In a lowered voice, she continued, “Jamie proposed after he found out.”

  “He probably planned to anyway.” Cathy tried to sound convincing.

  Pam shook her head. “I don’t think so. Actually, he’d been pulling away.”

  The look on Pam’s face was heartbreaking. “Cut it out, Pam. I’m sure the pregnancy just got him over his fear of commitment. You know men.”

  Pam didn’t respond. Cathy felt like a shark who’d been circulating in Pam’s choppy waters.

  “We’re so different,” Pam said. “It was his idea to move up here to the country. You know me; I’m a city girl. All Jamie was focused on was raising Amber in a good place.”

  Cathy gave her a sympathetic look. She could see the dilemma. Pam and Jamie wanted different things. Pam’s dreams were front and center. Jamie deserved to pursue his dreams too. Amber seemed to be the glue that held them together.

  “He’s just not very ambitious. Caroline offered to get Jamie an interview at a fancy restaurant in Santa Barbara, and he still wanted to come up here.”

  “Maybe he’s just trying to find his way professionally. It’s hard on him dealing with these rejections.”

  “And hard on his wife too,” Pam said. “He doesn’t seem interested anymore. Not even in bed.”

  Cathy squirmed. “You’re both under a lot of stress, and tired.”

  Pam stretched. “Yeah, you’re right. Maybe I could distract him from his worries if I got a new outfit. Something sexy. We could go out and have some fun like we used to before Amber was born.”

  “That can be arranged,” Cathy said. “Let’s plan a girls’ day out and do some shopping soon.”

  Pam threw her arms around Cathy. “What a great idea.”

  Cathy rose and brushed sand off the back of her legs. “Now let’s go back there before you get any more sunburned. You can go have some fun with your wonderful family.”

  Pam’s happy mood was back and so was her smile. “Okay, let’s go have lunch,” she said. “I’m starved.”

  By the time they returned back to the blanket, Pam was as perky as ever.

  “About time you made it back,” Jamie said. “We were just going to have lunch without you.”

  He opened the basket and pulled out thick chicken sandwiches on homemade wheat bread and a container of potato salad. Cathy couldn’t wait to taste Jamie’s version.

  Everyone piled their plates with food and ate ravenously.

  “So, Jamie, what do you put in your potato salad?” Cathy asked.

  He finished chewing and thought for a moment. “Besides the usual, I add a pinch of mustard, diced green pepper, and use half mayonnaise and half plain yogurt.”

  Cathy continued eating. “It’s very creamy.”

  Pam wiped Amber’s face with a napkin. “Slow down, kid, you won’t have room for dessert.”

  “What is it, what is it?” Amber demanded.

  Jamie reached in the basket and brought out a plate of chocolate brownies. Everyone swooned. The plastic wrap was soon torn off and discarded, and the brownies were history.

  Amber lay down and rubbed her tummy. “I’m so full.”

  Cathy knew the feeling and joined her flat on her back. The afternoon was warm and the river calm. Cathy flipped on her side to face Pam. “Why don’t you and Jamie take the rowboat out while we nap?”

  Pam looked over at Jamie. “Are you up to it so soon after lunch?”

  He jumped to his feet. “I’m always ready.”

  Of course Cathy’s mind went to other things when he said that. What kind of friend was she? One minute she comforted Pam, and the next she thought about Jamie’s prowess. Her feelings for Jamie were clouding her mind.

  Perhaps it was time to call David. Or head back to Sebastian’s. Maybe Chuck would be there again. She needed to get out on a date and stop focusing on what she couldn’t have.

  They watched them hop into the boat and paddle downstream.

  Amber piped up, “I want to row too.”

  Pam must be happy now. Cathy closed her eyes and let the sun soak into her body. Amber fidgeted next to her. Cathy put her hand over Amber’s. “You okay?”

  Amber scooted close and laid her head on Cathy’s shoulder. This must be how it felt to have a child. Cathy’s little girl would be nine years old, if she’d lived.

  “I like it here,” Amber said. “I hope my daddy finds a job soon.”

  “He will,” Cathy said, opening her eyes.

  Amber sighed and propped herself up with one arm. “Mommy says we might have to move far away.”

  “Not if I can help it,” Cathy said. “Now let’s close our eyes get to work on our tans.”

  Cathy willed herself not to think as she drifted off. The next thing she knew, cold water splashed her skin and shocked her awake. Jamie stood over them, his cutoff jeans dripping wet. Water beads glistened over his brawny chest and shoulders. Cathy tried not to let her gaze wander to his wet cut-off jeans clinging to his thighs.

  “It’s your turn, sleepy heads. Let’s go!”

  Pam wrapped herself in a towel. “The water felt wonderful!” she said with a dreamy smile. She took her spot on the blanket, put on a hat and sunglasses, and picked up a Woman’s Day magazine.

  “You all have fun,” she said, waving as they walked toward the river.

  While Jamie balanced the boat, Cathy and Amber took a seat in the back. Jamie hopped in, sat on the narrower bench up front, and put the oars in the water. His muscles flexed with each stroke. It was hard for Cathy not to think about running her fingers over his smooth, golden-brown chest. They moved downriver toward the ocean, flowing along with the current. The trees along the bank cast shadows on the water and wild irises bloomed everywhere. Suddenly, Jamie stood up in the boat, oars in hand, and started singing an Italian song. It took Cathy a minute to realize he was mimicking a gondolier from Italy.

  His rich voice rang out, “Bene, bene verde river and bella donnas in the boaté, that’s amore.”

  Amber giggled, and Cathy was loving it. His voice was melodic, and his mock accent was hysterical yet very charming.

  Now he sang straight to Cathy as he waved his hands in the air, “Ciao, Catalina, with rosso hair and grande rowboat! Grazie, grazie and arrivederci!” He almost dropped the oars but caught them mid-air. His lopsided grin displayed the dimple that set off his chin.

  For that moment, there was no one else in the world but the three of them floating down the Russian River. They joined him singing made-up love songs. He maneuvered the boat over to shore, next to a gnarly uprooted Bay Laurel tree, and they got out to look around.

  Jamie lifted Amber up into the large tree roots.

  “Princess of the Trees!” Amber giggled.

  They mock bowed. “Princess Amber.”

  “And you two can be the King and Queen,” Amber said.

  Jamie glanced at Cathy. It was not hard to imagine being at his side. She jumped off the tree branch and walked to the water’s edge.

  Jamie and Amber followed her over to the water. Jamie picked up a small stick and sat down on the wet sand with Amber beside him. “Let’s draw,” he said.

  Cathy watched him trace a heart and point to Amber. “I love you, little one.”

  Amber took the stick and drew a round face with a big smile.

  Now it was Jamie’s turn again. He added a figure eight over the heart.

  “What’s that, Daddy?”

  “It’s the infinity symbol. It means forever, little one. That I will love you forever.”

  Amber threw her arms around her daddy. “Love you infinity,” she said before running down to splash in the shallow water’s edge.

  Cathy tried to embed the perfect moment in her memory. Jamie stood up beside her. They watched Amber play.

  “Do you believe love transcends death?” Cathy asked Jamie.

  He turned to her. “Absolutely. Why?”

  “When you drew that infinity symbol, it reminded me of an experience with my father.”

  “Really?” he said. “Tell me about it.”

  Cathy shivered. “It was in the middle of the night several hours after my father died. I woke suddenly and felt a freezing whisk of air go through my room. My father, bright and slightly translucent, stood at the foot of my bed, radiating love to me like I’d never felt before.”

  “He came to say goodbye,” Jamie said.

  A wave of emotion racked through Cathy’s body, sending goose bumps down her arms and legs. She hoped the vision was her father’s way of saying, “I’m sorry.”

  “I believe love never dies,” Jamie said, his blue eyes boring into hers. “People you love are always with you, even when they pass.”

  Cathy started to cry, and Amber came running up to give her a hug. “What’s the matter, Auntie Cathy?”

  “Nothing, nothing,” she said, leaning down and giving Amber a tight hug back. “Sometimes grown-ups just need a good cry.”

  The sun moved behind the trees, and Cathy realized they’d been gone a while. She looked up at Jamie.

  “I think we’d better get back,” she said with regret.

  They scrambled into the boat, and Jamie rowed them back to the picnic site. The oars pierced the water in a smooth even pattern. They were going upstream now, against the current. In many ways that was how Cathy had been living her life, fighting the flow of love.

  Jamie pulled the boat ashore, and Amber ran to tell her mother about their adventure while the adults followed behind. Pam’s head was still buried in her book, so Cathy felt some relief that they hadn’t been gone too long. Just as she was about to sit down and join her friends, Cathy heard her name being called.

  “Cathy, is that you?” A dark-haired man waved at her from up the beach, and she recognized David. That was timing. She waved back.

  His tanned, olive skin, tall muscular body in red swim trunks, and black wavy hair turned women’s heads as he walked over to join them. He was a good-looking man; she would give him that. His dazzling smile seemed to work its magic on Pam as Cathy introduced everyone.

  “David, why don’t you sit down and join us?” Pam said.

  Cathy watched David check out Pam’s body. “I wish I could,” he said, “but I’m here with my buddies, and we were just about to leave.”

  Pam looked truly disappointed. “What a shame. Got any dinner plans?”

  “Nope,” he said.

  Cathy could see where this is going. It would probably be better if she and David went out alone. Before she could say anything, Pam blurted out, “Oh good, my husband, Jamie, is an amazing chef. Why don’t you join us tonight?”

  David looked over at Jamie. “I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

  Jamie hesitated before answering. “No problem. I was planning on making pasta primavera for tonight. If you’d rather come another night, we could barbecue something.”

  “Spaghetti is cool, man,” David said. “What time?”

  “You’ll have to ask the lady of the house,” Jamie said, looking at Cathy.

  Cathy groaned inwardly. This was not a great match of characters. “See you at seven.”

  “Check you later,” David said turning to go. “I’ll bring the beer.”

  When he was out of earshot, Pam leaned over and raised an eyebrow to Cathy. “He’s a hunk.”

  Cathy shrugged. On the outside, there was no doubt. But her eyes strayed to Jamie as he packed everything and tossed Amber up on his shoulders. But some men had it all.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Cathy pulled out her makeup and applied mascara and lip-gloss. She might as well look good for David. She didn’t need the blush after the glorious day in the sun. Her turquoise tank top matched perfectly with her colorful peasant skirt, and her red Diwali sandals were her favorite. Cathy took one last look in the full-length mirror. She wondered what Jamie, not David, would think of her outfit. She could smell garlic scent from the pasta sauce wafting under her door. Italian love songs flowed through her head as Cathy twirled in the skirt.

  The doorbell rang; David was here. The songs stopped.

  David entered the house like it was his own, his thumb and third finger looped through a six-pack of Budweiser. Not Cathy’s favorite. He hugged her with one arm.

  “Lookin’ good,” he said.

  His white gauze shirt set off his tan with its low-dipping neckline. Pam, wearing a backless, hot-pink dress with lipstick to match, greeted him like a long lost love and thanked him for coming. She put the beer in the fridge, then opened two, one for him and for herself, and joined him at the table where he waited to be served.

  Jamie, in his classic T-shirt and jeans, popped the cork on a bottle of Merlot and pulled out wine glasses.

  “Never had wine with spaghetti,” David said, looking skeptical.

  “A light-to-medium-bodied red wine pairs well with pasta, Jamie said. “The fruit flavors of the wine go well with tomato sauce.” He poured Amber some juice then held up the bottle of Merlot. “Who wants wine?”

  Cathy raised her glass then made a toast. “To friends.”

  David raised his beer can and clinked her wine glass. Women swooned over this guy. She had too when she first met him, but now his veneer wore thin.

  Cathy watched Jamie pour the steaming sauce mixed with sautéed vegetables into a large serving bowl filled with pasta. The pungent smells of garlic, basil, and tomato were ecstasy.

  “Dinner coming to the table,” Jamie said, sprinkling the top with grated Parmesan cheese. He brought the food in and began serving.

  David held up his plate.

  “Ladies first,” Jamie said with a grin. He took his time making David wait as long as possible. Cathy watched, amused by the dynamic between the two men. It was obvious Jamie was not too fond of her date.

  David sipped his beer. At least he had the sense not to take a bite off her plate. His fingers pounded the table as he waited for his serving. Cathy suppressed the urge to laugh. Was Jamie jealous? Or perhaps he just didn’t like David.

  Amber stuffed a huge portion in her mouth, and warm strings of cheese dripped from her chin. Jamie placed a plate before Cathy and then served himself and David. He took a seat and held up his glass for a toast. “To fine dining.”

  Cathy’s mouth was in sensual heaven. “Grazie, grazie,” she said to Jamie.

  He grinned as he twirled spaghetti with his fork.

  Pam leaned over and asked David about his work. He basked in the attention and was more than happy to talk her ear off.

  “You built that big home in only three months?” Pam asked.

  David laughed. “Well, I did have some help, but I was the head contractor.”

  “It seems the area is really growing,” Jamie said. “Your business must be doing well.”

  David nodded, stuffing another bite into his mouth. “Yeah, if you ever need a carpentry job on the side, let me know.”

  “We probably won’t,” Pam said. “But thank you for thinking of us.”

  Her stomach threatened nausea, but Cathy wouldn’t let it spoil this fabulous meal. David was filling Pam’s wine glass and they were actually giggling together like teenagers. Cathy glanced over to see how Jamie was reacting. His brow was tense. Was Pam just so enamored with David that she didn’t realize her husband was there too, or was she intentionally trying to make Jamie jealous? Cathy never knew just how innocent Pam really was or just how clever. She cleared her throat rather loudly. David looked up like he just remembered the rest of them were here. He gave her a weird look and then turned to Jamie. “So, what do you do for work?”

  Cathy hated when things went quiet, and she really wanted to say something to stand up for Jamie.

  “Actually,” Jamie said, sounding very sophisticated, “I just graduated from culinary school in San Francisco, and I’m interviewing for executive chef positions here in Sonoma County.”

  “Pretty cool. You’re not just a fast food cook then,” he said, laughing at his own joke. “Ah, come on. I dig it. The spaghetti’s great, man.”

  Cathy wanted to slap David. She realized she’d never taken a good look at who this guy really was. Their time together always ended in bed, which had been fine for both of them. Isn’t that what she wanted? Even looking at him now, the physical attraction was there. His jet-black hair fell across a perfectly carved face, his spectacular hazel eyes sparkled under thick lashes, and his sleek swimmer’s body was tanned and smooth. There was chemistry, but it didn’t go more than skin deep.

  Cathy took a long sip of wine. “Wonderful dinner, Jamie. But tomorrow, on Father’s Day, there will be no cooking for you. It will be your day off. Mama Luca’s makes the best pizza in town, and I’ll bring home an extra large pie.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Amber perked up. “Me and Mommy are making Daddy a special breakfast too. Aren’t we, Mommy?”

  “Yes we are,” Pam said as she cleaned Amber’s face and hands with a napkin. “Shall we all go in the living room now?”

  “Let’s leave the dishes for now,” Cathy said. “I’ll get them later.” She noticed David didn’t offer to help.

  Jamie took Amber by the hand and everyone followed him into the living room.

  Cathy opened another bottle of wine and brought it with her to the couch. She usually didn’t drink this much. David, another beer in hand, sat down next to her. His arm slipped around her shoulder, and he stroked her neck with his fingers. Cathy’s body reacted to his touch. The wine numbed the surfacing thoughts that tried to tell her she was finished with him. No, she told herself, this was the kind of safe relationship she’d wanted. Safe.

  Libby jumped into David’s lap. He sneezed and pushed her off. Cathy always wondered about guys allergic to cats. For some reason, it seemed to signify an allergy to women as well.

  The conversation circled around summer activities coming up on the river, music festivals, parades, and the Fourth of July picnic. Pam pulled up the rocker nearer to the couch. More than once, Cathy caught her staring at David. She couldn’t totally blame Pam for enjoying the attention. It had probably been a while since a single man flirted with her like this.

  “It’s getting late.” Jamie ruffled Amber’s hair. “I think I’ll put this little one to bed now.”