldn’t help thinking: Yes, you do.

  Pam walked over to a large log near the shore and sat down. Cathy joined her. The sun baked on their bare shoulders as they watched a family going down the river on inner tubes. They were obviously digging it.

  “I worry about losing Jamie,” Pam whispered. She kicked sand with her toes and stared out at the river. “I know he loves Amber.”

  It was unsettling to see Pam’s perky, positive attitude crack. “Pam, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

  “Do you really think so? It’s just…”

  Cathy held her breath, waiting for Pam to finish. Some kids splashed in the water with their exuberant black lab.

  “I was pregnant. Before we were married.”

  Cathy turned toward her friend. Pam’s face drained of color.